第9章

NotuntilbackinmyowncellandconsciousnesswasIabletomullthethingoverandrealizethatjustaswasJakeOppenheimer，sowasEdMorrell，sowasI。AndIcouldnotbutthrillasIglimpsedthevastitudeofspiritthatinhabitedthesefrail，perishingcarcassesofus——thethreeincorrigiblesofsolitary。Fleshisacheap，vainthing。Grassisflesh，andfleshbecomesgrass；butthespiritisthethingthatabidesandsurvives。Ihavenopatiencewiththeseflesh-worshippers。AtasteofsolitaryinSanQuentinwouldswiftlyconvertthemtoadueappreciationandworshipofthespirit。

ButtoreturntomyexperiencemOppenheimer’scell。Hisbodywasthatofamanlongdeadandshrivelledbydesertheat。Theskinthatcovereditwasofthecolourofdrymud。Hissharp，yellow-

grayeyesseemedtheonlypartofhimthatwasalive。Theywereneveratrest。Helayonhisback，andtheeyesdartedhitherandthither，followingtheflightoftheseveralfliesthatdisportedinthegloomyairabovehim。Inoted，too，ascar，justabovehisrightelbow，andanotherscaronhisrightankle。

Afteratimeheyawned，rolledoveronhisside，andinspectedanangry-lookingsorejustabovehiship。Thisheproceededtocleanseanddressbythecrudemethodsmeninsolitarymustemploy。I

recognizedthesoreasoneofthesortcausedbythestrait-jacket。

Onmybody，atthismomentofwriting，arehundredsofscarsofthejacket。

Next，Oppenheimerrolledonhisback，gingerlytookoneofhisfrontuppertooth——aneyeteeth——betweenthumbandforefinger，andconsiderativelymoveditbackandforth。Againheyawned，stretchedhisarms，rolledover，andknockedthecalltoEdMorrell。

Ireadthecodeasamatterofcourse。

"Thoughtyoumightbeawake，"Oppenheimertapped。"HowgoesitwiththeProfessor？"

Then，dimandfar，IcouldhearMorrell’stapsenunciatingthattheyhadputmeinthejacketanhourbefore，andthat，asusual，Iwasalreadydeaftoallknuckletalk。

"Heisagoodguy，"Oppenheimerrappedon。"Ialwayswassuspiciousofeducatedmugs，butheain’tbeenhurtnonebyhiseducation。Heissuresquare。Gotallthespunkintheworld，andyoucouldnotgethimtosquealordoublecrossinamillionyears。"

Toallofwhich，andwithamplification，EdMorrellagreed。AndI

must，righthere，ereIgoawordfurther，saythatIhavelivedmanyyearsandmanylives，andthatinthosemanylivesIhaveknownproudmoments；butthattheproudestmomentIhaveeverknownwasthemomentwhenmytwocomradesinsolitarypassedthisappraisalofme。EdMorrellandJakeOppenheimerweregreatspirits，andinalltimenogreaterhonourwaseveraccordedmethanthisadmissionofmetotheircomradeship。Kingshaveknightedme，emperorshaveennobledme，and，askingmyself，Ihaveknownstatelymoments。YetofitallnothingdoIadjudgesosplendidasthisaccoladedeliveredbytwolifersinsolitarydeemedbytheworldastheverybottom-mostofthehumancesspool。

Afterwards，recuperatingfromthisparticularboutwiththejacket，IbroughtupmyvisittoJake’scellasaproofthatmyspiritdidleavemybody。ButJakewasunshakable。

"Itisguessingthatismorethanguessing，"washisreply，whenI

haddescribedtohimhissuccessiveparticularactionsatthetimemyspirithadbeeninhiscell。"Itisfiguring。Youhavebeenclosetothreeyearsinsolitaryyourself，Professor，andyoucancomeprettyneartofiguringwhatanyguywilldotobekillingtime。Thereain’tathingyoutoldmethatyouandEdain’tdonethousandsoftimes，fromlyingwithyourclothesoffinhotweathertowatchingflies，tendingsores，andrapping。"

Morrellsidedwithme，butitwasnouse。

"Nowdon’ttakeithard，Professor，"Jaketapped。"Iain’tsayingyoulied。Ijustsayyougettodreamingandfiguringinthejacketwithoutknowingyou’redoingit。Iknowyoubelievewhatyousay，andthatyouthinkithappened；butitdon’tbuynothingwithme。

Youfigureit，butyoudon’tknowyoufigureit——thatissomethingyouknowallthetime，thoughyoudon’tknowyouknowituntilyougetintothemdreamy，woozystates。"

"Holdon，Jake，"Itapped。"YouknowIhaveneverseenyouwithmyowneyes。Isthatright？"

"Igottotakeyourwordforit，Professor。Youmighthaveseenmeandnotknownitwasme。"

"Thepointis，"Icontinued，"nothavingseenyouwithyourclothesoff，neverthelessIamabletotellyouaboutthatscaraboveyourrightelbow，andthatscaronyourrightankle。"

"Oh，shucks，"washisreply。"You’llfindallthatinmyprisondescriptionandalongwithmymugintherogues’gallery。Theyisthousandsofchiefsofpoliceanddetectivesknowallthatstuff。"

"Ineverheardofit，"Iassuredhim。

"Youdon’trememberthatyoueverheardofit，"hecorrected。"Butyoumusthavejustthesame。Thoughyouhaveforgottenaboutit，theinformationisinyourbrainallright，storedawayforreference，onlyyou’veforgotwhereitisstored。You’vegottogetwoozyinordertoremember。"

"Didyoueverforgetaman’snameyouusedtoknowaswellasyourownbrother’s？Ihave。TherewasalittlejurorthatconvictedmeinOaklandthetimeIgothandedmyfifty-years。AndonedayI

foundI’dforgottenhisname。Why，bo，Ilayhereforweekspuzzlingforit。Now，justbecauseIcouldnotdigitoutofmymemoryboxwasnosignitwasnotthere。Itwasmislaid，thatwasall。Andtoproveit，oneday，whenIwasnoteventhinkingaboutit，itpoppedrightoutofmybraintothetipofmytongue。

’Stacy，’Isaidrightoutloud。’JosephStacy。’Thatwasit。Getmydrive？

"Youonlytellmeaboutthemscarswhatthousandsofmenknow。I

don’tknowhowyougottheinformation，Iguessyoudon’tknowyourself。Thatain’tmylookout。Buttheresheis。Tellingmewhatmanyknowsbuysnothingwithme。Yougottodeliverawholelotmorethanthattomakemeswallowtherestofyourwhoppers。"

Hamilton’sLawofParsimonyintheweighingofevidence！Sointrinsicallywasthisslum-bredconvictascientist，thathehadworkedoutHamilton’slawandrigidlyappliedit。

Andyet——andtheincidentisdelicious——JakeOppenheimerwasintellectuallyhonest。Thatnight，asIwasdozingoff，hecalledmewiththecustomarysignal。

"Say，Professor，yousaidyousawmewigglingmyloosetooth。Thathasgotmygoat。ThatistheonethingIcan’tfigureoutanywayyoucouldknow。Itonlywentloosethreedaysago，andIain’twhisperedittoasoul。"

CHAPTERXXI

Pascalsomewheresays:"Inviewingthemarchofhumanevolution，thephilosophicmindshouldlookuponhumanityasoneman，andnotasaconglomerationofindividuals。"

IsithereinMurderers’RowinFolsom，thedrowsyhumoffliesinmyearsasIponderthatthoughtofPascal。Itistrue。Justasthehumanembryo，initsbrieftenlunarmonths，withbewilderingswiftness，inmyriadformsandsemblancesamyriadtimesmultiplied，rehearsestheentirehistoryoforganiclifefromvegetabletoman；

justasthehumanboy，inhisbriefyearsofboyhood，rehearsesthehistoryofprimitivemaninactsofcrueltyandsavagery，fromwantonnessofinflictingpainonlessercreaturestotribalconsciousnessexpressedbythedesiretoruningangs；justso，I，DarrellStanding，haverehearsedandrelivedallthatprimitivemanwas，anddid，andbecameuntilhebecameevenyouandmeandtherestofourkindinatwentiethcenturycivilization。

Trulydowecarryinus，eachhumanofusaliveontheplanetto-

day，theincorruptiblehistoryoflifefromlife’sbeginning。Thishistoryiswritteninourtissuesandourbones，inourfunctionsandourorgans，inourbraincellsandinourspirits，andinallsortsofphysicalandpsychicatavisticurgenciesandcompulsions。

Oncewewerefish-like，youandI，myreader，andcrawledupoutoftheseatopioneerinthegreat，dry-landadventureinthethickofwhichwearenow。Themarksoftheseaarestillonus，asthemarksoftheserpentarestillonus，eretheserpentbecameserpentandwebecamewe，whenpre-serpentandpre-wewereone。Onceweflewintheair，andoncewedweltarboreallyandwereafraidofthedark。Thevestigesremain，gravenonyouandme，andgravenonourseedtocomeafterustotheendofourtimeonearth。

WhatPascalglimpsedwiththevisionofaseer，Ihavelived。I

haveseenmyselfthatonemancontemplatedbyPascal’sphilosophiceye。Oh，Ihaveatale，mosttrue，mostwonderful，mostrealtome，althoughIdoubtthatIhavewittotellit，andthatyou，myreader，havewittoperceiveitwhentold。IsaythatIhaveseenmyselfthatonemanhintedatbyPascal。Ihavelaininthelongtrancesofthejacketandglimpsedmyselfathousandlivingmenlivingthethousandlivesthatarethemselvesthehistoryofthehumanmanclimbingupwardthroughtheages。

Ah，whatroyalmemoriesaremine，asIflutterthroughtheaeonsofthelongago。InsinglejackettrancesIhavelivedthemanylivesinvolvedinthethousand-years-longOdysseysoftheearlydriftsofmen。Heavens，beforeIwasoftheflaxen-hairedAesir，whodweltinAsgard，andbeforeIwasofthered-hairedVanir，whodweltinVanaheim，longbeforethosetimesIhavememories(livingmemories)

ofearlierdrifts，when，likethistledownbeforethebreeze，wedriftedsouthbeforethefaceofthedescendingpolarice-cap。

Ihavediedoffrostandfamine，fightandflood。Ihavepickedberriesonthebleakbackboneoftheworld，andIhavedugrootstoeatfromthefat-soiledfensandmeadows。Ihavescratchedthereindeer’ssemblanceandthesemblanceofthehairymammothonivorytusksgottenofthechaseandontherockwallsofcaveshelterswhenthewinterstormsmoanedoutside。Ihavecrackedmarrow-bonesonthesitesofkinglycitiesthathadperishedcenturiesbeforemytimeorthatweredestinedtobebuildedcenturiesaftermypassing。

AndIhaveleftthebonesofmytransientcarcassesinpondbottoms，andglacialgravels，andasphaltumlakes。

Ihavelivedthroughtheagesknownto-dayamongthescientistsasthePaleolithic，theNeolithic，andtheBronze。IrememberwhenwithourdomesticatedwolvesweherdedourreindeertopastureonthenorthshoreoftheMediterraneanwherenowareFranceandItalyandSpain。Thiswasbeforetheice-sheetmeltedbackwardtowardthepole。ManyprocessionsoftheequinoxeshaveIlivedthroughanddiedin，myreader……onlythatIrememberandthatyoudonot。

IhavebeenaSonofthePlough，aSonoftheFish，aSonoftheTree。Allreligionsfromthebeginningsofman’sreligioustimeabideinme。AndwhentheDominie，inthechapel，hereinFolsomofaSunday，worshipsGodinhisowngoodmodernway，Iknowthatinhim，theDominie，stillabidetheworshipsofthePlough，theFish，theTree——ay，andalsoallworshipsofAstarteandtheNight。

IhavebeenanAryanmasterinoldEgypt，whenmysoldiersscrawledobscenitiesonthecarventombsofkingsdeadandgoneandforgottenaforetime。AndI，theAryanmasterinoldEgypt，havemyselfbuildedmytwoburialplaces——theoneafalseandmightypyramidtowhichagenerationofslavescouldattest；theotherhumble，meagre，secret，rock-hewninadesertvalleybyslaveswhodiedimmediatelytheirworkwasdone……AndIwondermehereinFolsom，whiledemocracydreamsitsenchantmentso’erthetwentiethcenturyworld，whetherthere，intherock-hewncryptofthatsecret，desertvalley，thebonesstillabidethatonceweremineandthatstiffenedmyanimatedbodywhenIwasanAryanmasterhigh-stomachedtocommand。

Andonthegreatdrift，southwardandeastwardundertheburningsunthatperishedalldescendantsofthehousesofAsgardandVanaheim，IhavebeenakinginCeylon，abuilderofAryanmonumentsunderAryankingsinoldJavaandoldSumatra。AndIhavediedahundreddeathsonthegreatSouthSeadriftereevertherebirthofmecametoplantmonuments，thatonlyAryansplant，onvolcanictropicislandsthatI，DarrellStanding，cannotname，beingtoolittleversedto-dayinthatfarseageography。

IfonlyIwerearticulatetopaintinthefrailmediumofwordswhatIseeandknowandpossessincorporatedinmyconsciousnessofthemightydriftageoftheracesinthetimesbeforeourpresentwrittenhistorybegan！Yes，wehadourhistoryeventhen。Ouroldmen，ourpriests，ourwiseones，toldourhistoryintotalesandwrotethosetalesinthestarssothatourseedafterusshouldnotforget。

Fromtheskycamethelife-givingrainandthesunlight。Andwestudiedthesky，learnedfromthestarstocalculatetimeandapportiontheseasons；andwenamedthestarsafterourheroesandourfoodsandourdevicesforgettingfood；andafterourwanderings，anddrifts，andadventures；andafterourfunctionsandourfuriesofimpulseanddesire。

And，alas！wethoughttheheavensunchangingonwhichwewroteallourhumbleyearningsandallthehumblethingswedidordreamedofdoing。WhenIwasaSonoftheBull，IremembermealifetimeI

spentatstar-gazing。And，laterandearlier，therewereotherlivesinwhichIsangwiththepriestsandbardsthetaboo-songsofthestarswhereinwebelievedwaswrittenourimperishablerecord。

Andhere，attheendofitall，Iporeoverbooksofastronomyfromtheprisonlibrary，suchastheyallowcondemnedmentoread，andlearnthateventheheavensarepassingfluxes，vexedwithstar-

driftageastheearthisbythedriftsofmen。

Equippedwiththismodernknowledge，Ihave，returningthroughthelittledeathfrommyearlierlives，beenabletocomparetheheavensthenandnow。Andthestarsdochange。Ihaveseenpolestarsandpolestarsanddynastiesofpolestars。Thepolestarto-dayisinUrsaMinor。Yet，inthosefardaysIhaveseenthepolestarinDraco，inHercules，inVega，inCygnus，andinCepheus。No；noteventhestarsabide，andyetthememoryandtheknowledgeofthemabidesinme，inthespiritofmethatismemoryandthatiseternal。Onlyspiritabides。Allelse，beingmerematter，passes，andmustpass。

Oh，Idoseemyselfto-daythatonemanwhoappearedintheelderworld，blonde，ferocious，akillerandalover，ameat-eaterandaroot-digger，agypsyandarobber，who，clubinhand，throughmillenniumsofyearswanderedtheworldaroundseekingmeattodevourandshelterednestsforhisyounglingsandsucklings。

Iamthatman，thesumofhim，theallofhim，thehairlessbipedwhostruggledupwardfromtheslimeandcreatedloveandlawoutoftheanarchyoffecundlifethatscreamedandsqualledinthejungle。

Iamallthatthatmanwasanddidbecome。Iseemyself，throughthepainfulgenerations，snaringandkillingthegameandthefish，clearingthefirstfieldsfromtheforest，makingrudetoolsofstoneandbone，buildinghousesofwood，thatchingtheroofswithleavesandstraw，domesticatingthewildgrassesandmeadow-roots，fatheringthemtobecometheprogenitorsofriceandmilletandwheatandbarleyandallmannerofsucculentedibles，learningtoscratchthesoil，tosow，toreap，tostore，beatingoutthefibresofplantstospinintothreadandtoweaveintocloth，devisingsystemsofirrigation，workinginmetals，makingmarketsandtrade-

routes，buildingboats，andfoundingnavigation——ay，andorganizingvillagelife，weldingvillagestovillagestilltheybecametribes，weldingtribestogethertilltheybecamenations，everseekingthelawsofthings，evermakingthelawsofhumanssothathumansmightlivetogetherinamityandbyunitedeffortbeatdownanddestroyallmannerofcreeping，crawling，squallingthingsthatmightelsedestroythem。

Iwasthatmaninallhisbirthsandendeavours。Iamthatmanto-

day，waitingmyduedeathbythelawthatIhelpedtodevisemanyathousandyearsago，andbywhichIhavediedmanytimesbeforethis，manytimes。AndasIcontemplatethisvastpasthistoryofme，I

findseveralgreatandsplendidinfluences，and，chiefestofthese，theloveofwoman，man’sloveforthewomanofhiskind。Iseemyself，theoneman，thelover，alwaysthelover。Yes，alsowasI

thegreatfighter，butsomehowitseemstomeasIsithereandevenlybalanceitall，thatIwas，morethanaughtelse，thegreatlover。ItwasbecauseIlovedgreatlythatIwasthegreatfighter。

SometimesIthinkthatthestoryofmanisthestoryoftheloveofwoman。ThismemoryofallmypastthatIwritenowisthememoryofmyloveofwoman。Ever，inthetenthousandlivesandguises，I

lovedher。Ilovehernow。Mysleepisfraughtwithher；mywakingfancies，nomatterwhencetheystart，leadmealwaystoher。Thereisnoescapingher，thateternal，splendid，ever-resplendentfigureofwoman。

Oh，makenomistake。Iamnocallow，ardentyouth。Iamanelderlyman，brokeninhealthandbody，andsoontodie。Iamascientistandaphilosopher。I，asallthegenerationsofphilosophersbeforeme，knowwomanforwhatsheis——herweaknesses，andmeannesses，andimmodesties，andignobilities，herearth-boundfeet，andhereyesthathaveneverseenthestars。But——andtheeverlasting，irrefragablefactremains:HERFEETAREBEAUTIFUL，HEREYESARE

BEAUTIFUL，HERARMSANDBREASTSAREPARADISE，HERCHARMISPOTENT

BEYONDALLCHARMTHATHASEVERDAZZLEDMEN；AND，ASTHEPOLEWILLY-

NILLYDRAWSTHENEEDLE，JUSTSO，WILLY-NILLY，DOESSHEDRAWMEN。

Womanhasmademelaughatdeathanddistance，scornfatigueandsleep。Ihaveslainmen，manymen，forloveofwoman，orinwarmbloodhavebaptizedournuptialsorwashedawaythestainofherfavourtoanother。Ihavegonedowntodeathanddishonour，mybetrayalofmycomradesandofthestarsblackuponme，forwoman’ssake——formysake，rather，Idesiredherso。AndIhavelaininthebarley，sickwithyearningforher，justtoseeherpassandglutmyeyeswiththeswayingwonderofherandofherhair，blackwiththenight，orbrownorflaxen，orallgolden-dustywiththesun。

ForwomanISbeautiful……toman。Sheissweettohistongue，andfragranceinhisnostrils。Sheisfireinhisblood，andathunderoftrumpets；hervoiceisbeyondallmusicinhisears；andshecanshakehissoulthatelsestandssteadfastinthedraughtypresenceoftheTitansoftheLightandoftheDark。Andbeyondhisstar-gazing，inhisfar-imaginedheavens，Valkyrieorhouri，manhasfainmadeplaceforher，forhecouldseenoheavenwithouther。

Andthesword，inbattle，singing，singsnotsosweetasongasthewomansingstomanmerelybyherlaughinthemoonlight，orherlove-sobinthedark，orbyherswayingonherwayunderthesunwhileheliesdizzywithlonginginthegrass。

Ihavediedoflove。Ihavediedforlove，asyoushallsee。Inalittlewhiletheywilltakemeout，me，DarrellStanding，andmakemedie。Andthatdeathshallbeforlove。Oh，notlightlywasI

stirredwhenIslewProfessorHaskellinthelaboratoryattheUniversityofCalifornia。Hewasaman。Iwasaman。Andtherewasawomanbeautiful。Doyouunderstand？ShewasawomanandI

wasamanandalover，andalltheheredityoflovewasmineupfromtheblackandsquallingjungleerelovewasloveandmanwasman。

Oh，ay，itisnothingnew。Often，often，inthatlongpasthaveI

givenlifeandhonour，placeandpowerforlove。Manisdifferentfromwoman。Sheisclosetotheimmediateandknowsonlytheneedofinstantthings。Weknowhonouraboveherhonour，andpridebeyondherwildestguessofpride。Oureyesarefar-visionedforstar-gazing，whilehereyesseenofartherthanthesolidearthbeneathherfeet，thelover’sbreastuponherbreast，theinfantlustyinthehollowofherarm。Andyet，suchisouralchemycompoundedoftheages，womanworksmagicinourdreamsandinourveins，sothatmorethandreamsandfarvisionsandthebloodoflifeitselfiswomantous，who，asloverstrulysay，ismorethanalltheworld。Yetisthisjust，elsewouldmannotbeman，thefighterandtheconqueror，treadinghisredwayonthefaceofallotherandlesserlife——for，hadmannotbeenthelover，theroyallover，hecouldneverhavebecomethekinglyfighter。Wefightbest，anddiebest，andlivebest，forwhatwelove。

Iamthatoneman。Iseemyselfthemanyselvesthathavegoneintotheconstitutingofme。AndeverIseethewoman，themanywomen，whohavemademeandundoneme，whohavelovedmeandwhomIhaveloved。

Iremember，oh，longagowhenhumankindwasveryyoung，thatImademeasnareandapitwithapointedstakeupthrustinthemiddlethereof，forthetakingofSabre-Tooth。Sabre-Tooth，long-fangedandlong-haired，wasthechiefestperiltousofthesquattingplace，whocrouchedthroughthenightsoverourfiresandbydayincreasedthegrowingshell-bankbeneathusbytheclamsweduganddevouredfromthesaltmud-flatsbesideus。

AndwhentheroarandthesquallofSabre-Toothrouseduswherewesquattedbyourdyingembers，andIwaswildwithfarvisionoftheproofofthepitandthestake，itwasthewoman，armsaboutme，leg-twining，whofoughtwithmeandrestrainedmenottogooutthroughthedarktomydesire。Shewaspart-clad，forwarmthonly，inskinsofanimals，mangyandfireburnt，thatIhadslain；shewasswartanddirtywithcampsmoke，unwashedsincethespringrains，withnailsgnarledandbroken，andhandsthatwerecallousedlikefootpadsandweremorelikeclawsthanlikehands；buthereyeswereblueasthesummerskyis，asthedeepseais，andtherewasthatinhereyes，andinherclaspedarmsaboutme，andinherheartbeatingagainstmine，thatwithheldme……thoughthroughthedarkuntildawn，whileSabre-Toothsqualledhiswrathandhisagony，IcouldhearmycomradessnickeringandsnigglingtotheirwomeninthatI

hadnotthefaithinmyempriseandinventiontoventurethroughthenighttothepitandthestakeIhaddevisedfortheundoingofSabre-Tooth。Butmywoman，mysavagemateheldme，savagethatI

was，andhereyesdrewme，andherarmschainedme，andhertwininglegsandheartbeatingtomineseducedmefrommyfardreamofthings，myman’sachievement，thegoalbeyondgoals，thetakingandtheslayingofSabre-Toothonthestakeinthepit。

OnceIwanUshu，thearcher。Irememberitwell。ForIwaslostfrommyownpeople，throughthegreatforest，tillIemergedontheflatlandsandgrasslands，andwastakeninbyastrangepeople，kininthattheirskinwaswhite，theirhairyellow，theirspeechnottooremotefrommine。AndshewasIgar，andIdrewherasI

sanginthetwilight，forshewasdestinedarace-mother，andshewasbroad-builtandfull-dugged，andshecouldnotbutdrawtothemanheavy-muscled，deep-chested，whosangofhisprowessinman-

slayingandinmeat-getting，andso，promisedfoodandprotectiontoherinherweaknesswhilstshemotheredtheseedthatwastohuntthemeatandliveafterher。

Andthesepeopleknewnotthewisdomofmypeople，inthattheysnaredandpittedtheirmeatandinbattleusedclubsandstonethrowing-sticksandwereunawareofthevirtuesofarrowsswift-

flying，notchedontheendtofitthethongofdeer-sinew，well-

twisted，thatsprangintostraightnesswhenreleasedtothespringoftheask-stickbentinthemiddle。

AndwhileIsang，thestrangermenlaughedinthetwilight。Andonlyshe，Igar，believedandhadfaithinme。Itookheralonetothehunting，wherethedeersoughtthewater-hole。Andmybowtwangedandsanginthecovert，andthedeerfellfast-stricken，andthewarmmeatwassweettous，andshewasminetherebythewater-

hole。

AndbecauseofIgarIremainedwiththestrangemen。AndItaughtthemthemakingofbowsfromtheredandsweet-smellingwoodlikeuntocedar。AndItaughtthemtokeepbotheyesopen，andtoaimwiththelefteye，andtomakebluntshaftsforsmallgame，andprongedshaftsofboneforthefishintheclearwater，andtoflakearrow-headsfromobsidianforthedeerandthewildhorse，theelkandoldSabre-Tooth。Buttheflakingofstonetheylaughedat，tillIshotanelkthroughandthrough，theflakedstonestandingoutandbeyond，thefeatheredshaftsunkinitsvitals，thewholetribeapplauding。

IwasUshu，thearcher，andIgarwasmywomanandmate。Welaughedunderthesuninthemorning，whenourman-childandwoman-child，yellowedlikehoney-bees，sprawledandrolledinthemustard，andatnightshelaycloseinmyarms，andlovedme，andurgedme，becauseofmyskillattheseasoningofwoodsandtheflakingofarrow-

heads，thatIshouldstayclosebythecampandlettheothermenbringtomethemeatfromtheperilsofhunting。AndIlistened，andgrewfatandshort-breathed，andinthelongnights，unsleeping，worriedthatthemenofthestrangertribebroughtmemeatformywisdomandhonour，butlaughedatmyfatnessandundesireforthehuntingandfighting。

Andinmyoldage，whenoursonswereman-grownandourdaughtersweremothers，whenupfromthesouthlandthedarkmen，flat-browed，kinky-headed，surgedlikewavesoftheseauponusandwefledbackbeforethemtothehill-slopes，Igar，likemymatesfarbeforeandlongafter，leg-twining，arm-clasping，unseeingfarvisions，strovetoholdmealooffromthebattle。

AndItoremyselffromher，fatandshort-breathed，whilesheweptthatnolongerIlovedher，andIwentouttothenight-fightinganddawn-fighting，where，tothesingingofbowstringsandtheshrillingofarrows，feathered，sharp-pointed，weshowedthem，thekinky-

heads，theskillofthekillingandtaughtthemthewitandthewillingofslaughter。

AndasIdiedthemattheendofthefighting，thereweredeathsongsandsingingaboutme，andthesongsseemedtosingasthesethewordsIhavewrittenwhenIwasUshu，thearcher，andIgar，mymate-woman，leg-twining，arm-clasping，wouldhaveheldmebackfromthebattle。

Once，andheavenaloneknowswhen，savethatitwasinthelongagowhenmanwasyoung，welivedbesidegreatswamps，wherethehillsdrewdownclosetothewide，sluggishriver，andwhereourwomengatheredberriesandroots，andtherewereherdsofdeer，ofwildhorses，ofantelope，andofelk，thatwemenslewwitharrowsortrappedinthepitsorhill-pockets。Fromtheriverwecaughtfishinnetstwistedbythewomenofthebarkofyoungtrees。

Iwasaman，eagerandcuriousastheantelopewhenwelureditbywavinggrassclumpswherewelayhiddeninthethickofthegrass。

Thewildricegrewintheswamp，risingsheerfromthewaterontheedgesofthechannels。Eachmorningtheblackbirdsawokeuswiththeirchatterastheylefttheirrooststoflytotheswamp。Andthroughthelongtwilighttheairwasfilledwiththeirnoiseastheywentbacktotheirroosts。Itwasthetimethatthericeripened。Andtherewereducksalso，andducksandblackbirdsfeastedtofatnessontheripericehalfunhuskedbythesun。

Beingaman，everrestless，everquesting，wonderingalwayswhatlaybeyondthehillsandbeyondtheswampsandinthemudattheriver’sbottom，IwatchedthewildducksandblackbirdsandponderedtillmyponderinggavemevisionandIsaw。AndthisiswhatIsaw，thereasoningofit:

Meatwasgoodtoeat。Intheend，tracingitback，oratthefirst，rather，allmeatcamefromgrass。Themeatoftheduckandoftheblackbirdcamefromtheseedoftheswamprice。Tokilladuckwithanarrowscarcepaidforthelabourofstalkingandthelonghoursinhiding。Theblackbirdsweretoosmallforarrow-killingsavebytheboyswhowerelearningandpreparingforthetakingoflargergame。Andyet，inriceseason，blackbirdsandducksweresucculentlyfat。Theirfatnesscamefromtherice。WhyshouldI

andminenotbefatfromthericeinthesameway？

AndIthoughtitoutincamp，silent，morose，whilethechildrensquabbledaboutmeunnoticed，andwhileArunga，mymate-woman，vainlyscoldedmeandurgedmetogohuntingformoremeatforthemanyofus。

ArungawasthewomanIhadstolenfromthehill-tribes。SheandI

hadbeenadozenmoonsinlearningcommonspeechafterIcapturedher。Ah，thatdaywhenIleapeduponher，downfromtheover-

hangingtree-branchasshepaddedtherunway！FairlyuponhershoulderswiththeweightofmybodyIsmoteher，myfingerswide-

spreadingtoclutchher。Shesqualledlikeacatthereintherunway。Shefoughtmeandbitme。Thenailsofherhandswereliketheclawsofatree-catastheytoreatme。ButIheldherandmasteredher，andfortwodaysbeatherandforcedhertotravelwithmedownoutofthecanyonsoftheHill-Mentothegrasslandswheretheriverflowedthroughtherice-swampsandtheducksandtheblackbirdsfedfat。

Isawmyvisionwhenthericewasripe。IputArungainthebowofthefire-hollowedlogthatwasmostrudelyacanoe。Ibadeherpaddle。InthesternIspreadadeerskinshehadtanned。WithtwostoutsticksIbentthestalksoverthedeerskinandthreshedoutthegrainthatelsetheblackbirdswouldhaveeaten。AndwhenIhadworkedoutthewayofit，IgavethetwostoutstickstoArunga，andsatinthebowpaddlinganddirecting。

Inthepastwehadeatentherawriceinpassingandnotbeenpleasedwithit。Butnowweparcheditoverourfiresothatthegrainspuffedandexplodedinwhitenessandallthetribecamerunningtotaste。

AfterthatwebecameknownamongmenastheRice-EatersandastheSonsoftheRice。Andlong，longafter，whenweweredrivenbytheSonsoftheRiverfromtheswampsintotheuplands，wetooktheseedofthericewithusandplantedit。Welearnedtoselectthelargestgrainsfortheseed，sothatallthericewethereafteratewaslarger-grainedandpuffierintheparchingandtheboiling。

ButArunga。IhavesaidshesqualledandscratchedlikeacatwhenIstoleher。YetIrememberthetimewhenherownkinoftheHill-

Mencaughtmeandcarriedmeawayintothehills。Theywereherfather，hisbrother，andhertwoownblood-brothers。Butshewasmine，whohadlivedwithme。Andatnight，whereIlayboundlikeawildpigfortheslaying，andtheysleptwearybythefire，shecreptuponthemandbrainedthemwiththewar-clubthatwithmyhandsIhadfashioned。Andsheweptoverme，andloosedme，andfledwithme，backtothewidesluggishriverwheretheblackbirdsandwildducksfedinthericeswamps——forthiswasbeforethetimeofthecomingoftheSonsoftheRiver。

ForshewasArunga，theonewoman，theeternalwoman。Shehaslivedinalltimesandplaces。Shewillalwayslive。Sheisimmortal。

Once，inafarland，hernamewasRuth。AlsohashernamebeenIseult，andHelen，Pocahontas，andUnga。Andnostrangerman，fromstrangertribes，buthasfoundherandwillfindherinthetribesofalltheearth。

Iremembersomanywomenwhohavegoneintothebecomingoftheonewoman。TherewasthetimethatHar，mybrother，andI，sleepingandpursuinginturn，everhoundingthewildstallionthroughthedaytimeandnight，andinawidecirclethatmetwherethesleepingonelay，drovethestallionunrestingthroughhungerandthirsttothemeeknessofweakness，sothatintheendhecouldbutstandandtremblewhileweboundhimwithropestwistedofdeer-hide。Onourlegsalone，withouthardship，aidedmerelybywit——theplanwasmine——mybrotherandIwalkedthatfleet-footedcreatureintopossession。

Andwhenallwasreadyformetogetonhisback——forthathadbeenmyvisionfromthefirst——Selpa，mywoman，putherarmsaboutme，andraisedhervoiceandpersistedthatHar，andnotI，shouldride，forHarhadneitherwifenoryoungonesandcoulddiewithouthurt。

Also，intheendshewept，sothatIwasrapedofmyvision，anditwasHar，nakedandclinging，thatbestrodethestallionwhenhevaultedaway。

Itwassunset，andatimeofgreatwailing，whentheycarriedHarinfromthefarrockswheretheyfoundhim。Hisheadwasquitebroken，andlikehoneyfromafallenbee-treehisbrainsdrippedontheground。Hismotherstrewedwood-ashesonherheadandblackenedherface。Hisfathercutoffhalfthefingersofonehandintokenofsorrow。Andallthewomen，especiallytheyoungandunwedded，screamedevilnamesatme；andtheeldersshooktheirwiseheadsandmutteredandmumbledthatnottheirfathersnortheirfathers’

fathershadbetrayedsuchamadness。Horsemeatwasgoodtoeat；

youngcoltsweretendertooldteeth；andonlyafoolwouldcometoclosegrappleswithanywildhorsesavewhenanarrowhadpiercedit，orwhenitstruggledonthestakeinthemidstofthepit。

AndSelpascoldedmetosleep，andinthemorningwokemewithherchatter，everdeclaimingagainstmymadness，everpronouncingherclaimuponmeandtheclaimsofourchildren，tillintheendIgrewweary，andforsookmyfarvision，andsaidneveragainwouldIdreamofbestridingthewildhorsetoflyswiftasitsfeetandthewindacrossthesandsandthegrasslands。

Andthroughtheyearsthetaleofmymadnessneverceasedfrombeingtoldoverthecamp-fire。Yetwastheverytellingthesourceofmyvengeance；forthedreamdidnotdie，andtheyoungones，listeningtothelaughandthesneer，redreamedit，sothatintheenditwasOthar，myeldest-born，himselfasheerstripling，thatwalkeddownawildstallion，leaptonitsback，andflewbeforeallofuswiththespeedofthewind。Thereafter，thattheymightkeepupwithhim，allmenweretrappingandbreakingwildhorses。Manyhorseswerebroken，andsomemen，butIlivedatthelasttothedaywhen，atthechangingofcamp-sitesinthepursuitofthemeatinitsseasons，ourverybabes，inbasketsofwillow-withes，wereslungsideandsideonthebacksofourhorsesthatcarriedourcamp-

trappageanddunnage。

I，ayoungman，hadseenmyvision，dreamedmydream；Selpa，thewoman，hadheldmefromthatfardesire；butOthar，theseedofustoliveafter，glimpsedmyvisionandwontoit，sothatourtribebecamewealthyinthegainsofthechase。

Therewasawoman——onthegreatdriftdownoutofEurope，awearydriftofmanygenerations，whenwebroughtintoIndiatheshorthorncattleandtheplantingofbarley。ButthiswomanwaslongbeforewereachedIndia。Wewerestillinthemid-mostofthatcenturies-

longdrift，andnoshrewdnessofgeographycannowplaceformethatancientvalley。

ThewomanwasNuhila。Thevalleywasnarrow，notlong，andtheswiftslopeofitsfloorandthesteepwallsofitsrimwereterracedforthegrowingofriceandofmillet——thefirstriceandmilletweSonsoftheMountainhadknown。Theywereameekpeopleinthatvalley。Theyhadbecomesoftwiththefarmingoffatlandmadefatterbywater。Theirswasthefirstirrigationwehadseen，althoughwehadlittletimetomarktheirditchesandchannelsbywhichallthehillwatersflowedtothefieldstheyhadbuilded。Wehadlittletimetomark，forweSonsoftheMountain，whowerefew，wereinflightbeforetheSonsoftheSnub-Nose，whoweremany。WecalledthemtheNoseless，andtheycalledthemselvestheSonsoftheEagle。Buttheyweremany，andwefledbeforethemwithourshorthorncattle，ourgoats，andourbarleyseed，ourwomenandchildren。

WhiletheSnub-Nosesslewouryouthsattherear，weslewatourforethefolkofthevalleywhoopposedusandwereweak。Thevillagewasmud-builtandgrass-thatched；theencirclingwallwasofmud，butquitetall。Andwhenwehadslainthepeoplewhohadbuiltthewall，andshelteredwithinitourherdsandourwomenandchildren，westoodonthewallandshoutedinsulttotheSnub-Noses。

Forwehadfoundthemudgranariesfilledwithriceandmillet。Ourcattlecouldeatthethatches。Andthetimeoftherainswasathand，sothatweshouldnotwantforwater。

Itwasalongsiege。Neartothebeginning，wegatheredtogetherthewomen，andelders，andchildrenwehadnotslain，andforcedthemoutthroughthewalltheyhadbuilded。ButtheSnub-Nosesslewthemtothelastone，sothattherewasmorefoodinthevillageforus，morefoodinthevalleyfortheSnub-Noses。

Itwasawearylongsiege。Sicknesssmoteus，andwediedoftheplaguethatarosefromourburiedones。Weemptiedthemud-

granariesoftheirriceandmillet。Ourgoatsandshorthornsatethethatchofthehouses，andwe，eretheend，atethegoatsandtheshorthorns。

Wheretherehadbeenfivemenofusonthewall，therecameatimewhentherewasone；wheretherehadbeenhalfathousandbabesandyounglingsofours，therewerenone。ItwasNuhila，mywoman，whocutoffherhairandtwisteditthatImighthaveastrongstringformybow。Theotherwomendidlikewise，andwhenthewallwasattacked，stoodshouldertoshoulderwithus，inthemidstofourspearsandarrowsrainingdownpotsherdsandcobblestonesontheheadsoftheSnub-Noses。

EventhepatientSnub-Noseswewell-nighout-patienced。Cameatimewhenoftenmenofus，butonewasaliveonthewall，andofourwomenremainedveryfew，andtheSnub-Nosesheldparley。Theytolduswewereastrongbreed，andthatourwomenweremen-mothers，andthatifwewouldletthemhaveourwomentheywouldleaveusaloneinthevalleytopossessforourselvesandthatwecouldgetwomenfromthevalleystothesouth。

AndNuhilasaidno。Andtheotherwomensaidno。AndwesneeredattheSnub-Nosesandaskediftheywerewearyoffighting。Andwewereasdeadmenthen，aswesneeredatourenemies，andtherewaslittlefightleftinusweweresoweak。Onemoreattackonthewallwouldendus。Weknewit。Ourwomenknewit。AndNuhilasaidthatwecouldenditfirstandoutwittheSnub-Noses。Andallourwomenagreed。AndwhiletheSnub-Nosespreparedfortheattackthatwouldbefinal，there，onthewall，weslewourwomen。Nuhilalovedme，andleanedtomeetthethrustofmysword，thereonthewall。

Andwemen，intheloveoftribehoodandtribesmen，slewoneanothertillremainedonlyHordaandIaliveintheredoftheslaughter。

AndHordawasmyelder，andIleanedtohisthrust。ButnotatoncedidIdie。IwasthelastoftheSonsoftheMountain，forIsawHorda，himselffallonhisbladeandpassquickly。AnddyingwiththeshoutsoftheoncomingSnub-Nosesgrowingdiminmyears，IwasgladthattheSnub-Noseswouldhavenosonsofustobringupbyourwomen。

IdonotknowwhenthistimewaswhenIwasaSonoftheMountainandwhenwediedinthenarrowvalleywherewehadslaintheSonsoftheRiceandtheMillet。Idonotknow，savethatitwascenturiesbeforethewide-spreadingdriftofallusSonsoftheMountainfetchedintoIndia，andthatitwaslongbeforeeverIwasanAryanmasterinOldEgyptbuildingmytwoburialplacesanddefacingthetombsofkingsbeforeme。

Ishouldliketotellmoreofthosefardays，buttimeinthepresentisshort。SoonIshallpass。YetamIsorrythatIcannottellmoreofthoseearlydrifts，whentherewascrushageofpeoples，ordescendingice-sheets，ormigrationsofmeat。

Also，IshouldliketotellofMystery。Foralwayswerewecurioustosolvethesecretsoflife，death，anddecay。Unliketheotheranimals，manwasforevergazingatthestars。Manygodshecreatedinhisownimageandintheimagesofhisfancy。InthoseoldtimesIhaveworshippedthesunandthedark。Ihaveworshippedthehuskedgrainastheparentoflife。IhaveworshippedSar，theCornGoddess。AndIhaveworshippedseagods，andrivergods，andfishgods。

Yes，andIrememberIshtarereshewasstolenfromusbytheBabylonians，andEa，too，wasours，supremeintheUnderWorld，whoenabledIshtartoconquerdeath。Mitra，likewise，wasagoodoldAryangod，erehewasfilchedfromusorwediscardedhim。AndI

remember，onatime，longafterthedriftwhenwebroughtthebarleyintoIndia，thatIcamedownintoIndia，ahorse-trader，withmanyservantsandalongcaravanatmyback，andthatatthattimetheywereworshippingBodhisatwa。

Truly，theworshipsoftheMysterywanderedasdidmen，andbetweenfilchingsandborrowingsthegodshadasvagabondatimeofitasdidwe。AstheSumerianstooktheloanofShamashnapishtinfromus，sodidtheSonsofShemtakehimfromtheSumeriansandcallhimNoah。

Why，Ismilemeto-day，DarrellStanding，inMurderers’Row，inthatIwasfoundguiltyandawardeddeathbytwelvejurymenstaunchandtrue。TwelvehaseverbeenamagicnumberoftheMystery。NordiditoriginatewiththetwelvetribesofIsrael。Star-gazersbeforethemhadplacedthetwelvesignsoftheZodiacinthesky。AndI

rememberme，whenIwasoftheAssir，andoftheVanir，thatOdinsatinjudgmentovermeninthecourtofthetwelvegods，andthattheirnameswereThor，Baldur，Niord，Frey，Tyr，Bregi，Heimdal，Hoder，Vidar，Ull，Forseti，andLoki。

EvenourValkyrieswerestolenfromusandmadeintoangels，andthewingsoftheValkyries’horsesbecameattachedtotheshouldersoftheangels。AndourHelheimofthatdayoficeandfrosthasbecomethehellofto-day，whichissohotanabodethatthebloodboilsinone’sveins，whilewithus，inourHelheim，theplacewassocoldastofreezethemarrowinsidethebones。Andtheverysky，thatwedreamedenduring，eternal，hasdriftedandveered，sothatwefindto-daythescorpionintheplacewhereofoldweknewthegoat，andthearcherintheplaceofthecrab。

Worshipsandworships！EverthepursuitoftheMystery！IrememberthelamegodoftheGreeks，themaster-smith。ButtheirvulcanwastheGermanicWieland，themaster-smithcapturedandhamstrunglameofalegbyNidung，thekindoftheNids。Butbeforethathewasourmaster-smith，ourforgerandhammerer，whomwenamedIl-marinen。

Andhimwebegatofourfancy，givinghimthebeardedsun-godforfather，andnursinghimbythestarsofthebear。For，he，Vulcan，orWieland，orIl-marinen，wasbornunderthepinetree，fromthehairofthewolf，andwascalledalsothebear-fatherereevertheGermansandGreekspurloinedandworshippedhim。InthatdaywecalledourselvestheSonsoftheBearandtheSonsoftheWolf，andthebearandthewolfwereourtotems。ThatwasbeforeourdriftsouthonwhichwejoinedwiththeSonsoftheTree-Groveandtaughtthemourtotemsandtales。

Yes，andwhowasKashyapa，whowasPururavas，butourlamemaster-

smith，ouriron-worker，carriedbyusinourdriftsandre-namedandworshippedbythesouth-dwellersandtheeast-dwellers，theSonsofthePoleandoftheFireDrillandFireSocket。

Butthetaleistoolong，thoughIshouldliketotellofthethree-

leavedHerbofLifebywhichSigmundmadeSinfiotialiveagain。Forthisistheverysoma-plantofIndia，theholygrailofKingArthur，the——butenough！enough！

Andyet，asIcalmlyconsideritall，Iconcludethatthegreatestthinginlife，inalllives，tomeandtoallmen，hasbeenwoman，iswoman，andwillbewomansolongasthestarsdriftintheskyandtheheavensfluxeternalchange。Greaterthanourtoilandendeavour，theplayofinventionandfancy，battleandstar-gazingandmystery——greatestofallhasbeenwoman。

Eventhoughshehassungfalsemusictome，andkeptmyfeetsolidontheground，anddrawnmystar-rovingeyeseverbacktogazeuponher，she，theconserveroflife，theearth-mother，hasgivenmemygreatdaysandnightsandfulnessofyears。EvenmysteryhaveI

imagedintheformofher，andinmystar-chartinghaveIplacedherfigureinthesky。

Allmytoilsanddevicesledtoher；allmyfarvisionssawherattheend。WhenImadethefire-drillandfire-socket，itwasforher。Itwasforher，althoughIdidnotknowit，thatIputthestakeinthepitforoldSabre-Tooth，tamedthehorse，slewthemammoth，andherdedmyreindeersouthinadvanceoftheice-sheet。

ForherIharvestedthewildrice，tamedthebarley，thewheat，andthecorn。

Forher，andtheseedtocomeafterwhoseimageshebore，Ihavediedintree-topsandstoodlongsiegesincave-mouthsandonmud-

walls。ForherIputthetwelvesignsinthesky。ItwassheI

worshippedwhenIbowedbeforethetenstonesofjadeandadoredthemasthemoonsofgestation。

Alwayshaswomancrouchedclosetoearthlikeapartridgehenmotheringheryoung；alwayshasmywantonnessofrovingledmeoutontheshiningways；andalwayshavemystar-pathsreturnedmetoher，thefigureeverlasting，thewoman，theonewoman，forwhosearmsIhadsuchneedthatclaspedinthemIhaveforgottenthestars。

ForherIaccomplishedOdysseys，scaledmountains，crosseddeserts；

forherIledthehuntandwasforwardinbattle；andforherandtoherIsangmysongsofthethingsIhaddone。Allecstasiesoflifeandrhapsodiesofdelighthavebeenminebecauseofher。Andhere，attheend，IcansaythatIhaveknownnosweeter，deepermadnessofbeingthantodrowninthefragrantgloryandforgetfulnessofherhair。

Onewordmore。IremembermeDorothy，justtheotherday，whenI

stilllecturedonagronomytofarmer-boystudents。Shewaselevenyearsold。Herfatherwasdeanofthecollege。Shewasawoman-

child，andawoman，andsheconceivedthatshelovedme。AndI

smiledtomyself，formyheartwasuntouchedandlayelsewhere。

Yetwasthesmiletender，forinthechild’seyesIsawthewomaneternal，thewomanofalltimesandappearances。InhereyesIsawtheeyesofmymateofthejungleandtree-top，ofthecaveandthesquatting-place。InhereyesIsawtheeyesofIgarwhenIwasUshuthearcher，theeyesofArungawhenIwastherice-harvester，theeyesofSelpawhenIdreamedofbestridingthestallion，theeyesofNuhilawholeanedtothethrustofmysword。Yes，therewasthatinhereyesthatmadethemtheeyesofLei-LeiwhomIleftwithalaughonmylips，theeyesoftheLadyOmforfortyyearsmybeggar-mateonhighwayandbyway，theeyesofPhilippaforwhomIwasslainonthegrassinoldFrance，theeyesofmymotherwhenIwastheladJesseattheMountainMeadowsinthecircleofourfortygreatwagons。

Shewasawoman-child，butshewasdaughterofallwomen，ashermotherbeforeher，andshewasthemotherofallwomentocomeafterher。ShewasSar，thecorn-goddess。ShewasIstharwhoconquereddeath。ShewasShebaandCleopatra；shewasEstherandHerodias。

ShewasMarytheMadonna，andMarytheMagdalene，andMarythesisterofMartha，alsoshewasMartha。AndshewasBrunnhildeandGuinevere，IseultandJuliet，HeloiseandNicolette。Yes，andshewasEve，shewasLilith，shewasAstarte。Shewaselevenyearsold，andshewasallwomenthathadbeen，allwomentobe。

Isitinmycellnow，whiletheflieshuminthedrowsysummerafternoon，andIknowthatmytimeisshort。Soontheywillapparelmeintheshirtwithoutacollar……Buthush，myheart。Thespiritisimmortal。AfterthedarkIshallliveagain，andtherewillbewomen。ThefutureholdsthelittlewomenformeinthelivesIamyettolive。Andthoughthestarsdrift，andtheheavenslie，everremainswoman，resplendent，eternal，theonewoman，asI，underallmymasqueradesandmisadventures，amtheoneman，hermate。

CHAPTERXXII

Mytimegrowsveryshort。AllthemanuscriptIhavewrittenissafelysmuggledoutoftheprison。ThereisamanIcantrustwhowillseethatitispublished。NolongeramIinMurderersRow。I

amwritingtheselinesinthedeathcell，andthedeath-watchissetonme。Nightanddayisthisdeath-watchonme，anditsparadoxicalfunctionistoseethatIdonotdie。Imustbekeptaliveforthehanging，orelsewillthepublicbecheated，thelawblackened，andamarkofdemeritplacedagainstthetime-servingwardenwhorunsthisprisonandoneofwhosedutiesistoseethathiscondemnedonesaredulyandproperlyhanged。OftenImarvelatthestrangewaysomemenmaketheirlivings。

Thisshallbemylastwriting。To-morrowmorningthehourisset。

Thegovernorhasdeclinedtopardonorreprieve，despitethefactthattheAnti-Capital-PunishmentLeaguehasraisedquiteastirinCalifornia。Thereportersaregatheredlikesomanybuzzards。I

haveseenthemall。Theyarequeeryoungfellows，mostofthem，andmostqueerisitthattheywillthusearnbreadandbutter，cocktailsandtobacco，room-rent，and，iftheyaremarried，shoesandschoolbooksfortheirchildren，bywitnessingtheexecutionofProfessorDarrellStanding，andbydescribingforthepublichowProfessorDarrellStandingdiedattheendofarope。Ah，well，theywillbesickerthanIattheendoftheaffair。

AsIsithereandmuseonitall，thefootfallsofthedeath-watchgoingupanddownoutsidemycage，theman’ssuspiciouseyeseverpeeringinonme，almostIwearyofeternalrecurrence。Ihavelivedsomanylives。Iwearyoftheendlessstruggleandpainandcatastrophethatcometothosewhositinthehighplaces，treadtheshiningways，andwanderamongthestars。

AlmostIhope，whennextIreinhabitform，thatitshallbethatofapeacefulfarmer。Thereismydream-farm。Ishouldliketoengagejustforonewholelifeinthat。Oh，mydream-farm！Myalfalfameadows，myefficientJerseycattle，myuplandpastures，mybrush-

coveredslopesmeltingintotilledfields，whileeverhigheruptheslopesmyangoragoatseatawaybrushtotillage！

Thereisabasinthere，anaturalbasinhighuptheslopes，withagenerouswatershedonthreesides。Ishouldliketothrowadamacrossthefourthside，whichissurprisinglynarrow。AtapaltrypriceoflabourIcouldimpoundtwentymilliongallonsofwater。

For，see:onegreatdrawbacktofarminginCaliforniaisourlongdrysummer。Thispreventsthegrowingofcovercrops，andthesensitivesoil，naked，ameresurfacedust-mulch，hasitshumusburnedoutofitbythesun。NowwiththatdamIcouldgrowthreecropsayear，observingduerotation，andbeabletoturnunderawealthofgreenmanure……

IhavejustenduredavisitfromtheWarden。Isay"endured"

advisedly。HeisquitedifferentfromtheWardenofSanQuentin。

Hewasverynervous，andperforceIhadtoentertainhim。Thisishisfirsthanging。Hetoldmeso。AndI，withaclumsyattemptatwit，didnotreassurehimwhenIexplainedthatitwasalsomyfirsthanging。Hewasunabletolaugh。Hehasagirlinhighschool，andhisboyisafreshmanatStanford。Hehasnoincomeoutsidehissalary，hiswifeisaninvalid，andheisworriedinthathehasbeenrejectedbythelifeinsurancedoctorsasanundesirablerisk。

Really，themantoldmealmostallhistroubles。HadInotdiplomaticallyterminatedtheinterviewhewouldstillbeheretellingmetheremainderofthem。

MylasttwoyearsinSanQuentinwereverygloomyanddepressing。

EdMorrell，byoneofthewildestfreaksofchance，wastakenoutofsolitaryandmadeheadtrustyofthewholeprison。ThiswasAlHutchins’oldjob，anditcarriedagraftofthreethousanddollarsayear。Tomymisfortune，JakeOppenheimer，whohadrottedinsolitaryforsomanyyears，turnedsourontheworld，oneverything。

Foreightmonthsherefusedtotalkeventome。

Inprison，newswilltravel。Giveittimeanditwillreachdungeonandsolitarycell。Itreachedme，atlast，thatCecilWinwood，thepoet-forger，thesnitcher，thecoward，andthestool，wasreturnedforafreshforgery。ItwillberememberedthatitwasthisCecilWinwoodwhoconcoctedthefairystorythatIhadchangedtheplantofthenon-existentdynamiteandwhowasresponsibleforthefiveyearsIhadthenspentinsolitary。

IdecidedtokillCecilWinwood。Yousee，Morrellwasgone，andOppenheimer，untiltheoutbreakthatfinishedhim，hadremainedinthesilence。Solitaryhadgrownmonotonousforme。Ihadtodosomething。SoIrememberedbacktothetimewhenIwasAdamStrangandpatientlynursedrevengeforfortyyears。WhathehaddoneI

coulddoifonceIlockedmyhandsonCecilWinwood’sthroat。

ItcannotbeexpectedofmetodivulgehowIcameintopossessionofthefourneedles。Theyweresmallcambricneedles。Emaciatedasmybodywas，Ihadtosawfourbars，eachintwoplaces，inordertomakeanaperturethroughwhichIcouldsquirm。Ididit。Iuseduponeneedletoeachbar。Thismeanttwocutstoabar，andittookamonthtoacut。ThusIshouldhavebeeneightmonthsincuttingmywayout。Unfortunately，Ibrokemylastneedleonthelastbar，andIhadtowaitthreemonthsbeforeIcouldgetanotherneedle。ButI

gotit，andIgotout。

IregretgreatlythatIdidnotgetCecilWinwood。Ihadcalculatedwelloneverythingsaveonething。ThecertainchancetofindWinwoodwouldbeinthedining-roomatdinnerhour。SoIwaiteduntilPie-FaceJones，thesleepyguard，shouldbeonshiftatthenoonhour。AtthattimeIwastheonlyinmateofsolitary，sothatPie-FaceJoneswasquicklysnoring。Iremovedmybars，squeezedout，stolepasthimalongtheward，openedthedoorandwasfree……toaportionoftheinsideoftheprison。

AndherewastheonethingIhadnotcalculatedon——myself。Ihadbeenfiveyearsinsolitary。Iwashideouslyweak。Iweighedeighty-sevenpounds。Iwashalfblind。AndIwasimmediatelystrickenwithagoraphobia。Iwasaffrightedbyspaciousness。Fiveyearsinnarrowwallshadunfittedmefortheenormousdeclivityofthestairway，forthevastitudeoftheprisonyard。

ThedescentofthatstairwayIconsiderthemostheroicexploitI

everaccomplished。Theyardwasdeserted。Theblindingsunblazeddownonit。ThriceIessayedtocrossit。ButmysensesreeledandIshrankbacktothewallforprotection。Again，summoningallmycourage，Iattemptedit。Butmypoorbleareyes，likeabat’s，startledmeatmyshadowontheflagstones。Iattemptedtoavoidmyownshadow，tripped，felloverit，andlikeadrowningmanstrugglingforshorecrawledbackonhandsandkneestothewall。

Ileanedagainstthewallandcried。ItwasthefirsttimeinmanyyearsthatIhadcried。Iremembernoting，eveninmyextremity，thewarmthofthetearsonmycheeksandthesalttastewhentheyreachedmylips。ThenIhadachill，andforatimeshookaswithanague。Abandoningtheopennessoftheyardastooimpossibleafeatforoneinmycondition，stillshakingwiththechill，crouchingclosetotheprotectingwall，myhandstouchingit，I

startedtoskirttheyard。

Thenitwas，somewherealong，thattheguardThurstonespiedme。I

sawhim，distortedbymyblearedeyes，ahuge，well-fedmonster，rushinguponmewithincrediblespeedoutoftheremotedistance。

Possibly，atthatmoment，hewastwentyfeetaway。Heweighedonehundredandseventypounds。Thestrugglebetweenuscanbeeasilyimagined，butsomewhereinthatbriefstruggleitwasclaimedthatI

struckhimonthenosewithmyfisttosuchpurposeastomakethatorganbleed。

Atanyrate，beingalifer，andthepenaltyinCaliforniaforbatterybyaliferbeingdeath，IwassofoundguiltybyajurywhichcouldnotignoretheasseverationsoftheguardThurstonandtherestoftheprisonhangdogsthattestified，andIwassosentencedbyajudgewhocouldnotignorethelawasspreadplainlyonthestatutebook。

IwaswellpummelledbyThurston，andallthewaybackupthatprodigiousstairwayIwasroundlykicked，punched，andcuffedbythehordeoftrustiesandguardswhogotinoneanother’swayintheirzealtoassisthim。Heavens，ifhisnosedidbleed，theprobabilityisthatsomeofhisownkindwereguiltyofcausingitintheconfusionofthescuffle。Ishouldn’tcareifIwereresponsibleforitmyself，savethatitissopitifulathingforwhichtohangaman……

Ihavejusthadatalkwiththemanonshiftofmydeath-watch。A

littlelessthanayearago，JakeOppenheimeroccupiedthissamedeath-cellontheroadtothegallowswhichIwilltreadto-morrow。

Thismanwasoneofthedeath-watchonJake。Heisanoldsoldier。

Hechewstobaccoconstantly，anduntidily，forhisgraybeardandmoustachearestainedyellow。Heisawidower，withfourteenlivingchildren，allmarried，andisthegrandfatherofthirty-onelivinggrandchildren，andthegreat-grandfatheroffouryounglings，allgirls。Itwaslikepullingteethtoextractsuchinformation。Heisaqueeroldcodger，ofaloworderofintelligence。Thatiswhy，Ifancy，hehaslivedsolongandfatheredsonumerousaprogeny。

Hismindmusthavecrystallizedthirtyyearsago。Hisideasarenoneofthemlaterthanthatvintage。Herarelysaysmorethanyesandnotome。Itisnotbecauseheissurly。Hehasnoideastoutter。Idon’tknow，whenIliveagain，butwhatoneincarnationsuchashiswouldbeanicevegetativeexistenceinwhichtorestupereIgostar-rovingagain……

Buttogoback。Imusttakealineinwhichtotell，afterIwashustledandbustled，kickedandpunched，upthatterriblestairwaybyThurstonandtherestoftheprison-dogs，oftheinfinitereliefofmynarrowcellwhenIfoundmyselfbackinsolitary。Itwasallsosafe，sosecure。Ifeltlikealostchildreturnedhomeagain。

IlovedthoseverywallsthatIhadsohatedforfiveyears。Allthatkeptthevastnessofspace，likeamonster，frompouncinguponmewerethosegoodstoutwallsofmine，closetohandoneveryside。

Agoraphobiaisaterribleaffliction。Ihavehadlittleopportunitytoexperienceit，butfromthatlittleIcanonlyconcludethathangingisafareasiermatter……

Ihavejusthadaheartylaugh。Theprisondoctor，alikablechap，hasjustbeenintohaveayarnwithme，incidentallytoproffermehisgoodofficesinthematterofdope。OfcourseIdeclinedhispropositionto"shootme"sofullofmorphinethroughthenightthatto-morrowIwouldnotknow，whenImarchedtothegallows，whetherI

was"comingorgoing。"

Butthelaugh。ItwasjustlikeJakeOppenheimer。Icanseetheleankeennessofthemanashestrungthereporterswithhisdeliberatebullwhichtheythoughtinvoluntary。Itseems，hislastmorning，breakfastfinished，incasedintheshirtwithoutacollar，thatthereporters，assembledforhislastwordinhiscell，askedhimforhisviewsoncapitalpunishment-

Whosayswehavemorethantheslightestveneerofcivilizationcoatedoverourrawsavagerywhenagroupoflivingmencanasksuchaquestionofamanabouttodieandwhomtheyaretoseedie？

ButJakewasevergame。"Gentlemen，"hesaid，"Ihopetolivetoseethedaywhencapitalpunishmentisabolished。"

Ihavelivedmanylivesthroughthelongages。Man，theindividual，hasmadenomoralprogressinthepasttenthousandyears。Iaffirmthisabsolutely。Thedifferencebetweenanunbrokencoltandthepatientdraught-horseispurelyadifferenceoftraining。Trainingistheonlymoraldifferencebetweenthemanofto-dayandthemanoftenthousandyearsago。Underhisthinskinofmoralitywhichhehashadpolishedontohim，heisthesamesavagethathewastenthousandyearsago。Moralityisasocialfund，anaccretionthroughthepainfulages。Thenew-bornchildwillbecomeasavageunlessitistrained，polished，bytheabstractmoralitythathasbeensolongaccumulating。

"Thoushaltnotkill"——piffle！Theyaregoingtokillmeto-morrowmorning。"Thoushaltnotkill"——piffle！Intheshipyardsofallcivilizedcountriestheyarelayingto-daythekeelsofDreadnoughtsandofSuperdreadnoughts。Dearfriends，Iwhoamabouttodie，saluteyouwith——"Piffle！"

Iaskyou，whatfinermoralityispreachedto-daythanwaspreachedbyChrist，byBuddha，bySocratesandPlato，byConfuciusandwhoeverwastheauthorofthe"Mahabharata"？GoodLord，fiftythousandyearsago，inourtotem-families，ourwomenwerecleaner，ourfamilyandgrouprelationsmorerigidlyright。

Imustsaythatthemoralitywepractisedinthoseolddayswasafinermoralitythanispractisedto-day。Don’tdismissthisthoughthastily。Thinkofourchildlabour，ofourpolicegraftandourpoliticalcorruption，ofourfoodadulterationandofourslaveryofthedaughtersofthepoor。WhenIwasaSonoftheMountainandaSonoftheBull，prostitutionhadnomeaning。Wewereclean，Itellyou。Wedidnotdreamsuchdepthsofdepravity。Yea，soareallthelesseranimalsofto-dayclean。Itrequiredman，withhisimagination，aidedbyhismasteryofmatter，toinventthedeadlysins。Thelesseranimals，theotheranimals，areincapableofsin。

Ireadhastilybackthroughthemanylivesofmanytimesandmanyplaces。Ihaveneverknowncrueltymoreterrible，norsoterrible，asthecrueltyofourprisonsystemofto-day。IhavetoldyouwhatIhaveenduredinthejacketandinsolitaryinthefirstdecadeofthistwentiethcenturyafterChrist。Intheolddayswepunisheddrasticallyandkilledquickly。Wediditbecausewesodesired，becauseofwhim，ifyousoplease。Butwewerenothypocrites。Wedidnotcalluponpress，andpulpit，anduniversitytosanctionusinourwilfulnessofsavagery。Whatwewantedtodowewentanddid，onourlegsupstanding，andwefacedallreproofandcensureonourlegsupstanding，anddidnothidebehindtheskirtsofclassicaleconomistsandbourgeoisphilosophers，norbehindtheskirtsofsubsidizedpreachers，professors，andeditors。

Why，goodnessme，ahundredyearsago，fiftyyearsago，fiveyearsago，intheseUnitedStates，assaultandbatterywasnotacivilcapitalcrime。Butthisyear，theyearofOurLord1913，intheStateofCalifornia，theyhangedJakeOppenheimerforsuchanoffence，andto-morrow，forthecivilcapitalcrimeofpunchingamanonthenose，theyaregoingtotakemeoutandhangme。Query:

Doesn’titrequirealongtimefortheapeandthetigertodiewhensuchstatutesarespreadonthestatutebookofCaliforniainthenineteen-hundred-and-thirteenthyearafterChrist？Lord，Lord，theyonlycrucifiedChrist。TheyhavedonefarworsetoJakeOppenheimerandme……

AsEdMorrelloncerappedtomewithhisknuckles:"Theworstpossibleuseyoucanputamantoistohanghim。"No，Ihavelittlerespectforcapitalpunishment。Notonlyisitadirtygame，degradingtothehangdogswhopersonallyperpetrateitforawage，butitisdegradingtothecommonwealththattoleratesit，votesforit，andpaysthetaxesforitsmaintenance。CapitalpunishmentissoSILLY，sostupid，sohorriblyunscientific。"Tobehangedbytheneckuntildead"issociety’squaintphraseology……

Morningiscome——mylastmorning。Isleptlikeababethroughoutthenight。Isleptsopeacefullythatoncethedeath-watchgotafright。HethoughtIhadsuffocatedmyselfinmyblankets。Thepoorman’salarmwaspitiful。Hisbreadandbutterwasatstake。

Hadittrulybeenso，itwouldhavemeantablackmarkagainsthim，perhapsdischargeandtheoutlookforanunemployedmanisbitterjustatpresent。TheytellmethatEuropebeganliquidatingtwoyearsago，andthatnowtheUnitedStateshasbegun。Thatmeanseitherabusinesscrisisoraquietpanicandthatthearmiesoftheunemployedwillbelargenextwinter，thebread-lineslong……

Ihavehadmybreakfast。Itseemedasillythingtodo，butIateitheartily。TheWardencamewithaquartofwhiskey。IpresentedittoMurderersRowwithmycompliments。TheWarden，poorman，isafraid，ifIbenotdrunk，thatIshallmakeamessofthefunctionandcastreflectiononhismanagement……

Theyhaveputonmetheshirtwithoutacollar……

ItseemsIamaveryimportantmanthisday。Quitealotofpeoplearesuddenlyinterestedinme……

Thedoctorhasjustgone。Hehastakenmypulse。Iaskedhimto。

Itisnormal……

Iwritetheserandomthoughts，and，asheetatatime，theystartontheirsecretwayoutbeyondthewalls……

Iamthecalmestmanintheprison。Iamlikeachildabouttostartonajourney。Iameagertobegone，curiousforthenewplacesIshallsee。Thisfearofthelesserdeathisridiculoustoonewhohasgoneintothedarksooftenandlivedagain……

TheWardenwithaquartofchampagne。IhavedispatcheditdownMurderersRow。Queer，isn’tit，thatIamsoconsideredthislastday。Itmustbethatthesemenwhoaretokillmearethemselvesafraidofdeath。ToquoteJakeOppenheimer:I，whoamabouttodie，mustseemtothemsomethingGod-awful……

EdMorrellhasjustsentwordintome。Theytellmehehaspacedupanddownallnightoutsidetheprisonwall。Beinganex-convict，theyhavered-tapedhimoutofseeingmetosaygood-bye。Savages？

Idon’tknow。Possiblyjustchildren。I’llwagermostofthemwillbeafraidtobealoneinthedarkto-nightafterstretchingmyneck。

ButEdMorrell’smessage:"Myhandisinyours，oldpal。Iknowyou’llswingoffgame。"……

Thereportershavejustleft。I’llseethemnext，andlasttime，fromthescaffold，erethehangmanhidesmyfaceintheblackcap。

Theywillbelookingcuriouslysick。Queeryoungfellows。Someshowthattheyhavebeendrinking。Twoorthreelooksickwithforeknowledgeofwhattheyhavetowitness。Itseemseasiertobehangedthantolookon……

Mylastlines。ItseemsIamdelayingtheprocession。Mycellisquitecrowdedwithofficialsanddignitaries。Theyareallnervous。

Theywantitover。Withoutadoubt，someofthemhavedinnerengagements。Iamreallyoffendingthembywritingthesefewwords。

Thepriesthasagainpreferredhisrequesttobewithmetotheend。

Thepoorman——whyshouldIdenyhimthatsolace？Ihaveconsented，andhenowappearsquitecheerful。Suchsmallthingsmakesomemenhappy！Icouldstopandlaughforaheartyfiveminutes，iftheywerenotinsuchahurry。

HereIclose。Icanonlyrepeatmyself。Thereisnodeath。Lifeisspirit，andspiritcannotdie。Onlythefleshdiesandpasses，evera-crawlwiththechemicfermentthatinformsit，everplastic，evercrystallizing，onlytomeltintothefluxandtocrystallizeintofreshanddiverseformsthatareephemeralandthatmeltbackintotheflux。Spiritaloneenduresandcontinuestobuilduponitselfthroughsuccessiveandendlessincarnationsasitworksupwardtowardthelight。WhatshallIbewhenIliveagain？I

wonder。Iwonder……

Footnotes:

{1}SincetheexecutionofProfessorDarrellStanding，atwhichtimethemanuscriptofhismemoirscameintoourhands，wehavewrittentoMr。HoseaSalsburty，CuratorofthePhiladelphiaMuseum，and，inreply，havereceivedconfirmationoftheexistenceoftheoarandthepamphlet——THEEDITOR。

End