第5章

Jacobmusthaveleakedsomeofhisbenevolentintentions，foranimmensepersonwithabaldfaceandamouththatlookedasifitoughttohavea“DropLettersHere“signoverithookedafingeraroundhimandsethiminaspacebetweenabarber”spoleandastackofashcans。Wordscameoutofthepost-officeslit——smooth，huskywordswithgloveson”em，butsoundingasiftheymightturntobareknucklesanymoment。

“Say，Sport，doyouknowwhereyouareat？Well，disisMikeO”Grady”sdistrictyou”rebuttin”into——see？Mike”sgotdestomach-

acheprivilegeforeverykidindisneighborhood——see？Andifdere”sanypicnicsorredballoonstobedealtouthere，Mike”smoneypaysfor”em——see？Don”tyoubuttin，orsomething”llbehandedtoyou。Yoused——settlersandreformerswithyoursocialologiesandyourmillionairedetectiveshavegotdisdistrictinahellofafix，anyhow。Withyourcollegestudentsandprofessorsrough-housingdesoda-waterstandsanddemrubber-neckcoachesfillin”destreets，defolksdownhereare”fraidtogooutofdehouses。Now，youleave”emtoMike。Deybelongstohim，andheknowshowtohandle”em。Keeponyourownsideofdetown。Areyousomewisernow，uncle，ordoyouwanttoscrapwit”MikeO”GradyfordeSantaClausbeltindisdistrict？“

Clearly，thatspotinthemoralvineyardwaspreempted。SoCaliphSpragginsmenacednomorethepeopleinthebazaarsoftheEastSide。Tokeepdownhisgrowingsurplushedoubledhisdonationstoorganizedcharity，presentedtheY。M。C。A。ofhisnativetownwitha$10，000collectionofbutterflies，andsentachecktothefaminesufferersinChinabigenoughtobuynewemeraldeyesanddiamond-filledteethforalltheirgods。Butnoneofthesecharitableactsseemedtobringpeacetothecaliph”sheart。Hetriedtogetapersonalnoteintohisbenefactionsbytippingbellboysandwaiters$10and$20bills。Hegotwellsnickeredatandderidedforthatbytheminionswhoacceptwithrespectgratuitiescommensuratetotheserviceperformed。Hesoughtoutanambitiousandtalentedbutpooryoungwoman，andboughtforherthestarpartinanewcomedy。Hemighthavegottenridof$50，000moreofhiscumbersomemoneyinthisphilanthropyifhehadnotneglectedtowriteletterstoher。Butshelostthesuitforlackofevidence，whilehiscapitalstillkeptpilingup，andhis_optikosneedleorumcamelibus_——orrichman”sdisease——wasunrelieved。

InCaliphSpraggins”s$3，000，000homelivedhissisterHenrietta，whousedtocookforthecoalminersinatwenty-five-centeatinghouseinCoketown，Pa。，andwhonowwouldhaveofferedJohnMitchellonlytwofingersofherhandtoshake。AndhisdaughterCelia，nineteen，backfromboarding-schoolandfrombeingpolishedoffbyprivateinstructorsintherestaurantlanguagesandthose”etudesandthings。

Celiaistheheroine。Lesttheartist”sdelineationofhercharmsonthisverypagehumbugyourfancy，takefrommeherauthorizeddescription。Shewasanice-looking，awkward，loud，ratherbashful，brown-hairedgirl，withasallowcomplexion，brighteyes，andaperpetualsmile。Shehadawholesome，Spraggins-inheritedloveforplainfood，looseclothing，andthesocietyofthelowerclasses。Shehadtoomuchhealthandyouthtofeeltheburdenofwealth。Shehadawidemouththatkeptthepeppermint-pepsintabletsrattlinglikehailfromtheslot-machinewherevershewent，andshecouldwhistlehornpipes。Keepthispictureinmind；andlettheartistdohisworst。

Celialookedoutofherwindowonedayandgaveherhearttothegrocer”syoungman。Thereceiverthereofwasatthatmomentengagedinconcedingimmortalitytohishorseandcallingdownuponhimtheultimatefateofthewicked；sohedidnotnoticethetransfer。Ahorseshouldstandstillwhenyouareliftingacrateofstrictlynew-laideggsoutofthewagon。

Youngladyreader，youwouldhavelikedthatgrocer”syoungmanyourself。Butyouwouldn”thavegivenhimyourheart，becauseyouaresavingitforariding-master，orashoe-manufacturerwithatorpidliver，orsomethingquietbutrichingraytweedsatPalmBeach。Oh，Iknowaboutit。SoIamgladthegrocer”syoungmanwasforCelia，andnotforyou。

Thegrocer”syoungmanwasslimandstraightandasconfidentandeasyinhismovementsasthemaninthebackofthemagazineswhowearsthenewfrictionlessrollersuspenders。Heworeagraybicyclecaponthebackofhishead，andhishairwasstraw-coloredandcurly，andhissunburnedfacelookedlikeonethatsmiledagooddealwhenhewasnotpreachingthedoctrineofeverlastingpunishmenttodelivery-wagonhorses。HeslungimportedA1fancygroceriesaboutasthoughtheywereonlythestuffhedeliveredatboarding-houses；andwhenhepickeduphiswhip，yourmindinstantlyrecalledMr。Tackttandhisairwiththebuttonlessfoils。

Tradesmendeliveredtheirgoodsatasidegateattherearofthehouse。Thegrocer”swagoncameaboutteninthemorning。

ForthreedaysCeliawatchedthedriverwhenhecame，findingsomethingneweachtimetoadmireintheloftyandalmostcontemptuouswayhehadoftossingaroundthechoicestgiftsofPomona，Ceres，andthecanningfactories。ThensheconsultedAnnette。

Tobeexplicit，AnnetteMcCorkle，thesecondhousemaidwhodeservesaparagraphherself。AnnetteFletcherizedlargenumbersofromanticnovelswhichsheobtainedatafreepubliclibrarybranch(donatedbyoneofthebiggestcaliphsinthebusiness)。

ShewasCelia”ssidekickerandchum，thoughAuntHenriettadidn”tknowit，youmayhazardabeanortwo。

“Oh，canary-birdseed！“exclaimedAnnette。“Ain”titacorkin”

situation？Youaheiress，andfallin”inlovewithhimonsight！

He”sasweetboy，too，andabovehisbusiness。Butheain”tsusceptiblelikethecommonrunofgrocer”sassistants。Heneverpaysnoattentiontome。”

“Hewilltome，“saidCelia。

“Riches”beganAnnette，unsheathingthenotunjustifiablefemininesting。

“Oh，you”renotsobeautiful，“saidCelia，withherwide，disarmingsmile。“NeitheramI；buthesha”n”tknowthatthere”sanymoneymixedupwithmylooks，suchastheyare。That”sfair。Now，I

wantyoutolendmeoneofyourcapsandanapron，Annette。”

“Oh，marshmallows！“criedAnnette。“Isee。Ain”titlovely？It”sjustlike”Lurline，theLeft-Handed；or，AButtonholeMaker”sWrongs。”I”llbethe”llturnouttobeacount。”

Therewasalonghallway(or“passageway，“astheycallitinthelandoftheColonels)withonesidelatticed，runningalongtherearofthehouse。Thegrocer”syoungmanwentthroughthistodeliverhisgoods。Onemorninghepassedagirlintherewithshiningeyes，sallowcomplexion，andwide，smilingmouth，wearingamaid”scapandapron。ButashewascumberedwithabasketofEarlyDrumheadlettuceandTrophytomatoesandthreebunchesofasparagusandsixbottlesofthemostexpensiveQueenolives，hesawnomorethanthatshewasoneofthemaids。

Butonhiswayouthecameupbehindher，andshewaswhistling“Fisher”sHornpipe“soloudlyandclearlythatallthepiccolosintheworldshouldhavedisjointedthemselvesandcreptintotheircasesforshame。

Thegrocer”syoungmanstoppedandpushedbackhiscapuntilithungonhiscollarbuttonbehind。

“That”souto”sight，Kid，“saidhe。

“MynameisCelia，ifyouplease，“saidthewhistler，dazzlinghimwithathree-inchsmile。

That”sallright。I”mThomasMcLeod。Whatpartofthehousedoyouworkin？“

“I”mthe——thesecondparlormaid。”

“Doyouknowthe”FallingWaters”？“

“No，“saidCelia，“wedon”tknowanybody。Wegotrichtooquick——thatis，Mr。Spragginsdid。”

“I”llmakeyouacquainted，“saidThomasMcLeod。“It”sastrathspey——

thefirstcousintoahornpipe。”

IfCelia”swhistlingputthepiccolosoutofcommission，ThomasMcLeod”ssurelymadethebiggestfluteshunttheirholes。Hecouldactuallywhistle_bass_。

WhenhestoppedCeliawasreadytojumpintohisdeliverywagonandridewithhimcleartotheendofthepierandontotheferry-

boatoftheCharonline。

“I”llbearoundto-morrowat10：15，“saidThomas，“withsomespinachandacaseofcarbonic。”

“I”llpracticethatwhat-you-may-call-it，“saidCelia。“Icanwhistleafinesecond。”

Theprocessesofcourtshiparepersonal，anddonotbelongtogeneralliterature。Theyshouldbechronicledindetailonlyinadvertisementsofirontonicsandinthesecretby-lawsoftheWoman”sAuxiliaryoftheAncientOrderoftheRatTrap。ButgenteelwritingmaycontainadescriptionofcertainstagesofitsprogresswithoutintrudingupontheprovinceoftheX-rayorofparkpolicemen。

AdaycamewhenThomasMcLeodandCelialingeredattheendofthelatticed“passage。”

“Sixteenaweekisn”tmuch，“saidThomas，lettinghiscaprestonhisshoulderblades。

Celialookedthroughthelattice-workandwhistledadeadmarch。

ShoppingwithAuntHenriettathedaybefore，shehadpaidthatmuchforadozenhandkerchiefs。

“MaybeI”llgetaraisenextmonth，“saidThomas。“I”llbearoundto-morrowatthesametimewithabagofflourandthelaundrysoap。”

“Allright，“saidCelia。“Annette”smarriedcousinpaysonly$20amonthforaflatintheBronx。”

NeverforamomentdidshecountontheSpragginsmoney。SheknewAuntHenrietta”sinvincibleprideofcasteandpa”smightinessasaColossusofcash，andsheunderstoodthatifshechoseThomassheandhergrocer”syoungmanmightgowhistleforaliving。

Anotherdaycame，ThomasviolatingthedignityofNabobAvenuewith“TheDevil”sDream，“whistledkeenlybetweenhisteeth。

“Raisedtoeighteenaweekyesterday，“hesaid。“BeenpricingflatsaroundMorningside。Youwanttostartuntyingthoseapronstringsandunpinningthatcap，oldgirl。”

“Oh，Tommy！“saidCelia，withherbroadestsmile。“Won”tthatbeenough？IgotBettytoshowmehowtomakeacottagepudding。I

guesswecouldcallitaflatpuddingifwewantedto。”

“Andtellnolie，“saidThomas。

“AndIcansweepandpolishanddust——ofcourse，aparlormaidlearnsthat。Andwecoldwhistleduetsofevenings。”

“Theoldmansaidhe”draisemetotwentyatChristmasifBryancouldn”tthinkofanyhardernametocallaRepublicanthana”postponer”“saidthegrocer”syoungman。

“Icansew，“saidCelia；“andIknowthatyoumustmakethegascompany”smanshowhisbadgewhenhecomestolookatthemeter；

andIknowhowtoputupquincejamandwindowcurtains。”

“Bully！you”reallright，Cele。Yes，Ibelievewecanpullitoffoneighteen。”

Ashewasjumpingintothewagonthesecondparlormaidbraveddiscoverybyrunningswiftlytothegate。

“And，oh，Tommy，Iforgot，“shecalled，softly。“IbelieveIcouldmakeyourneckties。”

“Forgetit，“saidThomasdecisively。

“Andanotherthing，“shecontinued。“Slicedcucumbersatnightwilldriveawaycockroaches。”

“Andsleep，too，youbet，“saidMr。McLeod。“Yes，IbelieveifI

haveadeliverytomakeontheWestSidethisafternoonI”lllookinatafurniturestoreIknowoverthere。”

ItwasjustasthewagondashedawaythatoldJacobSpragginsstruckthesideboardwithhisfistandmadethemysteriousremarkabouttenthousanddollarsthatyouperhapsremember。Whichjustifiesthereflectionthatsomestories，aswellaslife，andpuppiesthrownintowells，movearoundincircles。PainfullybutbrieflywemustshedlightonJacob”swords。

Thefoundationofhisfortunewasmadewhenhewastwenty。Apoorcoal-digger(everhearofarichone？)hadsavedadollarortwoandboughtasmalltractoflandonahillsideonwhichhetriedtoraisecorn。Notanubbin。Jacob，whosenosewasadivining-rod，toldhimtherewasaveinofcoalbeneath。heboughtthelandfromtheminerfor$125andsolditamonthafterwardfor$10，000。

Luckilytheminerhadenoughleftofhissalemoneytodrinkhimselfintoablackcoatopeningintheback，assoonasheheardthenews。

Andso，forfortyyearsafterward，wefindJacobilluminatedwiththesuddenthoughtthatifhecouldmakerestitutionofthissumofmoneytotheheirsorassignsoftheunluckyminer，respiteandNepenthemightbehis。

Andnowmustcomeswiftaction，forwehaveheresomefourthousandwordsandnotatearshedandneverapistol，joke，safe，norbottlecracked。

OldJacobhiredadozenprivatedetectivestofindtheheirs，ifanyexisted，oftheoldminer，HughMcLeod。

Getthepoint？OfcourseIknowaswellasyoudothatThomasisgoingtobetheheir。Imighthaveconcealedthename；butwhyalwaysholdbackyoumysterytilltheend？Isay，letitcomenearthemiddlesopeoplecanstopreadingthereiftheywantto。

Afterthedetectiveshadtrailedfalsecluesaboutthreethousanddollars——Imeanmiles——theycorneredThomasatthegroceryandgothisconfessionthatHughMcLeodhadbeenhisgrandfather，andthattherewerenootherheirs。TheyarrangedameetingforhimandoldJacobonemorninginoneoftheiroffices。

Jacoblikedtheyoungmanverymuch。Helikedthewayhelookedstraightathimwhenhetalked，andthewayhethrewhisbicyclecapoverthetopofarose-coloredvaseonthecentre-table。

TherewasaslightflawinJacob”ssystemofrestitution。Hedidnotconsiderthattheact，tobeperfect，shouldincludeconfession。

Soherepresentedhimselftobetheagentofthepurchaserofthelandwhohadsenthimtorefundthesalepricefortheeaseofhisconscience。

“Well，sir，“saidThomas，“thissoundstomelikeanillustratedpost-cardfromSouthBostonwith”We”rehavingagoodtimehere”

writtenonit。Idon”tknowthegame。Isthistenthousanddollarsmoney，ordoIhavetosavesomanycouponstogetit？“

OldJacobcountedouttohimtwentyfive-hundred-dollarbills。

Thatwasbetter，hethought，thanacheck。Thomasputthemthoughtfullyintohispocket。

“Grandfather”sbestthanks，“hesaid，“tothepartywhosendsit。”

Jacobtalkedon，askinghimabouthiswork，howhespenthisleisuretime，andwhathisambitionswere。ThemorehesawandheardofThomas，thebetterhelikedhim。HehadnotmetmanyyoungmeninBagdadsofrankandwholesome。

“Iwouldliketohaveyouvisitmyhouse，“hesaid。“Imighthelpyouininvestingorlayingoutyourmoney。Iamaverywealthyman。Ihaveadaughteraboutgrown，andIwouldlikeforyoutoknowher。TherearenotmanyyoungmenIwouldcaretohavecallonher。”

“I”mobliged，“saidThomas。“I”mnotmuchatmakingcalls。It”sgenerallythesideentranceformine。And，besides，I”mengagedtoagirlthathastheDelawarepeachcropkilledintheblossom。

She”saparlormaidinahousewhereIdelivergoods。Shewon”tbeworkingtheremuchlonger，though。Say，don”tforgettogiveyourfriendmygrandfather”sbestregards。You”llexcusemenow；mywagon”soutsidewithalotofgreenstuffthat”sgottobedelivered。

Seeyouagain，sir。”

AtelevenThomasdeliveredsomebunchesofparsleyandlettuceattheSpragginsmansion。Thomaswasonlytwenty-two；so，ashecameback，hetookoutthehandfuloffive-hundred-dollarbillsandwavedthemcarelessly。Annettetookapairofeyesasbigascreamedoniontothecook。

“Itoldyouhewasacount，“shesaid，afterrelating。“Heneverwouldcarryonwithme。”

“Butyousayheshowedmoney，“saidthecook。

“Hundredsofthousands，“saidAnnette。“Carriedaroundlooseinhispockets。Andheneverwouldlookatme。”

“Itwaspaidtometo-day，“ThomaswasexplainingtoCeliaoutside。

“Itcamefrommygrandfather”sestate。Say，Cele，what”stheuseofwaitingnow？I”mgoingtoquitthejobto-night。Whycan”twegetmarriednextweek？“

“Tommy，“saidCelia。“I”mnoparlormaid。I”vebeenfoolingyou。

I”mMissSpraggins——CeliaSpraggins。ThenewspaperssayI”llbeworthfortymilliondollarssomeday。”

Thomaspulledhiscapdownstraightonhisheadforthefirsttimesincewehaveknownhim。

“Isupposethen，“saidhe，“Isupposethenyou”llnotbemarryingmenextweek。Butyou_can_whistle。”

“No，“saidCelia，“I”llnotbemarryingyounextweek。Myfatherwouldneverletmemarryagrocer”sclerk。ButI”llmarryyouto-night，Tommy，ifyousayso。”

OldJacobSpragginscamehomeat9：30P。M。，inhismotorcar。

Themakeofityouwillhavetosurmisesorrowfully；Iamgivingyouunsubsidizedfiction；haditbeenastreetcarIcouldhavetoldyouitsvoltageandthenumberofwheelsithad。Jacobcalledforhisdaughter；hehadboughtarubynecklaceforher，andwantedtohearhersaywhatakind，thoughtful，dearolddadhewas。

Therewasabriefsearchinthehouseforher，andthencameAnnette，glowingwiththepureflameoftruthandloyaltywellmixedwithenvyandhistrionics。

“Oh，sir，“saidshe，wonderingifsheshouldkneel，“MissCelia”sjustthisminuterunningawayoutofthesidegatewithayoungmantobemarried。Icouldn”tstopher，sir。Theywentinacab。”

“Whatyoungman？“roaredoldJacob。

“Amillionaire，ifyouplease，sir——arichnoblemanindisguise。Hecarrieshismoneywithhim，andtheredpeppersandtheonionswasonlytoblindus，sir。Heneverdidseemtotaketome。”

Jacobrushedoutintimetocatchhiscar。Thechauffeurhadbeendelayedbytryingtolightacigaretteinthewind。

“Here，Gaston，orMike，orwhateveryoucallyourself，scootaroundthecornerquickerthanblazesandseeifyoucanseeacab。Ifyoudo，runitdown。”

Therewasacabinsightablockaway。Gaston，orMike，withhiseyeshalfshutandhismindonhiscigarette，pickedupthetrail，neatlycrowdedthecabtothecurbandpocketedit。

“Whatt”ellyoudoin”？“yelledthecabman。

“Pa！“shriekedCelia。

“Grandfather”sremorsefulfriend”sagent！“saidThomas。“Wonderwhat”sonhisconsciencenow。”

“Athousandthunders，“saidGaston，orMike。“Ihavenoothermatch。”

“Youngman，“saidoldJacob，severely，“howaboutthatparlormaidyouwereengagedto？“

AcoupleofyearsafterwardoldJacobwentintotheofficeofhisprivatesecretary。

“TheAmalgamatedMissionarySocietysolicitsacontributionof$30，000towardtheconversionoftheKoreans，“saidthesecretary。

“Pass”emup，“saidJacob。

“TheUniversityofPlumvillewritesthatitsyearlyendowmentfundof$50，000thatyoubestoweduponitispastdue。”

“Tell”emit”sbeencutout。”

“TheScientificSocietyofClamCove，LongIsland，asksfor$10，000tobuyalcoholtopreservespecimens。”

“Wastebasket。”

“TheSocietyforProvidingHealthfulRecreationforWorkingGirlswants$20，000fromyoutolayoutagolfcourse。”

“Tell”emtoseeanundertaker。”

“Cut”emallout，“wentonJacob。“I”vequitbeingagoodthing。I

needeverydollarIcanscrapeorsave。IwantyoutowritetothedirectorsofeverycompanythatI”minterestedinandrecommenda10percent。cutinsalaries。Andsay——InoticedhalfacakeofsoaplyinginacornerofthehallasIcamein。Iwantyoutospeaktothescrubwomanaboutwaste。I”vegotnomoneytothrowaway。Andsay——we”vegotvinegarprettywellinhand，haven”twe？”

“TheGlobeSpice&SeasonsCompany，“saidsecretary，“controlsthemarketatpresent。”

“Raisevinegartwocentsagallon。Notifyallourbranches。”

SuddenlyJacobSpraggin”splumpredfacerelaxedintoapulpygrin。Hewalkedovertothesecretary”sdeskandshowedasmallredmarkonhisthickforefinger。

“Bitit，“hesaid，“darnedifhedidn”t，andheain”thadthetooththreeweeks——JakyMcLeod，myCelia”skid。He”llbeworthahundredmillionsbythetimehe”stwenty-oneifIcanpileitupforhim。”

Ashewasleaving，oldJacobturnedatthedoor，andsaid：

“Bettermakethatvinegarraisethreecentsinsteadoftwo。I”llbebackinanhourandsigntheletters。”

ThetruehistoryoftheCaliphHarunAlRashidrelatesthattowardtheendofhisreignheweariedofphilanthropy，andcausedtobebeheadedallhisformerfavoritesandcompanionsofhis“ArabianNights“rambles。Happyareweinthesedaysofenlightenment，whentheonlydeathwarrantthecaliphscanserveonusisintheformofatradesman”sbill。

XVIII

THEGIRLANDTHEHABIT

HABIT——atendencyoraptitudeacquiredbycustomorfrequentrepitition。

Thecriticshaveassailedeverysourceofinspirationsaveone。

Tothatonewearedrivenforourmoraltheme。Whenwelevieduponthemastersofoldtheygleefullyduguptheparallelstoourcolumns。WhenwestrovetosetforthreallifetheyreproachedusfortryingtoimitateHenryGeorge，GeorgeWashington，WashingtonIrving，andIrvingBacheller。WewroteoftheWestandtheEast，andtheyaccusedusofbothJesseandHenryJames。Wewrotefromourheart——andtheysaidsomethingaboutadisorderedliver。WetookatextfromMatthewor——er-yes，Deuteronomy，butthepreacherswerehammeringawayattheinspirationideabeforewecouldgetintotype。So，driventothewall，wegoforoursubject-mattertothereliable，old，moral，unassailablevademecum——theunabridgeddictionary。

MissMerriamwascashieratHinkle”s。Hinkle”sisoneofthebigdowntownrestaurants。Itisinwhatthepaperscallthe“financialdistrict。”Eachdayfrom12o”clockto2Hinkle”swasfullofhungrycustomers——messengerboys，stenographers，brokers，ownersofminingstock，promoters，inventorswithpatentspending——andalsopeoplewithmoney。

ThecashiershipatHinkle”swasnosinecure。Hinkleeggedandtoastedandgriddle-cakedandcoffeedagoodmanycustomers；andhelunched(asgoodawordas“dined“)manymore。ItmightbesaidthatHinkle”sbreakfastcrowdwasacontingent，buthisluncheonpatronageamountedtoahorde。

MissMerriamsatonastoolatadeskinclosedonthreesidesbyastrong，highfencingofwovenbrasswire。Throughanarchedopeningatthebottomyouthrustyourwaiter”scheckandthemoney，whileyourheartwentpit-pat。

ForMissMerriamwaslovelyandcapable。Shecouldtake45centsoutofa$2billandrefuseanofferofmarriagebeforeyoucould——Next！——lostyourchance——pleasedon”tshove。Shecouldkeepcoolandcollectedwhileshecollectedyourcheck，giveyouthecorrectchange，winyourheart，indicatethetoothpickstand，andrateyoutoaquarterofacentbetterthanBradstreetcouldtoathousandinlesstimethanittakestopepperaneggwithoneofHinkle”scasters。

Thereisanoldanddignifiedallusiontothe“fiercelightthatbeatsuponathrone。”Thelightthatbeatsupontheyoungladycashier”scageisalsosomethingfierce。Theotherfellowisresponsiblefortheslang。

EverymalepatronofHinkle”s，fromA。D。T。boysuptothecurbstonebrokers，adoredMissMerriam。WhentheypaidtheircheckstheywooedherwitheverywileknowntoCupid”sart。

Betweenthemeshesofthebrassrailingwentsmiles，winks，compliments，tendervows，invitationstodinner，sighs，languishinglooksandmerrybanterthatwaswaftedpointedlybackbythegiftedMissMerriam。

Thereisnocoignofvantagemoreeffectivethanthepositionofyoungladycashier。Shesitsthere，easilyqueenofthecourtofcommerce；sheisduchessofdollarsanddevoirs，countessofcompliment；andcoin，leadingladyofloveandluncheon。YoutakefromherasmileandaCanadiandime，andyougoyourwayuncomplaining。Youcountthecheerywordortwothatshetossesyouasmiserscounttheirtreasures；andyoupocketthechangeforafiveuncomputed。Perhapsthebrass-boundinaccessibilitymultiplieshercharms——anyhow，sheisashirt-waistedangel，immaculate，trim，manicured，seductive，bright-eyed，ready，alert——

Psyche，Circe，andAteinone，separatingyoufromyourcirculatingmediumafteryoursirloinmedium。

TheyoungmenwhobrokebreadatHinkle”sneversettledwiththecashierwithoutanexchangeofbadinageandopencompliment。

Manyofthemwenttogreaterlengthsanddroppedpromissoryhintsoftheatreticketsandchocolate。Theolderspokeplainlyoforangeblossoms，generallywitheringthetentativepetalsbyafter-allusionstoHarlemflats。Onebroker，whohadbeensqueezedbycopperproposedtoMissMerriammoreregularlythanheate。

DuringabriskluncheonhourMissMerriam”sconversation，whileshetookmoneyforchecks，wouldrunsomethinglikethis：

“Goodmorning，Mr。Haskins——sir？——it”snatural，thankyou——don”tbequitesofresh……Hello，Johnny——ten，fifteen，twenty——chasealongnoworthey”lltakethelettersoffyourcap……Begpardon——countitagain，please——Oh，don”tmentionit……Vaudeville？——thanks；notonyourmovingpicture——IwastoseeCarterinHeddaGableronWednesdaynightwithMr。Simmons……”Scuseme，Ithoughtthatwasaquarter……Twenty-fiveandseventy-five”sadollar——gotthatham-and-cabbagehabityet。Isee，Billy……Whoareyouaddressing？——

say——you”llgetallthat”scomingtoyouinaminute……

Oh，fudge！Mr。Bassett——you”realwaysfooling——no——？Well，maybeI”llmarryyousomeday——three，fourandsixty-fiveisfive……

Kindlykeepthemremarkstoyourself，ifyouplease……Tencents？——”scuseme；thecheckcallsforseventy——well，maybeitisaoneinsteadofaseven……Oh，doyoulikeitthatway，Mr。Saunders？——

somepreferapomp；buttheysaythisCleodeMerodydoessuitrefinedfeatures……andtenisfifty……Hikealongthere，buddy；

don”ttakethisforaConeyIslandticketbooth……Huh？——why，Macy”s——don”titfitnice？Oh，no，itisn”ttoocool——theselight-

weightfabricsisallthegothisseason……Comeagain，please——

that”sthethirdtimeyou”vetriedto——what？——forgetit——thatleadquarterisanoldfriendofmine……Sixty-five？——musthavehadyoursalaryraised，Mr。Wilson……IseenyouonSixthAvenueTuesdayafternoon，Mr。DeForest——swell？——oh，my！——whoisshe？……

What”sthematterwithit？——why，thisain”tSouthAmerica……Yes，Ilikethemixedbest——Friday？——awfullysorry，butItakemyjiu-

jitsulessononFriday——Thursday，then……Thanks——that”ssixteentimesI”vebeentoldthatthismorning——IguessImustbebeautiful……Cutthatout，please——whodoyouthinkIam？……

Why，Mr。Westbrook——doyoureallythinkso？——theidea！——one——eightyandtwenty”sadollar——thankyoueversomuch，butIdon”tevergoautomobileridingwithgentlemen——youraunt？——well，that”sdifferent——perhaps……Pleasedon”tgetfresh——yourcheckwasfifteencents，Ibelieve——kindlystepasideandlet……Hello，Ben——comingaroundThursdayevening？——there”sagentlemangoingtosendaroundaboxofchocolates，and……fortyandsixtyisadollar，andoneistwo……”

AboutthemiddleofoneafternoonthedizzygoddessVertigo——whoseothernameisFortune——suddenlysmoteanold，wealthyandeccentricbankerwhilehewaswalkingpastHinkle”s，onhiswaytoastreetcar。Awealthyandeccentricbankerwhoridesinstreetcarsis——moveup，please；thereareothers。

ASamaritan，APharisee，amanandapolicemanwhowerefirstonthespotlifterBankerMcRamseyandcarriedhimintoHinkle”srestaurant。Whentheagedbutindestructiblebankeropenedhiseyeshesawabeautikfulvisionbendingoverhimwithapitiful，tendersmile，bathinghisforeheadwithbeefteaandchafinghishandswithsomethingfrapp”eoutofachafing-dish。Mr。McRamseysighed，lostavestbutton，gazedwithdeepgratitudeuponhisfairpreserveress，andthenrecoveredconsciousness。

TotheSeasideLibraryallwhoareanticipatingaromance！BankerMcRamseyhadanagedandrespectedwife，andhissentimentstowardMissMerriamwerefatherly。Hetalkedtoherforhalfanhourwithinterest——notthekindthatwentwithhistalksduringbusinesshours。ThenextdayhebroughtMrs。McRamseydowntoseeher。Theoldcouplewerechildless——theyhadonlyamarrieddaughterlivinginBrooklyn。

Tomakeashortstoryshorter，thebeautifulcashierwontheheartsofthegoodoldcouple。TheycametoHinkle”sagainandagain；

theyinvitedhertotheirold-fashionedbutsplendidhomeinoneoftheEastSeventies。MissMerriam”swinningloveliness，hersweetfranknessandimpulsivehearttookthembystorm。TheysaidahundredtimesthatMissMerriamremindedthemsomuchoftheirlostdaughter。TheBrooklynmatron，n”eeRamsey，hadthefigureofBuddhaandafaceliketheidealofanartphotographer。MissMerriamwasacombinationofcurves，smiles，roseleaves，pearls，satinandhair-tonicposters。Enoughofthefatuityofparents。

AmonthaftertheworthycouplebecameacquaintedwithMissMerriam，shestoodbeforeHinkleoneafternoonandresignedhercashiership。

“They”regoingtoadoptme，“shetoldthebereftrestaurateur。

“They”refunnyoldpeople，butregulardears。Andtheswellhometheyhavegot！Say，Hinkle，thereisn”tanyuseoftalking——I”monthe`alacartetowearbrowndudsandgogglesinawhizwagon，ormarryadukeatleast。Still，Isomehowhatetobreakoutoftheoldcage。I”vebeencashieringsolongIfeelfunnydoinganythingelse。

I”llmissjoshingthefellowsawfullywhentheylineuptopayforthebuckwheatsand。ButIcan”tletthischanceslide。Andthey”reawfullygood，Hinkle；IknowI”llhaveaswelltime。Youowemenine-sixty-twoandahalffortheweek。Cutoutthehalfifithurtsyou，Hinkle。”

Andtheydid。MissMerriambecameMissRosaMcRamsey。Andshegracedthetransition。Beautyisonlyskin-deep，butthenerveslieveryneartotheskin。Nerve——butjustherewillyouobligebyperusingagainthequotationwithwhichthisstorybegins？

TheMcRamseyspouredoutmoneylikedomesticchampagnetopolishtheiradoptedone。Milliners，dancingmastersandprivatetutorsgotit。Miss——er——McRamseywasgrateful，loving，andtriedtoforgetHinkle”s。TogiveamplecredittotheadaptabilityoftheAmericangirl，Hinkle”sdidfadefromhermemoryandspeechmostofthetime。

NoteveryonewillrememberwhentheEarlofHitesburycametoEastSeventy——Street，America。Hewasonlyafair-to-mediumearl，withoutdebts，andhecreatedlittleexcitement。ButyouwillsurelyremembertheeveningwhentheDaughtersofBenevolencehaledtheirbazaarintheW——f-A——aHotel。Foryouwerethere，andyouwroteanotetoFannieonthehotelpaper，andmailedit，justtoshowherthat——youdidnot？Verywell；thatwastheeveningthebabywassick，ofcourse。

AtthebazaartheMcRamseyswereprominent。MissMer——er——McRamseywasexquisitelybeautiful。TheEarlofHitesburyhadbeenveryattentivetohersincehedroppedintohavealookatAmerica。

Atthecharitybazaartheaffairwassupposedtobegoingtobepulledofftoafinish。Anearlisasgoodasaduke。Better。

Hisstandingmaybelower，buthisoutstandingaccountsarealsolower。

Ourex-young-lady-cashierwasassignedtoabooth。Shewasexpectedtosellworthlessarticlestonobsandsnobsatexorbitantprices。TheproceedsofthebazaarweretobeusedforgivingthepoorchildrenoftheslumsaChristmasdin——Say！didyoueverwonderwheretheygettheother364？

MissMcRamsey——beautiful，palpitating，excited，charming，radiant——

flutteredaboutinherbooth。Animitationbrassnetwork，withalittlearchedopening，fencedherin。

AlongcametheEarl，assured，delicate，accurate，admiring——admiringgreatly，andfacedtheopenwicket。

“Youlookchawming，youknow——”ponmywordyoudo——mydeah，“hesaid，beguilingly。

“Cutthatjoshingout，“shesaid，coollyandbriskly。“Whodoyouthinkyouaretalkingto？Yourcheck，please。Oh，Lordy！”

Patronsofthebazaarbecameawareofacommotionandpressedaroundacertainbooth。TheEarlofHitesburystoodnearbypullingapaleblondandpuzzledwhisker。

“MissMcRamseyhasfainted，“someoneexplained。

XIX

PROOFOFTHEPUDDING

SpringwinkedavitreousopticatEditorWestbrookofthe_MinervaMagazine_，anddeflectedhimfromhiscourse。HehadlunchedinhisfavoritecornerofaBroadwayhotel，andwasreturningtohisofficewhenhisfeetbecameentangledinthelureofthevernalcoquette。WhichisbywayofsayingthatheturnedeastwardinTwenty-sixthStreet，safelyfordedthespringfreshetofvehiclesinFifthAvenue，andmeanderedalongthewalksofbuddingMadisonSquare。

Thelenientairandthesettingsofthelittleparkalmostformedapastoral；thecolormotifwasgreen——thepresidingshadeatthecreationofmanandvegetation。

Thecallowgrassbetweenthewalkswasthecolorofverdigris，apoisonousgreen，reminiscentofthehordeofderelicthumansthathadbreatheduponthesoilduringthesummerandautumn。Theburstingtreebudslookedstrangelyfamiliartothosewhohadbotanizedamongthegarnishingsofthefishcourseofaforty-centdinner。Theskyabovewasofthatpaleaquamarinetintthatballroompoetsrhymewith“true“and“Sue”and“coo。”Theonenaturalandfrankcolorvisiblewastheostensiblegreenofthenewlypaintedbenches——ashadebetweenthecolorofapickledcucumberandthatofalastyear”sfast-blackcravenetteraincoat。

But，tothecity-bredeyeofEditorWestbrook，thelandscapeappearedamasterpiece。

Andnow，whetheryouareofthosewhorushin，orofthegentleconcoursethatfearstotread，youmustfollowinabriefinvasionoftheeditor”smind。

EditorWestbrook”sspiritwascontentedandserene。TheAprilnumberofthe_Minerva_hadsolditsentireeditionbeforethetenthdayofthemonth——anewsdealerinKeokukhadwrittenthathecouldhavesoldfiftycopiesmoreifhehad”em。Theownersofthemagazinehadraisedhis(theeditor”s)salary；hehadjustinstalledinhishomeajewelofarecentlyimportedcookwhowasafraidofpolicemen；andthemorningpapershadpublishedinfullaspeechhehadmadeatapublishers”banquet。Alsotherewereechoinginhismindthejubilantnotesofasplendidsongthathischarmingyoungwifehadsungtohimbeforehelefthisup-townapartmentthatmorning。Shewastakingenthusiasticinterestinhermusicoflate，practisingearlyanddiligently。Whenhehadcomplimentedherontheimprovementinhervoiceshehadfairlyhuggedhimforjoyathispraise。Hefelt，too，thebenign，tonicmedicamentofthetrainednurse，Spring，trippingsoftlyadownthewardsoftheconvalescentcity。

WhileEditorWestbrookwassaunteringbetweentherowsofparkbenches(alreadyfillingwithvagrantsandtheguardiansoflawlesschildhood)hefelthissleevegraspedandheld。Suspectingthathewasabouttobepanhandled，heturnedacoldandunprofitableface，andsawthathiscaptorwas——Dawe——ShacklefordDawe，dingy，almostragged，thegenteelscracelyvisibleinhimthroughthedeeperlinesoftheshabby。

Whiletheeditorispullinghimselfoutofhissurprise，aflashlightbiographyofDaweisoffered。

Hewasafictionwriter，andoneofWestbrook”soldacquaintances。

Atonetimetheymighthavecalledeachotheroldfriends。Dawehadsomemoneyinthosedays，andlivedinadecentapartmenthousenearWestbrook”s。Thetwofamiliesoftenwenttotheatresanddinnerstogether。Mrs。DaweandMrs。Westbrookbecame“dearest“

friends。Thenonedayalittletentacleoftheoctopus，justtoamuseitself，ingurgitatedDawe”scapital，andhemovedtotheGramercyParkneighborhoodwhereone，forafewgroatsperweek，maysituponone”strunkundereight-branchedchandeliersandoppositeCarraramarblemantelsandwatchthemiceplayuponthefloor。Dawethoughttolivebywritingfiction。Nowandthenhesoldastory。HesubmittedmanytoWestbrook。The_Minerva_

printedoneortwoofthem；therestwerereturned。Westbrooksentacarefulandconscientiouspersonalletterwitheachrejectedmanuscript，pointingoutindetailhisreasonsforconsideringitunavailable。EditorWestbrookhadhisownclearconceptionofwhatconstitutedgoodfiction。SohadDawe。Mrs。Dawewasmainlyconcernedabouttheconstituentsofthescantydishesoffoodthatshemanagedtoscrapetogether。OnedayDawehadbeenspoutingtoherabouttheexcellenciesofcertainFrenchwriters。Atdinnertheysatdowntoadishthatahungryschoolboycouldhaveencompassedatagulp。Dawecommented。

“It”sMaupassanthash，“saidMrs。Dawe。“Itmaynotbeart，butI

dowishyouwoulddoafive-courseMarionCrawfordserialwithanEllaWheelerWilcoxsonnetfordessert。I”mhungry。”

AsfarasthisfromsuccesswasShacklefordDawewhenhepluckedEditorWestbrook”ssleeveinMadisonSquare。ThatwasthefirsttimetheeditorhadseenDaweinseveralmonths。

“Why，Shack，isthisyou？“saidWestbrook，somewhatawkwardly，fortheformofhisphraseseemedtotouchupontheother”schangedappearance。

“Sitdownforaminute，“saidDawe，tuggingathissleeve。“Thisismyoffice。Ican”tcometoyours，lookingasIdo。Oh，sitdown——youwon”tbedisgraced。Thosehalf-pluckedbirdsontheotherbencheswilltakeyouforaswellporch-climber。Theywon”tknowyouareonlyaneditor。”

“Smoke，Shack？“saidEditorWestbrook，sinkingcautiouslyuponthevirulentgreenbench。Healwaysyieldedgracefullywhenhedidyield。

Dawesnappedatthecigarasakingfisherdartsatasunperch，oragirlpecksatachocolatecream。

“Ihavejust”begantheeditor。

“Oh，Iknow；don”tfinish，“saidDawe。“Givemeamatch。Youhavejusttenminutestospare。Howdidyoumanagetogetpastmyoffice-boyandinvademysanctum？Therehegoesnow，throwinghisclubatadogthatcouldn”treadthe”KeepofftheGrass”

signs。”

“Howgoesthewriting？“askedtheeditor。

“Lookatme，“saidDawe，“foryouranswer。Nowdon”tputonthatembarrassed，friendly-but-honestlookandaskmewhyIdon”tgetajobasawineagentoracabdriver。I”minthefighttoafinish。

IknowIcanwritegoodfictionandI”llforceyoufellowstoadmitityet。I”llmakeyouchangethespellingof”regrets”to”c-h-e-q-u-e”beforeI”mdonewithyou。”

EditorWestbrookgazedthroughhisnose-glasseswithasweetlysorrowful，omniscient，sympathetic，skepticalexpression——thecopyrightedexpressionoftheeditorbeleaguredbytheunavailablecontributor。

“HaveyoureadthelaststoryIsentyou——”TheAlarumoftheSoul”？“

askedDawe。

“Carefully。Ihesitatedoverthatstory，Shack，reallyIdid。Ithadsomegoodpoints。Iwaswritingyoualettertosendwithitwhenitgoesbacktoyou。Iregret”

“Nevermindtheregrets，“saidDawe，grimly。“There”sneithersalvenorstingin”emanymore。WhatIwanttoknowis_why_。

Comenow；outwiththegoodpointsfirst。”

“Thestory，“saidWestbrook，deliberately，afterasuppressedsigh，“iswrittenaroundanalmostoriginalplot。Characterization——thebestyouhavedone。Construction——almostasgood，exceptforafewweakjointswhichmightbestrengthenedbyafewchangesandtouches。

Itwasagoodstory，except”

“IcanwriteEnglish，can”tI？“interruptedDawe。

“Ihavealwaystoldyou，“saidtheeditor，“thatyouhadastyle。”

“Thenthetroubleis”

“Sameoldthing，“saidEditorWestbrook。“Youworkuptoyourclimaxlikeanartist。Andthenyouturnyourselfintoaphotographer。Idon”tknowwhatformofobstinatemadnesspossessesyou，butthatiswhatyoudowitheverythingthatyouwrite。No，Iwillretractthecomparisonwiththephotographer。

Nowandthenphotography，inspiteofitsimpossibleperspective，managestorecordafleetingglimpseoftruth。Butyouspoileveryd”enouementbythoseflat，drab，obliteratingstrokesofyourbrushthatIhavesooftencomplainedof。Ifyouwouldrisetotheliterarypinnacleofyourdramaticsenses，andpainttheminthehighcolorsthatartrequires，thepostmanwouldleavefewerbulky，self-addressedenvelopesatyourdoor。”

“Oh，fiddlesandfootlights！“criedDawe，derisively。“You”vegotthatoldsawmilldramakinkinyourbrainyet。Whenthemanwiththeblackmustachekidnapsgolden-hairedBessieyouareboundtohavethemotherkneelandraiseherhandsinthespotlightandsay：”MayhighheavenwitnessthatIwillrestneithernightnordaytilltheheartlessvillainthathasstolenmechildfeelstheweightofanother”svengeance！”“

EditorWestbrookconcededasmileofimperviouscomplacency。

“Ithink，“saidhe，“thatinreallifethewomanwouldexpressherselfinthosewordsorinverysimilarones。”

“Notinasixhundrednights”runanywherebutonthestage，“saidDawehotly。“I”lltellyouwhatshe”dsayinreallife。She”dsay：”What！Bessieledawaybyastrangeman？GoodLord！It”sonetroubleafteranother！Getmyotherhat，Imusthurryaroundtothepolice-station。Whywasn”tsomebodylookingafterher，I”dliketoknow？ForGod”ssake，getoutofmywayorI”llnevergetready。

Notthathat——thebrownonewiththevelvetbows。Bessiemusthavebeencrazy；she”susuallyshyofstrangers。Isthattoomuchpowder？Lordy！HowI”mupset！”

“That”sthewayshe”dtalk，“continuedDawe。“Peopleinreallifedon”tflyintoheroicsandblankverseatemotionalcrises。Theysimplycan”tdoit。Iftheytalkatallonsuchoccasionstheydrawfromthesamevocabularythattheyuseeveryday，andmuddleuptheirwordsandideasalittlemore，that”sall。”

“Shack，“saidEditorWestbrookimpressively，“didyoueverpickupthemangledandlifelessformofachildfromunderthefenderofastreetcar，andcarryitinyourarmsandlayitdownbeforethedistractedmother？Didyoueverdothatandlistentothewordsofgriefanddespairastheyflowedspontaneouslyfromherlips？“

“Ineverdid，“saidDawe。“Didyou？“

“Well，no，“saidEditorWestbrook，withaslightfrown。“ButIcanwellimaginewhatshewouldsay。”

“SocanI，“saidDawe。

AndnowthefittingtimehadcomeforEditorWestbrooktoplaytheoracleandsilencehisopinionatedcontributor。Itwasnotforanunarrivedfictionisttodictatewordstobeutteredbytheheroesandheroinesofthe_MinervaMagazine_，contrarytothetheoriesoftheeditorthereof。

“MydearShack，“saidhe，“ifIknowanythingoflifeIknowthateverysudden，deepandtragicemotioninthehumanheartcallsforthanapposite，concordant，conformableandproportionateexpressionoffeeling。Howmuchofthisinevitableaccordbetweenexpressionandfeelingshouldbeattributedtonature，andhowmuchtotheinfluenceofart，itwouldbedifficulttosay。ThesublimelyterribleroarofthelionessthathasbeendeprivedofhercubsisdramaticallyasfarabovehercustomarywhineandpurrasthekinglyandtranscendentutterancesofLearareabovethelevelofhissenilevaporings。Butitisalsotruethatallmenandwomenhavewhatmaybecalledasub-consciousdramaticsensethatisawakenedbyasufficientlydeepandpowerfulemotion——asenseunconsciouslyacquiredfromliteratureandthestagethatpromptsthemtoexpressthoseemotionsinlanguagebefittingtheirimportanceandhistrionicvalue。”

“Andinthenameofthesevensacredsaddle-blanketsofSagittarius，wheredidthestageandliteraturegetthestunt？“askedDawe。

“Fromlife，“answeredtheeditor，triumphantly。

Thestorywriterrosefromthebenchandgesticulatedeloquentlybutdumbly。Hewasbeggaredforwordswithwhichtoformulateadequatelyhisdissent。

Onabenchnearbyafrowzyloaferopenedhisredeyesandperceivedthathismoralsupportwasdueadowntroddenbrother。

“Punchhimone，Jack，“hecalledhoarselytoDawe。“W”at”shecomemakin”anoiselikeapennyarcadeforamongstgen”lementhatcomesinthesquaretosetandthink？“

EditorWestbrooklookedathiswatchwithanaffectedshowofleisure。

“Tellme，“askedDawe，withtruculentanxiety，“whatespecialfaultsin”TheAlarumoftheSoul”causedyoutothrowitdown？“

“WhenGabrielMurray，“saidWestbrook，“goestohistelephoneandistoldthathisfianc”eehasbeenshotbyaburglar，hesays——Idonotrecalltheexactwords，but”

“Ido，“saidDawe。“Hesays：”DamnCentral；shealwayscutsmeoff。”

(Andthentohisfriend)”Say，Tommy，doesathirty-twobulletmakeabighole？It”skindofhardluck，ain”tit？Couldyougetmeadrinkfromthesideboard，Tommy？No；straight；nothingontheside。”“

“Andagain，“continuedtheeditor，withoutpausingforargument，“whenBereniceopenstheletterfromherhusbandinformingherthathehasfledwiththemanicuregirl，herwordsare——letmesee”

“Shesays，“interposedtheauthor：“”Well，whatdoyouthinkofthat！”“

“Absurdlyinappropriatewords，“saidWestbrook，“presentingananti-climax——plungingthestoryintohopelessbathos。Worseyet；

theymirrorlifefalsely。Nohumanbeingeverutteredbanalcolloquialismswhenconfrontedbysuddentragedy。”

“Wrong，“saidDawe，closinghisunshavenjawsdoggedly。“Isaynomanorwomaneverspouts”high-falutin”talkwhentheygoupagainstarealclimax。Theytalknaturallyandalittleworse。”

Theeditorrosefromthebenchwithhisairofindulgenceandinsideinformation。

“Say，Westbrook，“saidDawe，pinninghimbythelapel，“wouldyouhaveaccepted”TheAlarumoftheSoul”ifyouhadbelievedthattheactionsandwordsofthecharactersweretruetolifeinthepartsofthestorythatwediscussed？“

“ItisverylikelythatIwould，ifIbelievedthatway，“saidtheeditor。“ButIhaveexplainedtoyouthatIdonot。”

“IfIcouldprovetoyouthatIamright？“

“I”msorry，Shack，butI”mafraidIhaven”ttimetoargueanyfurtherjustnow。”

“Idon”twanttoargue，“saidDave。“Iwanttodemonstratetoyoufromlifeitselfthatmyviewisthecorrectone。”

“Howcouldyoudothat？“askedWestbrook，inasurprisedtone。

“Listen，“saidthewriter，seriously。“Ihavethoughtofaway。Itisimportanttomethatmytheoryoftrue-to-lifefictionberecognizedascorrectbythemagazines。I”vefoughtforitforthreeyears，andI”mdowntomylastdollar，withtwomonths”rentdue。”

“Ihaveappliedtheoppositeofyourtheory，“saidtheeditor，“inselectingthefictionforthe_MinervaMagazine_。Thecirculationhasgoneupfromninetythousandto”

“Fourhundredthousand，“saidDawe。“Whereasitshouldhavebeenboostedtoamillion。”

“Yousaidsomethingtomejustnowaboutdemonstratingyourpettheory。”

“Iwill。Ifyou”llgivemeabouthalfanhourofyourtimeI”llprovetoyouthatIamright。I”llproveitbyLouise。”

“Yourwife！“exclaimedWestbrook。“How？“

“Well，notexactlybyher，but_with_her，“saidDawe。“Now，youknowhowdevotedandlovingLousehasalwaysbeen。ShethinksI”mtheonlygenuinepreparationonthemarketthatbearstheolddoctor”ssignature。She”sbeenfonderandmorefaithfulthanever，sinceI”vebeencastfortheneglectedgeniuspart。”

“Indeed，sheisacharmingandadmirablelifecompanion，“agreedtheeditor。“IrememberwhatinseparablefriendssheandMrs。

Westbrookoncewere。Wearebothluckychaps，Shack，tohavesuchwives。YoumustbringMrs。Daweupsomeeveningsoon，andwe”llhaveoneofthoseinformalchafing-dishsuppersthatweusedtoenjoysomuch。”

“Later，“saidDawe。“WhenIgetanothershirt。AndnowI”lltellyoumyscheme。WhenIwasabouttoleavehomeafterbreakfast——

ifyoucancallteaandoatmealbreakfast——LouisetoldmeshewasgoingtovisitherauntinEighty-ninthStreet。Shesaidshewouldreturnatthreeo”clock。Sheisalwaysontimetoaminute。Itisnow”

Daweglancedtowardtheeditor”swatchpocket。

“Twenty-sevenminutestothree，“saidWestbrook，scanninghistime-piece。

“Wehavejustenoughtime，“saidDawe。“Wewillgotomyflatatonce。Iwillwriteanote，addressittoherandleaveitonthetablewhereshewillseeitassheentersthedoor。YouandIwillbeinthedining-roomconcealedbytheporti`eres。InthatnoteI”llsaythatIhavefledfromherforeverwithanaffinitywhounderstandstheneedofmyartisticsoulassheneverdid。Whenshereadsitwewillobserveheractionsandhearherwords。Thenwewillknowwhichtheoryisthecorrectone——yoursormine。”

“Oh，never！“exclaimedtheeditor，shakinghishead。“Thatwouldbeinexcusablycruel。IcouldnotconsenttohaveMrs。Dawe”sfeelingsplayeduponinsuchamanner。”

“Braceup，“saidthewriter。“IguessIthinkasmuchofherasyoudo。It”sforherbenefitaswellasmine。I”vegottogetamarketformystoriesinsomeway。Itwon”thurtLouise。She”shealthyandsound。Herheartgoesasstrongasaninety-eight-centwatch。It”lllastforonlyaminute，andthenI”llstepoutandexplaintoher。

Youreallyoweittometogivemethechance，Westbrook。”

EditorWestbrookatlengthyielded，thoughbuthalfwillingly。Andinthehalfofhimthatconsentedlurkedthevivisectionistthatisinallofus。Lethimwhohasnotusedthescalpelriseandstandinhisplace。Pity”tisthattherearenotenoughrabbitsandguinea-pigstogoaround。

ThetwoexperimentersinArtlefttheSquareandhurriedeastwardandthentothatsouthuntiltheyarrivedintheGramercyneighborhood。Withinitshighironrailingsthelittleparkhadputonitssmartcoatofvernalgreen，andwasadmiringitselfinitsfountainmirror。Outsidetherailingsthehollowsquareofcrumblinghouses，shellsofabygonegentry，leanedasifinghostlygossipovertheforgottendoingsofthevanishedquality。

_Sictransitgloriaurbis_。

AblockortwonorthofthePark，Dawesteeredtheeditoragaineastward，then，aftercoveringashortdistance，intoaloftybutnarrowflathouseburdenedwithafloridlyover-decoratedfa，cade。

Tothefifthstorytheytoiled，andDawe，panting，pushedhislatch-keyintothedoorofoneofthefrontflats。

WhenthedooropenedEditorWestbrooksaw，withfeelingsofpity，howmeanlyandmeagerlytheroomswerefurnished。

“Getachair，ifyoucanfindone，“saidDawe，“whileIhuntuppenandink。Hello，what”sthis？Here”sanotefromLouise。Shemusthaveleftittherewhenshewentoutthismorning。”

Hepickedupanenvelopethatlayonthecentre-tableandtoreitopen。Hebegantoreadtheletterthathedrewoutofit；andoncehavingbegunitaloudhesoreaditthroughtotheend。ThesearethewordsthatEditorWestbrookheard：

“DearShackleford：

“BythetimeyougetthisIwillbeaboutahundredmilesawayandstilla-going。I”vegotaplaceinthechorusoftheOccidentalOperaCo。，andwestartontheroadto-dayattwelveo”clock。I

didn”twanttostarvetodeath，andsoIdecidedtomakemyownliving。I”mnotcomingback。Mrs。Westbrookisgoingwithme。

Shesaidshewastiredoflivingwithacombinationphonograph，iceberganddictionary，andshe”snotcomingback，either。We”vebeenpractisingthesongsanddancesfortwomonthsonthequiet。

Ihopeyouwillbesuccessful，andgetalongallright！Good-bye。

“Louise。”

Dawedroppedtheletter，coveredhisfacewithhistremblinghands，andcriedoutinadeep，vibratingvoice：

_“MyGod，whyhastthougivenmethiscuptodrink？Sincesheisfalse，thenletThyHeaven”sfairestgifts，faithandlove，becomethejestingby-wordsoftraitorsandfiends！“_

EditorWestbrook”sglassesfelltothefloor。Thefingersofonehandfumbledwithabuttononhiscoatasheblurtedbetweenhispalelips：

_“Say，Shack，ain”tthatahellofanote？Wouldn”tthatknockyouoffyourperch，Shack？Ain”tithell，now，Shack——ain”tit？“_

XX

PASTONEATROONEY”S

OnlyonthelowerEastSideofNewYorkdothehousesofCapuletandMontagusurvive。Theretheydonotfightbythebookofarithmetic。Ifyoubutbiteyourthumbatanupholderofyouropposinghouseyouhaveworkcutoutforyoursteel。OnBroadwayyoumaydragyourmanalongadozenblocksbyhisnose，andhewillonlybawlforthewatch；butinthedomainoftheEastSideTybaltsandMercutiosyoumustobservethenicetiesofdeportmenttothewinkofanyeyelashandtoaninchofelbowroomatthebarwhenitspatronsincludefoesofyourhouseandkin。

So，whenEddieMcManus，knowntotheCapuletsasCorkMcManus，driftedintoDutchMike”sforasteinofbeer，andcameuponabunchofMontagusmakingmerrywiththesuds，hebegantoobservethestrictestparliamentaryrules。Courtesyforbadehisleavingthesaloonwithhisthirstunslaked；cautionsteeredhimtoaplaceatthebarwherethemirrorsuppliedthecognizanceoftheenemy”smovementsthathisindifferentgazeseemedtodisdain；

experiencewhisperedtohimthatthefingeroftroublewouldbebusyamongthechatteringsteinsatDutchMike”sthatnight。

ClosebyhissidedrewBrickCleary，hisMercutio，companionofhisperambulations。Thustheystood，fouroftheMulberryHillGangandtwofotheDryDockGang，mindingtheirP”sandQ”ssosolicitouslythatDutchMikekeptoneeyeonhiscustomersandtheotheronanopenspacebeneathhisbarinwhichitwashiscustomtoseeksafetywhenevertheominouspolitenessoftherivalassociationscongealedintotheshapesofbulletsandcoldsteel。

ButwehavenottodowiththewarsoftheMulberryHillsandtheDryDocks。WemusttoRooney”s，where，onthemostblighteddeadbranchofthetreeoflife，alittlepaleorchidshallbloom。

Overstrainedetiquetteatlastgaveway。Itisnotknownwhofirstoversteppedtheboundsofpunctilio；buttheconsequenceswereimmediate。BuckMalone，oftheMulberryHills，withaDewey-likeswiftness，gotaneight-inchgunswungroundfromhishurricanedeck。ButMcManus”ssimilemustbethetorpedo。HeglidedinunderthegunsandslippedascantthreeinchesofknifebladebetweentheribsoftheMulberryHillcruiser。MeanwhileBrickCleary，adevoteetostrategy，hadskimmedacrossthelunchcounterandthrowntheswitchoftheelectrics，leavingthecombattobewagedbythelightofgunfirealone。DutchMikecrawledfromhishavenandranintothestreetcryingforthewatchinsteadofforaShakespearetoimmortalizetheCimmerianshindy。

Thecopcame，andfoundaprostrate，bleedingMontagusupportedbythreedistraitandreticentfollowersoftheHouse。Faithfultotheethicsofthegangs，nooneknewwhencethehurtcame。TherewasnoCapulettobeseen。

“Rausmitderinterrogatories，“saidBuckMalonetotheofficer。

“SureIknowwhodoneit。Ialwaysmanagestogetabird”seyeviewofanyguythatcomesupan”makesashowcaseforahardwarestoreoutofme。No。I”mnottellingyouhisname。I”llsettlewithummeself。Wow——ouch！Easy，boys！Yes，I”llattendtohiscasemeself。I”mnotmakinganycomplaint。”

AtmidnightMcManusstrolledaroundapileoflumbernearanEastSidedock，andlingeredinthevicinityofacertainwaterplug。

BrickClearydriftedcasuallytothetrystingplacetenminuteslater。“He”llmaybenotcroak，“saidBrick；“andhewon”ttell，ofcourse。ButDutchMikedid。Hetoldthepolicehewastiredofhavinghisplaceshotup。It”sunhandyjustnow，becauseTimCorrigan”sinEuropeforaweek”sendwithKings。He”llbebackonthe_KaiserWilliams_nextFriday。You”llhavetoduckoutofsighttillthen。Tim”llfixitupallrightforuswhenhecomesback。”

ThisgoestoexplainwhyCorkMcManuswentintoRooney”sonenightandtherelookeduponthebright，strangerfaceofRomanceforthefirsttimeinhisprecariouscareer。

UntilTimCorriganshouldreturnfromhisjauntamongKingsandPrincesandholduphisbigwhitefingerinprivateoffices，itwasunsafeforCorkinanyoftheoldhauntsofhisgang。Sohelay，perdu，inthehighrearroomofaCapulet，readingpinksportingsheetsandcursingtheslowpaddlewheelsofthe_KaiserWilhelm_。

ItwasonThursdayeveningthatCork”sseclusionbecameintolerabletohim。Neverahartpantedforwaterfountainashedidforthecooltouchofadriftingstein，forthefirmsecurityofafoot-

railinthehollowofhisshoeandthequiet，heartychallengesoffriendshipandreparteealongandacrosstheshiningbars。Buthemustavoidthedistrictwherehewasknown。Thecopswerelookingforhimeverywhere，fornewswasscarce，andthenewspaperswereharpingagainonthefailureofthepolicetosuppressthegangs。IftheygothimbeforeCorrigancameback，thebigwhitefingercouldnotbeuplifted；itwouldbetoolatethen。ButCorriganwouldbehomethenextday，sohefeltsuretherewouldbesmalldangerinalittleexcursionthatnightamongthecrasspleasuresthatrepresentedlifetohim。

Athalf-pasttwelveMcManusstoodinadarkishcross-townstreetlookingupatthename“Rooney”s，“pickedoutbyincandescentlightsagainstasignboardoverasecond-storywindow。Hehadheardoftheplaceasatough“hang-out“；withitsfrequentersanditslocalityhewasunfamiliar。Guidedbycertainunerringindicationscommontoallsuchresorts，heascendedthestairsandenteredthelargeroomoverthecaf”e。

Hereweresometwentyorthirtytables，atthistimeabouthalf-

filledwithRooney”sguests。Waitersserveddrinks。Atoneendahumanpianolawithdruggedeyeshammeredthekeyswithautomaticandfuriousunprecision。Atmercifulintervalsawaiterwouldroarorsqueakasong——songsfullof“Mr。Jonsons“and“babes“

and“coons“——historicalwordguarantiesofthegenuinenessofAfricanmelodiescomposedbyredwaistcoatedyounggentlemen，nativesofthecottonfieldsandriceswampsofWestTwenty-

eighthStreet。

ForonebriefmomentyoumustadmireRooneywithmeashereceives，seats，manipulates，andchaffshisguests。Heistwenty-nine。HehasWellington”snose，Dante”schin，thecheek-bonesofanIroquois，thesmileofTalleyrand，Corbett”sfootwork，andtheposeofaneleven-year-oldEastSideCentralParkQueenoftheMay。HeisassistedbyalieutenantknownasFrank，apudgy，easychap，swell-dressed，whogoesamongthetablesseeingthatdullcaredoesnotintrude。Now，whatisthereaboutRooney”stoinspireallthispother？Itismorerespectablebydaylight；stoutladieswithchildrenandmittensandbundlesandunpedigreeddogsdropupofafternoonsforasteinandachat。Evenbygaslightthediversionsaremelancholyi”themouth——drinkandrag-time，andanoccasionalsurprisewhenthewaiterswabsthesudsfromunderyourstickyglass。Thereisananswer。Transmigration！ThesoulofSirWalterRaleighhastraveledfrombeneathhisslasheddoublettoakindredhomeunderRooney”svisibleplaidwaistcoat。

Rooney”sistwentyyearsaheadofthetimes。Rooneyhasremovedtheembargo。Rooneyhasspreadhiscloakuponthesoggycrossingofpublicopinion，andanyElizabethwhotreadsuponitisasmuchaqueenasanother。Attendtotherevelationofthesecret。InRooney”sladiesmaysmoke！

McManussatdownatavacanttable。Hepaidfortheglassofbeerthatheordered，tiltedhisnarrow-brimmedderbytothebackofhisbrick-dusthead，twinedhisfeetamongtherungsofhischair，andheavedasighofcontentmentfromthebreathingspacesofhisinnermostsoul；forthismudhoneywasclarifiedsweetnesstohistaste。Theshamgaiety，thehecticglowofcounterfeithospitality，theself-conscious，joylesslaughter，thewine-bornwarmth，theloudmusicretrievingthehourfromfrequentwhilesofawfulandcorrodingsilence，thepresenceofwell-clothedandfrank-eyedbeneficiariesofRooney”sremovaloftherestrictionslaidupontheweed，thefamiliarblendedodorsofsoakedlemonpeel，flatbeer，and_peaud”Espagne_——alltheseweremannatoCorkMcManus，hungryforhisweekinthedesertoftheCapulet”shighrearroom。

Agirl，alone，enteredRooney”s，glancedaroundwithleisurelyswiftness，andsatoppositeMcManusathistable。Hereyesresteduponhimfortwosecondsinthelookwithwhichwomanreconnoitresallmenwhomsheforthefirsttimeconfronts。Inthatspaceoftimeshewilldecideupononeoftwothings——eithertoscreamforthepolice，orthatshemaymarryhimlateron。

Herbriefinspectionconcluded，thegirllaidonthetableawornredmoroccoshoppingbagwiththeinevitabletop-gallantsailoffrayedlacehandkerchiefflyingfromacornerofit。Aftershehadorderedasmallbeerfromtheimmediatewaitershetookfromherbagaboxofcigarettesandlightedonewithslightlyexaggeratedeaseofmanner。ThenshelookedagainintheeyesofCorkMcManusandsmiled。

Instantlythedoomofeachwassealed。

TheunqualifieddesireofamantobuyclothesandbuildfiresforawomanforawholelifetimeatfirstsightofherisnotuncommonamongthathumbleportionofhumanitythatdoesnotcareforBradstreetorcoats-of-armsorShaw”splays。Loveatfirstsighthasoccurredatimeortwoinhighlife；but，asarule，theextemporemaniaistobefoundamongunsophisticatedcraturessuchasthedove，theblue-taileddingbat，andtheten-dollar-a-weekclerk。

Poets，subscriberstoallfictionmagazines，andschatchens，takenotice。

Withtheexchangeofthemysteriousmagneticcurrentcametoeachofthemtheinstantdesiretolie，pretend，dazzleanddeceive，whichistheworstthingaboutthehypocriticaldisorderknownaslove。

“Haveanotherbeer？“suggestedCork。Inhiscirclethephrasewasconsideredtobeacard，accompaniedbyaletterofintroductionandreferences。

“No，thanks，“saidthegirl，raisinghereyebrowsandchoosingherconventionalwordscarefully。“I——merelydroppedinfor——aslightrefreshment。”Thecigarettebetweenherfingersseemedtorequireexplanation。“MyauntisaRussianlady，“sheconcluded，“andweoftenhaveapostperannualcigaretteafterdinnerathome。”

“Cheeseit！“saidCork，whomsocietyairsoppressed。“Yourfingersareasyellowasmine。”

“Say，“saidthegirl，blazinguponhimwithlow-voicedindignation，“whatdoyouthinkIam？Say，whodoyouthinkyouaretalkingto？

What？“

Shewasprettytolookat。Hereyeswerebig，brown，intrepidandbright。Unerherflatsailorhat，plantedjauntilyononeside，hercrinkly，tawnyhairpartedandwasdrawnback。lowandmassy，inathick，pendantknotbehind。Theroundnessofgirlhoodstilllingeredinherchinandneck，buthercheeksandfingerswerethinningslightly。Shelookedupontheworldwithdefiance，suspicion，andsullenwonder。Hersmart，shorttancoatwassoiledandexpensive。Twoinchesbelowherblackdressdroppedthelowestflounceofaheliotropesilkunderskirt。

“Begyourpardon，“saidCork，lookingatheradmiringly。“Ididn”tmeananything。Sure，it”snoharmtosmoke，Maudy。”

“Rooney”s，“saidthegirl，softenedatoncebyhisamends，“istheonlyplaceIknowwherealadycansmoke。Maybeitain”tanicehabit，butauntyletsusathome。Andmynameain”tMaudy，ifyouplease；it”sRubyDelamere。”

“That”saswellhandle，“saidCorkapprovingly。“Mine”sMcManus——Cor——er——EddieMcManus。”

“Oh，youcan”thelpthat，“laughedRuby。“Don”tapologize。”

CorklookedseriouslyatthebigclockonRooney”swall。Thegirl”subiquitouseyestookinthemovement。

“Iknowit”slate，“shesaid，reachingforherbag；“butyouknowhowyouwantasmokewhenyouwantone。Ain”tRooney”sallright？

Ineversawanythingwronghere。ThisistwiceI”vebeenin。

IworkinabookbinderyonThirdAvenue。Alotofusgirlshavebeenworkingovertimethreenightsaweek。Theywon”tletyousmokethere，ofcourse。Ijustdroppedinhereonmywayhomeforapuff。Ain”titallrightinhere？Ifitain”t，Iwon”tcomeanymore。”

“It”salittlebitlateforyoutobeoutaloneanywhere，“saidCork。

“I”mnotwisetothisparticularjoint；butanyhowyoudon”twanttohaveyourpicturetakeninitforapresenttoyourSundaySchoolteacher。Haveonemorebeer，andthensayItakeyouhome。”

“ButIdon”tknowyou，“saidthegirl，withfinescrupulosity。“I

don”tacceptthecompanyofgentlemenIain”tacquaintedwith。Myauntneverwouldallowthat。”

“Why，“saidCorkMcManus，pullinghisear，“I”mthelatestthinginsuitingswithsideventsandbellskirtwhenitcomestoescortin”

alady。Youbetyou”llfindmeallright，Ruby。AndI”llgiveyouatipastowhoIam。Mygovernorisoneofthehottestcross-bunsoftheWallStreetpush。Morgan”scabhorsecastsashoeeverytimetheoldmanstickshisheadoutthewindow。Me！Well，I”mintrainin”downtheStreet。Theoldman”sgoin”toputaseatontheStockExchangeinmystockin”mynextbirthday。Butitallsoundslikealemontome。WhatIlikeisgolfandyachtin”and——er——well，sayacorkin”fastten-roundboutbetweenwelter-weightswithwalkin”gloves。”

“Iguessyoucanwalktothedoorwithme，“saidthegirlhesitatingly，butwithacertainpleasedflutter。“StillIneverheardanythingextragoodaboutWallStreetbrokers，orsportwhogotoprizefights，either。Ain”tyougotanyotherrecommendations？“

“Ithinkyou”retheswellestlookerI”vehadmylampsoninlittleoldNewYork，“saidCorkimpressively。

“That”llbeaboutenoughofthat，now。Ain”tyouthekidder！“

Shemodifiedherchidingwordsbyadeep，long，beaming，smile-

embellishedlookathercavalier。“We”lldrinkourbeerbeforewego，ha？“

Awaitersang。Thetobaccosmokegrewdenser，driftingandrisinginspirals，waves，tiltedlayers，cumulusclouds，cataractsandsuspendedfogslikesomefifthelementcreatedfromtheribsoftheancientfour。Laughterandchatgrewlouder，stimulatedbyRooney”sliquidsandRooney”sgallanthospitalitytoLadyNicotine。

Oneo”clockstruck。Down-stairstherewasasoundofclosingandlockingdoors。Frankpulleddownthegreenshadesofthefrontwindowscarefully。Rooneywentbelowinthedarkhallandstoodatthefrontdoor，hiscigarettecachedinthehollowofhishand。

ThenceforthwhoevermightseekadmittancemustpresentacountenancefamiliartoRooney”shawk”seye——thecountenanceofatruesport。

CorkMcManusandthebookbinderygirlconversedabsorbedly，withtheirelbowsonthetable。Theirglassesofbeerwerepushedtooneside，scarcelytouched，withthefoamonthemsunkentoathinwhitescum。SincethestrokeofonethestalepleasuresofRooney”shadbecomerenovatedandspiced；notbyanyadditiontothelistofdistractions，butbecausefromthatmomentthesweetsbecamestolenones。Theflattestglassofbeeracquiredthetangofillegality；themildestclaretpunchstruckaknockoutblowatlawandorder；theharmlessandgenialcompanybecameoutlaws，defyingauthorityandrule。ForafterthestrokeofoneinsuchplacesasRooney”s，whereneitherbednorboardistobehad，drinkmaynotbesetbeforethethirstyofthecityofthefourmillion。

Itisthelaw。

“Say，“saidCorkMcManus，almostcoveringthetablewithhiseloquentchestandelbows，“wasthatdeadstraightaboutyouworkin”inthebookbinderyandlivin”athome——andjusthappenin”

inhere——and——andallthatspielyougaveme？“

“Sureitwas，“answeredthegirlwithspirit。“Why，whatdoyouthink？DoyousupposeI”dlietoyou？Godowntotheshopandask”em。Ihandedittoyouonthelevel。”

“Onthedeadlevel？“saidCork。“That”sthewayIwantit；

because”

“Becausewhat？“

“Ithrowupmyhands，“saidCork。“You”vegotmegoin”。You”rethegirlI”vebeenlookin”for。Willyoukeepcompanywithme，Ruby？“

“Wouldyoulikemeto——Eddie？“

“Surestthing。ButIwantedastraightstoryabout——aboutyourself，youknow。Whenafellowhadagirl——asteadygirl——she”sgottobeallright，youknow。She”sgottobestraightgoods。”

“You”llfindI”llbestraightgoods，Eddie。”

“Ofcourseyouwill。Ibelievewhatyoutoldme。Butyoucan”tblamemeforwantin”tofindout。Youdon”tseemanygirlssmokin”

cigarettesinplaceslikeRooney”saftermidnightthatarelikeyou。”

Thegirlflushedalittleandloweredhereyes。“Iseethatnow，“shesaidmeekly。“Ididn”tknowhowbaditlooked。ButIwon”tdoitanymore。AndI”llgostraighthomeeverynightandstaythere。

AndI”llgiveupcigarettesifyousayso，Eddie——I”llcut”emoutfromthisminuteon。”

Cork”sairbecamejudicial，proprietary，condemnatory，yetsympathetic。

“Aladycansmoke，“hedecided，slowly，“attimesandplaces。Why？

Becauseit”sbein”aladythathelpsherpullitoff。”

“I”mgoingtoquit。There”snothingtoit，“saidthegirl。Sheflickedthestubofhercigarettetothefloor。

“Attimesandplaces，“repeatedCork。“WhenIcallroundforyouofevenin”swe”llhuntoutadarkbenchinStuyvesantSquareandhaveapuffortwo。ButnomoreRooney”satoneo”clock——see？“

“Eddie，doyoureallylikeme？“Thegirlsearchdhishardbutfrankfeatureseagerlywithanxiouseyes。

“Onthedeadlevel。”

“Whenareyoucomingtoseeme——whereIlive？“

“Thursday——dayafterto-morrowevenin”。Thatsuityou？“

“Fine。I”llbereadyforyou。Comeaboutseven。Walktothedoorwithmeto-nightandI”llshowyouwhereIlive。Don”tforget，now。

Anddon”tyougotoseeanyothergirlsbeforethen，mister！Ibetyouwill，though。”

“Onthedeadlevel，“saidCork，“youmake”emalllooklikerag-

dollstome。Honest，youdo。IknowwhenI”msuited。Onthedeadlevel，Ido。”

Againstthefrontdoordown-stairsrepeatedheavyblowsweredelivered。Theloudcrashesresoundedintheroomabove。Onlyatrip-hammerorapoliceman”sfootcouldhavebeentheauthorofthosesounds。Rooneyjumpedlikeabullfrogtoacorneroftheroom，turnedofftheelectriclightsandhurriedswiftlybelow。

Theroomwasleftutterlydarkexceptforthewinkingredglowofcigarsandcigarettes。Asecondvolleyofcrashescameupfromtheassaulteddoor。Alittle，rustling，murmuringpanicmovedamongthebesiegedguests。Frank，cool，smooth，reassuring，couldbeseenintherosyglowoftheburningtobacco，goingfromtabletotable。

“Allkeepstill！“washiscaution。“Don”ttalkormakeanynoise！

Everythingwillbeallright。Now，don”tfeeltheslightestalarm。

We”lltakecareofyouall。”