第22章

Whatdidhethinkofallthistime，then？Whatdidhewishfor？

Thereisnodoubtthathewasaperfectlyfreeagentallthrough，andthatasfarasNastasiawasconcerned，therewasnoforceofanykindbroughttobearonhim。Nastasiawishedforaspeedymarriage，true！——buttheprinceagreedatoncetoherproposals；

heagreed，infact，socasuallythatanyonemightsupposehewasbutaccedingtothemostsimpleandordinarysuggestion。

Therearemanystrangecircumstancessuchasthisbeforeus；butinouropiniontheydobutdeepenthemystery，anddonotinthesmallestdegreehelpustounderstandthecase。

However，letustakeonemoreexample。Thus，weknowforafactthatduringthewholeofthisfortnighttheprincespentallhisdaysandeveningswithNastasia；hewalkedwithher，drovewithher；hebegantoberestlesswheneverhepassedanhourwithoutseeingher——infact，toallappearances，hesincerelylovedher。

Hewouldlistentoherforhoursatatimewithaquietsmileonhisface，scarcelysayingawordhimself。Andyetweknow，equallycertainly，thatduringthisperiodheseveraltimessetoff，suddenly，totheEpanchins’，notconcealingthefactfromNastasiaPhilipovna，anddrivingthelattertoabsolutedespair。

WeknowalsothathewasnotreceivedattheEpanchins’solongastheyremainedatPavlofsk，andthathewasnotallowedaninterviewwithAglaya；——butnextdayhewouldsetoffoncemoreonthesameerrand，apparentlyquiteobliviousofthefactofyesterday’svisithavingbeenafailure，——and，ofcourse，meetingwithanotherrefusal。Weknow，too，thatexactlyanhourafterAglayahadfledfromNastasiaPhilipovna’shouseonthatfatefulevening，theprincewasattheEpanchins’，——andthathisappearancetherehadbeenthecauseofthegreatestconsternationanddismay；forAglayahadnotbeenhome，andthefamilyonlydiscoveredthen，forthefirsttime，thatthetwoofthemhadbeentoNastasia’shousetogether。

ItwassaidthatElizabethaProkofievnaandherdaughtershadthereandthendenouncedtheprinceinthestrongestterms，andhadrefusedanyfurtheracquaintanceandfriendshipwithhim；

theirrageanddenunciationsbeingredoubledwhenVariaArdalionovnasuddenlyarrivedandstatedthatAglayahadbeenatherhouseinaterriblestateofmindforthelasthour，andthatsherefusedtocomehome。

Thislastitemofnews，whichdisturbedLizabethaProkofievnamorethananythingelse，wasperfectlytrue。OnleavingNastasia’s，Aglayahadfeltthatshewouldratherdiethanfaceherpeople，andhadthereforegonestraighttoNinaAlexandrovna’s。Onreceivingthenews，LizabethaandherdaughtersandthegeneralallrushedofftoAglaya，followedbyPrinceLefNicolaievitch——undeterredbyhisrecentdismissal；butthroughVariahewasrefusedasightofAglayaherealso。TheendoftheepisodewasthatwhenAglayasawhermotherandsisterscryingoverherandnotutteringawordofreproach，shehadflungherselfintotheirarmsandgonestraighthomewiththem。

ItwassaidthatGaniamanagedtomakeafoolofhimselfevenonthisoccasion；for，findinghimselfalonewithAglayaforaminuteortwowhenVariahadgonetotheEpanchins’，hehadthoughtitafittingopportunitytomakeadeclarationofhislove，andonhearingthisAglaya，inspiteofherstateofmindatthetime，hadsuddenlyburstoutlaughing，andhadputastrangequestiontohim。Sheaskedhimwhetherhewouldconsenttoholdhisfingertoalightedcandleinproofofhisdevotion！

Gania——itwassaid——lookedsocomicallybewilderedthatAglayahadalmostlaughedherselfintohysterics，andhadrushedoutoftheroomandupstairs，——whereherparentshadfoundher。

Hippolytetoldtheprincethislaststory，sendingforhimonpurpose。WhenMuishkinheardaboutthecandleandGania’sfingerhehadlaughedsothathehadquiteastonishedHippolyte，——andthenshudderedandburstintotears。Theprince’sconditionduringthosedayswasstrangeandperturbed。Hippolyteplainlydeclaredthathethoughthewasoutofhismind；——this，however，washardlytobereliedupon。

Offeringallthesefactstoourreadersandrefusingtoexplainthem，wedonotforamomentdesiretojustifyourhero’sconduct。Onthecontrary，wearequitepreparedtofeelourshareoftheindignationwhichhisbehaviourarousedintheheartsofhisfriends。EvenVeraLebedeffwasangrywithhimforawhile；

sowasColia；sowasKeller，untilhewasselectedforbestman；

sowasLebedeffhimself，——whobegantointrigueagainsthimoutofpureirritation；——butofthisanon。InfactweareinfullaccordwithcertainforciblewordsspokentotheprincebyEvgeniePavlovitch，quiteunceremoniously，duringthecourseofafriendlyconversation，sixorsevendaysaftertheeventsatNastasiaPhilipovna’shouse。

WemayremarkherethatnotonlytheEpanchinsthemselves，butallwhohadanythingtodowiththem，thoughtitrighttobreakwiththeprinceinconsequenceofhisconduct。PrinceS。evenwentsofarastoturnawayandcuthimdeadinthestreet。ButEvgeniePavlovitchwasnotafraidtocompromisehimselfbypayingtheprinceavisit，anddidso，inspiteofthefactthathehadrecommencedtovisitattheEpanchins’，wherehewasreceivedwithredoubledhospitalityandkindnessafterthetemporaryestrangement。

EvgeniecalledupontheprincethedayafterthatonwhichtheEpanchinsleftPavlofsk。Heknewofallthecurrentrumours，——infact，hehadprobablycontributedtothemhimself。Theprincewasdelightedtoseehim，andimmediatelybegantospeakoftheEpanchins；——whichsimpleandstraightforwardopeningquitetookEvgenie’sfancy，sothathemeltedatonce，andplungedinmediasreswithoutceremony。

Theprincedidnotknow，uptothis，thattheEpanchinshadlefttheplace。Hegrewverypaleonhearingthenews；butamomentlaterhenoddedhishead，andsaidthoughtfully:

"Iknewitwasboundtobeso。"Thenheaddedquickly:

"Wherehavetheygoneto？"

Evgeniemeanwhileobservedhimattentively，andtherapidityofthequestions，their，simplicity，theprince’scandour，andatthesametime，hisevidentperplexityandmentalagitation，surprisedhimconsiderably。However，hetoldMuishkinallhecould，kindlyandindetail。Theprincehardlyknewanything，forthiswasthefirstinformantfromthehouseholdwhomhehadmetsincetheestrangement。

EvgeniereportedthatAglayahadbeenreallyill，andthatfortwonightsshehadnotsleptatall，owingtohighfever；thatnowshewasbetterandoutofseriousdanger，butstillinanervous，hystericalstate。

"It’sagoodthingthatthereispeaceinthehouse，atallevents，"hecontinued。"Theyneverutterahintaboutthepast，notonlyinAglaya’spresence，butevenamongthemselves。Theoldpeoplearetalkingofatripabroadintheautumn，immediatelyafterAdelaida’swedding；Aglayareceivedthenewsinsilence。"

Evgeniehimselfwasverylikelygoingabroadalso；sowerePrinceS。andhiswife，ifaffairsallowedofit；thegeneralwastostayathome。TheywereallattheirestateofColminanow，abouttwentymilesorsofromSt。Petersburg。PrincessBielokonskihadnotreturnedtoMoscowyet，andwasapparentlystayingonforreasonsofherown。LizabethaProkofievnahadinsistedthatitwasquiteimpossibletoremaininPavlofskafterwhathadhappened。Evgeniehadtoldherofalltherumourscurrentintownabouttheaffair；sothattherecouldbenotalkoftheirgoingtotheirhouseontheYelaginasyet。

"Andinpointoffact，prince，"addedEvgeniePavlovitch，"youmustallowthattheycouldhardlyhavestayedhere，consideringthattheyknewofallthatwentonatyourplace，andinthefaceofyourdailyvisitstotheirhouse，visitswhichyouinsisteduponmakinginspiteoftheirrefusaltoseeyou。"

"Yes——yes，quiteso；youarequiteright。IwishedtoseeAglayaIvanovna，youknow！"saidtheprince，noddinghishead。

"Oh，mydearfellow，"criedEvgenie，warmly，withrealsorrowinhisvoice，"howcouldyoupermitallthattocomeaboutasithas？Ofcourse，ofcourse，Iknowitwasallsounexpected。I

admitthatyou，onlynaturally，lostyourhead，and——andcouldnotstopthefoolishgirl；thatwasnotinyourpower。Iquiteseesomuch；butyoureallyshouldhaveunderstoodhowseriouslyshecaredforyou。Shecouldnotbeartoshareyouwithanother；

andyoucouldbringyourselftothrowawayandshattersuchatreasure！Oh，prince，prince！"

"Yes，yes，youarequiterightagain，"saidthepoorprince，inanguishofmind。"Iwaswrong，Iknow。ButitwasonlyAglayawholookedonNastasiaPhilipovnaso；nooneelsedid，youknow。"

"Butthat’sjusttheworstofitall，don’tyousee，thattherewasabsolutelynothingseriousaboutthematterinreality！"

criedEvgenie，besidehimself:"Excuseme，prince，butIhavethoughtoverallthis；Ihavethoughtagreatdealoverit；I

knowallthathadhappenedbefore；Iknowallthattookplacesixmonthssince；andIknowtherewasNOTHINGseriousaboutthematter，itwasbutfancy，smoke，fantasy，distortedbyagitation，andonlythealarmedjealousyofanabsolutelyinexperiencedgirlcouldpossiblyhavemistakenitforseriousreality。"

HereEvgeniePavlovitchquitelethimselfgo，andgavethereinstohisindignation。

Clearlyandreasonably，andwithgreatpsychologicalinsight，hedrewapictureoftheprince’spastrelationswithNastasiaPhilipovna。EvgeniePavlovitchalwayshadareadytongue，butonthisoccasionhiseloquence，surprisedhimself。"Fromtheverybeginning，"hesaid，"youbeganwithalie；whatbeganwithaliewasboundtoendwithalie；suchisthelawofnature。Idonotagree，infactIamangry，whenIhearyoucalledanidiot；youarefartoointelligenttodeservesuchanepithet；butyouaresofarSTRANGEastobeunlikeothers；thatyoumustallow，yourself。Now，Ihavecometotheconclusionthatthebasisofallthathashappened，hasbeenfirstofallyourinnateinexperience(remarktheexpression’innate，’prince)。Thenfollowsyourunheard-ofsimplicityofheart；thencomesyourabsolutewantofsenseofproportion(tothiswantyouhaveseveraltimesconfessed)；andlastly，amass，anaccumulation，ofintellectualconvictionswhichyou，inyourunexampledhonestyofsoul，acceptunquestionablyasalsoinnateandnaturalandtrue。

Admit，prince，thatinyourrelationswithNastasiaPhilipovnatherehasexisted，fromtheveryfirst，somethingdemocratic，andthefascination，sotospeak，ofthe’womanquestion’？IknowallaboutthatscandaloussceneatNastasiaPhilipovna’shousewhenRogojinbroughtthemoney，sixmonthsago。I’llshowyouyourselfasinalooking-glass，ifyoulike。Iknowexactlyallthatwenton，ineverydetail，andwhythingshaveturnedoutastheyhave。

Youthirsted，whileinSwitzerland，foryourhome-country，forRussia；youread，doubtless，manybooksaboutRussia，excellentbooks，Idaresay，buthurtfultoYOU；andyouarrivedhere；asitwere，onfirewiththelongingtobeofservice。Then，ontheverydayofyourarrival，theytellyouasadstoryofanill-

usedwoman；theytellYOU，aknight，pureandwithoutreproach，thistaleofapoorwoman！ThesamedayyouactuallySEEher；youareattractedbyherbeauty，herfantastic，almostdemoniacal，beauty——(Iadmitherbeauty，ofcourse)。

"Addtoallthisyournervousnature，yourepilepsy，andyoursuddenarrivalinastrangetown——thedayofmeetingsandofexcitingscenes，thedayofunexpectedacquaintanceships，thedayofsuddenactions，thedayofmeetingwiththethreelovelyEpanchingirls，andamongthemAglaya——addyourfatigue，yourexcitement；addNastasia’seveningparty，andthetoneofthatparty，and——whatwereyoutoexpectofyourselfatsuchamomentasthat？"

"Yes，yes，yes！"saidtheprince，oncemore，noddinghishead，andblushingslightly。"Yes，itwasso，ornearlyso——Iknowit。

Andbesides，yousee，Ihadnotsleptthenightbefore，inthetrain，orthenightbeforethat，either，andIwasverytired。"

"Ofcourse，ofcourse，quiteso；that’swhatIamdrivingat！"

continuedEvgenie，excitedly。"Itisasclearaspossible，andmostcomprehensible，thatyou，inyourenthusiasm，shouldplungeheadlongintothefirstchancethatcameofpubliclyairingyourgreatideathatyou，aprince，andapure-livingman，didnotconsiderawomandisgracedifthesinwerenotherown，butthatofadisgustingsociallibertine！Oh，heavens！it’scomprehensibleenough，mydearprince，butthatisnotthequestion，unfortunately！Thequestionis，wasthereanyrealityandtruthinyourfeelings？Wasitnature，ornothingbutintellectualenthusiasm？Whatdoyouthinkyourself？Wearetold，ofcourse，thatafarworsewomanwasFORGIVEN，butwedon’tfindthatshewastoldthatshehaddonewell，orthatshewasworthyofhonourandrespect！Didnotyourcommon-senseshowyouwhatwastherealstateofthecase，afewmonthslater？Thequestionisnow，notwhethersheisaninnocentwoman(Idonotinsistonewayortheother——Idonotwishto)；butcanherwholecareerjustifysuchintolerablepride，suchinsolent，rapaciousegotismasshehasshown？Forgiveme，Iamtooviolent，perhaps，but——"

"Yes——Idaresayitisallasyousay；Idaresayyouarequiteright，"mutteredtheprinceoncemore。"Sheisverysensitiveandeasilyputout，ofcourse；butstill，she……"

"Sheisworthyofsympathy？Isthatwhatyouwishedtosay，mygoodfellow？Butthen，forthemeresakeofvindicatingherworthinessofsympathy，youshouldnothaveinsultedandoffendedanobleandgenerousgirlinherpresence！Thisisaterribleexaggerationofsympathy！Howcanyouloveagirl，andyetsohumiliateherastothrowheroverforthesakeofanotherwoman，beforetheveryeyesofthatotherwoman，whenyouhavealreadymadeheraformalproposalofmarriage？AndyouDIDproposetoher，youknow；youdidsobeforeherparentsandsisters。Canyoubeanhonestman，prince，ifyouactso？Iaskyou！Anddidyounotdeceivethatbeautifulgirlwhenyouassuredherofyourlove？"

"Yes，youarequiteright。Oh！IfeelthatIamveryguilty！"

saidMuishkin，indeepestdistress。

"Butasifthatisenough！"criedEvgenie，indignantly。"Asifitisenoughsimplytosay:’IknowIamveryguilty！’Youaretoblame，andyetyoupersevereinevil-doing。Wherewasyourheart，Ishouldliketoknow，yourCHRISTIANHEART，allthattime？Didshelookasthoughsheweresufferingless，atthatmoment？Yousawherface——wasshesufferinglessthantheotherwoman？Howcouldyouseehersufferingandallowittocontinue？Howcouldyou？"

"ButIdidnotallowit，"murmuredthewretchedprince。

"How——whatdoyoumeanyoudidn’tallow？"

"Uponmyword，Ididn’t！TothismomentIdon’tknowhowitallhappened。I——IranafterAglayaIvanovna，butNastasiaPhilipovnafelldowninafaint；andsincethatdaytheywon’tletmeseeAglaya——that’sallIknow。"

"It’sallthesame；yououghttohaverunafterAglayathoughtheotherwasfainting。"

"Yes，yes，Iought——butIcouldn’t！Shewouldhavedied——shewouldhavekilledherself。Youdon’tknowher；andIshouldhavetoldAglayaeverythingafterwards——butIsee，EvgeniePavlovitch，youdon’tknowall。Tellmenow，whyamInotallowedtoseeAglaya？Ishouldhavecleareditallup，youknow。Neitherofthemkepttotherealpoint，yousee。IcouldneverexplainwhatImeantoyou，butIthinkIcouldtoAglaya。Oh！myGod，myGod！YouspokejustnowofAglaya’sfaceatthemomentwhensheranaway。Oh，myGod！Irememberit！Comealong，comealong——

quick！"HepulledatEvgenie’scoat-sleevenervouslyandexcitedly，androsefromhischair。

"Whereto？"

"CometoAglaya——quick，quick！"

"ButItoldyousheisnotatPavlofsk。Andwhatwouldbetheuseifshewere？"

"Oh，she’llunderstand，she’llunderstand！"criedtheprince，claspinghishands。"Shewouldunderstandthatallthisisnotthepoint——notabittherealpoint——itisquiteforeigntotherealquestion。"

"Howcanitbeforeign？YouAREgoingtobemarried，areyounot？

Verywell，thenyouarepersistinginyourcourse。AREyougoingtomarryherornot？"

"Yes，Ishallmarryher——yes。"

"Thenwhyisit’notthepoint’？"

"Oh，no，itisnotthepoint，notabit。Itmakesnodifference，mymarryingher——itmeansnothing。"

"How’meansnothing’？Youaretalkingnonsense，myfriend。Youaremarryingthewomanyouloveinordertosecureherhappiness，andAglayaseesandknowsit。Howcanyousaythatit’s’notthepoint’？"

"Herhappiness？Oh，no！Iamonlymarryingher——well，becauseshewishedit。Itmeansnothing——it’sallthesame。Shewouldcertainlyhavedied。IseenowthatthatmarriagewithRogojinwasaninsaneidea。IunderstandallnowthatIdidnotunderstandbefore；and，doyouknow，whenthosetwostoodoppositetooneanother，IcouldnotbearNastasiaPhilipovna’sface！Youmustknow，EvgeniePavlovitch，Ihavenevertoldanyonebefore——notevenAglaya——thatIcannotbearNastasiaPhilipovna’sface。"(Heloweredhisvoicemysteriouslyashesaidthis。)YoudescribedthateveningatNastasiaPhilipovna’s(sixmonthssince)veryaccuratelyjustnow；butthereisonethingwhichyoudidnotmention，andofwhichyoutooknoaccount，becauseyoudonotknow。ImeanherFACE——Ilookedatherface，yousee。EveninthemorningwhenIsawherportrait，IfeltthatIcouldnotBEAR

tolookatit。Now，there’sVeraLebedeff，forinstance，hereyesarequitedifferent，youknow。I’mAFRAIDofherface！"headded，withrealalarm。

"YouareAFRAIDofit？"

"Yes——she’smad！"hewhispered，growingpale。

"Doyouknowthisforcertain？"askedEvgenie，withthegreatestcuriosity。

"Yes，forcertain——quiteforcertain，now！IhavediscovereditABSOLUTELYforcertain，theselastfewdays。"

"Whatareyoudoing，then？"criedEvgenie，inhorror。"YoumustbemarryinghersolelyoutofFEAR，then！Ican’tmakeheadortailofit，prince。Perhapsyoudon’tevenloveher？"

"Oh，no；Iloveherwithallmysoul。Why，sheisachild！She’sachildnow——arealchild。Oh！youknownothingaboutitatall，Isee。"

"Andareyouassured，atthesametime，thatyouloveAglayatoo？"

"Yes——yes——oh；yes！"

"Howso？DoyouwanttomakeoutthatyoulovethemBOTH？"

"Yes——yes——both！Ido！"

"Excuseme，prince，butthinkwhatyouaresaying！Recollectyourself！"

"WithoutAglaya——I——IMUSTseeAglaya！——Ishalldieinmysleepverysoon——IthoughtIwasdyinginmysleeplastnight。Oh！ifAglayaonlyknewall——Imeanreally，REALLYall！BecauseshemustknowALL——that’sthefirstconditiontowardsunderstanding。Whycannotweeverknowallaboutanother，especiallywhenthatotherhasbeenguilty？ButIdon’tknowwhatI’mtalkingabout——I’msoconfused。Youpainedmesodreadfully。Surely——surelyAglayahasnotthesameexpre