第20章

"IthinkConradhadnobusinessthere，oryou，either，Basil，"saidhiswife。

"Oh，Idon\'tdefendmyself，"saidMarch。"Iwasthereinthecauseofliterarycuriosityandofconjugaldisobedience。ButConrad——yes，hehadsomebusinessthere:itwashisbusinesstosufferthereforthesinsofothers。Isabel，wecan\'tthrowasidethatolddoctrineoftheAtonementyet。ThelifeofChrist，itwasn\'tonlyinhealingthesickandgoingabouttodogood；itwassufferingforthesinsofothers。That\'sasgreatamysteryasthemysteryofdeath。Whyshouldtherebesuchaprincipleintheworld?Butit\'sbeenfelt，andmoreorlessdumbly，blindlyrecognizedeversinceCalvary。Ifwelovemankind，pitythem，weevenwishtosufferforthem。That\'swhathascreatedthereligiousordersinalltimes——thebrotherhoodsandsisterhoodsthatbelongtoourdayasmuchastothemediaevalpast。That\'swhatisdrivingagirllikeMargaretVance，whohaseverythingthattheworldcanofferheryoungbeauty，ontotheworkofaSisterofCharityamongthepoorandthedying。"

"Yes，yes!"criedMrs。March。"How——howdidshelookthere，Basil?"Shehadherfemininemisgivings；shewasnotsurebutthegirlwassomethingofaposeuse，andenjoyedthepicturesqueness，aswellasthepain；andshewishedtobeconvincedthatitwasnotso。

"Well，"shesaid，whenMarchhadtoldagainthelittletherewastotell，"IsupposeitmustbeagreattrialtoawomanlikeMrs。Horntohaveherniecegoingthatway。"

"ThewayofChrist?"askedMarch，withasmile。

"Oh，Christcameintotheworldtoteachushowtoliverightlyinit，too。Ifwewerealltospendourtimeinhospitals，itwouldberatherdismalforthehomes。Butperhapsyoudon\'tthinkthehomesareworthminding?"shesuggested，withacertainnoteinhervoicethatheknew。

Hegotupandkissedher。"Ithinkthegimcrackeriesare。"Hetookthehathehadsetdownontheparlortableoncomingin，andstartedtoputitinthehall，andthatmadehernoticeit。

"You\'vebeengettinganewhat!"

"Yes，"hehesitated；"theoldonehadgot——wasdecidedlyshabby。"

"Well，that\'sright。Idon\'tlikeyoutowearthemtoolong。Didyouleavetheoldonetobepressed?"

"Well，thehatterseemedtothinkitwashardlyworthpressing，"saidMarch。Hedecidedthatforthepresenthiswife\'snerveshadquitealltheycouldbear。

XII。

Itwasinamannergrotesque，buttoMarchitwasallthemorenaturalforthatreason，thatDryfoosshouldhaveLindau\'sfuneralfromhishouse。Heknewtheoldmantobedarklygroping，throughthepaymentofthesevainhonorstothedead，forsomeatonementtohisson，andheimaginedhimfindinginthemsuchcomfortascomesfromdoingallonecan，evenwhenallisuseless。

NooneknewwhatLindau\'sreligionwas，andindefaulttheyhadhadtheAnglicanburialservicereadoverhim；itseemssooftentherefugeofthehomelessdead。Mrs。Dryfooscamedownfortheceremony。SheunderstoodthatitwasforCoonrod\'ssakethathisfatherwishedthefuneraltobethere；andsheconfidedtoMrs。MarchthatshebelievedCoonrodwouldhavebeenpleased。"Coonrodwasamemberofthe\'PiscopalChurch；andfawther\'sdoin\'thewholethingforCoonrodasmuchasforanybody。HethoughttheworldofCoonrod，fawtherdid。Mela，shekindofthoughtitwouldlookqueertohavetwofuneralsfromthesamehouse，hand-runnin\'，asyoumightcallit，andoneof\'emnorelation，either；

butwhenshesawhowfawtherwasbentonit，shegivein。Seemsasifshewastryin\'tomakeuptofawtherforCoonrodasmuchasshecould。

Melaalwayswasagoodchild，butnobodycanevercomeuptoCoonrod。"

Marchfeltallthegrotesqueness，thehopelessabsurdityofDryfoos\'sendeavoratatonementinthesevainobsequiestothemanforwhomhebelievedhissontohavedied；buttheefforthaditsmagnanimity，itspathos，andtherewasapoetrythatappealedtohiminthereconciliationthroughdeathofmen，ofideas，ofconditions，thatcouldonlyhavegonewarringoninlife。Hethought，asthepriestwentonwiththesolemnliturgy，howalltheworldmustcometogetherinthatpeacewhich，struggleandstriveaswemay，shallclaimusatlast。HelookedatDryfoos，andwonderedwhetherhewouldconsidertheseritesasufficienttribute，orwhethertherewasenoughinhimtomakehimrealizetheirfutility，exceptasameresignofhiswishtoretrievethepast。Hethoughthowwenevercanatoneforthewrongwedo；theheartwehavegrievedandwoundedcannotkindlewithpityforuswhenonceitisstilled；andyetwecanputourevilfromuswithpenitence，andsomehow，somewhere，theorderoflovingkindness，whichourpassionorourwilfulnesshasdisturbed，willberestored。

Dryfoos，throughFulkerson，hadaskedallthemoreintimatecontributorsof\'EveryOtherWeek\'tocome。Beatonwasabsent，butFulkersonhadbroughtMissWoodburn，withherfather，andMrs。LeightonandAlma，tofillup，ashesaid。Melawasmuchpresent，andwasofficialwiththearrangementoftheflowersandthewelcomeoftheguests。SheimpartedthisimpersonalitytoherreceptionofKendricks，whomFulkersonmetintheouterhallwithhisparty，andwhomhepresentedinwhispertothemall。Kendrickssmiledunderhisbreath，asitwere，andwasthenmutelyandseriouslypolitetotheLeightons。Almabroughtalittlebunchofflowers，whichwerelostinthosewhichDryfooshadorderedtobeunsparinglyprovided。

ItwasakindofsatisfactiontoMelatohaveMissVancecome，andreassuringastohowitwouldlooktohavethefuneralthere；MissVancewouldcertainlynothavecomeunlessithadbeenallright；shehadcome，andhadsentsomeEasterlilies。

"Ain\'tChristinecomingdown?"FulkersonaskedMela。

"No，sheain\'tabitwell，andsheain\'tbeen，eversinceCoonroddied。

Idon\'tknow，what\'sgotoverher，"saidMela。Sheadded，"Well，I

should\'a\'thoughtMr。Beatonwould\'a\'madeoutto\'a\'come!"

"Beaton\'speculiar，"saidFulkerson。"Ifhethinksyouwanthimhetakesapleasureinnotlettingyouhavehim。"

"Well，goodnessknows，Idon\'twanthim，"saidthegirl。

Christinekeptherroom，andforthemostpartkeptherbed；butthereseemednothingdefinitelythematterwithher，andshewouldnotletthemcalladoctor。Hermothersaidshereckonedshewasbeginningtofeelthespringweather，thatalwaysperfectlypulledabodydowninNewYork；

andMelasaidifbeingascrossastwostickswasanysignofspring-

fever，Christinehaditbad。Shewasfaithfullykindtoher，andsubmittedtoallherhumors，butsherecompensedherselfbythefreestcriticismofChristinewhennotinactualattendanceonher。ChristinewouldnotsufferMrs。Mandeltoapproachher，andshehadwithherfatherasullensubmissionwhichwasnotresignation。Forher，apparently，Conradhadnotdied，orhaddiedinvain。

"Pshaw!"saidMela，onemorningwhenshecametobreakfast，"IreckonifwewastosendupanoldcardofMr。Beaton\'sshe\'drattledown-stairsfastenough。Ifshe\'ssick，she\'slove-sick。Itmakesmesicktoseeher。"

MelawastalkingtoMrs。Mandel，butherfatherlookedupfromhisplateandlistened。Melawenton:"Idon\'tknowwhat\'smadethefellowquitcomun\'。Buthewasanaggravatun\'thing，andnomoredependablethanwater。It\'sjustlikeAir。Fulkersonsaid，ifhethinksyouwanthimhe\'lltakeapleasureinnotlettun\'youhavehim。Ireckonthat\'swhat\'sthematterwithChristine。Ibelieveinmyheartthegirl\'lldieifshedon\'tgithim。"

Melawentontoeatherbreakfastwithherowngoodappetite。Shenowalwayscamedowntokeepherfathercompany，asshesaid，andshedidherbesttocheerandcomforthim。Atleastshekeptthetalkgoing，andshehaditnearlyalltoherself，forMrs。Mandelwasnowmerelystayingonprovisionally，and，intheabsenceofanyregretsorexcusesfromChristine，waslookingruefullyforwardtothemomentwhenshemustleaveeventhisungentlehomeforthechancesoftheruderworldoutside。

Theoldmansaidnothingattable，but，whenMelawentuptoseeifshecoulddoanythingforChristine，heaskedMrs。MandelagainaboutallthefactsofherlastinterviewwithBeaton。

Shegavethemasfullyasshecouldrememberthem，andtheoldmanmadenocommentonthem。Buthewentoutdirectlyafter，andatthe\'EveryOtherWeek\'officeheclimbedthestairstoFulkerson\'sroomandaskedforBeaton\'saddress。NooneyethadtakenchargeofConrad\'swork，andFulkersonwasrunningthethinghimself，ashesaid，tillhecouldtalkwithDryfoosaboutit。Theoldmanwouldnotlookintotheemptyroomwherehehadlastseenhissonalive；heturnedhisfaceawayandhurriedbythedoor。

XIII。

ThecourseofpubliceventscarriedBeaton\'sprivateaffairsbeyondthereachofhissimplefirstintentiontorenouncehisconnectionwith\'EveryOtherWeek。\'Infact，thiswasnotperhapssosimpleasitseemed，andlongbeforeitcouldbeputineffectitappearedstillsimplertodonothingaboutthematter——toremainpassiveandleavetheinitiativetoDryfoos，tomaintainthedignityofunconsciousnessandletrecognitionofanychangeinthesituationcomefromthosewhohadcausedthechange。Afterall，itwasratherabsurdtoproposemakingapurelypersonalquestionthepivotonwhichhisrelationswith\'EveryOtherWeek\'turned。HetookahintfromMarch\'spositionanddecidedthathedidnotknowDryfoosintheserelations；heknewonlyFulkerson，whohadcertainlyhadnothingtodowithMrs。Mandel\'saskinghisintentions。

AshereflecteduponthishebecamelesseagertolookFulkersonupandmakethemagazineapartnerofhisownsufferings。ThiswasthesoberermoodtowhichBeatontrustedthatnightevenbeforeheslept，andheawokefullyconfirmedinit。Asheexaminedtheoffencedonehiminthecoldlightofday，heperceivedthatithadnotcomeeitherfromMrs。

Mandel，whowasvisiblythefalteringandunwillinginstrumentofit，orfromChristine，whowasaltogetherignorantofit，butfromDryfoos，whomhecouldnothurtbygivinguphisplace。HecouldonlypunishFulkersonbythat，andFulkersonwasinnocent。JusticeandinterestalikedictatedthepassivecoursetowhichBeatoninclined；andhereflectedthathemightsafelyleavethepunishmentofDryfoostoChristine，whowouldfindoutwhathadhappened，andwouldbeabletotakecareofherselfinanyencounteroftemperswithherfather。

Beatondidnotgototheofficeduringtheweekthatfolloweduponthisconclusion；buttheywereusedtheretothesesuddenabsencesofhis，and，ashisworkforthetimewasintrain，nothingwasmadeofhisstayingaway，exceptthesarcasticcommentwhichthethoughtofhimwasapttoexciteintheliterarydepartment。HenolongercamesomuchtotheLeightons，andFulkersonwasinnostateofmindtomissanyonethereexceptMissWoodburn，whomhenevermissed。Beatonwasleft，then，unmolestedlyawaitingthecourseofdestiny，whenhereadinthemorningpaper，overhiscoffeeatMaroni\'s，thedeeplyscare-headedstoryofConrad\'sdeathandtheclubbingofLindau。Heprobablycaredaslittleforeitherofthemasanymanthateversawthem；buthefeltashock，ifnotapang，atConrad\'sfate，sooutofkeepingwithhislifeandcharacter。Hedidnotknowwhattodo；andhedidnothing。Hewasnotaskedtothefuneral，buthehadnotexpectedthat，and，whenFulkersonbroughthimnoticethatLindauwasalsotobeburiedfromDryfoos\'shouse，itwaswithouthisusualsullenvindictivenessthathekeptaway。

Inhissort，andasmuchasamancouldwhowasnecessarilysomuchtakenupwithhimself，hewassorryforConrad\'sfather；Beatonhadapeculiartendernessforhisownfather，andheimaginedhowhisfatherwouldfeelifitwerehewhohadbeenkilledinConrad\'splace，asitmightverywellhavebeen；hesympathizedwithhimselfinviewofthepossibility；

andforoncetheyweremistakenwhothoughthimindifferentandmerelybrutalinhisfailuretoappearatLindau\'sobsequies。

Hewouldreallyhavegoneifhehadknownhowtoreconcilehispresenceinthathousewiththetermsofhiseffectivebanishmentfromit；andhewasratherforgivinglyfindinghimselfwrongedinthesituation，whenDryfoosknockedatthestudiodoorthemorningafterLindau\'sfuneral。

Beatonroaredout，"Comein!"ashealwaysdidtoaknockifhehadnotamodel；ifhehadamodelhesetthedoorslightlyajar，andwithhispaletteonhisthumbfrownedathisvisitorandtoldhimhecouldnotcomein。Dryfoosfumbledaboutfortheknobinthedimpassagewayoutside，andBeaton，whohadexperienceofpeople\'sdifficultieswithit，suddenlyjerkedthedooropen。Thetwomenstoodconfronted，andatfirstsightofeachothertheirquiescentdislikerevived。Eachwouldhavebeenwillingtoturnawayfromtheother，butthatwasnotpossible。

Beatonsnortedsomesortofinarticulatesalutation，whichDryfoosdidnottrytoreturn；heaskedifhecouldseehimaloneforaminuteortwo，andBeatonbadehimcomein，andsweptsomepaint-blotchedragsfromthechairwhichhetoldhimtotake。Henoticed，astheoldmansanktremulouslyintoit，thathismovementwaslikethatofhisownfather，andalsothathelookedverymuchlikeChristine。Dryfoosfoldedhishandstremulouslyonthetopofhishorn-handledstick，andhewasratherfinelyhaggard，withthedarkhollowsroundhisblackeyesandthefallofthemusclesoneithersideofhischin。Hehadforgottentotakehissoft，wide-brimmedhatoff；andBeatonfeltadesiretosketchhimjustashesat。

Dryfoossuddenlypulledhimselftogetherfromthedrearyabsenceintowhichhefellatfirst。"Youngman，"hebegan，"maybeI\'vecomehereonafool\'serrand，"andBeatonratherfanciedthatbeginning。

Butitembarrassedhimalittle，andhesaid，withashyglanceaside，"I

don\'tknowwhatyoumean。"

"Ireckon，"Dryfoosanswered，quietly，"yougotyournotion，though。

Isetthatwomanontospeaktoyouthewayshedone。Butiftherewasanythingwronginthewayshespoke，orifyoudidn\'tfeellikeshehadanyrighttoquestionyouupasifwesuspectedyouofanythingmean，I

wantyoutosayso。"

Beatonsaidnothing，andtheoldmanwenton。

"Iain\'tverywellupinthewaysoftheworld，andIdon\'tpretendtobe。AllIwantistobefairandsquarewitheverybody。I\'vemademistakes，though，inmytime——"Hestopped，andBeatonwasnotproofagainstthemiseryofhisface，whichwastwistedaswithsomestrongphysicalache。"Idon\'tknowasIwanttomakeanymore，ifIcanhelpit。Idon\'tknowbutwhatyouhadarighttokeeponcomin\'，andifyouhadIwantyoutosayso。Don\'tyoubeafraidbutwhatI\'lltakeitintherightway。Idon\'twanttotakeadvantageofanybody，andIdon\'taskyoutosayanymorethanthat。"

Beatondidnotfindthehumiliationofthemanwhohadhumiliatedhimsosweetashecouldhavefancieditmightbe。Heknewhowithadcomeabout，andthatitwasaneffectofloveforhischild；itdidnotmatterbywhatungraciousmeansshehadbroughthimtoknowthathelovedherbetterthanhisownwill，thathiswishforherhappinesswasstrongerthanhispride；itwasenoughthathewasnowsomehowbroughttogiveproofofit。BeatoncouldnotbeawareofallthatdarkcoilofcircumstancethroughwhichDryfoos\'spresentactionevolveditself；

theworstofthiswasburiedinthesecretoftheoldman\'sheart，awormofperpetualtorment。Whatwasapparenttoanotherwasthathewasbrokenbythesorrowthathadfallenuponhim，anditwasthisthatBeatonrespectedandpitiedinhisimpulsetobefrankandkindinhisanswer。

"No，IhadnorighttokeepcomingtoyourhouseinthewayIdid，unless——unlessImeantmorethanIeversaid。"Beatonadded:"Idon\'tsaythatwhatyoudidwasusual——inthiscountry，atanyrate；butI

can\'tsayyouwerewrong。Sinceyouspeaktomeaboutthematter，it\'sonlyfairtomyselftosaythatagooddealgoesoninlifewithoutmuchthinkingofconsequences。That\'sthewayIexcusemyself。"

"AndyousayMrs。Mandeldoneright?"askedDryfoos，asifhewishedsimplytobeassuredofapointofetiquette。

"Yes，shedidright。I\'venothingtocomplainof。"

"That\'sallIwantedtoknow，"saidDryfoos；butapparentlyhehadnotfinished，andhedidnotgo，thoughthesilencethatBeatonnowkeptgavehimachancetodoso。Hebeganaseriesofquestionswhichhadnorelationtothematterinhand，thoughtheywerestrictlypersonaltoBeaton。"Whatcountrymanareyou?"heasked，afteramoment。

"Whatcountryman?"Beatonfrownedbackathim。

"Yes，areyouanAmericanbybirth?"

"Yes；IwasborninSyracuse。"

"Protestant?"

"MyfatherisaScotchSeceder。"

"Whatbusinessisyourfatherin?"

Beatonfalteredandblushed；thenheanswered:

"He\'sinthemonumentbusiness，ashecallsit。He\'satombstonecutter。"Nowthathewaslaunched，Beatonsawnoreasonfornotdeclaring，"Myfather\'salwaysbeenapoorman，andworkedwithhisownhandsforhisliving。"HehadtooslightesteemsociallyforDryfoostoconcealafactfromhimthathemighthavewishedtoblinkwithothers。

"Well，that\'sright，"saidDryfoos。"Iusedtofarmitmyself。I\'vegotagoodpileofmoneytogether，now。Atfirstitdidn\'tcomeeasy；butnowit\'sgotstarteditpoursinandpoursin；itseemsliketherewasnoendtoit。I\'vegotwellontothreemillion；butitcouldn\'tkeepmefromlosin\'myson。Itcan\'tbuymebackaminuteofhislife；notallthemoneyintheworldcandoit!"

HegrievedthisoutasiftohimselfratherthantoBeaton，who，scarcelyventuredtosay，"Iknow——Iamverysorry——"

"Howdidyoucome，"Dryfoosinterrupted，"totakeuppaintin\'?"

"Well，Idon\'tknow，"saidBeaton，alittlescornfully。"Youdon\'t。

takeathingofthatkindup，Ifancy。Ialwayswantedtopaint。"

"Fathertrytostopyou?"

"No。Itwouldn\'thavebeenofanyuse。Why——"

"Myson，hewantedtobeapreacher，andIdidstophimorIthoughtI

did。ButIreckonhewasapreacher，allthesame，everyminuteofhislife。Asyousay，itain\'tanyusetotrytostopathinglikethat。

Ireckonifachildhasgotanyparticularbent，itwasgiventoit；

andit\'sgoin\'againstthegrain，it\'sgoin\'againstthelaw，totrytobenditsomeotherway。There\'slotsofgoodbusinessmen，Mr。Beaton，twentyof\'emtoeverygoodpreacher?"

"Iimaginemorethantwenty，"saidBeaton，amusedandtouchedthroughhiscuriosityastowhattheoldmanwasdrivingatbythequaintsimplicityofhisspeculations。

"Fatherevercometothecity?"

"No；heneverhasthetime；andmymother\'saninvalid。"

"Oh!Brothersandsisters?"

"Yes；we\'realargefamily。"

"Ilosttwolittlefellers——twins，"saidDryfoos，sadly。"Butwehain\'teverhadbutjustthefive。Evertakeportraits?"

"Yes，"saidBeaton，meetingthiszigzaginthequeriesasseriouslyastherest。"Idon\'tthinkIamgoodatit。"

Dryfoosgottohisfeet。"Iwishyou\'dpaintalikenessofmyson。

You\'veseenhimplentyoftimes。Wewon\'tfightabouttheprice，don\'tyoubeafraidofthat。"

Beatonwasastonished，andinamistakenwayhewasdisgusted。HesawthatDryfooswastryingtoundoMrs。Mandel\'sworkpractically，andgethimtocomeagaintohishouse；thathenowconceivedoftheoffencegivenhimascondoned，andwishedtorestoretheformersituation。HeknewthathewasattemptingthisforChristine\'ssake，buthewasnotthemantoimaginethatDryfooswastryingnotonlytotoleratehim，buttolikehim；and，infact，Dryfooswasnotwhollyconscioushimselfofthisend。WhattheybothunderstoodwasthatDryfooswasendeavoringtogetatBeatonthroughConrad\'smemory；butwithonethiswasitsdedicationtoapurposeofselfsacrifice，andwiththeotheravulgarandshamelessuseofit。

"Icouldn\'tdoit，"saidBeaton。"Icouldn\'tthinkofattemptingit。"

"Whynot?"Dryfoospersisted。"Wegotsomephotographsofhim；hedidn\'tliketositverywell；buthismothergothimto；andyouknowhowhelooked。"

"Icouldn\'tdoit——Icouldn\'t。Ican\'tevenconsiderit。I\'mverysorry。Iwould，ifitwerepossible。Butitisn\'tpossible。"

"Ireckonifyouseethephotographsonce"

"Itisn\'tthat，Mr。Dryfoos。ButI\'mnotinthewayofthatkindofthinganymore。"

"I\'dgiveanypriceyou\'veamindtoname——"

"Oh，itisn\'tthemoney!"criedBeaton，beginningtolosecontrolofhimself。

Theoldmandidnotnoticehim。Hesatwithhisheadfallenforward，andhischinrestingonhisfoldedhands。Thinkingoftheportrait，hesawConrad\'sfacebeforehim，reproachful，astonished，butallgentleasitlookedwhenConradcaughthishandthatdayafterhestruckhim；heheardhimsay，"Father!"andthesweatgatheredonhisforehead。"Oh，myGod!"

hegroaned。"No；thereain\'tanythingIcandonow。"

BeatondidnotknowwhetherDryfooswasspeakingtohimornot。Hestartedtowardhim。"Areyouill?"

"No，thereain\'tanythingthematter，"saidtheoldman。"ButIguessI\'lllaydownonyoursetteeaminute。"HetotteredwithBeaton\'shelptotheaestheticcouchcoveredwithatiger-skin，onwhichBeatonhadoncethoughtofpaintingaCleopatra；buthecouldnevergettherightmodel。Astheoldmanstretchedhimselfoutonit，paleandsuffering，hedidnotlookmuchlikeaCleopatra，butBeatonwasstruckwithhiseffectiveness，andthelikenessbetweenhimandhisdaughter；shewouldmakeaverygoodCleopatrainsomeways。Allthetime，whilethesethoughtspassedthroughhismind，hewasafraidDryfooswoulddie。

Theoldmanfetchedhisbreathingasps，whichpresentlysmoothedandlengthenedintohisnormalbreathing。Beatongothimaglassofwine，andaftertastingithesatup。

"You\'vegottoexcuseme，"hesaid，gettingbacktohischaracteristicgrimnesswithsurprisingsuddenness，whenoncehebegantorecoverhimself。"I\'vebeenthroughagooddeallately；andsometimesitketchesmeroundtheheartlikeapain。"

Inhislifeofselfishimmunityfromgrief，Beatoncouldnotunderstandthisexperiencethatpoignantsorrowbrings；hesaidtohimselfthatDryfooswasgoingthewayofanginapectoris；ashebeganshufflingoffthetiger-skinhesaid:"Hadyoubettergetup?Wouldn\'tyoulikemetocalladoctor?"

"I\'mallright，youngman。"Dryfoostookhishatandstickfromhim，buthemadeforthedoorsouncertainlythatBeatonputhishandunderhiselbowandhelpedhimout，anddownthestairs，tohiscoupe。

"Hadn\'tyoubetterletmedrivehomewithyou?"heasked。

"What?"saidDryfoos，suspiciously。

Beatonrepeatedhisquestion。

"IguessI\'mabletogohomealone，"saidDryfoos，inasurlytone，andheputhisheadoutofthewindowandcalledup"Home!"tothedriver，whoimmediatelystartedoffandleftBeatonstandingbesidethecurbstone。

XIV。

BeatonwastedtherestofthedayintheemotionsandspeculationswhichDryfoos\'scallinspired。Itwasnotthattheycontinuouslyoccupiedhim，buttheybrokeupthetrainofotherthoughts，andspoiledhimforwork；

averylittlespoiledBeatonforwork；herequiredjusttherightmoodforwork。HecomprehendedperfectlywellthatDryfooshadmadehimthatextraordinaryembassybecausehewishedhimtorenewhisvisits，andheeasilyimaginedthemeansthathadbroughthimtothispass。Fromwhatheknewofthatgirlhedidnotenvyherfatherhismeetingwithherwhenhemusttellherhismissionhadfailed。Buthaditfailed?WhenBeatoncametoaskhimselfthisquestion，hecouldonlyperceivethatheandDryfooshadfailedtofindanygroundofsympathy，andhadpartedinthesamedislikewithwhichtheyhadmet。Butastoanyotherfailure，itwascertainlytacit，anditstillrestedwithhimtogiveiteffect。

HecouldgobacktoDryfoos\'shouse，asfreelyasbefore，anditwasclearthathewasverymuchdesiredtocomeback。Butifhewentbackitwasalsoclearthathemustgobackwithintentionsmoreexplicitthanbefore，andnowhehadtoaskhimselfjusthowmuchorhowlittlehehadmeantbygoingthere。HislikingforChristinehadcertainlynotincreased，butthecharm，ontheotherhand，ofholdingaleopardessinleashhadnotyetpalleduponhim。Inhislifeofinconstancies，itwasapleasuretorestuponsomethingfixed，andthemanwhohadnocontroloverhimselflikedlogicallyenoughtofeelhiscontrolofsomeoneelse。

Thefactcannototherwisebeputinterms，andtheattractionwhichChristineDryfooshadforhim，apartfromthis，escapesfromallterms，asanythingpurelyandmerelypassionalmust。Hehadseenfromthefirstthatshewasacat，andsofarasyouthforecastssuchthings，hefeltthatshewouldbeashrew。Buthehadaperversesenseofherbeauty，andheknewasortoflifeinwhichherpowertomolesthimwithhertempercouldbereducedtothesmallestproportions，andevenbrokentopieces。Thentheconsciousnessofhermoneyentered。Itwasevidentthattheoldmanhadmentionedhismillionsinthewayofahinttohimofwhathemightreasonablyexpectifhewouldturnandbehisson-in-

law。Beatondidnotputittohimselfinthosewords；andinfacthiscogitationswerenotinwordsatall。Itwastheplayofcognitions，ofsensations，formlesslytendingtotheeffectwhichcanonlybeveryclumsilyinterpretedinlanguage。Butwhenhegottothispointinthem，BeatonrosetomagnanimityandinaflashofdramaticreveriedisposedofapartofDryfoos\'srichesinplacinghisfatherandmother，andhisbrothersandsisters，beyondallpecuniaryanxietyforever。Hehadnoshame，noscrupleinthis，forhehadbeenapensioneruponotherseversinceaSyracusanamateuroftheartshaddetectedhistalentandgivenhimthemoneytogoandstudyabroad。Beatonhadalwaysconsideredthemoneyaloan，toberepaidoutofhisfuturesuccess；buthenowneverdreamtofrepayingit；asthemanwasrich，hehadevenacontemptforthenotionofrepayinghim；butthisdidnotpreventhimfromfeelingverykeenlythehardshipsheputhisfathertoinborrowingmoneyfromhim，thoughheneverrepaidhisfather，either。InthisreveriehesawhimselfsacrificedinmarriagewithChristineDryfoos，inakindofadmiringself-pity，andhewasmeltedbythespectacleofthedignitywithwhichhesufferedallthelifelongtrialsensuingfromhisunselfishness。ThefancythatAlmaLeightoncamebitterlytoregrethim，contributedtosootheandflatterhim，andhewasnotsurethatMargaret。

Vancedidnotsufferalikelossinhim。

Therehadbeentimeswhen，ashebelieved，thatbeautifulgirl\'shighthoughtshadtendedtowardhim；therehadbeenlooks，gestures，evenwords，thathadthiseffecttohim，orthatseemedtohavehadit；andBeatonsawthathemighteasilyconstrueMrs。Horn\'sconfidentialappealtohimtogetMargaretinterestedinartagainassomethingbynomeansnecessarilyoffensive，eventhoughithadbeenmadetohimastoamasterofillusion。IfMrs。Hornhadtochoosebetweenhimandthelifeofgoodworkstowhichherniecewasvisiblyabandoningherself，Beatoncouldnotdoubtwhichshewouldchoose；theonlyquestionwashowrealthedangerofalifeofgoodworkswas。

Ashethoughtofthesetwogirls，onesocharmingandtheothersodivine，itbecameindefinitelydifficulttorenouncethemforChristineDryfoos，withhersultrytemperandherearthboundideals。LifehadbeensoflatteringtoBeatonhithertothathecouldnotbelievethembothfinallyindifferent；andiftheywerenotindifferent，perhapshedidnotwisheitherofthemtobeverydefinite。Whathereallylongedforwastheirsympathy；foramanwhoisabletowalkroundquiteruthlesslyonthefeelingsofothersoftenhasverytenderfeelingsofhisown，easilylacerated，andeagerlyresponsivetothecaressesofcompassion。InthisframeBeatondeterminedtogothatafternoon，thoughitwasnotMrs。

Horn\'sday，andcalluponherinthehopeofpossiblyseeingMissVancealone。Ashecontinuedinit，hetookthisforasignandactuallywent。

Itdidnotfalloutatonceashewished，buthegotMrs。Horntotalkingagainaboutherniece，andMrs。HornagainregrettedthatnothingcouldbedonebythefineartstoreclaimMargaretfromgoodworks。

"Issheathome?Willyouletmeseeher?"askedBeacon，withsomethingofthescientificinterestofaphysicianinquiringforapatientwhosesymptomshavebeenrehearsedtohim。Hehadnotaskedforherbefore。

"Yes，certainly，"saidMrs。Horn，andshewentherselftocallMargaret，andshedidnotreturnwithher。Thegirlenteredwiththegentlegracepeculiartoher；andBeaton，bentashewasonhisownconsolation，couldnothelpbeingstruckwiththespiritualexaltationofherlook。

Atsightofher，thevaguehopehehadneverquiterelinquished，thattheymightbesomethingmorethanaestheticfriends，diedinhisheart。

Sheworeblack，assheoftendid；butinspiteofitsfashionherdressreceivedanun-likeeffectfromthepensiveabsenceofherface。

"Decidedly，"thoughtBeaton，"sheisfargoneingoodworks。"

Butherose，allthesame，tomeetherontheoldlevel，andhebeganatoncetotalktoherofthesubjecthehadbeendiscussingwithheraunt。

Hesaidfranklythattheybothfeltshehadunjustifiablyturnedherbackuponpossibilitieswhichsheoughtnottoneglect。

"Youknowverywell，"sheanswered，"thatIcouldn\'tdoanythinginthatwayworththetimeIshouldwasteonit。Don\'ttalkofit，please。

Isupposemyaunthasbeenaskingyoutosaythis，butit\'snouse。

I\'msorryit\'snouse，shewishesitsomuch；butI\'mnotsorryotherwise。Youcanfindthepleasureatleastofdoinggoodworkinit；

butIcouldn\'tfindanythinginitbutabarrenamusement。Mr。Wetmoreisright；forme，it\'slikeenjoyinganopera，oraball。"

"That\'soneofWetmore\'sphrases。He\'dsacrificeanythingtothem。"

Sheputasidethewholesubjectwithalook。"YouwerenotatMr。

Dryfoos\'stheotherday。Haveyouseenthem，anyofthem，lately?"

"Ihaven\'tbeenthereforsometime，no，"saidBeaton，evasively。

Buthethoughtifhewastogetontoanything，hehadbetterbecandid。

"Mr。Dryfooswasatmystudiothismorning。He\'sgotaqueernotion。

Hewantsmetopainthisson\'sportrait。"

Shestarted。"Andwillyou——"

"No，Icouldn\'tdosuchathing。Itisn\'tinmyway。Itoldhimso。

Hissonhadabeautifulfaceanantiqueprofile；asortofearlyChristiantype；butI\'mtoomuchofapaganforthatsortofthing。"

"Yes。"

"Yes，"Beatoncontinued，notquitelikingherassentafterhehadinvitedit。Hehadhisprideinbeingapagan，aGreek，butitfailedhiminherpresence，now；andhewishedthatshehadprotestedhewasnone。"Hewasasingularcreature；akindofsurvival；anexileinourtimeandplace。

Idon\'tknow:wedon\'tquiteexpectasainttoberustic；butwithallhisgoodnessConradDryfooswasacountryperson。Ifhewerenotdyingforacauseyoucouldimaginehimmilking。"Beatonintendedacontemptthatcamefromthebitternessofhavinghimselfoncemilkedthefamilycow。

HiscontemptdidnotreachMissVance。"Hediedforacause，"shesaid。

"Theholiest。"

"Oflabor?"

"Ofpeace。Hewastheretopersuadethestrikerstobequietandgohome。"

"Ihaven\'tbeenquitesure，"saidBeaton。"Butinanycasehehadnobusinessthere。Thepolicewereonhandtodothepersuading。"

"Ican\'tletyoutalkso!"criedthegirl。"It\'sshocking!Oh，Iknowit\'sthewaypeopletalk，andtheworstisthatinthesightoftheworldit\'stherightway。Buttheblessingonthepeacemakersisnotforthepolicemenwiththeirclubs。"

Beatonsawthatshewasnervous；hemadehisreflectionthatshewasaltogethertoofargoneingoodworksforthefineartstoreachher；

hebegantothinkhowhecouldturnherprimitiveChristianitytotheaccountofhismodernheathenism。Hehadnodeeperdesignthantogetflatteredbackintohisownfavorfarenoughtofindcourageforsomesortofdecisivestep。InhishearthewastryingtowillwhetherheshouldorshouldnotgobacktoDryfoos\'shouse。Itcouldnotbefromthecapricethathadformerlytakenhim；itmustbefromadefinitepurpose；againherealizedthis。"Ofcourse；youareright，"hesaid。

"IwishIcouldhaveansweredthatoldmandifferently。Ifancyhewasboundupinhisson，thoughhequarrelledwithhim，andcrossedhim。ButIcouldn\'tdoit；itwasn\'tpossible。"Hesaidtohimselfthatifshesaid"No，"now，hewouldberuledbyheragreementwithhim；andifshedisagreedwithhim，hewouldberuledstillbythechance，andwouldgonomoretotheDryfooses\'。Hefoundhimselfembarrassedtothepointofblushingwhenshesaidnothing，andlefthim，asitwere，onhisownhands。"Ishouldliketohavegivenhimthatcomfort；Ifancyhehasn\'tmuchcomfortinlife；butthereseemsnocomfortinme。"

Hedroppedhisheadinafitattitudeforcompassion；butshepourednopityuponit。

"Thereisnocomfortforusinourselves，"shesaid。"It\'shardtogetoutside；butthere\'sonlydespairwithin。Whenwethinkwehavedonesomethingforothers，bysomegreateffort，wefindit\'sallforourownvanity。"

"Yes，"saidBeaton。"IfIcouldpaintpicturesforrighteousness\'sake，IshouldhavebeengladtodoConradDryfoosforhisfather。Ifeltsorryforhim。Didtherestseemverymuchbrokenup?Yousawthemall?"

"Notall。MissDryfooswasill，hersistersaid。It\'shardtotellhowmuchpeoplesuffer。Hismotherseemedbewildered。Theyoungersisterisasimplecreature；shelookslikehim；Ithinkshemusthavesomethingofhisspirit。"

"Notmuchspiritofanykind，Iimagine，"saidBeaton。"Butshe\'samiablymaterial。DidtheysayMissDryfooswasseriouslyill?"

"No。Isupposedshemightbeprostratedbyherbrother\'sdeath。"

"Doessheseemthatkindofpersontoyou，MissVance?"askedBeaton。

"Idon\'tknow。Ihaven\'ttriedtoseesomuchofthemasImight，thepastwinter。IwasnotsureaboutherwhenImether；I\'veneverseenmuchofpeople，exceptinmyownset，andthe——verypoor。IhavebeenafraidIdidn\'tunderstandher。Shemayhaveakindofpridethatwouldnotletherdoherselfjustice。"

Beatonfelttheunconsciousdislikeintheendeavorofpraise。"Thensheseemstoyoulikeapersonwhoselife——itstrials，itschances——wouldmakemoreofthansheisnow?"

"Ididn\'tsaythat。Ican\'tjudgeofheratall；butwherewedon\'tknow，don\'tyouthinkweoughttoimaginethebest?"

"Ohyes，"saidBeaton。"Ididn\'tknowbutwhatIoncesaidofthemmighthaveprejudicedyouagainstthem。Ihaveaccusedmyselfofit。"Healwaystookatoneofconscientiousness，ofself-censure，intalkingwithMissVance；hecouldnothelpit。

"Ohno。AndIneverallowedmyselftoformanyjudgmentofher。Sheisverypretty，don\'tyouthink，inakindofway?"

"Very。"

"Shehasabeautifulbrunettecoloring:thatflourywhiteandthedelicatepinkinit。Hereyesarebeautiful。"

"She\'sgraceful，too，"saidBeaton。"I\'vetriedherincolor；butI

didn\'tmakeitout。"

"I\'vewonderedsometimes，"saidMissVance，"whetherthatelusivequalityyoufindinsomepeopleyoutrytopaintdoesn\'tcharacterizethemallthrough。MissDryfoosmightbeeversomuchfinerandbetterthanwewouldfindoutinthesocietywaythatseemstheonlyway。"

"Perhaps，"saidBeaton，gloomily；andhewentawayprofoundlydiscouragedbythislastanalysisofChristine\'scharacter。TheangelicimperviousnessofMissVancetopropertiesofwhichhisownwickednesswassokeenlyawareinChristinemighthavemadehimlaugh，ifithadnotbeensuchaseriousaffairwithhim。Asitwas，hesmiledtothinkhowverydifferentlyAlmaLeightonwouldhavejudgedherfromMissVance\'spremises。HelikedthatclearvisionofAlma\'sevenwhenitpiercedhisowndisguises。Yes，thatwasthelighthehadletdieout，anditmighthaveshoneuponhispaththroughlife。Beatonneverfeltsopoignantlythedisadvantageofhavingonanygivenoccasionbeenwantingtohisownintereststhroughhisself-loveasinthis。Hehadnoonetoblamebuthimselfforwhathadhappened，butheblamedAlmaforwhatmighthappeninthefuturebecausesheshutoutthewayofretrievalandreturn。Whenbethoughtoftheattitudeshehadtakentowardhim，itseemedincredible，andhewasalwayslongingtogiveherafinalchancetoreverseherfinaljudgment。Itappearedtohimthatthetimehadcomeforthisnow，ifever。

XV。

Whilewearestillyoungwefeelakindofpride，asortoffiercepleasure，inanyimportantexperience，suchaswehavereadoforheardofinthelivesofothers，nomatterhowpainful。Itwasthispride，thispleasure，whichBeatonnowfeltinrealizingthatthetoilsoffatewereabouthim，thatbetweenhimandafutureofwhichChristineDryfoosmustbethegeniustherewasnothingbutthewill，themood，thefancyofagirlwhohadnotgivenhimthehopethateithercouldeveragainbeinhisfavor。Hehadnothingtotrustto，infact，buthisknowledgethathehadoncehadthemall；shedidnotdenythat；butneitherdidsheconcealthathehadflungawayhispoweroverthem，andshehadtoldhimthattheynevercouldbehisagain。Amanknowsthathecanloveandwhollyceasetolove，notoncemerely，butseveraltimes；herecognizesthefactinregardtohimself，boththeoreticallyandpractically；butinregardtowomenhecherishesthesuperstitionoftheromancesthatloveisonceforall，andforever。ItwasbecauseBeatonwouldnotbelievethatAlmaLeighton，beingawoman，couldputhimoutofherheartaftersufferinghimtostealintoit，thathenowhopedanythingfromher，andshehadbeensoexplicitwhentheylastspokeofthataffairthathedidnothopemuch。Hesaidtohimselfthathewasgoingtocasthimselfonhermercy，totakewhateverchanceoflife，love，andworktherewasinherhavingthesmallestpityonhim。Ifshewouldhavenone，thentherewasbutonethinghecoulddo:marryChristineandgoabroad。HedidnotseehowhecouldbringthisalternativetobearuponAlma；evenifsheknewwhathewoulddoincaseofafinalrejection，hehadgroundsforfearingshewouldnotcare；buthebroughtittobearuponhimself，anditnervedhimtoadesperatecourage。Hecouldhardlywaitforeveningtocome，beforehewenttoseeher；whenitcame，itseemedtohavecometoosoon。Hehadwroughthimselfthoroughlyintotheconvictionthathewasinearnest，andthateverythingdependeduponheranswertohim，butitwasnottillhefoundhimselfinherpresence，andalonewithher，thatherealizedthetruthofhisconviction。Thentheinfluencesofhergrace，hergayety，herarchbeauty，aboveall，hergoodsense，penetratedhissoullikeasubtleintoxication，andhesaidtohimselfthathewasright；hecouldnotlivewithouther；theseattributesofherswerewhatheneededtowinhim，tocheerhim，tocharmhim，toguidehim。Helongedsotopleaseher，toingratiatehimselfwithher，thatheattemptedtobelightlikeherinhistalk，butlapsedintoabysmalabsencesandgloomyrecessesofintrospection。

"Whatareyoulaughingat?"heasked，suddenlystartingfromoneofthese。

"Whatyouarethinkingof。"

"It\'snothingtolaughat。DoyouknowwhatI\'mthinkingof?"

"Don\'ttell，ifit\'sdreadful。"

"Oh，Idaresayyouwouldn\'tthinkit\'sdreadful，"hesaid，withbitterness。"It\'ssimplythecaseofamanwhohasmadeafoolofhimselfandseesnohelpofretrievalinhimself。"

"Cananyoneelsehelpamanunmakeafoolofhimself?"sheasked，withasmile。

"Yes。Inacaselikethis。"

"Dearme!Thisisveryinteresting。"

Shedidnotaskhimwhatthecasewas，buthewaslaunchednow，andhepressedon。"Iamthemanwhohasmadeafoolofhimself——"

"Oh!"

"Andyoucanhelpmeoutifyouwill。Alma，IwishyoucouldseemeasI

reallyam。"

"Doyou，Mr。Beacon?PerhapsIdo。"

"No；youdon\'t。Youformulatedmeinacertainway，andyouwon\'tallowforthechangethattakesplaceineveryone。Youhavechanged；whyshouldn\'tI?"

"Hasthistodowithyourhavingmadeafoolofyourself?"

"Yes。"

"Oh!ThenIdon\'tseehowyouhavechanged。"

Shelaughed，andhetoo，ruefully。"You\'recruel。NotbutwhatI

deserveyourmockery。Butthechangewasnotfromthecapacityofmakingafoolofmyself。IsupposeIshallalwaysdothatmoreorless——unlessyouhelpme。Alma!Whycan\'tyouhavealittlecompassion?YouknowthatImustalwaysloveyou。"

"Nothingmakesmedoubtthatlikeyoursayingit，Mr。Beaton。Butnowyou\'vebrokenyourword——"

"Youaretoblameforthat。YouknewIcouldn\'tkeepit!"

"Yes，I\'mtoblame。Iwaswrongtoletyoucome——afterthat。AndsoI

forgiveyouforspeakingtomeinthatwayagain。Butit\'sperfectlyimpossibleandperfectlyuselessformetohearyouanymoreonthatsubject；andso-good-bye!"

Sherose，andheperforcewithher。"Anddoyoumeanit?"heasked。

"Forever?"

"Forever。ThisistrulythelasttimeIwilleverseeyouifIcanhelpit。Oh，Ifeelsorryenoughforyou!"shesaid，withaglanceathisface。"Idobelieveyouareinearnest。Butit\'stoolatenow。Don\'tletustalkaboutitanymore!Butweshall，ifwemeet，andso，——"

"Andsogood-bye!Well，I\'venothingmoretosay，andImightaswellsaythat。Ithinkyou\'vebeenverygoodtome。Itseemstomeasifyouhadbeen——shallIsayit?——tryingtogivemeachance。Isthatso?"

Shedroppedhereyesanddidnotanswer。

"Youfounditwasnouse!Well，Ithankyoufortrying。It\'scurioustothinkthatIoncehadyourtrust，yourregard，andnowIhaven\'tit。Youdon\'tmindmyrememberingthatIhad?It\'llbesomelittleconsolation，andIbelieveitwillbesomehelp。IknowIcan\'tretrievethepastnow。Itistoolate。Itseemstoopreposterous——perfectlylurid——thatI

couldhavebeengoingtotellyouwhatatangleI\'dgotmyselfin，andtoaskyoutohelpuntangleme。Imustchokeintheinfernalcoil，butI\'dliketohavethesweetnessofyourpityinit——whateveritis。"

Sheputoutherhand。"Whateveritis，Idopityyou；Isaidthat。"

"Thankyou。"Hekissedthebandshegavehimandwent。

Hehadgoneonsomesuchtermsbefore；wasitnowforthelasttime?Shebelieveditwas。Shefeltinherselfasatiety，afatigue，inwhichhisgoodlooks，hisinventedairsandposes，hisrealtrouble，wereallalikerepulsive。Shedidnotacquitherselfofthewrongofhavinglethimthinkshemightyethavelikedhimassheoncedid；butshehadbeenhonestlywillingtoseewhethershecould。IthadmystifiedhertofindthatwhentheyfirstmetinNewYork，aftertheirsummerinSt。Barnaby，shecarednothingforhim；shehadexpectedtopunishhimforhisneglect，andthenfancyhimasbefore，butshedidnot。Moreandmoreshesawhimselfishandmean，weak-willed，narrow-minded，andhard-

hearted；andaimless，withallhistalent。Sheadmiredhistalentinproportionasshelearnedmoreofartists，andperceivedhowuncommonitwas；butshesaidtoherselfthatifsheweregoingtodevoteherselftoart，shewoulddoitatfirst-hand。ShewasperfectlysereneandhappyinherfinalrejectionofBeaton；hehadwornoutnotonlyherfancy，buthersympathy，too。

ThiswaswhathermotherwouldnotbelievewhenAlmareportedtheinterviewtoher；shewouldnotbelieveitwasthelasttimetheyshouldmeet；deathitselfcanhardlyconvinceusthatitisthelasttimeofanything，ofeverythingbetweenourselvesandthedead。"Well，Alma，"

shesaid，"Ihopeyou\'llneverregretwhatyou\'vedone。"

"YoumaybesureIshallnotregretit。IfeverI\'mlow-spiritedaboutanything，I\'llthinkofgivingMr。Beatonhisfreedom，andthatwillcheermeup。"

"Anddon\'tyouexpecttogetmarried?Doyouintendtobeanoldmaid?"

demandedhermother，inthebondsofthesuperstitionwomenhavesolongbeenundertotheeffectthateverywomanmustwishtogetmarried，iffornootherpurposethantoavoidbeinganoldmaid。

"Well，mamma，"saidAlma，"Iintendbeingayoungoneforafewyearsyet；andthenI\'llsee。IfImeettherightperson，allwellandgood；

ifnot，not。ButIshallpickandchoose，asamandoes；Iwon\'tmerelybepickedandchosen。"

"Youcan\'thelpyourself；youmaybeverygladifyouarepickedandchosen。"

"Whatnonsense，mamma!Agirlcangetanymanshewants，ifshegoesabout。ittherightway。Andwhenmy\'fatedfairyprince\'comesalong，Ishalljustsimplymakefuriouslovetohimandgrabhim。Ofcourse，Ishallmakeadecentpretenceoftalkinginmysleep。Ibelieveit\'sdonethatwaymorethanhalfthetime。Thefatedfairyprincewouldn\'tseetheprincessinninecasesoutoftenifshedidn\'tsaysomething；

hewouldgomooningalongafterthemaidsofhonor。"

Mrs。Leightontriedtolookunspeakablehorror；butshebrokedownandlaughed。"Well，youareastrangegirl，Alma。"

"Idon\'tknowaboutthat。ButonethingIdoknow，mamma，andthatisthatPrinceBeatonisn\'ttheF。F。P。forme。Howstrangeyouare，mamma!Don\'tyouthinkitwouldbeperfectlydisgustingtoacceptapersonyoudidn\'tcarefor，andlethimgoonandloveyouandmarryyou?