第6章

THEDEVIL。[ironically]What！youaCatholic，SenorDonJuan！A

devotee！Mycongratulations。

THESTATUE。[seriously]Comecome！asasoldier，IcanlistentonothingagainsttheChurch。

DONJUAN。Havenofear，Commander：thisideaofaCatholicChurchwillsurviveIslam，willsurvivetheCross，willsurviveeventhatvulgarpageantofincompetentschoolboyishgladiatorswhichyoucalltheArmy。

THESTATUE。Juan：youwillforcemetocallyoutoaccountforthis。

DONJUAN。Useless：Icannotfence。EveryideaforwhichManwilldiewillbeaCatholicidea。WhentheSpaniardlearnsatlastthatheisnobetterthantheSaracen，andhisprophetnobetterthanMahomet，hewillarise，moreCatholicthanever，anddieonabarricadeacrossthefilthyslumhestarvesin，foruniversallibertyandequality。

THESTATUE。Bosh！

DONJUAN。Whatyoucallboshistheonlythingmendarediefor。

Lateron，LibertywillnotbeCatholicenough：menwilldieforhumanperfection，towhichtheywillsacrificealltheirlibertygladly。

THEDEVIL。Ay：theywillneverbeatalossforanexcuseforkillingoneanother。

DONJUAN。Whatofthat？Itisnotdeaththatmatters，butthefearofdeath。Itisnotkillinganddyingthatdegradeus，butbaseliving，andacceptingthewagesandprofitsofdegradation。

Bettertendeadmenthanoneliveslaveorhismaster。Menshallyetriseup，fatheragainstsonandbrotheragainstbrother，andkilloneanotherforthegreatCatholicideaofabolishingslavery。

THEDEVIL。Yes，whentheLibertyandEqualityofwhichyouprateshallhavemadefreewhiteChristianscheaperinthelabormarketthanbyauctionattheblock。

DONJUAN。Neverfear！thewhitelaborershallhavehisturntoo。

ButIamnotnowdefendingtheillusoryformsthegreatideastake。IamgivingyouexamplesofthefactthatthiscreatureMan，whoinhisownselfishaffairsisacowardtothebackbone，willfightforanidealikeahero。Hemaybeabjectasacitizen；butheisdangerousasafanatic。Hecanonlybeenslavedwhilstheisspirituallyweakenoughtolistentoreason。Itellyou，gentlemen，ifyoucanshowamanapieceofwhathenowcallsGod’sworktodo，andwhathewilllateroncallbymanynewnames，youcanmakehimentirelyrecklessoftheconsequencestohimselfpersonally。

ANA。Yes：heshirksallhisresponsibilities，andleaveshiswifetograpplewiththem。

THESTATUE。Wellsaid，daughter。Donotlethimtalkyououtofyourcommonsense。

THEDEVIL。Alas！SenorCommander，nowthatwehavegotontothesubjectofWoman，hewilltalkmorethanever。However，Iconfessitisformetheonesupremelyinterestingsubject。

DONJUAN。Toawoman，Senora，man’sdutiesandresponsibilitiesbeginandendwiththetaskofgettingbreadforherchildren。Toher，Manisonlyameanstotheendofgettingchildrenandrearingthem。

ANA。Isthatyourideaofawoman’smind？Icallitcynicalanddisgustingmaterialism。

DONJUAN。Pardonme，Ana：Isaidnothingaboutawoman’swholemind。IspokeofherviewofManasaseparatesex。ItisnomorecynicalthanherviewofherselfasaboveallthingsaMother。

Sexually，WomanisNature’scontrivanceforperpetuatingitshighestachievement。Sexually，ManisWoman’scontrivanceforfulfillingNature’sbehestinthemosteconomicalway。Sheknowsbyinstinctthatfarbackintheevolutionalprocesssheinventedhim，differentiatedhim，createdhiminordertoproducesomethingbetterthanthesingle—sexedprocesscanproduce。

Whilsthefulfilsthepurposeforwhichshemadehim，heiswelcometohisdreams，hisfollies，hisideals，hisheroisms，providedthatthekeystoneofthemallistheworshipofwoman，ofmotherhood，ofthefamily，ofthehearth。Buthowrashanddangerousitwastoinventaseparatecreaturewhosesolefunctionwasherownimpregnation！Formarkwhathashappened。

First，Manhasmultipliedonherhandsuntilthereareasmanymenaswomen；sothatshehasbeenunabletoemployforherpurposesmorethanafractionoftheimmenseenergyshehasleftathisdisposalbysavinghimtheexhaustinglaborofgestation。

Thissuperfluousenergyhasgonetohisbrainandtohismuscle。

Hehasbecometoostrongtobecontrolledbyherbodily，andtooimaginativeandmentallyvigoroustobecontentwithmereself—

reproduction。Hehascreatedcivilizationwithoutconsultingher，takingherdomesticlaborforgrantedasthefoundationofit。

ANA。THATistrue，atallevents。

THEDEVIL。Yes；andthiscivilization！whatisit，afterall？

DONJUAN。Afterall，anexcellentpegtohangyourcynicalcommonplaceson；butBEFOREall，itisanattemptonMan’sparttomakehimselfsomethingmorethanthemereinstrumentofWoman’spurpose。Sofar，theresultofLife’scontinualeffortnotonlytomaintainitself，buttoachievehigherandhigherorganizationandcompleterself—consciousness，isonly，atbest，adoubtfulcampaignbetweenitsforcesandthoseofDeathandDegeneration。Thebattlesinthiscampaignaremereblunders，mostlywon，likeactualmilitarybattles，inspiteofthecommanders。

THESTATUE。Thatisadigatme。Nomatter：goon，goon。

DONJUAN。Itisadigatamuchhigherpowerthanyou，Commander。

Still，youmusthavenoticedinyourprofessionthatevenastupidgeneralcanwinbattleswhentheenemy’sgeneralisalittlestupider。

THESTATUE。[veryseriously]Mosttrue，Juan，mosttrue。Somedonkeyshaveamazingluck。

DONJUAN。Well，theLifeForceisstupid；butitisnotsostupidastheforcesofDeathandDegeneration。Besides，theseareinitspayallthetime。AndsoLifewins，afterafashion。Whatmerecopiousnessoffecunditycansupplyandmeregreedpreserve，wepossess。Thesurvivalofwhateverformofcivilizationcanproducethebestrifleandthebestfedriflemenisassured。

THEDEVIL。Exactly！thesurvival，notofthemosteffectivemeansofLifebutofthemosteffectivemeansofDeath。Youalwayscomebacktomypoint，inspiteofyourwrigglingsandevasionsandsophistries，nottomentiontheintolerablelengthofyourspeeches。

DONJUAN。Ohcome！whobeganmakinglongspeeches？However，ifI

overtaxyourintellect，youcanleaveusandseekthesocietyofloveandbeautyandtherestofyourfavoriteboredoms。

THEDEVIL。[muchoffended]Thisisnotfair，DonJuan，andnotcivil。Iamalsoontheintellectualplane。NobodycanappreciateitmorethanIdo。Iamarguingfairlywithyou，and，Ithink，utterlyrefutingyou。Letusgoonforanotherhourifyoulike。

DONJUAN。Good：letus。

THESTATUE。NotthatIseeanyprospectofyourcomingtoanypointinparticular，Juan。Still，sinceinthisplace，insteadofmerelykillingtimewehavetokilleternity，goaheadbyallmeans。

DONJUAN。[somewhatimpatiently]Mypoint，youmarbleheadedoldmasterpiece，isonlyastepaheadofyou。AreweagreedthatLifeisaforcewhichhasmadeinnumerableexperimentsinorganizingitself；thatthemammothandtheman，themouseandthemegatherium，thefliesandthefleasandtheFathersoftheChurch，areallmoreorlesssuccessfulattemptstobuildupthatrawforceintohigherandhigherindividuals，theidealindividualbeingomnipotent，omniscient，infallible，andwithalcompletely，unilludedlyself—conscious：inshort，agod？

THEDEVIL。Iagree，forthesakeofargument。

THESTATUE。Iagree，forthesakeofavoidingargument。

ANA。ImostemphaticallydisagreeasregardstheFathersoftheChurch；andImustbegyounottodragthemintotheargument。

DONJUAN。Ididsopurelyforthesakeofalliteration，Ana；andIshallmakenofurtherallusiontothem。Andnow，sinceweare，withthatexception，agreedsofar，willyounotagreewithmefurtherthatLifehasnotmeasuredthesuccessofitsattemptsatgodheadbythebeautyorbodilyperfectionoftheresult，sinceinboththeserespectsthebirds，asourfriendAristophaneslongagopointedout，aresoextraordinarilysuperior，withtheirpowerofflightandtheirlovelyplumage，and，mayIadd，thetouchingpoetryoftheirlovesandnestings，thatitisinconceivablethatLife，havingonceproducedthem，should，ifloveandbeautywereherobject，startoffonanotherlineandlaborattheclumsyelephantandthehideousape，whosegrandchildrenweare？

ANA。Aristophaneswasaheathen；andyou，Juan，Iamafraid，areverylittlebetter。

THEDEVIL。Youconclude，then，thatLifewasdrivingatclumsinessandugliness？

DONJUAN。No，perversedevilthatyouare，athousandtimesno。

Lifewasdrivingatbrains——atitsdarlingobject：anorganbywhichitcanattainnotonlyself—consciousnessbutself—understanding。

THESTATUE。Thisismetaphysics，Juan。Whythedevilshould——[totheDevil]IBEGyourpardon。

THEDEVIL。Praydon’tmentionit。Ihavealwaysregardedtheuseofmynametosecureadditionalemphasisasahighcomplimenttome。Itisquiteatyourservice，Commander。

THESTATUE。Thankyou：that’sverygoodofyou。Eveninheaven，I

neverquitegotoutofmyoldmilitaryhabitsofspeech。WhatI

wasgoingtoaskJuanwaswhyLifeshouldbotheritselfaboutgettingabrain。Whyshoulditwanttounderstanditself？Whynotbecontenttoenjoyitself？

DONJUAN。Withoutabrain，Commander，youwouldenjoyyourselfwithoutknowingit，andsoloseallthefun。

THESTATUE。True，mosttrue。ButIamquitecontentwithbrainenoughtoknowthatI’menjoyingmyself。Idon’twanttounderstandwhy。Infact，I’drathernot。Myexperienceisthatone’spleasuresdon’tbearthinkingabout。

DONJUAN。Thatiswhyintellectissounpopular。ButtoLife，theforcebehindtheMan，intellectisanecessity，becausewithoutitheblundersintodeath。JustasLife，afteragesofstruggle，evolvedthatwonderfulbodilyorgantheeye，sothatthelivingorganismcouldseewhereitwasgoingandwhatwascomingtohelporthreatenit，andthusavoidathousanddangersthatformerlyslewit，soitisevolvingto—dayamind’seyethatshallsee，notthephysicalworld，butthepurposeofLife，andtherebyenabletheindividualtoworkforthatpurposeinsteadofthwartingandbafflingitbysettingupshortsightedpersonalaimsasatpresent。Evenasitis，onlyonesortofmanhaseverbeenhappy，haseverbeenuniversallyrespectedamongalltheconflictsofinterestsandillusions。

THESTATUE。Youmeanthemilitaryman。

DONJUAN。Commander：Idonotmeanthemilitaryman。Whenthemilitarymanapproaches，theworldlocksupitsspoonsandpacksoffitswomankind。No：Ising，notarmsandthehero，butthe，philosophicman：hewhoseeksincontemplationtodiscovertheinnerwilloftheworld，ininventiontodiscoverthemeansoffulfillingthatwill，andinactiontodothatwillbytheso—discoveredmeans。OfallothersortsofmenIdeclaremyselftired。They’retediousfailures。WhenIwasonearth，professorsofallsortsprowledroundmefeelingforanunhealthyspotinmeonwhichtheycouldfasten。ThedoctorsofmedicinebademeconsiderwhatImustdotosavemybody，andofferedmequackcuresforimaginarydiseases。IrepliedthatIwasnotahypochondriac；sotheycalledmeIgnoramusandwenttheirway。

ThedoctorsofdivinitybademeconsiderwhatImustdotosavemysoul；butIwasnotaspiritualhypochondriacanymorethanabodilyone，andwouldnottroublemyselfaboutthateither；sotheycalledmeAtheistandwenttheirway。Afterthemcamethepolitician，whosaidtherewasonlyonepurposeinNature，andthatwastogethimintoparliament。ItoldhimIdidnotcarewhetherhegotintoparliamentornot；sohecalledmeMugwumpandwenthisway。Thencametheromanticman，theArtist，withhislovesongsandhispaintingsandhispoems；andwithhimI

hadgreatdelightformanyyears，andsomeprofit；forI

cultivatedmysensesforhissake；andhissongstaughtmetohearbetter，hispaintingstoseebetter，andhispoemstofeelmoredeeply。ButheledmeatlastintotheworshipofWoman。

ANA。Juan！

DONJUAN。Yes：Icametobelievethatinhervoicewasallthemusicofthesong，inherfaceallthebeautyofthepainting，andinhersoulalltheemotionofthepoem。

ANA。Andyouweredisappointed，Isuppose。Well，wasitherfaultthatyouattributedalltheseperfectionstoher？

DONJUAN。Yes，partly。Forwithawonderfulinstinctivecunning，shekeptsilentandallowedmetoglorifyher；tomistakemyownvisions，thoughts，andfeelingsforhers。Nowmyfriendtheromanticmanwasoftentoopoorortootimidtoapproachthosewomenwhowerebeautifulorrefinedenoughtoseemtorealizehisideal；andsohewenttohisgravebelievinginhisdream。ButI

wasmorefavoredbynatureandcircumstance。Iwasofnoblebirthandrich；andwhenmypersondidnotplease，myconversationflattered，thoughIgenerallyfoundmyselffortunateinboth。

THESTATUE。Coxcomb！

DONJUAN。Yes；butevenmycoxcombrypleased。Well，IfoundthatwhenIhadtouchedawoman’simagination，shewouldallowmetopersuademyselfthatshelovedme；butwhenmysuitwasgrantedsheneversaid"Iamhappy：myloveissatisfied"：shealwayssaid，first，"Atlast，thebarriersaredown，"andsecond，"Whenwillyoucomeagain？"

ANA。Thatisexactlywhatmensay。

DONJUAN。IprotestIneversaidit。Butallwomensayit。Well，thesetwospeechesalwaysalarmedme；forthefirstmeantthatthelady’simpulsehadbeensolelytothrowdownmyfortificationsandgainmycitadel；andthesecondopenlyannouncedthathenceforthsheregardedmeasherproperty，andcountedmytimeasalreadywhollyatherdisposal。

THEDEVIL。Thatiswhereyourwantofheartcamein。

THESTATUE。[shakinghishead]Youshouldn’trepeatwhatawomansays，Juan。

ANA。[severely]Itshouldbesacredtoyou。

THESTATUE。Still，theycertainlydoalwayssayit。Inevermindedthebarriers；buttherewasalwaysaslightshockabouttheother，unlessonewasveryhardhitindeed。

DONJUAN。Thenthelady，whohadbeenhappyandidleenoughbefore，becameanxious，preoccupiedwithme，alwaysintriguing，conspiring，pursuing，watching，waiting，bentwhollyonmakingsureofherprey——Ibeingtheprey，youunderstand。NowthiswasnotwhatIhadbargainedfor。Itmayhavebeenveryproperandverynatural；butitwasnotmusic，painting，poetryandjoyincarnatedinabeautifulwoman。Iranawayfromit。Iranawayfromitveryoften：infactIbecamefamousforrunningawayfromit。

ANA。Infamous，youmean，DONJUAN。Ididnotrunawayfromyou。Doyoublamemeforrunningawayfromtheothers？

ANA。Nonsense，man。Youaretalkingtoawomanof77now。Ifyouhadhadthechance，youwouldhaverunawayfrommetoo——ifIhadletyou。Youwouldnothavefounditsoeasywithmeaswithsomeoftheothers。Ifmenwillnotbefaithfultotheirhomeandtheirduties，theymustbemadetobe。Idaresayyouallwanttomarrylovelyincarnationsofmusicandpaintingandpoetry。Well，youcan’thavethem，becausetheydon’texist。Iffleshandbloodisnotgoodenoughforyouyoumustgowithout：that’sall。Womenhavetoputupwithflesh—and—bloodhusbands——andlittleenoughofthattoo，sometimes；andyouwillhavetoputupwithflesh—and—bloodwives。TheDevillooksdubious。TheStatuemakesawryface。Iseeyoudon’tlikethat，anyofyou；butit’strue，forallthat；soifyoudon’tlikeityoucanlumpit。

DONJUAN。Mydearlady，youhaveputmywholecaseagainstromanceintoafewsentences。ThatisjustwhyIturnedmybackontheromanticmanwiththeartistnature，ashecalledhisinfatuation。Ithankedhimforteachingmetousemyeyesandears；butItoldhimthathisbeautyworshippingandhappinesshuntingandwomanidealizingwasnotworthadumpasaphilosophyoflife；sohecalledmePhilistineandwenthisway。

ANA。ItseemsthatWomantaughtyousomething，too，withallherdefects。

DONJUAN。Shedidmore：sheinterpretedalltheotherteachingforme。Ah，myfriends，whenthebarriersweredownforthefirsttime，whatanastoundingillumination！Ihadbeenpreparedforinfatuation，forintoxication，foralltheillusionsoflove’syoungdream；andlo！neverwasmyperceptionclearer，normycriticismmoreruthless。ThemostjealousrivalofmymistressneversaweveryblemishinhermorekeenlythanI。Iwasnotduped：Itookherwithoutchloroform。

ANA。Butyoudidtakeher。

DONJUAN。Thatwastherevelation。UptothatmomentIhadneverlostthesenseofbeingmyownmaster；neverconsciouslytakenasinglestepuntilmyreasonhadexaminedandapprovedit。IhadcometobelievethatIwasapurelyrationalcreature：athinker！

Isaid，withthefoolishphilosopher，"Ithink；thereforeIam。"

ItwasWomanwhotaughtmetosay"Iam；thereforeIthink。"Andalso"Iwouldthinkmore；thereforeImustbemore。"

THESTATUE。Thisisextremelyabstractandmetaphysical，Juan。Ifyouwouldsticktotheconcrete，andputyourdiscoveriesintheformofentertaininganecdotesaboutyouradventureswithwomen，yourconversationwouldbeeasiertofollow。

DONJUAN。Bah！whatneedIadd？DoyounotunderstandthatwhenI

stoodfacetofacewithWoman，everyfibreinmyclearcriticalbrainwarnedmetospareherandsavemyself。MymoralssaidNo。

MyconsciencesaidNo。MychivalryandpityforhersaidNo。MyprudentregardformyselfsaidNo。Myear，practisedonathousandsongsandsymphonies；myeye，exercisedonathousandpaintings；torehervoice，herfeatures，hercolortoshreds。I

caughtallthosetell—taleresemblancestoherfatherandmotherbywhichIknewwhatshewouldbelikeinthirtyyearstime。I

notedthegleamofgoldfromadeadtoothinthelaughingmouth：

Imadecuriousobservationsofthestrangeodorsofthechemistryofthenerves。Thevisionsofmyromanticreveries，inwhichI

hadtrodtheplainsofheavenwithadeathless，agelesscreatureofcoralandivory，desertedmeinthatsupremehour。I

rememberedthemanddesperatelystrovetorecovertheirillusion；

buttheynowseemedtheemptiestofinventions：myjudgmentwasnottobecorrupted：mybrainstillsaidNooneveryissue。AndwhilstIwasintheactofframingmyexcusetothelady，Lifeseizedmeandthrewmeintoherarmsasasailorthrowsascrapoffishintothemouthofaseabird。

THESTATUE。Youmightaswellhavegonewithoutthinkingsuchalotaboutit，Juan。Youarelikealltheclevermen：youhavemorebrainsthanisgoodforyou。

THEDEVIL。Andwereyounotthehappierfortheexperience，SenorDonJuan？

DONJUAN。Thehappier，no：thewiser，yes。Thatmomentintroducedmeforthefirsttimetomyself，and，throughmyself，totheworld。IsawthenhowuselessitistoattempttoimposeconditionsontheirresistibleforceofLife；topreachprudence，carefulselection，virtue，honor，chastity——

ANA。DonJuan：awordagainstchastityisaninsulttome。

DONJUAN。Isaynothingagainstyourchastity，Senora，sinceittooktheformofahusbandandtwelvechildren。Whatmorecouldyouhavedonehadyoubeenthemostabandonedofwomen？

ANA。Icouldhavehadtwelvehusbandsandnochildrenthat’swhatIcouldhavedone，Juan。AndletmetellyouthatthatwouldhavemadeallthedifferencetotheearthwhichIreplenished。

THESTATUE。BravoAna！Juan：youarefloored，quelled，annihilated。

DONJUAN。No；forthoughthatdifferenceisthetrueessentialdifference——DonaAnahas，Iadmit，gonestraighttotherealpoint——yetitisnotadifferenceofloveorchastity，orevenconstancy；fortwelvechildrenbytwelvedifferenthusbandswouldhavereplenishedtheearthperhapsmoreeffectively。SupposemyfriendOttaviohaddiedwhenyouwerethirty，youwouldneverhaveremainedawidow：youweretoobeautiful。SupposethesuccessorofOttaviohaddiedwhenyouwereforty，youwouldstillhavebeenirresistible；andawomanwhomarriestwicemarriesthreetimesifshebecomesfreetodoso。Twelvelawfulchildrenbornebyonehighlyrespectableladytothreedifferentfathersisnotimpossiblenorcondemnedbypublicopinion。Thatsuchaladymaybemorelawabidingthanthepoorgirlwhomweusedtospurnintothegutterforbearingoneunlawfulinfantisnodoubttrue；butdareyousaysheislessself—indulgent？

ANA。Sheislessvirtuous：thatisenoughforme。

DONJUAN。Inthatcase，whatisvirtuebuttheTradeUnionismofthemarried？Letusfacethefacts，dearAna。TheLifeForcerespectsmarriageonlybecausemarriageisacontrivanceofitsowntosecurethegreatestnumberofchildrenandtheclosestcareofthem。Forhonor，chastityandalltherestofyourmoralfigmentsitcaresnotarap。Marriageisthemostlicentiousofhumaninstitutions——

ANA。Juan！

THESTATUE。[protesting]Really！——

DONJUAN。[determinedly]Isaythemostlicentiousofhumaninstitutions：thatisthesecretofitspopularity。Andawomanseekingahusbandisthemostunscrupulousofallthebeastsofprey。Theconfusionofmarriagewithmoralityhasdonemoretodestroytheconscienceofthehumanracethananyothersingleerror。Come，Ana！donotlookshocked：youknowbetterthananyofusthatmarriageisamantrapbaitedwithsimulatedaccomplishmentsanddelusiveidealizations。Whenyoursaintedmother，bydintofscoldingsandpunishments，forcedyoutolearnhowtoplayhalfadozenpiecesonthespinetwhichshehatedasmuchasyoudid——hadsheanyotherpurposethantodeludeyoursuitorsintothebeliefthatyourhusbandwouldhaveinhishomeanangelwhowouldfillitwithmelody，oratleastplayhimtosleepafterdinner？YoumarriedmyfriendOttavio：well，didyoueveropenthespinetfromthehourwhentheChurchunitedhimtoyou？

ANA。Youareafool，Juan。Ayoungmarriedwomanhassomethingelsetodothansitatthespinetwithoutanysupportforherback；soshegetsoutofthehabitofplaying。

DONJUAN。Notifshelovesmusic。No：believeme，sheonlythrowsawaythebaitwhenthebirdisinthenet。

ANA。[bitterly]Andmen，Isuppose，neverthrowoffthemaskwhentheirbirdisinthenet。Thehusbandneverbecomesnegligent，selfish，brutal——ohnever！

DONJUAN。Whatdotheserecriminationsprove，Ana？Onlythattheheroisasgrossanimpostureastheheroine。

ANA。Itisallnonsense：mostmarriagesareperfectlycomfortable。

DONJUAN。"Perfectly"isastrongexpression，Ana。Whatyoumeanisthatsensiblepeoplemakethebestofoneanother。Sendmetothegalleysandchainmetothefelonwhosenumberhappenstobenextbeforemine；andImustaccepttheinevitableandmakethebestofthecompanionship。Manysuchcompanionships，theytellme，aretouchinglyaffectionate；andmostareatleasttolerablyfriendly。Butthatdoesnotmakeachainadesirableornamentnorthegalleysanabodeofbliss。Thosewhotalkmostabouttheblessingsofmarriageandtheconstancyofitsvowsaretheverypeoplewhodeclarethatifthechainwerebrokenandtheprisonersleftfreetochoose，thewholesocialfabricwouldflyasunder。Youcannothavetheargumentbothways。Iftheprisonerishappy，whylockhimin？Ifheisnot，whypretendthatheis？

ANA。Atallevents，letmetakeanoldwoman’sprivilegeagain，andtellyouflatlythatmarriagepeoplestheworldanddebaucherydoesnot。

DONJUAN。Howifatimecomeswhenthisshallceasetobetrue？Doyounotknowthatwherethereisawillthereisaway——thatwhateverManreallywishestodohewillfinallydiscoverameansofdoing？Well，youhavedoneyourbest，youvirtuousladies，andothersofyourwayofthinking，tobendMan’smindwhollytowardshonorableloveasthehighestgood，andtounderstandbyhonorableloveromanceandbeautyandhappinessinthepossessionofbeautiful，refined，delicate，affectionatewomen。Youhavetaughtwomentovaluetheirownyouth，health，shapeliness，andrefinementaboveallthings。Well，whatplacehavesquallingbabiesandhouseholdcaresinthisexquisiteparadiseofthesensesandemotions？Isitnottheinevitableendofitallthatthehumanwillshallsaytothehumanbrain：InventmeameansbywhichIcanhavelove，beauty，romance，emotion，passionwithouttheirwretchedpenalties，theirexpenses，theirworries，theirtrials，theirillnessesandagoniesandrisksofdeath，theirretinueofservantsandnursesanddoctorsandschoolmasters。

THEDEVIL。Allthis，SenorDonJuan，isrealizedhereinmyrealm。

DONJUAN。Yes，atthecostofdeath。Manwillnottakeitatthatprice：hedemandstheromanticdelightsofyourhellwhilstheisstillonearth。Well，themeanswillbefound：thebrainwillnotfailwhenthewillisinearnest。Thedayiscomingwhengreatnationswillfindtheirnumbersdwindlingfromcensustocensus；

whenthesixroomedvillawillriseinpriceabovethefamilymansion；whentheviciouslyrecklesspoorandthestupidlypiousrichwilldelaytheextinctionoftheraceonlybydegradingit；

whilsttheboldlyprudent，thethriftilyselfishandambitious，theimaginativeandpoetic，theloversofmoneyandsolidcomfort，theworshippersofsuccess，art，andoflove，willallopposetotheForceofLifethedeviceofsterility。

THESTATUE。Thatisallveryeloquent，myyoungfriend；butifyouhadlivedtoAna’sage，oreventomine，youwouldhavelearnedthatthepeoplewhogetridofthefearofpovertyandchildrenandalltheotherfamilytroubles，anddevotethemselvestohavingagoodtimeofit，onlyleavetheirmindsfreeforthefearofoldageanduglinessandimpotenceanddeath。Thechildlesslaborerismoretormentedbyhiswife’sidlenessandherconstantdemandsforamusementanddistractionthanhecouldbebytwentychildren；andhiswifeismorewretchedthanhe。I

havehadmyshareofvanity；forasayoungmanIwasadmiredbywomen；andasastatueIampraisedbyartcritics。ButIconfessthathadIfoundnothingtodointheworldbutwallowinthesedelightsIshouldhavecutmythroat。WhenImarriedAna’smother——orperhaps，tobestrictlycorrect，IshouldrathersaywhenIatlastgaveinandallowedAna’smothertomarryme——I

knewthatIwasplantingthornsinmypillow，andthatmarriageforme，aswaggeringyoungofficerthithertounvanquished，meantdefeatandcapture。

ANA。[scandalized]Father！

THESTATUE。Iamsorrytoshockyou，mylove；butsinceJuanhasstrippedeveryragofdecencyfromthediscussionImayaswelltellthefrozentruth。

ANA。Hmf！IsupposeIwasoneofthethorns。

THESTATUE。Bynomeans：youwereoftenarose。Yousee，yourmotherhadmostofthetroubleyougave。

DONJUAN。ThenmayIask，Commander，whyyouhaveleftHeaventocomehereandwallow，asyouexpressit，insentimentalbeatitudeswhichyouconfesswouldoncehavedrivenyoutocutyourthroat？

THESTATUE。[struckbythis]Egad，that’strue。

THEDEVIL。[alarmed]What！Youaregoingbackfromyourword。[ToDonJuan]Andallyourphilosophizinghasbeennothingbutamaskforproselytizing！[TotheStatue]HaveyouforgottenalreadythehideousdulnessfromwhichIamofferingyouarefugehere？[ToDonJuan]Anddoesyourdemonstrationoftheapproachingsterilizationandextinctionofmankindleadtoanythingbetterthanmakingthemostofthosepleasuresofartandlovewhichyouyourselfadmitrefinedyou，elevatedyou，developedyou？

DONJUAN。Ineverdemonstratedtheextinctionofmankind。Lifecannotwillitsownextinctioneitherinitsblindamorphousstateorinanyoftheformsintowhichithasorganizeditself。

IhadnotfinishedwhenHisExcellencyinterruptedme。

THESTATUE。Ibegintodoubtwhetheryoueverwillfinish，myfriend。Youareextremelyfondofhearingyourselftalk。

DONJUAN。True；butsinceyouhaveenduredsomuch。youmayaswellenduretotheend。LongbeforethissterilizationwhichI

describedbecomesmorethanaclearlyforeseenpossibility，thereactionwillbegin。Thegreatcentralpurposeofbreedingtherace，ay，breedingittoheightsnowdeemedsuperhuman：thatpurposewhichisnowhiddeninamephiticcloudofloveandromanceandpruderyandfastidiousness，willbreakthroughintoclearsunlightasapurposenolongertobeconfusedwiththegratificationofpersonalfancies，theimpossiblerealizationofboys’andgirls’dreamsofbliss，ortheneedofolderpeopleforcompanionshipormoney。Theplain—spokenmarriageservicesofthevernacularChurcheswillnolongerbeabbreviatedandhalfsuppressedasindelicate。Thesoberdecency，earnestnessandauthorityoftheirdeclarationoftherealpurposeofmarriagewillbehonoredandaccepted，whilsttheirromanticvowingsandpledgingsanduntil—death—do—us—partingsandthelikewillbeexpungedasunbearablefrivolities。Domysexthejusticetoadmit，Senora，thatwehavealwaysrecognizedthatthesexrelationisnotapersonalorfriendlyrelationatall。

ANA。Notapersonalorfriendlyrelation！Whatrelationismorepersonal？moresacred？moreholy？

DONJUAN。Sacredandholy，ifyoulike，Ana，butnotpersonallyfriendly。YourrelationtoGodissacredandholy：dareyoucallitpersonallyfriendly？Inthesexrelationtheuniversalcreativeenergy，ofwhichthepartiesareboththehelplessagents，over—ridesandsweepsawayallpersonalconsiderationsanddispenseswithallpersonalrelations。Thepairmaybeutterstrangerstooneanother，speakingdifferentlanguages，differinginraceandcolor，inageanddisposition，withnobondbetweenthembutapossibilityofthatfecundityforthesakeofwhichtheLifeForcethrowsthemintooneanother’sarmsattheexchangeofaglance。Dowenotrecognizethisbyallowingmarriagestobemadebyparentswithoutconsultingthewoman？

HaveyounotoftenexpressedyourdisgustattheimmoralityoftheEnglishnation，inwhichwomenandmenofnoblebirthbecomeacquaintedandcourteachotherlikepeasants？Andhowmuchdoeseventhepeasantknowofhisbrideorsheofhimbeforeheengageshimself？Why，youwouldnotmakeamanyourlawyeroryourfamilydoctoronsoslightanacquaintanceasyouwouldfallinlovewithandmarryhim！

ANA。Yes，Juan：weknowthelibertine’sphilosophy。Alwaysignoretheconsequencestothewoman。

DONJUAN。Theconsequences，yes：theyjustifyherfiercegripoftheman。Butsurelyyoudonotcallthatattachmentasentimentalone。Aswellcallthepoliceman’sattachmenttohisprisoneraloverelation。

ANA。Youseeyouhavetoconfessthatmarriageisnecessary，though，accordingtoyou，loveistheslightestofalltherelations。

DONJUAN。Howdoyouknowthatitisnotthegreatestofalltherelations？fartoogreattobeapersonalmatter。CouldyourfatherhaveservedhiscountryifhehadrefusedtokillanyenemyofSpainunlesshepersonallyhatedhim？Canawomanservehercountryifsherefusestomarryanymanshedoesnotpersonallylove？Youknowitisnotso：thewomanofnoblebirthmarriesasthemanofnoblebirthfights，onpoliticalandfamilygrounds，notonpersonalones。

THESTATUE。[impressed]Averycleverpointthat，Juan：Imustthinkitover。Youarereallyfullofideas。Howdidyoucometothinkofthisone？

DONJUAN。Ilearntitbyexperience。WhenIwasonearth，andmadethoseproposalstoladieswhich，thoughuniversallycondemned，havemademesointerestingaherooflegend，Iwasnotinfrequentlymetinsomesuchwayasthis。Theladywouldsaythatshewouldcountenancemyadvances，providedtheywerehonorable。Oninquiringwhatthatprovisomeant，IfoundthatitmeantthatIproposedtogetpossessionofherpropertyifshehadany，ortoundertakehersupportforlifeifshehadnot；

thatIdesiredhercontinualcompanionship，counselandconversationtotheendofmydays，andwouldbindmyselfunderpenaltiestobealwaysenrapturedbythem；and，aboveall，thatIwouldturnmybackonallotherwomenforeverforhersake。Ididnotobjecttotheseconditionsbecausetheywereexorbitantandinhuman：itwastheirextraordinaryirrelevancethatprostratedme。IinvariablyrepliedwithperfectfranknessthatIhadneverdreamtofanyofthesethings；thatunlessthelady’scharacterandintellectwereequalorsuperiortomyown，herconversationmustdegradeandhercounselmisleadme；thatherconstantcompanionshipmight，forallIknew，becomeintolerablytedioustome；thatIcouldnotanswerformyfeelingsforaweekinadvance，muchlesstotheendofmylife；

thattocutmeofffromallnaturalandunconstrainedrelationswiththerestofmyfellowcreatureswouldnarrowandwarpmeifIsubmittedtoit，and，ifnot，wouldbringmeunderthecurseofclandestinity；that，finally，myproposalstoherwerewhollyunconnectedwithanyofthesematters，andweretheoutcomeofaperfectlysimpleimpulseofmymanhoodtowardsherwomanhood。

ANA。Youmeanthatitwasanimmoralimpulse。

DONJUAN。Nature，mydearlady，iswhatyoucallimmoral。Iblushforit；butIcannothelpit。Natureisapandar，Timeawrecker，andDeathamurderer。Ihavealwayspreferredtostanduptothosefactsandbuildinstitutionsontheirrecognition。Youprefertopropitiatethethreedevilsbyproclaimingtheirchastity，theirthrift，andtheirlovingkindness；andtobaseyourinstitutionsontheseflatteries。Isitanywonderthattheinstitutionsdonotworksmoothly？

THESTATUE。Whatusedtheladiestosay，Juan？

DONJUAN。Oh，come！Confidenceforconfidence。Firsttellmewhatyouusedtosaytotheladies。

THESTATUE。I！Oh，IsworethatIwouldbefaithfultothedeath；

thatIshoulddieiftheyrefusedme；thatnowomancouldeverbetomewhatshewas——

ANA。She？Who？

THESTATUE。Whoeverithappenedtobeatthetime，mydear。IhadcertainthingsIalwayssaid。OneofthemwasthatevenwhenI

waseighty，onewhitehairofthewomanIlovedwouldmakemetremblemorethanthethickestgoldtressfromthemostbeautifulyounghead。AnotherwasthatIcouldnotbearthethoughtofanyoneelsebeingthemotherofmychildren。

DONJUAN。[revolted]Youoldrascal！

THESTATUE。[Stoutly]Notabit；forIreallybelieveditwithallmysoulatthemoment。Ihadaheart：notlikeyou。Anditwasthissinceritythatmademesuccessful。

DONJUAN。Sincerity！Tobefoolenoughtobelievearamping，stamping，thumpinglie：thatiswhatyoucallsincerity！Tobesogreedyforawomanthatyoudeceiveyourselfinyoureagernesstodeceiveher：sincerity，youcallit！

THESTATUE。Oh，damnyoursophistries！Iwasamaninlove，notalawyer。Andthewomenlovedmeforit，blessthem！

DONJUAN。Theymadeyouthinkso。WhatwillyousaywhenItellyouthatthoughIplayedthelawyersocallously，theymademethinksotoo？IalsohadmymomentsofinfatuationinwhichI

gushednonsenseandbelievedit。SometimesthedesiretogivepleasurebysayingbeautifulthingssoroseinmeonthefloodofemotionthatIsaidthemrecklessly。AtothertimesIarguedagainstmyselfwithadevilishcoldnessthatdrewtears。ButI

founditjustashardtoescapeintheonecaseasintheothers。

Whenthelady’sinstinctwassetonme，therewasnothingforitbutlifelongservitudeorflight。

ANA。Youdareboast，beforemeandmyfather，thateverywomanfoundyouirresistible。

DONJUAN。AmIboasting？ItseemstomethatIcutthemostpitiableoffigures。Besides，Isaid"whenthelady’sinstinctwassetonme。"Itwasnotalwaysso；andthen，heavens！whattransportsofvirtuousindignation！whatoverwhelmingdefiancetothedastardlyseducer！whatscenesofImogenandIachimo！

ANA。Imadenoscenes。Isimplycalledmyfather。

DONJUAN。Andhecame，swordinhand，tovindicateoutragedhonorandmoralitybymurderingme。

THESTATUE。Murdering！Whatdoyoumean？DidIkillyouordidyoukillme？

DONJUAN。Whichofuswasthebetterfencer？

THESTATUE。Iwas。

DONJUAN。Ofcourseyouwere。Andyetyou，theheroofthosescandalousadventuresyouhavejustbeenrelatingtous，youhadtheeffronterytoposeastheavengerofoutragedmoralityandcondemnmetodeath！Youwouldhaveslainmebutforanaccident。

THESTATUE。Iwasexpectedto，Juan。Thatishowthingswerearrangedonearth。Iwasnotasocialreformer；andIalwaysdidwhatitwascustomaryforagentlemantodo。

DONJUAN。Thatmayaccountforyourattackingme，butnotfortherevoltinghypocrisyofyoursubsequentproceedingsasastatue。

THESTATUE。ThatallcameofmygoingtoHeaven。

THEDEVIL。Istillfailtosee，SenorDonJuan，thattheseepisodesinyourearthlycareerandinthatoftheSenorCommanderinanywaydiscreditmyviewoflife。Here，Irepeat，youhaveallthatyousoughtwithoutanythingthatyoushrankfrom。

DONJUAN。Onthecontrary，hereIhaveeverythingthatdisappointedmewithoutanythingthatIhavenotalreadytriedandfoundwanting。ItellyouthataslongasIcanconceivesomethingbetterthanmyselfIcannotbeeasyunlessIamstrivingtobringitintoexistenceorclearingthewayforit。

Thatisthelawofmylife。ThatistheworkingwithinmeofLife’sincessantaspirationtohigherorganization，wider，deeper，intenserself—consciousness，andclearerself—understanding。Itwasthesupremacyofthispurposethatreducedloveformetothemerepleasureofamoment，artformetothemereschoolingofmyfaculties，religionformetoamereexcuseforlaziness，sinceithadsetupaGodwholookedattheworldandsawthatitwasgood，againsttheinstinctinmethatlookedthroughmyeyesattheworldandsawthatitcouldbeimproved。Itellyouthatinthepursuitofmyownpleasure，myownhealth，myownfortune，Ihaveneverknownhappiness。ItwasnotloveforWomanthatdeliveredmeintoherhands：itwasfatigue，exhaustion。WhenIwasachild，andbruisedmyheadagainstastone，Irantothenearestwomanandcriedawaymypainagainstherapron。WhenIgrewup，andbruisedmysoulagainstthebrutalitiesandstupiditieswithwhichIhadtostrive，IdidagainjustwhatIhaddoneasachild。Ihaveenjoyed，too，myrests，myrecuperations，mybreathingtimes，myveryprostrationsafterstrife；butratherwouldIbedraggedthroughallthecirclesofthefoolishItalian’sInfernothanthroughthepleasuresofEurope。Thatiswhathasmadethisplaceofeternalpleasuressodeadlytome。ItistheabsenceofthisinstinctinyouthatmakesyouthatstrangemonstercalledaDevil。Itisthesuccesswithwhichyouhavedivertedtheattentionofmenfromtheirrealpurpose，whichinonedegreeoranotheristhesameasmine，toyours，thathasearnedyouthenameofTheTempter。Itisthefactthattheyaredoingyourwill，orratherdriftingwithyourwantofwill，insteadofdoingtheirown，thatmakesthemtheuncomfortable，false，restless，artificial，petulant，wretchedcreaturestheyare。

THEDEVIL。[mortified]SenorDonJuan：youareunciviltomyfriends。

DONJUAN。Pooh！whyshouldIbeciviltothemortoyou？InthisPalaceofLiesatruthortwowillnothurtyou。YourfriendsareallthedullestdogsIknow。Theyarenotbeautiful：theyareonlydecorated。Theyarenotclean：theyareonlyshavedandstarched。Theyarenotdignified：theyareonlyfashionablydressed。Theyarenoteducatedtheyareonlycollegepassmen。

Theyarenotreligious：theyareonlypewrenters。Theyarenotmoral：theyareonlyconventional。Theyarenotvirtuous：theyareonlycowardly。Theyarenotevenvicious：theyareonly"frail。"Theyarenotartistic：theyareonlylascivious。Theyarenotprosperous：theyareonlyrich。Theyarenotloyal，theyareonlyservile；notdutiful，onlysheepish；notpublicspirited，onlypatriotic；notcourageous，onlyquarrelsome；notdetermined，onlyobstinate；notmasterful，onlydomineering；notself—controlled，onlyobtuse；notself—respecting，onlyvain；notkind，onlysentimental；notsocial，onlygregarious；notconsiderate，onlypolite；notintelligent，onlyopinionated；notprogressive，onlyfactious；notimaginative，onlysuperstitious；

notjust，onlyvindictive；notgenerous，onlypropitiatory；notdisciplined，onlycowed；andnottruthfulatall——liarseveryoneofthem，totheverybackboneoftheirsouls。

THESTATUE。Yourflowofwordsissimplyamazing，Juan。HowI

wishIcouldhavetalkedlikethattomysoldiers。

THEDEVIL。Itismeretalk，though。Ithasallbeensaidbefore；

butwhatchangehasitevermade？Whatnoticehastheworldevertakenofit？

DONJUAN。Yes，itismeretalk。Butwhyisitmeretalk？Because，myfriend，beauty，purity，respectability，religion，morality，art，patriotism，braveryandtherestarenothingbutwordswhichIoranyoneelsecanturninsideoutlikeaglove。Weretheyrealities，youwouldhavetopleadguiltytomyindictment；butfortunatelyforyourself—respect，mydiabolicalfriend，theyarenotrealities。Asyousay，theyaremerewords，usefulfordupingbarbariansintoadoptingcivilization，orthecivilizedpoorintosubmittingtoberobbedandenslaved。Thatisthefamilysecretofthegoverningcaste；andifwewhoareofthatcasteaimedatmoreLifefortheworldinsteadofatmorepowerandluxuryforourmiserableselves，thatsecretwouldmakeusgreat。Now，sinceI，beinganobleman，aminthesecrettoo，thinkhowtedioustomemustbeyourunendingcantaboutallthesemoralisticfigments，andhowsqualidlydisastrousyoursacrificeofyourlivestothem！Ifyouevenbelievedinyourmoralgameenoughtoplayitfairly，itwouldbeinterestingtowatch；butyoudon’t：

youcheatateverytrick；andifyouropponentoutcheatsyou，youupsetthetableandtrytomurderhim。

THEDEVIL。Onearththeremaybesometruthinthis，becausethepeopleareuneducatedandcannotappreciatemyreligionofloveandbeauty；buthere——

DONJUAN。Ohyes：Iknow。Herethereisnothingbutloveandbeauty。Ugh！itislikesittingforalleternityatthefirstactofafashionableplay，beforethecomplicationsbegin。NeverinmyworstmomentsofsuperstitiousterroronearthdidIdreamthatHellwassohorrible。Ilive，likeahairdresser，inthecontinualcontemplationofbeauty，toyingwithsilkentresses。I

breatheanatmosphereofsweetness，likeaconfectioner’sshopboy。Commander：arethereanybeautifulwomeninHeaven？

THESTATUE。None。Absolutelynone。Alldowdies。Nottwopennorthofjewelleryamongadozenofthem。Theymightbemenoffifty。

DONJUAN。Iamimpatienttogetthere。Isthewordbeautyevermentioned；andarethereanyartisticpeople？

THESTATUE。Igiveyoumywordtheywon’tadmireafinestatueevenwhenitwalkspastthem。

DONJUAN。Igo。

THEDEVIL。DonJuan：shallIbefrankwithyou？

DONJUAN。Wereyounotsobefore？

THEDEVIL。AsfarasIwent，yes。ButIwillnowgofurther，andconfesstoyouthatmengettiredofeverything，ofheavennolessthanofhell；andthatallhistoryisnothingbutarecordoftheoscillationsoftheworldbetweenthesetwoextremes。Anepochisbutaswingofthependulum；andeachgenerationthinkstheworldisprogressingbecauseitisalwaysmoving。ButwhenyouareasoldasIam；whenyouhaveathousandtimesweariedofheaven，likemyselfandtheCommander，andathousandtimesweariedofhell，asyouareweariednow，youwillnolongerimaginethateveryswingfromheaventohellisanemancipation，everyswingfromhelltoheavenanevolution。Whereyounowseereform，progress，fulfilmentofupwardtendency，continualascentbyManonthesteppingstonesofhisdeadselvestohigherthings，youwillseenothingbutaninfinitecomedyofillusion。

YouwilldiscovertheprofoundtruthofthesayingofmyfriendKoheleth，thatthereisnothingnewunderthesun。Vanitasvanitatum——

DONJUAN。[outofallpatience]ByHeaven，thisisworsethanyourcantaboutloveandbeauty。Cleverdoltthatyouare，isamannobetterthanaworm，oradogthanawolf，becausehegetstiredofeverything？Shallhegiveupeatingbecausehedestroyshisappetiteintheactofgratifyingit？Isafieldidlewhenitisfallow？CantheCommanderexpendhishellishenergyherewithoutaccumulatingheavenlyenergyforhisnexttermofblessedness？GrantedthatthegreatLifeForcehashitonthedeviceoftheclockmaker’spendulum，andusestheearthforitsbob；thatthehistoryofeachoscillation，whichseemssonoveltoustheactors，isbutthehistoryofthelastoscillationrepeated；naymore，thatintheunthinkableinfinitudeoftimethesunthrowsofftheearthandcatchesitagainathousandtimesasacircusriderthrowsupaball，andthatthetotalofallourepochsisbutthemomentbetweenthetossandthecatch，hasthecolossalmechanismnopurpose？

THEDEVIL。None，myfriend。Youthink，becauseyouhaveapurpose，Naturemusthaveone。Youmightaswellexpectittohavefingersandtoesbecauseyouhavethem。

DONJUAN。ButIshouldnothavethemiftheyservednopurpose。

AndI，myfriend，amasmuchapartofNatureasmyownfingerisapartofme。IfmyfingeristheorganbywhichIgrasptheswordandthemandoline，mybrainistheorganbywhichNaturestrivestounderstanditself。Mydog’sbrainservesonlymydog’spurposes；butmybrainlaborsataknowledgewhichdoesnothingformepersonallybutmakemybodybittertomeandmydecayanddeathacalamity。WereInotpossessedwithapurposebeyondmyownIhadbetterbeaploughmanthanaphilosopher；fortheploughmanlivesaslongasthephilosopher，eatsmore，sleepsbetter，andrejoicesinthewifeofhisbosomwithlessmisgiving。ThisisbecausethephilosopherisinthegripoftheLifeForce。ThisLifeForcesaystohim"Ihavedoneathousandwonderfulthingsunconsciouslybymerelywillingtoliveandfollowingthelineofleastresistance：nowIwanttoknowmyselfandmydestination，andchoosemypath；soIhavemadeaspecialbrain——aphilosopher’sbrain——tograspthisknowledgeformeasthehusbandman’shandgraspstheploughforme。"Andthis"saystheLifeForcetothephilosopher"mustthoustrivetodoformeuntilthoudiest，whenIwillmakeanotherbrainandanotherphilosophertocarryonthework。"

THEDEVIL。Whatistheuseofknowing？

DONJUAN。Why，tobeabletochoosethelineofgreatestadvantageinsteadofyieldinginthedirectionoftheleastresistance。Doesashipsailtoitsdestinationnobetterthanalogdriftsnowhither？ThephilosopherisNature’spilot。Andthereyouhaveourdifference：tobeinhellistodrift：tobeinheavenistosteer。

THEDEVIL。Ontherocks，mostlikely。

DONJUAN。Pooh！whichshipgoesoftenestontherocksortothebottom——thedriftingshiportheshipwithapilotonboard？

THEDEVIL。Well，well，goyourway，SenorDonJuan。Iprefertobemyownmasterandnotthetoolofanyblunderinguniversalforce。Iknowthatbeautyisgoodtolookat；thatmusicisgoodtohear；thatloveisgoodtofeel；andthattheyareallgoodtothinkaboutandtalkabout。Iknowthattobewellexercisedinthesesensations，emotions，andstudiesistobearefinedandcultivatedbeing。Whatevertheymaysayofmeinchurchesonearth，IknowthatitisuniversallyadmittedingoodsocietythattheprinceofDarknessisagentleman；andthatisenoughforme。AstoyourLifeForce，whichyouthinkirresistible，itisthemostresistiblethingintheworldforapersonofanycharacter。Butifyouarenaturallyvulgarandcredulous，asallreformersare，itwillthrustyoufirstintoreligion，whereyouwillsprinklewateronbabiestosavetheirsoulsfromme；thenitwilldriveyoufromreligionintoscience，whereyouwillsnatchthebabiesfromthewatersprinklingandinoculatethemwithdiseasetosavethemfromcatchingitaccidentally；thenyouwilltaketopolitics，whereyouwillbecomethecatspawofcorruptfunctionariesandthehenchmanofambitioushumbugs；andtheendwillbedespairanddecrepitude，brokennerveandshatteredhopes，vainregretsforthatworstandsilliestofwastesandsacrifices，thewasteandsacrificeofthepowerofenjoyment：inaword，thepunishmentofthefoolwhopursuesthebetterbeforehehassecuredthegood。

DONJUAN。ButatleastIshallnotbebored。TheserviceoftheLifeForcehasthatadvantage，atallevents。Sofareyouwell，SenorSatan。

THEDEVIL。[amiably]Fareyouwell，DonJuan。Ishalloftenthinkofourinterestingchatsaboutthingsingeneral。Iwishyoueveryhappiness：Heaven，asIsaidbefore，suitssomepeople。Butifyoushouldchangeyourmind，donotforgetthatthegatesarealwaysopenheretotherepentantprodigal。Ifyoufeelatanytimethatwarmthofheart，sincereunforcedaffection，innocentenjoyment，andwarm，breathing，palpitatingreality——

DONJUAN。Whynotsayfleshandbloodatonce，thoughwehaveleftthosetwogreasycommonplacesbehindus？

THEDEVIL。[angrily]Youthrowmyfriendlyfarewellbackinmyteeth，then，DonJuan？

DONJUAN。Bynomeans。Butthoughthereismuchtobelearntfromacynicaldevil，Ireallycannotstandasentimentalone。SenorCommander：youknowthewaytothefrontierofhellandheaven。

Begoodenoughtodirectme。

THESTATUE。Oh，thefrontierisonlythedifferencebetweentwowaysoflookingatthings。Anyroadwilltakeyouacrossitifyoureallywanttogetthere。

DONJUAN。Good。[salutingDonaAna]Senora：yourservant。

ANA。ButIamgoingwithyou。

DONJUAN。Icanfindmyownwaytoheaven，Ana；butIcannotfindyours[hevanishes]。

ANA。Howannoying！

THESTATUE。[callingafterhim]Bonvoyage，Juan！[Hewaftsafinalblastofhisgreatrollingchordsafterhimasapartingsalute。Afaintechoofthefirstghostlymelodycomesbackinacknowledgment]。Ah！therehegoes。[Puffingalongbreathoutthroughhislips]Whew！Howhedoestalk！They’llneverstanditinheaven。

THEDEVIL。[gloomily]Hisgoingisapoliticaldefeat。IcannotkeeptheseLifeWorshippers：theyallgo。ThisisthegreatestlossIhavehadsincethatDutchpainterwent——afellowwhowouldpaintahagof70withasmuchenjoymentasaVenusof20。

THESTATUE。Iremember：hecametoheaven。Rembrandt。

THEDEVIL。Ay，Rembrandt。Thereasomethingunnaturalaboutthesefellows。Donotlistentotheirgospel，SenorCommander：itisdangerous。BewareofthepursuitoftheSuperhuman：itleadstoanindiscriminatecontemptfortheHuman。Toaman，horsesanddogsandcatsaremerespecies，outsidethemoralworld。Well，totheSuperman，menandwomenareamerespeciestoo，alsooutsidethemoralworld。ThisDonJuanwaskindtowomenandcourteoustomenasyourdaughterherewaskindtoherpetcatsanddogs；butsuchkindnessisadenialoftheexclusivelyhumancharacterofthesoul。

THESTATUE。AndwhothedeuceistheSuperman？

THEDEVIL。Oh，thelatestfashionamongtheLifeForcefanatics。

DidyounotmeetinHeaven，amongthenewarrivals，thatGermanPolishmadman——whatwashisname？Nietzsche？

THESTATUE。Neverheardofhim。

THEDEVIL。Well，hecameherefirst，beforeherecoveredhiswits。Ihadsomehopesofhim；buthewasaconfirmedLifeForceworshipper。ItwashewhorakeduptheSuperman，whoisasoldasPrometheus；andthe20thcenturywillrunafterthisnewestoftheoldcrazeswhenitgetstiredoftheworld，theflesh，andyourhumbleservant。

THESTATUE。Supermanisagoodcry；andagoodcryishalfthebattle。IshouldliketoseethisNietzsche。

THEDEVIL。UnfortunatelyhemetWagnerhere，andhadaquarrelwithhim。

THESTATUE。Quiteright，too。Mozartforme！

THEDEVIL。Oh，itwasnotaboutmusic。WagneroncedriftedintoLifeForceworship，andinventedaSupermancalledSiegfried。Buthecametohissensesafterwards。Sowhentheymethere，Nietzschedenouncedhimasarenegade；andWagnerwroteapamphlettoprovethatNietzschewasaJew；anditendedinNietzsche’sgoingtoheaveninahuff。Andagoodriddancetoo。Andnow，myfriend，letushastentomypalaceandcelebrateyourarrivalwithagrandmusicalservice。

THESTATUE。Withpleasure：you’remostkind。

THEDEVIL。Thisway，Commander。Wegodowntheoldtrap[heplaceshimselfonthegravetrap]。

THESTATUE。Good。[Reflectively]Allthesame，theSupermanisafineconception。Thereissomethingstatuesqueaboutit。[HeplaceshimselfonthegravetrapbesideTheDevil。Itbeginstodescendslowly。Redglowfromtheabyss]。Ah，thisremindsmeofoldtimes。

THEDEVIL。Andmealso。

ANA。Stop！[Thetrapstops]。

THEDEVIL。You，Senora，cannotcomethisway。Youwillhaveanapotheosis。Butyouwillbeatthepalacebeforeus。

ANA。ThatisnotwhatIstoppedyoufor。TellmewherecanIfindtheSuperman？

THEDEVIL。Heisnotyetcreated，Senora。

THESTATUE。Andneverwillbe，probably。Letusproceed：theredfirewillmakemesneeze。[Theydescend]。

ANA。Notyetcreated！Thenmyworkisnotyetdone。[Crossingherselfdevoutly]IbelieveintheLifetoCome。[Cryingtotheuniverse]Afather——afatherfortheSuperman！

Shevanishesintothevoid；andagainthereisnothing：allexistenceseemssuspendedinfinitely。Then，vaguely，thereisalivehumanvoicecryingsomewhere。Onesees，withashock，amountainpeakshowingfaintlyagainstalighterbackground。Theskyhasreturnedfromafar；andwesuddenlyrememberwherewewere。Thecrybecomesdistinctandurgent：itsaysAutomobile，Automobile。Thecompleterealitycomesbackwitharush：inamomentitisfullmorningintheSierra；andthebrigandsarescramblingtotheirfeetandmakingfortheroadasthegoatherdrunsdownfromthehill，warningthemoftheapproachofanothermotor。TannerandMendozariseamazedlyandstareatoneanotherwithscatteredwits。Strakersitsuptoyawnforamomentbeforehegetsonhisfeet，makingitapointofhonornottoshowanyundueinterestintheexcitementofthebandits。Mendozagivesaquicklooktoseethathisfollowersareattendingtothealarm；

thenexchangesaprivatewordwithTanner。

MENDOZA。Didyoudream？

TANNER。Damnably。Didyou？

MENDOZA。Yes。Iforgetwhat。Youwereinit。

TANNER。Sowereyou。AmazingMENDOZA。Iwarnedyou。[ashotisheardfromtheroad]。Dolts！

theywillplaywiththatgun。[Thebrigandscomerunningbackscared]。Whofiredthatshot？[toDuval]Wasityou？

DUVAL。[breathless]Ihavenotshoot。Deyshootfirst。

ANARCHIST。ItoldyoutobeginbyabolishingtheState。Nowwearealllost。

THEROWDYSOCIAL—DEMOCRAT。[stampedingacrosstheamphitheatre]

Run，everybody。

MENDOZA。[collaringhim；throwinghimonhisback；anddrawingaknife]Istabthemanwhostirs。[Heblockstheway。Thestampedeitchecked]。Whathashappened？

THESULKYSOCIAL—DEMOCRAT，Amotor——

THEANARCHIST。Threemen——

DUVAL。Deuxfemmes——

MENDOZA。Threemenandtwowomen！Whyhaveyounotbroughtthemhere？Areyouafraidofthem？

THEROWDYONE。[gettingup]Thyveahescort。Ow，de—oohlut’sookit，Mendowza。

THESULKYONE。Twoarmoredcarsfullosoldiersattheendothevalley。

ANARCHIST。Theshotwasfiredintheair。Itwasasignal。

Strakerwhistleshisfavoriteair，whichfallsontheearsofthebrigandslikeafuneralmarch。

TANNER。Itisnotanescort，butanexpeditiontocaptureyou。Wewereadvisedtowaitforit；butIwasinahurry。

THEROWDYONE。[inanagonyofapprehension]AndOwmygoodLord，ereweare，wytinforem！Lut’stiketothemahntns。

MENDOZA。Idiot，whatdoyouknowaboutthemountains？AreyouaSpaniard？Youwouldbegivenupbythefirstshepherdyoumet。

Besides，wearealreadywithinrangeoftheirrifles。

THEROWDYONE。Bat——

MENDOZA。Silence。Leavethistome。[ToTanner]Comrade：youwillnotbetrayus。

STRAKER。Ooareyoucallincomrade？

MENDOZA。Lastnighttheadvantagewaswithme。Therobberofthepoorwasatthemercyoftherobberoftherich。Youofferedyourhand：Itookit。

TANNER。Ibringnochargeagainstyou，comrade。Wehavespentapleasanteveningwithyou：thatisall。

STRAKER。Igevmyandtonobody，see？

MENDOZA。[turningonhimimpressively]Youngman，ifIamtried，Ishallpleadguilty，andexplainwhatdrovemefromEngland，homeandduty。DoyouwishtohavetherespectablenameofStrakerdraggedthroughthemudofaSpanishcriminalcourt？Thepolicewillsearchme。TheywillfindLouisa’sportrait。Itwillbepublishedintheillustratedpapers。Youblench。Itwillbeyourdoing，remember。

STRAKER。[withbaffledrage]Idon’tcareaboutthecourt。It’savinournamemixedupwithyoursthatIobjectto，youblackmailinswine，you。

MENDOZA。LanguageunworthyofLouisa’sbrother！Butnomatter：

youaremuzzled：thatisenoughforus。[Heturnstofacehisownmen，whobackuneasilyacrosstheamphitheatretowardsthecavetotakerefugebehindhim，asafreshparty，muffledformotoring，comesfromtheroadinriotousspirits。Ann，whomakesstraightforTanner，comesfirst；thenViolet，helpedovertheroughgroundbyHectorholdingherrighthandandRamsdenherleft。Mendozagoestohispresidentialblockandseatshimselfcalmlywithhisrankandfilegroupedbehindhim，andhisStaff，consistingofDuvalandtheAnarchistonhisrightandthetwoSocial—Democratsonhisleft，supportinghiminflank]。

ANN。It’sJack！

TANNER。Caught！

HECTOR。Why，certainlyitis。Isaiditwasyou，Tanner，We’vejustbeenstoppedbyapuncture：theroadisfullofnails。

VIOLET。Whatareyoudoingherewithallthesemen？

ANN。Whydidyouleaveuswithoutawordofwarning？

HECTOR。Iwantthatbunchofroses，MissWhitefield。[ToTanner]

Whenwefoundyouweregone，MissWhitefieldbetmeabunchofrosesmycarwouldnotovertakeyoursbeforeyoureachedMonteCarlo。

TANNER。ButthisisnottheroadtoMonteCarlo。

HECTOR。Nomatter。MissWhitefieldtrackedyouateverystoppingplace：sheisaregularSherlockHolmes。

TANNER。TheLifeForce！Iamlost。

OCTAVIUS。[Boundinggailydownfromtheroadintotheamphitheatre，andcomingbetweenTannerandStraker]Iamsogladyouaresafe，oldchap。Wewereafraidyouhadbeencapturedbybrigands。

RAMSDEN。[whohasbeenstaringatMendoza]Iseemtorememberthefaceofyourfriendhere。[MendozarisespolitelyandadvanceswithasmilebetweenAnnandRamsden]。

HECTOR。Why，sodoI。

OCTAVIUS。Iknowyouperfectlywell，Sir；butIcan’tthinkwhereIhavemetyou。

MENDOZA。[toViolet]DoYOUrememberme，madam？

VIOLET。Oh，quitewell；butIamsostupidaboutnames。

MENDOZA。ItwasattheSavoyHotel。[ToHector]You，sir，usedtocomewiththislady[Violet]tolunch。[ToOctavius]You，sir，oftenbroughtthislady[Ann]andhermothertodinneronyourwaytotheLyceumTheatre。[ToRamsden]You，sir，usedtocometosupper，with[droppinghisvoicetoaconfidentialbutperfectlyaudiblewhisper]severaldifferentladies。

RAMSDEN。[angrily]Well，whatisthattoyou，pray？

OCTAVIUS。Why，Violet，Ithoughtyouhardlyknewoneanotherbeforethistrip，youandMalone！

VIOLET。[vexed]Isupposethispersonwasthemanager。

MENDOZA。Thewaiter，madam。Ihaveagratefulrecollectionofyouall。Igatheredfromthebountifulwayinwhichyoutreatedmethatyouallenjoyedyourvisitsverymuch。

VIOLET。Whatimpertinence！[Sheturnsherbackonhim，andgoesupthehillwithHector]。

RAMSDEN。Thatwilldo，myfriend。Youdonotexpecttheseladiestotreatyouasanacquaintance，Isuppose，becauseyouhavewaitedonthemattable。

MENDOZA。Pardonme：itwasyouwhoclaimedmyacquaintance。Theladiesfollowedyourexample。However，thisdisplayoftheunfortunatemannersofyourclassclosestheincident。Forthefuture，youwillpleaseaddressmewiththerespectduetoastrangerandfellowtraveller。[Heturnshaughtilyawayandresumeshispresidentialseat]。

TANNER。There！Ihavefoundonemanonmyjourneycapableofreasonableconversation；andyouallinstinctivelyinsulthim。

EventheNewManisasbadasanyofyou。Enry：youhavebehavedjustlikeamiserablegentleman。

STRAKER。Gentleman！Notme。

RAMSDEN。Really，Tanner，thistone——

ANN。Don’tmindhim，Granny：yououghttoknowhimbythistime[shetakeshisarmandcoaxeshimawaytothehilltojoinVioletandHector。Octaviusfollowsher，doglike]。

VIOLET。[callingfromthehill]Herearethesoldiers。Theyaregettingoutoftheirmotors。

DUVAL。[panicstricken]Oh，nomdeDieu！

THEANARCHIST。Fools：theStateisabouttocrushyoubecauseyouspareditatthepromptingofthepoliticalhangers—onofthebourgeoisie。

THESULKYSOCIAL—DEMOCRAT。[argumentativetothelast]Onthecontrary，onlybycapturingtheStatemachine——

THEANARCHIST。Itisgoingtocaptureyou。

THEROWDYSOCIAL—DEMOCRAT。[hisanguishculminating]Ow，chockit。Wotareweerefor？WOTarewewytinfor？

MENDOZA。[betweenhisteeth]Goon。Talkpolitics，youidiots：

nothingsoundsmorerespectable。Keepitup，Itellyou。

Thesoldierslinetheroad，commandingtheamphitheatrewiththeirrifles。Thebrigands，strugglingwithanover—whelmingimpulsetohidebehindoneanother，lookasunconcernedastheycan。Mendozarisessuperbly，withundauntedfront。Theofficerincommandstepsdownfromtheroadintotheamphitheatre；

lookshardatthebrigands；andtheninquiringlyatTanner。