The Yellow Crayon

第39章

“Butthisisatrap!“sheexclaimed。“Whosentforyou?Whydidyoucome?“

Helookedatherinsurprise。

“Lucille!“

Hiseyeswerefullofpassionateremonstrance。Shelookednervouslyfromhimtowardsthedoor。Heinterceptedherglance。

“WhathaveIdone?“heaskedfiercely。“WhathaveIfailedtodo?

WhydoyoulookasthoughIhadforcedmyselfuponyou?Haven’tI

theright?Don’tyouwishtoseeme?“

InBrott’sfaceandtonewasallthepassionatestrenuousnessofagreatcrisis。Lucillefeltsuddenlyhelplessbeforethedirectnessofhisgaze,hisstormofquestions。Inalltheirformerintercourseithadbeenshewhobyvirtueofhersexandhisblindloveforherhadkepttheupperhand。Andnowthepositionwaschanged。Allsortsoffeebleexplanations,ofappealstohim,occurredtoherdimly,onlytoberejectedbyreasonoftheirridiculousinadequacy。

Shewassilent-abjectlysilent。

Hecamealittleclosertoher,andthestrengthofthemanwasmanifestinhisintenseself-restraint。Hiswordsweremeasured,histonequiet。Yetbothsomehowgaveevidenceofthesmoulderingfiresbeneath。

“Lucille,“hesaid,“Ifindyouhardtounderstandto-day。Youhavemademeyourslave,youcameoncemoreintomylifeatitsmostcriticalmoment,andforyoursakeIhavebetrayedagreattrust。Myconscience,myfaith,andalthoughthatcountsforlittle,mypoliticalcareer,wereinthebalanceagainstmyloveforyou。Youknowwhichconquered。AtyourbiddingIhavemademyselfthejestofeverymanwhobuysthehalfpennypaperandcallshimselfapolitician。Myfriendsheapabuseuponme,myenemiesderision。IcannotholdmypositioninthisnewCabinet。

Ihadgonetoofarforcompromise。Iwonderifyouquiteunderstandwhathashappened?“

“Oh,Ihaveheardtoomuch,“shecried。“Sparemetherest。“

Hecontinuedasthoughhehadnotheardher。

“Menwhohavebeenmyintimateassociatesformanyyears,andwhosefriendshipwasdeartome,crosstheroadtoavoid:meetingme,daybydayIambesiegedwithvisitorsandlettersfromthesufferingpeopletowhommywordhadbeenpledged,imploringmeforsomeexplanation,foronewordofdenial。Lifehasbecomeahellforme,apestilent,militanthell!Yet,Lucille,unlessyoubreakfaithwithmeImakenocomplaint。Iamcontent。“

“Iamverysorry,“shesaid。“Idonotthinkthatyouhaveproperlyunderstoodme。Ihavenevermadeyouanypromise。“

Foramomenthelostcontrolofhimself。Sheshrankbackattheblazeofindignation,halfscornful,halfincredulous,whichlituphisclear,greyeyes。

“Itisalie!“’heanswered。“Betweenyouandmeitcanbenoquestionofwords。Youwerealwaysverycarefulofyourpledges,buttherearelimitseventoyourcaution-astomyforbearance。

Awomandoesnotaskamanwhoispleadingtoherforherlovetogiveupeverythingelsehecaresforinlifewithouthopeofreward。

Itismonstrous!Ineversoughtyouunderfalsepretenses。Ineveraskedyouforyourfriendship。Iwantedyou。Itoldyousoplainly。

Youwon’tdenythatyougavemehope-encouragedme?Youcan’tevendenythatIamwithinmyrightsifIclaimnowatthisinstanttherewardformyapostasy。“

Herhandsweresuddenlylockedinhis。Shefeltherselfbeingdrawnintohisarms。Withadesperateeffortsheavoidedhisembrace。Hestillheldherleftwrist,andhisfacewasdarkwithpassion。

“Letmego!“shepleaded。

“NotI!“heanswered,withanodd,chokedlittlelaugh。“Youbelongtome。Ihavepaidtheprice。I,too,amamongstthelonglistofthosepoorfoolswhohavesoldtheirgodsandtheirhonourforawoman’skiss。ButIwillnotbeleftwhollydestitute。YoushallpaymeforwhatIhavelost。“

“Oh,youaremad!“sheanswered。“Howcouldyouhavedeceivedyourselfso?Don’tyouknowthat

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