第17章

"Itisacommonenoughstoryinthiscountry。Thelittlebabywasfivemonthsold，singularlybrightandattractive。McIntyrehimselfwasquitefoolishaboutit;and，indeed，thewholecongregationwerequiteworkedupoverit。Tooksuddenlyill，somemysterioustrouble;

nodoctorwithinfortymiles;beforehearrivedthebabywasgone。

Theyweredreadfullycutupaboutit。"

"I——Inevernoticed，"saidShock，withasenseofshame。"Iwasn’tthinking。"

TherewasnodemonstrationofsympathyonthepartofhispeoplewhenShockreturnedtohiswork。Onebyonetheycameupaftertheeveningservicetoshakehandswithhimandthentoleavehimalone。

Butthatnight，whenallhadgoneexceptIke，whowashoveringaboutdownstairswithincallofShock，——who，wassittingupstairsaloneintheroomwhich，inthefulnessofhisjoy，hehadsetapartforhismother，——avoicewasheardaskingcautiously"Ishein？"

"Yes，butIguesshe’sprettytired，"repliedIkedoubtfully。

"I’dliketoseehimaminute，"repliedthevoice，withasuddenhuskiness。

"Oh！It’syou，isit？"saidIke。"Well，comein。Yes，comerightupstairs。"AndCarrollcameheavilyupthestairswithPatsyinhisarms。

"Why，Carroll，thisisawfullygoodofyou！"exclaimedShock，goingtomeethim。

"It’sthelittlelad，"saidCarroll。"It’sPatsy，he’sbreakin’theheartavhim，an’hewantstoseeyou，and，yourriverince，it’smeself——Iwantto——"Thevoicebrokedowncompletely。

"Comein，comein！"criedShock，histearsflowingfast。"Come，Patsy，doyouwanttoseeme？Comeon，oldchap，Iwantyou，too。"

HetookthelittlecrippleinhisarmsandheldhimtightwhilehistearsfelluponPatsy’sfaceandhands。

"Isitforyourmother？"whisperedPatsyinanawestrucktone。

"Yes，yes，Patsydear，"saidShock，whowasfastlosingcontrolofhimself，thelongpent—upgriefbreakingthroughallbarriersofself—control。"She’sgonefromme，Patsylad。"

"But，"saidthelittleboy，liftinguphisbeautifulfaceinwonder。

"Sure，isn’tshewidJesusHimselfandtheblessedangels？"

"Oh，yes，Patsy，myboy！sheis，andit’snotrighttogrievetoomuch，butIcannothelpit，"saidShock，regainingcontrolofhimself。"ButIamgladyoucameintotellme，andwe’llalltrytobegoodmensothatsomedaywe’llallgothere，too。"

Foralongtimetheysatlookingoutonthemoon—litlakeandthedistanthills，Shocktellingthelittleladheheldinhisarmsofthebeautifulcountrytowhichhismotherhadgone。

ThatnightwasthebeginningofbetterthingsforthebigIrishman。

Therevengehehadcherishedforsomanymonthspassedoutofhisheart，andamonghisclosestfriendsandhiswarmestcompanionsShockcouldcountfromthattimeforthTimCarroll。

XVII

BETTY’SLASTWORDS

Thereisacertainstimulusingriefwhichlendsunrealstrengthtoendure，butNaturewillbeavengedinaphysicalandemotionalreaction，allthemoreterriblethatitisunexpected。Thenthefullweightofthesorrowpressesupontheheartalreadyexhausted，andthesenseoflossbecomesthemorepainfulbecauseitcanbefairlyestimated，andtheemptyplacecanbemoretrulymeasuredbecauseitisseeninitsrelationtotheordinarylife。

SoitwaswithShock。Thefirstsharpstabofgriefwasover，andnowhecarriedwithhimthelongacheofawoundthatwouldnothealformanyaday。Hismotherhadfilledalargepartofhislife。Asfarbackintochildhoodashismemorycouldgo，thereshestoodbetweenhimandthegreatworld，hissuredefenceagainstallevil，hisrefugeinallsorrow;andashegrewintomanhoodshemadeforherselfalargerandlargerplaceinhisthoughtandinhislife。HewellknewhowshehadtoiledanddeniedherselfcomfortsandenduredhardshipsthathemightgainthatheightofeveryScottishmother’sambitionforherson，acollegeeducation，andhegaveherfullrewardintheloveofhisheartandthethoughtfuldevotionofhislife。Allhisinterestsandoccupations，hisstudies，hismissionworkintheWard，histriumphsonthefootballfield，allhesharedwithher，anduntilthelastyearnoonehadeverchallengedherplaceofsupremacyinhisheart。Hisfuturewasbuiltabouthismother。Shewastosharehiswork，herhomewastobeinhismanse，shewastobethecentreaboutwhichhislifewouldswing;andsincecomingtotheWesthehadbuiltupinimaginationanewlifestructure，inwhichhismotherhadherownancientplace。Inthisnewandfascinatingworkofexploring，organising，andupbuildinghefeltsure，too，ofhismother’seagersympathyandherwiseunderstanding。

Ithadbeenthehappiestofallhisfanciesthathismothershouldpresideoverthenewhome，theopeningofwhichhadbeenattendedwithsuchprideandjoy。Shewouldbetheretolivewithhimeveryday，watchinghimgooutandwaitingforhimtocomein。

Nowallthatwasgone。Ashismindranalongitsaccustomedgrooveseveryturnofthoughtsmotehimwithapangsharpandsudden。Shewasnolongerapartoftheplan。Allhadtobetakendown，thepartsreadjusted，thestructurerebuilt。HebegantounderstandtheConvener’swords，"Thisisahardcountry。"Itdemandedaman’slifeinallthefull，deepmeaningoftheword;hiswork，ofcourseofbodyandbrain，buthisheartaswell，andhisheart’streasures。

InthemidstofhisdepressionandbewildermentIkebroughthimaletterwhichhadlaintwoweeksattheFort，andwhosedatewasnowsomefourweeksold。ItwasfromBrownandranthus:

MyDearOldChap:

Idonotknowhowtobeginthisletter。Theterriblysuddenandawfulcalamitythathasovertakenushasparalysedmymind，andI

canhardlythinkstraight。Onethingthatstandsoutbeforeme，wipingoutalmosteveryotherthought，isthatourdearBettyisnomore。Youcannotimagineit，Iknow，forthoughIsawherinhercoffin，sosweetandlovely，butoh！sostill，Icannotgetmyselftobelieveit。Thecircumstancesconcerningherdeath，too，wereawfullysad，sosadthatitsimplygoesbeyondanywordsIhavetodescribethem。Iwilltrytobecoherent;but，thoughIshallgiveyouanaccountofwhathappened，Icannotbegintoconveytheimpressionuponmymind。Well，letmetry。

YouknowMrs。FairbankshasbeenopposedallalongtoTheDon’sattentionstoBetty，andhastriedherbesttoblockhim。Afteryouleft，theoppositiongrewmoredetermined。Why，forthelifeofme，Icannotsay。ShehadapparentlymadeuphermindthatTheDonmustquit。Sheworkedeverykindofscheme，butitwasnogood。Thatpluckylittlegirl，inherownbright，jollyway，withoutcomingtoanopenbreak，wouldnotgivebackaninch，andTheDonkeptcomingtothehousejustbecauseBettyinsisted。Hewouldhavequitlongbefore，poorchap。Youknowhowproudheis。

Well，Mrs。Fairbankssettoworktogainherpurpose。ShesomehowgotwindofthekindoflifeTheDonlivedinthiscityyearsago。

Shesetenquiriesonfootandgotholdofthefactsprettywell。Youknowallaboutit，soIneednottellyou。Poorchap，hehadhisblackspots，sureenough。ShefurthermoregotLloydsomehowtocorroborateherfacts。JusthowmuchhelookedupforherIdon’tknow，butItellyouIhavequitLloyd。Heisablankedcad。IknowIshouldnotwritethis，andyouwillhatetoreadit，butitisthetruth。Hisconductduringthewholebusinesshasbeendamnable！

damnable！damnable！IgnashmyteethasIwrite。

Whenshehadeverythingreadyshesprunghermine。Itwasinherownhouseoneevening，whenLloyd，TheDon，andIwerethere，andtheFairbanks’newminister，Hooper，ayoungTrinityman，whohasbeenaclosefriendofTheDon’s，Idon’tknowhowlong，butsomeyearsatleast。Afinefellow。Godblesshim，sayI，againandagain。

TheDonandBettyhadbeengoingitprettystrongthatevening，ratherunnecessarilyso，Ithink;andMrs。Fairbanksgotmoreandmoreworkedup，untilsheseemedtoloseherhead。AsTheDonwassayinggoodnightshespokeupandsaidinthathaughtywayofhers，"Mr。Balfour，thetimehascomewhenwemustsaygood—bye，andI

mustaskyoutodiscontinueyourvisitstothishouse，andyourintimacywithmydaughter。"

Well，weallsatup，Icantellyou。TheDonwentwhite，andred，andwhiteagain。Bettywalkedoverandstoodbyhisside，hereyesallblazing。

"Mamma，"shecried，"whatareyousayingagainstthemanIlove！Doyoumeanto——"

"Betty，"saidhermotherinherhaughtiestandcoldestandcalmestvoice，"beforeyougoanyfurther，listentome。Idonotchoosethatmydaughter，pureandunsullied，shouldgiveherselftoaroueandalibertine。"

TheDontookasteptowardherandsaid:"Mrs。Fairbanks，someonehasmisledyou。Whatyousayisfalse，absolutelyandutterlyfalse。"Bettyglancedproudlyupintohisface。

"False！"criedMrs。Fairbanks。"Then，Mr。Balfour，youforcemetoask，didyounotliveforsomemonthswithawomanonJarvisStreet？

Wereyounotaconstantvisitorathousesofillreputeformonthsinthiscity？"

PoorDon！Icanseehimyet。Hisfacegrewlivid，hiseyesstaring，ashestoodtherewithoutaword。

"Don，"criedBetty，"tellheritisfalse！"andsheliftedherlittleheadproudly。"Tellheritisfalse，andIdon’tcarewhosaysitistrue。"StillTheDonstoodspeechless。

"Alas！mypoorchild，"saidMrs。Fairbanks，"hecouldnotsayso。I

havetheproofinmyhand。"Andshepulledaletteroutofherpocket。"Itistrue，andmuchmore——tootrue。Mr。Lloydhereknowsthistobetrue。Isitnotso，Mr。Lloyd？Ifthisisnottrue，speak。"ThepooroldDonturnedhiseyesimploringlytowardLloyd，likeamanhangingonhislasthope，butLloyd，thebeast！mumbledandstutteredsomethingorother。Bettyrantohim，caughthimbythearmandshookhim。"Speakout！"shesaid。"Sayitisallalie！"

TheLloydsaidinathickkindofvoice，"Icannotsayso。"

BettyturnedbacktoTheDon，andmayGodkeepmefromeverseeingafacelikehersagain。"Sayitisn’ttrue！"shesaid，puttingherhandonhisarm;andashestoodstill，whiteandspeechless，shegaveakindofcryoffear，andhorror，andIdon’tknowwhatelse。

"Oh，Don，canthisbetrue——and——youkissedme！"

ThenTheDonpulledhimselftogether，turnedtoMrs。Fairbanks，andbegantospeak，thewordspouringoutinaperfecttorrent。"Mrs。

Fairbanks，youmustlistentome。Whatyousaywastrueofmeeightyearsago。Icamehereamereboy。Ifellinwithabadlot——Ihadplentyofmoney，andIconfessIwentbad。Thatwaseightyearsago。

ThenImetyourdaughters，andcameintoyourhome。FromthattimeI

haveneverdoneadishonourablething，mylifehasbeenclean。EversinceItouchedyourdaughter’shandmyhandshavenevertouchedanythingunclean。ThefirstdayIsawher，eightyearsago，Ilovedher，andsincethenIhavebeentrueinheartandinlifetoher。

FormyshamefulpastGodknowsIhaverepentedbitterly，bitterly，andhavesoughtforgiveness;andnomanlivesinthistown，oranyother，whocanpointtoanythingofwhichIamashamedtospeakhere。"

PoorBetty！Shelookedfromonetotheotherinafrightenedkindofway，andwhenTheDonhadfinishedhisconfessionshegaveacrythelikeofwhichIneverheard，"Oh，mother，takemeaway！"Ihaveheardofheartsbeingbroken。Ithinkherswasbrokenthen。

Itellyouwewereallinawhirl。TheDonfellonhiskneesbesideher，takingholdofherskirts。"Oh，Betty，won’tyouforgiveme？

Godhavemercyonme！Won’tyouforgiveme？IhavedonemanythingsofwhichIamashamed，butIhaveneverbeenuntruetoyouinthoughtorindeed。Never，never，sohelpmeGod！"Heclutchedthehemofherdress，kissingitoverandoveragain。Itwasaghastlysight，Icantellyou。Bettyshrankfromhim，drawingherskirtsaway。"Comeaway，mydaughter，"saidMrs。Fairbanks。"Thereisnothingmoretobesaid。"

AssheturnedawayupspakelittleHooper。Godblesshim，thelittlefive—footer，everyinchcleargrit。"Mrs。Fairbanks，oneminute。

PardonmeifIsayaword。Iamthisyoungman’sfriend，andIamyourminister。Ihaveknownthismanforsixyears。Ihaveknownhimintimately。Ibelievehecarriesaclean，pureheart，andhehaslivedahard—working，honourablelife。Ifhehassinned，hehasrepented，andGodhasforgivenhim。Shouldnotyou？"

Mrs。Fairbanksturnedimpatientlyonhim。"Mr。Hooper，forgivenessisonething，andfriendshipanother。"

"No，thankGod！"criedthelittlechap。"No，forgivenessisnotonethingandfriendshipanother。Forgivenessmeansfriendship，andwelcome，andlove，withGodandwithman。"Icouldhavehuggedthelittlemanwherehestood。

ThenMrs。Fairbanksseemedtoloseherhead，andsheblazedoutinaperfectfury。"Doyoumeandeliberatelytosaythatthisman，"

pointingtoTheDon，whowasstillonhisknees，withhisfaceinhishands，"thatthismanshouldbereceivedintomyhouse？"

"Mrs。Fairbanks，"saidHooper，"istherenotaplacefortherepentantandabsolved，evenwiththesaintsofGod？"

Mrs。Fairbankslostherselfcompletely。"Mr。Hooper，"shecried，"thisisoutrageous。Itellyou，forgivenornot，repentantornot;

neverwillhe，orsuchashe，entermydoorsortouchmydaughter’shand。NeverwhileIlive。"

ThenHooperdrewhimselfup。Heseemedtomesixfeettall。Heliftedhishand，andspokewiththekindofsolemnitythatyouexpecttocomefromthealtar。"Thenlistentome，Mrs。Fairbanks。

Yousayyouwouldnotreceivehimorsuchashimintoyourhouse。

Youinvitemeoftentoyourhome，andhereIconstantlymeetmenwhoareknowninsocietyasrakesandroues。Youknowit，andallsocietywomenknowit，too。Ifyoucaredtotakehalfthetroubleyouhavetakeninthiscase，youcouldfindoutallthefacts。Youareawomanofsociety，andyouknowwellwhatIsayistrue。Ihaveseenyouinthisroomplaceyourdaughterinthearmsofamanyouknewtobeadrunkard，andmusthavesuspectedwasalibertine。

Thesemenhavetheentreetoeverygoodfamilyinthecity，andthoughtheircharacterisknown，theyarereceivedeverywhere。Theyhavewealthandfamilyconnection。Donotattempttodenyit，Mrs。

Fairbanks。Iknowsociety，andyouknowitwell。Ifyoustrikeoffthenamesofthosemenwhoselives，nothavebeeninthepast，butareto—dayuncleanandunworthy，youwillhavetomakeaverylargeblankinyourdancinglist。"Thenthelittlefellow’svoicebrokerightdown。"ForgivemeifIhavespokenharshly。Ibeseechyou，hearme。Youaredoingagreatwrongtomyfriend，acruelwrong。I

pledgeyoumynameandhonourheisagoodman，andheisworthyofyourdaughter。Godhascoveredhissin:whyhaveyoudaredtouncoverit？"Andthen，inthetonethatheusesinreadinghisprayers，hewenton，"InthenameoftheSaviourofthesinfulandlost，Iaskyou，Ientreatyou，receivehim。"

Youwouldthinkthatwouldhavemeltedtheheartofashe—devil，letaloneawoman，butthatwomanstoodthere，cold，white，andunmoved。

"Isthatall，Mr。Hooper？"shesaid。"Thenmyansweris——never！Andasforyou，hiseloquentadvocate，Ineverwishtoseeyouagain。

Come，Betty。"

AstheybegantomoveoffTheDon，whowasstillonhisknees，lookedupandreachedouthishandstowardthepoorgirlwithacrythatstabbedmyheartthroughandthrough。"Iwantyourforgiveness，Betty，onlyyourforgiveness。"Shepaused，tookasteptowardshim，thenputtingherhandsoverherfaceshestoodstill，shuddering。

Hermothercaughtheranddrewheraway。

TheDonroseslowly。Heseemedstupefied。HeturnedtowardHooper，andsaidinahoarsekindofwhisper:"She’sgone！Oh，God，Ihavelosther！"Hefelthiswayouttothehalllikeablindman。Helenputoutherhandtostophim，buthewenton，nevernoticing。Shefollowedhimtothehall，weepingbitterly，andcrying，"Comeback，Don，comeback！"

Withoutwaitingtogetcoatorhat，herushedout。"Goandgethim，"

Helencriedtous，andwefollowedhimasfastaswecould。WhenI

gotouthehadreachedthegate，andwasfumblingatthecatch。

"Holdon，Don，whereareyougoing？"Icried。"Tohell！tohell！tohell！"Mydearchap，thatcryofhismademebelieveinhell;for，iflostspiritscrywhenthedevilsgetholdofthem，theywillcrylikethat。Itwasthemostunearthly，horriblesoundIhaveeverheard，andmayGodsavemefromhearingthelikeagain。

NextdayItriedtoseeBetty，butitwasnouse，shewouldseenoone。AndsoonafterIheardshewasill，typhoidfever。Ithadbeenworkingonherforsometime。Therewasalmostnohopefromtheveryfirst。Shebecamedeliriousatonce，andinherravingkeptcallingonTheDonforforgiveness。Yourmotherwasagreathelptothem，relievingthenurse。Theyallseemedtodependuponher。Ofcourse，Iwasinandouteveryday，andbroughtreportstoTheDon，whohauntedourhousedayandnight。Ineversawafellowsufferlikethat。Heslepthardlyany，atenothingatall，butwanderedaboutthetown，spendingmostofhistimeatHooper’swhenhewasnotwithus。

AfterthedeliriumpassedBettyaskedforme。WhenIsawherlookingsowhiteandthin——youwouldthinkyoucouldseethroughherhands——

Itellyouitbrokemeallup。Shebeckonedmetoher，andwhenI

bentoverhershewhispered:"FindTheDonandbringhim。"Atfirsthermotherrefused，sayingheshouldnevercomewithherconsent。Itwasmightyhard，Itellyou。ButtheafternoonofthesamedayHelencameflyingovertotellusthatthedoctorhadsaidtherewasonlyaveryslightchanceforBetty，andthatifhermotherpersistedinherrefusalhewouldnotberesponsiblefortheconsequences，thathermotherhadyielded，andIwastobringTheDon。Itellyou，I

madetimedowntohisrooms，andbrought，himtothehouse。

Therewasnooneintheroombutthenurseandthedoctorwhenheentered。Shewasexpectingus，andasweenteredsheopenedhereyesandasked，"Ishehere？"Thenursebeckonedhimtoapproach，andTheDoncameandkneltatherbed。Hewasverysteadyandquiet。Sheputoutherhandanddrewhimtowardher。Shewasthecalmestofusall。

"Iwantyoutoforgiveme，Don，"shesaid，andhervoicewaswonderfullyclear。Poorchap，hewentalltopiecesforaminuteortwoand，holdingherfingers，kissedthemoverandoveragain。"I

wantyoutoforgiveme，Don，"shesaidagain。"IthoughtIwasbetterthanGod。"Thepoorfellowcouldonlykeepkissingherfingers。"Mylips，Don，mylips，"andTheDonkissedheronthelipstwice，murmuringinabrokenvoice，"Mydarling，mylove，mylove。"

Thenshelookedupandsmiledthatoldsmileofhers——youremember，sobrightandsomerry？ByJove，itbrokemeallup。Andshesaid:

"Nowweareallright，aren’twe？"ThedoctorcameandtouchedTheDon。"No，doctor，"shesaid，"Iamquitequiet。See，Iamgoingtosleep。Iwantyoutostaythere，Don。Good—night。"

Mrs。FairbanksandHelencamein。HelengaveTheDonherhand，butMrs。Fairbankspaidnoattentiontohim。Bettyopenedhereyes，sawhermotherandsmiled。"Dearmother，"shesaid，"see，there’sDon。"

Mrs。Fairbankshesitatedslightly，thenreachedoutherhandacrossthebed。"Thankyou，dearmother，"Bettysaid。"Youmustbegoodtohim。"Thenafteralittlewhileshesaiddreamily，likeatiredchild:"Godforgivesusall，andwemustforgive。"ShelethereyesrestonTheDon’sface。"Good—night，Don，dear，"shesaid，"Iamgoingtosleep。"

Thatwasherlastword，Shock。Justthinkofit——Betty’slastword。

Icannotrealiseitatall。Iwishmystoryendedthere，butitdoesnot。Foratimewesatthere，thedoctorhopingthataturnforthebetterhadcome，butinaboutanhourthenursenoticedachange，andcalledhim。Hecamequickly，feltherpulse，injectedsomethingorotherintoherarm。Sheopenedhereyes。Yourememberhowshewouldopenthoselovelybrowneyesofherswhenanythingsurprisedher。Well，sheopenedthemjustthatway，smiledbrightlyononeandthenanother，lethereyesrestonTheDon，gavealittlesighandclosedthem，andtheyneveropenedagain。"Sheisgone，"thedoctorsaid，andweallcrowdednear。"Yes，sheisgone，"hesaidagain。

ThenTheDonstoodup，andputtingouthishandtoMrs。Fairbanks，said:"Mrs。Fairbanks，Iwanttothankyouforallowingmetocome。"

Butshedrewherselfawayfromhim，refusingtotouchhishand，andmotioninghimoff。

Poorchap！Heturnedbacktothebed，kneeleddown，touchedthesoftbrownhairwithhishands，kissedthefingersagain，andthenwithoutawordwentout。Ifanyonecantellmewhatthatwoman’sheartismadeof，Iwouldliketoknow。

ThedayofthefuneralTheDonbroughtmealittlebunchofliliesofthevalley，saying，"Itisforher"IgavethemtoHelen，andI

sawthemafterwardsinthehandsthatlayfoldedacrossherbreast。

Ihavenotseenhimsince，butHoopertellsmehesaidhewasgoingouttoyou。IhopetoHeavenhewillnotgobad。Idon’tthinkhewill。Ofcourse，hefeelsverybitterlyaboutLloydandMrs。

Fairbanks。

Now，thatisallmystory。Itmakesagreatdifferencetoalloursethere，butIwilltellyouwhatIhavetoldnolivingsoul，andthatis，thattheworldwillneverbethesametomeagain。Iamnotmuchgiventosentiment，asyouknow，andnobodyeversuspectedit。

Idonotthinkshedidherself。ButIlovedthatlittlegirlbetterthanmylife，andIwouldhavegivenmysoulforheranyday。

Iknowyouwillfeelthisterribly。HowoftenIhavewishedthatyoucouldhavebeenwithus。ThebestIcoulddowastosendyouthiswretched，incoherentscrawl。Yourfriendasever，BROWN。

P。S。——DoyouknowanythingabouttheBritish—AmericanGoldandSilverMiningCompany，orsomethinglikethat？Thereisachaphere，managerordirector，orsomething。Ambherg，Ithinkhisnameis。Hespeaksasifheknewyou，orknewsomethingaboutyou。HeisagreatfriendoftheFairbanks。Lotsofmoney，andthatsortofthing。I

didnotlikethewayhespokeaboutyou。Ifeltlikegivinghimasmack。Doyouknowhim，oranythingaboutthecompany？

YourmotherhasnotbeenverywellsinceBetty’sdeath。Ithinkshefoundthestrainprettyheavy。Shehascaughtalittlecold，Iamafraid。B。

Brown’sletterdidforShockwhatnothingelsecouldhavedone:itturnedhismindawayfromhimselfandhissorrow。Notthathewasinanydangerofmorbidbroodingoverhisloss，oroffallingintothatlastandmostdeplorableofallhumanweaknesses，self—pity，butgriefturnstheheartinuponitself，andtendstomarthefinebloomofanunselfishspirit。

AshefinishedreadingBrown’sletterShock’sheartwasfilledwithloveandpityforhisfriend。"Poorfellow！"hesaid。"Iwonderwhereheisnow。Hisisahardlotindeed。"Andashereadtheletteroverandoverhispityforhisfrienddeepened，forherealisedthatinhiscupofsorrowtherehadmingledthegallofremorseandthebitternessofhate。

Inanotherweektwootherletterscame，eachprofoundlyaffectingShockandhislife。OnewasfromHelen，givingafullaccountofhismother’sillnessanddeath，tellinghowbeautifullytheSuperintendenthadtakenpartinthefuneralservice，andpreservingforhersonthoselastpreciousmessagesofloveandgratitude，offaithandhope，whichbecometheimmortaltreasuresofthebereavedheart。AshereadHelen’sletterShockcaughtaglimpseofthegloryofthatdeparting。Heavencameabouthim，andtheeternalthings，thatbyreasonofthenearnessofthematerialworldtoooftenbecomeshadowy，tookonarealitythatneverquitelefthim。Wherehismotherwashenceforthrealthingsmustbe。

TheletterclosedwithafewprecioussentencesofloveandsympathyfromHelen，butintheseShock，readingwithhisheartinhiseyes，andlongingformorethanhecouldrightlyfindinthem，thoughthecoulddetectakindofreserve，areservewhichhecouldnotinterpret，andhelaiddowntheletterwithpainfuluncertainty。Washerlovemorethanshecaredtotell，orwasitlessthansheknewhewoulddesire？

FromHelen’sletterShockturnedtoMrs。Fairbanks’andread:

MyDearMr。Macgregor:

Wealldeeplysympathisewithyouinyourgreatloss，asIknowyouwillwithusinourgrief。Wecanhardlyspeakofityet。Itissonewandsoterriblysuddenthatwehavenotbeenablefullytorealiseit。MygreatcomfortinthisterriblesorrowismydaughterHelen。Mr。Lloyd，too，hasprovedhimselfatruefriend。Indeed，I

donotknowwhatweshouldhavedonewithouthim。Wearemoreandmorecomingtoleanuponhim。YouwillnothaveheardyetthatwehavebeensogreatlyattractedbyMr。Lloyd’spreaching，andinfluencedbyourregardforhimpersonally，thatwehavetakensittingsintheParkChurch。

Helen，Iamgladtosay，isbeginningtotakeaninterestinthechurchanditswork，andastimegoesonIthinkherinterestwillgrow。Ishouldbegladindeedthatitshouldbeso，forourrelationswithMr。Lloydareveryclose;and，infact，Imaytellyouwhatisyetasecret，thathehasintimatedtomehisdesiretomakeHelenhiswife。Helenisveryfavourablydisposedtohim，andallourcircleoffriendswouldrejoiceinthisasanidealmarriage。Mr。Lloydbelongstoherownsetinsociety，isagentlemanofcultureandhighcharacter，andineverywaysuitable。

Asformyself，inmylonelinessIcouldnotendurethethoughtoflosingmyonlydaughter，atall，andhermarriagewouldbeagreatblowtomewereitnotthatherhomeistobesocloseathand。

Thereisonething，however，aboutwhichHelenissensitive。Shecannotridherselfofafeelingthatsheisinamannerboundtoyouonaccountofherfoolishandimpetuouswords，utteredundertheexcitementofyourdeparture;butIamsureyouwouldneverthinkofholdingherbecauseofthosewords，utteredinamomentofgreatfeeling，andIalsofeelsurethatyouwouldnotinanywayinterferewithherhappiness，ordoanythingthatwouldhindertheconsummationofamarriagesoeminentlysuitableineveryway。

Wehearofyouandofyourworkoccasionally。Itmustbeaterriblecountry，andaverydepressinglife。Thelonelinessandisolationmustbewell—nighoverwhelming。Iamsureyouhavealloursympathy。

Isupposeworkofthiskindmustbedone，anditisagoodthingthattherearemenofsuchruggedstrengthandsuchcourageasyouhave，whoseemtobefittedforthiskindofwork。

Now，mydearMr。Macgregor，inyouranswerIthinkthatafewwordsofassurancetoHelenonthepointsIhavesuggestedwouldbegreatlyappreciated，andwoulddomuchtoremovedifficultiesthatnowstandinthewayofherhappinessandmine。

Yoursverysincerely，E。Fairbanks。

ItwasthenthatShockdranktothedregshisfullcupofbittersorrow。ThecontrastssuggestedbyMrs。Fairbanks’letterstoodoutvividlybeforehim。HethoughtofHelen’sbeautifulhome，whereshewassurroundedwithalltheluxuriesofaculturedlife;hethoughtofhercircleoffriends，ofthelifeworktowhich，asLloyd’swife，shewouldbepermittedtotakeup;hethought，too，ofhermother’sclaimuponher。Andthenhelookedaboutuponhisbareroom，withitslogwalls，itsutterabsenceofeverythingthatsuggestedrefinement;hethoughtoftheterribleisolationthatinthesedayshadbecomesodepressingeventohimself;hethoughtofallthelonghoursofwearyyearningforthesightandtouchofallthathehelddear，andforthesakeofthegirltowhomhehadgivenhisheart’sloveinallitsunsulliedpurityandinallitsvirginfreshnesshemadehisdecision。Hetookuphiscross，andthoughhisheartbledhepressedhislipsuponit。