第2章

"Allthiswithaneasygood-humorfittogiveavirtuouscitizenthecolic。

"\'Youarewrong，MonsieurleComte，\'retortedCerizet，inaslightlyperemptorytone。\'Wewillbepaidinfull，andthatinawaywhichyoumaynotlike。ThatiswhyIcametoyoufirstinafriendlyspirit，asisrightandfitbetweengentlemen——\'

"\'Oh!sothatishowyouunderstandit？\'beganMaxime，enragedbythislastpieceofpresumption。TherewassomethingofTalleyrand\'switintheinsolentretort，ifyouhavequitegraspedthecontrastbetweenthetwomenandtheircostumes。Maximescowledandlookedfullattheintruder；Cerizetnotmerelyenduredtheglareofcoldfury，butevenreturnedit，withanicy，cat-likemalignanceandfixityofgaze。

"\'Verygood，sir，goout——\'

"\'Verywell，good-day，MonsieurleComte。Weshallbequitsbeforesixmonthsareout。\'

"\'Ifyoucanstealtheamountofyourbill，whichislegallydueI

own，Ishallbeindebtedtoyou，sir，\'repliedMaxime。\'Youwillhavetaughtmeanewprecautiontotake。Iamverymuchyourservant。\'

"\'MonsieurleComte，\'saidCerizet，\'itisI，onthecontrary，whoamyours。\'

"Herewasanexplicit，forcible，confidentdeclarationoneitherside。

Acoupleoftigersconfabulating，withthepreybeforethem，andafightimpending，wouldhavebeennofinerandnoshrewderthanthispair；theinsolentfinegentlemanasgreatablackguardastheotherinhissoiledandmud-stainedclothes。

"Whichwillyoulayyourmoneyon？"askedDesroches，lookingroundatanaudience，surprisedtofindhowdeeplyitwasinterested。

"Aprettystory!"criedMalaga。"Mydearboy，goon，Ibegofyou。

Thisgoestoone\'sheart。”

"Nothingcommonplacecouldhappenbetweentwofighting-cocksofthatcalibre，"addedLaPalferine。

"Pooh!"criedMalaga。"Iwillwagermycabinet-maker\'sinvoice(thefellowisdunningme)thatthelittletoadwastoomanyforMaxime。”

"IbetonMaxime，"saidCardot。"Nobodyevercaughthimnapping。”

DesrochesdrankoffaglassthatMalagahandedtohim。

"Mlle。Chocardelle\'sreading-room，"hecontinued，afterapause，"wasintheRueCoquenard，justasteportwofromtheRuePigallewhereMaximewasliving。ThesaidMlle。Chocardellelivedatthebackonthegardensideofthehouse，beyondabigdarkplacewherethebookswerekept。Antonialeftheraunttolookafterthebusiness——"

"Hadsheanaunteventhen？"exclaimedMalaga。"Hangitall，Maximedidthingshandsomely。”

"Alas!itwasarealaunt，"saidDesroches；"hernamewas——letmesee——"

"IdaBonamy，"saidBixiou。

"SoasAntonia\'saunttookagooddealoftheworkoffherhands，shewenttobedlateandlaylateofamorning，nevershowingherfaceatthedeskuntiltheafternoon，sometimebetweentwoandfour。Fromtheveryfirstherappearancewasenoughtodrawcustom。Severalelderlymeninthequarterusedtocome，amongthemaretiredcoach-builder，oneCroizeau。Beholdingthismiracleoffemalelovelinessthroughthewindow-panes，hetookitintohisheadtoreadthenewspapersinthebeauty\'sreading-room；andasometimecustom-houseofficer，namedDenisart，witharibboninhisbutton-hole，followedtheexample。

CroizeauchosetolookuponDenisartasarival。\'/Monsieur/，\'hesaidafterwards，\'

Ididnotknowwhattobuyforyou!\'

"Thatspeechshouldgiveyouanideaoftheman。TheSieurCroizeauhappenstobelongtoaparticularclassofoldmanwhichshouldbeknownas\'Coquerels\'sinceHenriMonnier\'stime；sowelldidMonnierrenderthepipingvoice，thelittlemannerisms，littlequeue，littlesprinklingofpowder，littlemovementsofthehead，primlittlemanner，andtrippinggaitinthepartofCoquerelin/LaFamilleImprovisee/。ThisCroizeauusedtohandoverhishalfpencewithaflourishanda\'There，fairlady!\'

"Mme。IdaBonamytheauntwasnotlonginfindingoutthroughaservantthatCroizeau，bypopularreportoftheneighborhoodoftheRuedeBuffault，wherehelived，wasamanofexceedingstinginess，possessedoffortythousandfrancsperannum。Aweekaftertheinstalmentofthecharminglibrarianhewasdeliveredofapun:

"\'Youlendmebooks(livres)，butIgiveyouplentyoffrancsinreturn，\'saidhe。

"Afewdayslaterheputonaknowinglittleair，asmuchastosay，\'Iknowyouareengaged，butmyturnwillcomeoneday；Iamawidower。\'

"Healwayscamearrayedinfinelinen，acornflowerbluecoat，apaduasoywaistcoat，blacktrousers，andblackribbonbowsonthedoublesoledshoesthatcreakedlikeanabbe\'s；healwaysheldafourteenfrancsilkhatinhishand。

"\'IamoldandIhavenochildren，\'hetookoccasiontoconfidetotheyoungladysomefewdaysafterCerizet\'svisittoMaxime。\'Iholdmyrelationsinhorror。Theyarepeasantsborntoworkinthefields。

Justimagineit，Icameupfromthecountrywithsixfrancsinmypocket，andmademyfortunehere。Iamnotproud。Aprettywomanismyequal。NowwoulditnotbenicertobeMme。CroizeauforsomeyearstocomethantodoaCount\'spleasureforatwelvemonth？Hewillgooffandleaveyousometimeorother；andwhenthatdaycomes，youwillthinkofme……yourservant，myprettylady!\'

"Allthiswassimmeringbelowthesurface。Theslightestapproachatlove-makingwasmadequiteonthesly。NotasoulsuspectedthatthetrimlittleoldfogywassmittenwithAntonia；andsoprudentwastheelderlylover，thatnorivalcouldhaveguessedanythingfromhisbehaviorinthereading-room。ForacoupleofmonthsCroizeauwatchedtheretiredcustom-houseofficial；butbeforethethirdmonthwasouthehadgoodreasontobelievethathissuspicionsweregroundless。HeexertedhisingenuitytoscrapeanacquaintancewithDenisart，cameupwithhiminthestreet，andatlengthseizedhisopportunitytoremark，\'Itisafineday，sir!\'

"Whereupontheretiredofficialrespondedwith，\'Austerlitzweather，sir。Iwastheremyself——Iwaswoundedindeed，IwonmyCrossonthatgloriousday。\'

"AndsofromonethingtoanotherthetwodriftedwrecksoftheEmpirestruckupanacquaintance。LittleCroizeauwasattachedtotheEmpirethroughhisconnectionwithNapoleon\'ssisters。Hehadbeentheircoach-builder，andhadfrequentlydunnedthemformoney；sohegaveoutthathe\'hadhadrelationswiththeImperialfamily。\'Maxime，dulyinformedbyAntoniaofthe\'niceoldman\'s\'proposals(forsotheauntcalledCroizeau)，wishedtoseehim。Cerizet\'sdeclarationofwarhadsofartakeneffectthatheoftheyellowkidgloveswasstudyingthepositionofeverypiece，howeverinsignificant，upontheboard；anditsohappenedthatatthementionofthat\'niceoldman，\'anominoustinklingsoundedinhisears。Oneevening，therefore，Maximeseatedhimselfamongthebook-shelvesinthedimlylightedbackroom，reconnoitredthesevenoreightcustomersthroughthechinkbetweenthegreencurtains，andtookthelittlecoach-builder\'smeasure。Hegaugedtheman\'sinfatuation，andwasverywellsatisfiedtofindthatthevarnisheddoorsofatolerablysumptuousfuturewerereadytoturnatawordfromAntoniasosoonashisownfancyhadpassedoff。

"\'Andthatotheroneyonder？\'askedhe，pointingoutthestoutfine-

lookingelderlymanwiththeCrossoftheLegionofHonor。\'Whoishe？\'

"\'Aretiredcustom-houseofficer。\'

"\'Thecutofhiscountenanceisnotreassuring，\'saidMaxime，beholdingtheSieurDenisart。

"Andindeedtheoldsoldierheldhimselfuprightasasteeple。Hisheadwasremarkablefortheamountofpowderandpomatumbestoweduponit；helookedalmostlikeapostilionatafancyball。Underneaththatfeltedcovering，mouldedtothetopofthewearer\'scranium，appearedanelderlyprofile，half-official，half-soldierly，withacomicaladmixtureofarrogance，——altogethersomethinglikecaricaturesofthe/Constitutionnel/。Thesometimeofficialfindingthatage，andhair-

powder，andtheconformationofhisspinemadeitimpossibletoreadawordwithoutspectacles，satdisplayingaverycreditableexpanseofchestwithalltheprideofanoldmanwithamistress。LikeoldGeneralMontcornet，thatpillaroftheVaudeville，heworeearrings。

Denisartwaspartialtoblue；hisroomytrousersandwell-worngreatcoatwerebothofbluecloth。

"\'Howlongisitsincethatoldfogycamehere？\'inquiredMaxime，thinkingthathesawdangerinthespectacles。

"\'Oh，fromthebeginning，\'returnedAntonia，\'prettynearlytwomonthsagonow。\'

"\'Good，"saidMaximetohimself，\'Cerizetonlycametomeamonthago——Justgethimtotalk，\'headdedinAntonia\'sear；\'Iwanttohearhisvoice。\'

"\'Pshaw，\'saidshe，\'thatisnotsoeasy。Heneversaysawordtome。\'

"\'Thenwhydoeshecomehere？\'demandedMaxime。

"\'Foraqueerreason，\'returnedthefairAntonia。\'Inthefirstplace，althoughheissixty-nine，hehasafancy；andbecauseheissixty-nine，heisasmethodicalasaclockface。Everydayatfiveo\'clocktheoldgentlemangoestodinewith/her/intheRuedelaVictoire。(Iamsorryforher。)Thenatsixo\'clock，hecomeshere，readssteadilyatthepapersforfourhours，andgoesbackatteno\'clock。DaddyCroizeausaysthatheknowsM。Denisart\'smotives，andapproveshisconduct；andinhisplace，hewoulddothesame。SoI

knowexactlywhattoexpect。IfeverIamMme。Croizeau，Ishallhavefourhourstomyselfbetweensixandteno\'clock。\'

"Maximelookedthroughthedirectory，andfoundthefollowingreassuringitem:

"DENISART，*retiredcustom-houseofficer，RuedelaVictoire。

"Hisuneasinessvanished。

"GraduallytheSieurDenisartandtheSieurCroizeaubegantoexchangeconfidences。Nothingsobindstwomentogetherasasimilarityofviewsinthematterofwomankind。DaddyCroizeauwenttodinewith\'M。

Denisart\'sfairlady，\'ashecalledher。AndhereImustmakeasomewhatimportantobservation。

"Thereading-roomhadbeenpaidforhalfincash，halfinbillssignedbythesaidMlle。Chocardelle。The/quartd\'heuredeRabelais/

arrived；theCounthadnomoney。Sothefirstbillofthreethousandfrancswasmetbytheamiablecoach-builder；thatoldscoundrelDenisarthavingrecommendedhimtosecurehimselfwithamortgageonthereading-room。

"\'Formyownpart，\'saidDenisart，\'Ihaveseenprettydoingsfromprettywomen。Soinallcases，evenwhenIhavelostmyhead，Iamalwaysonmyguardwithawoman。Thereisthiscreature，forinstance；

Iammadlyinlovewithher；butthisisnotherfurniture；no，itbelongstome。Theleaseistakenoutinmyname。\'

"YouknowMaxime!Hethoughtthecoach-builderuncommonlygreen。

Croizeaumightpayallthreebills，andgetnothingforalongwhile；

forMaximefeltmoreinfatuatedwithAntoniathanever。”

"Icanwellbelieveit，"saidLaPalferine。"Sheisthe/bellaImperia/ofourday。”

"Withherroughskin!"exclaimedMalaga；"sorough，thatsheruinsherselfinbranbaths!"

"Croizeauspokewithacoach-builder\'sadmirationofthesumptuousfurnitureprovidedbytheamorousDenisartasasettingforhisfairone，describingitallindetailwithdiabolicalcomplacencyforAntonia\'sbenefit，"continuedDesroches。"Theebonychestsinlaidwithmother-of-pearlandgoldwire，theBrusselscarpets，amediaevalbedsteadworththreethousandfrancs，aBouleclock，candelabrainthefourcornersofthedining-room，silkcurtains，onwhichChinesepatiencehadwroughtpicturesofbirds，andhangingsoverthedoors，worthmorethantheportressthatopenedthem。

"\'Andthatiswhat/you/oughttohave，myprettylady——AndthatiswhatIshouldliketoofferyou，\'hewouldconclude。\'Iamquiteawarethatyouscarcelycareabitaboutme；but，atmyage，wecannotexpecttoomuch。JudgehowmuchIloveyou；Ihavelentyouathousandfrancs。Imustconfessthat，inallmyborndays，Ihavenotlentanybody/that/much——\'

"Heheldouthispennyashespoke，withtheimportantairofamanthatgivesalearneddemonstration。

"ThateveningattheVarietes，AntoniaspoketotheCount。

"\'Areading-roomisverydull，allthesame，\'saidshe；\'IfeelthatIhavenosortoftasteforthatkindoflife，andIseenofutureinit。Itisonlyfitforawidowthatwishestokeepbodyandsoultogether，orforsomehideouslyuglythingthatfanciesshecancatchahusbandwithalittlefinery。\'

"\'Itwasyourownchoice，\'returnedtheCount。Justatthatmoment，incameNucingen，ofwhomMaxime，kingoflions(the\'yellowkidgloves\'werethelionsofthatday)hadwonthreethousandfrancstheeveningbefore。Nucingenhadcometopayhisgamingdebt。

"\'EinwritofattachmenthafshoostpeenservedonmebyderorderofdotteufelGlabaron，\'hesaid，seeingMaxime\'sastonishment。

"\'Oh，sothatishowtheyaregoingtowork，isit？\'criedMaxime。

\'Theyarenotuptomuch，thatpair——\'

"\'Itmakesnot，\'saidthebanker，\'baydem，fordeymayapplydemselfstooderspesides，unddoyouharm。IdakedeesbrettyvomantovitnessdotIhafbaidyoudeesmorning，longpeforedatwritvasserfed。\'"

"Queenoftheboards，"smiledLaPalferine，lookingatMalaga，"thouartabouttolosethybet。”

"Once，alongtimeago，inasimilarcase，"resumedDesroches，"atoohonestdebtortookfrightattheideaofasolemndeclarationinacourtoflaw，anddeclinedtopayMaximeafternoticewasgiven。Thattimewemadeithotforthecreditorbypilingonwritsofattachment，soastoabsorbthewholeamountincosts——"

"Oh，whatisthat？"criedMalaga；"itallsoundslikegibberishtome。

Asyouthoughtthesturgeonsoexcellentatdinner，letmetakeoutthevalueofthesauceinlessonsinchicanery。”

"Verywell，"saidDesroches。"Supposethatamanowesyoumoney，andyourcreditorsserveawritofattachmentuponhim；thereisnothingtopreventallyourothercreditorsfromdoingthesamething。Andnowwhatdoesthecourtdowhenallthecreditorsmakeapplicationfororderstopay？/Thecourtdividesthewholesumattached，proportionatelyamongthemall。/Thatdivision，madeundertheeyeofamagistrate，iswhatwecalla/contribution/。Ifyouowetenthousandfrancs，andyourcreditorsissuewritsofattachmentonadebtduetoyouofathousandfrancs，eachoneofthemgetssomuchpercent，\'somuchinthepound，\'inlegalphrase；somuch(thatmeans)inproportiontotheamountsseverallyclaimedbythecreditors。But——thecreditorscannottouchthemoneywithoutaspecialorderfromtheclerkofthecourt。Doyouguesswhatallthisworkdrawnupbyajudgeandpreparedbyattorneysmustmean？Itmeansaquantityofstampedpaperfullofdiffuselinesandblanks，thefiguresalmostlostinvastspacesofcompletelyemptyruledcolumns。

Thefirstproceedingistodeductthecosts。Now，asthecostsarepreciselythesamewhethertheamountattachedisonethousandoronemillionfrancs，itisnotdifficulttoeatupthreethousandfrancs(forinstance)incosts，especiallyifyoucanmanagetoraisecounterapplications。”

"Andanattorneyalwaysmanagestodoit，"saidCardot。"Howmanyatimeoneofyouhascometomewith，\'Whatistheretobegotoutofthecase？\'"

"Itisparticularlyeasytomanageitifthedebtoreggsyouontorunupcoststilltheyeatuptheamount。And，asarule，theCount\'screditorstooknothingbythatmove，andwereoutofpocketinlawandpersonalexpenses。TogetmoneyoutofsoexperiencedadebtorastheCount，acreditorshouldreallybeinapositionuncommonlydifficulttoreach；itisaquestionofbeingcreditoranddebtorboth，forthenyouarelegallyentitledtoworktheconfusionofrights，inlawlanguage——"

"Totheconfusionofthedebtor？"askedMalaga，lendinganattentiveeartothisdiscourse。

"No，theconfusionofrightsofdebtorandcreditor，andpayyourselfthroughyourownhands。SoClaparon\'sinnocenceinmerelyissuingwritsofattachmenteasedtheCount\'smind。AshecamebackfromtheVarieteswithAntonia，hewassomuchthemoretakenwiththeideaofsellingthereading-roomtopayoffthelasttwothousandfrancsofthepurchase-money，becausehedidnotcaretohavehisnamemadepublicasapartnerinsuchaconcern。SoheadoptedAntonia\'splan。

Antoniawishedtoreachthehigherranksofhercalling，withsplendidrooms，amaid，andacarriage；inshort，shewantedtorivalourcharminghostess，forinstance——"

"Shewasnotwomanenoughforthat，"criedthefamousbeautyoftheCircus；"still，sheruinedyoungd\'Esgrignonveryneatly。”

"Tendaysafterwards，littleCroizeau，perchedonhisdignity，saidalmostexactlythesamething，forthefairAntonia\'sbenefit，"

continuedDesroches。

"\'Child，\'saidhe，\'yourreading-roomisaholeofaplace。Youwillloseyourcomplexion；thegaswillruinyoureyesight。Yououghttocomeoutofit；and，lookhere，letustakeadvantageofanopportunity。Ihavefoundayoungladyforyouthatasksnobetterthantobuyyourreading-room。Sheisaruinedwomanwithnothingbeforeherbutaplungeintotheriver；butshehadfourthousandfrancsincash，andthebestthingtodoistoturnthemtoaccount，soastofeedandeducateacoupleofchildren。\'

"\'Verywell。Itiskindofyou，DaddyCroizeau，\'saidAntonia。

"\'Oh，IshallbemuchkinderbeforeIhavedone。Justimagineit，poorM。Denisarthasbeenworriedintothejaundice!Yes，ithasgonetotheliver，asitusuallydoeswithsusceptibleoldmen。Itisapityhefeelsthingsso。Itoldhimsomyself；Isaid，"Bepassionate，thereisnoharminthat，butasfortakingthingstoheart——drawthelineatthat!Itisthewaytokillyourself。”——Really，Iwouldnothaveexpectedhimtotakeonsoaboutit；amanthathassenseenoughandexperienceenoughtokeepawayashedoeswhilehedigestshisdinner——\'

"\'Butwhatisthematter？\'inquiredMlle。Chocardelle。

"\'ThatlittlebaggagewithwhomIdinedhasclearedoutandlefthim!……Yes。Gavehimtheslipwithoutanywarningbutaletter，inwhichthespellingwasalltoseek。\'

"\'There，DaddyCroizeau，youseewhatcomesofboringawoman——\'

"\'Itisindeedalesson，myprettylady，\'saidtheguilefulCroizeau。

\'Meanwhile，Ihaveneverseenamaninsuchastate。OurfriendDenisartcannottellhislefthandfromhisright；hewillnotgobacktolookatthe"sceneofhishappiness，"ashecallsit。Hehassothoroughlylosthiswits，thatheproposesthatIshouldbuyallHortense\'sfurniture(Hortensewashername)forfourthousandfrancs。\'

"\'Aprettyname，\'saidAntonia。

"Yes。Napoleon\'sstepdaughterwascalledHortense。Ibuiltcarriagesforher，asyouknow。\'

"\'Verywell，Iwillsee，\'saidcunningAntonia；\'beginbysendingthisyoungwomantome。\'

"Antoniahurriedofftoseethefurniture，andcamebackfascinated。

ShebroughtMaximeunderthespellofantiquarianenthusiasm。ThatveryeveningtheCountagreedtothesaleofthereading-room。Theestablishment，yousee，nominallybelongedtoMlle。Chocardelle。

MaximeburstoutlaughingattheideaoflittleCroizeau\'sfindinghimabuyer。ThefirmofMaximeandChocardellewaslosingtwothousandfrancs，itistrue，butwhatwasthelosscomparedwithfourgloriousthousand-francnotesinhand？\'Fourthousandfrancsoflivecoin!——

therearemomentsinone\'slifewhenonewouldsignbillsforeightthousandtogetthem，\'astheCountsaidtome。

"TwodayslatertheCountmustseethefurniturehimself，andtookthefourthousandfrancsuponhim。Thesalehadbeenarranged；thankstolittleCroizeau\'sdiligence，hepushedmatterson；hehad\'comeround\'

thewidow，asheexpressedit。ItwasMaxime\'sintentiontohaveallthefurnitureremovedatoncetoalodginginanewhouseintheRueTronchet，takeninthenameofMme。IdaBonamy；hedidnottroublehimselfmuchabouttheniceoldmanthatwasabouttolosehisthousandfrancs。Buthehadsentbeforehandforseveralbigfurniturevans。

"Onceagainhewasfascinatedbythebeautifulfurniturewhichawholesaledealerwouldhavevaluedatsixthousandfrancs。Bythefiresidesatthewretchedowner，yellowwithjaundice，hisheadtiedupinacoupleofprintedhandkerchiefs，andacottonnight-capontopofthem；hewashuddledupinwrappingslikeachandelier，exhausted，unabletospeak，andaltogethersoknockedtopiecesthattheCountwasobligedtotransacthisbusinesswiththeman-servant。Whenhehadpaiddownthefourthousandfrancs，andtheservanthadtakenthemoneytohismasterforareceipt，Maximeturnedtotellthemantocallupthevanstothedoor；butevenashespoke，avoicelikearattlesoundedinhisears。

"\'Itisnotworthwhile，MonsieurleComte。YouandIarequits；I

havesixhundredandthirtyfrancsfifteencentimestogiveyou!\'

"Tohisutterconsternation，hesawCerizet，emergedfromhiswrappingslikeabutterflyfromthechrysalis，holdingouttheaccursedbundleofdocuments。

"\'WhenIwasdownonmyluck，Ilearnedtoactonthestage，\'addedCerizet。\'IamasgoodasBouffeatoldmen。\'

"\'Ihavefallenamongthieves!\'shoutedMaxime。

"\'No，MonsieurleComte，youareinMlle。Hortense\'shouse。SheisafriendofoldLordDudley\'s；hekeepsherhiddenawayhere；butshehasthebadtastetolikeyourhumbleservant。\'

"\'IfeverIlongedtokillaman，\'sotheCounttoldmeafterwards，\'itwasatthatmoment；butwhatcouldonedo？Hortenseshowedherprettyface，onehadtolaugh。Tokeepmydignity，Iflungherthesixhundredfrancs。"There\'sforthegirl，"saidI。\'"

"ThatisMaximeallover!"criedLaPalferine。

"MoreespeciallyasitwaslittleCroizeau\'smoney，"addedCardottheprofound。

"Maximescoredatriumph，"continuedDesroches，"forHortenseexclaimed，\'Oh，ifIhadonlyknownthatitwasyou!\'"

"Apretty\'confusion\'indeed!"putinMalaga。"Youhavelost，milord，"

sheaddedturningtothenotary。

Andinthiswaythecabinetmaker，towhomMalagaowedahundredcrowns，waspaid。