第4章

stationtoreporthisproceedings。Hecouldhavetakenherdirectly；buthisobjectwas，ifpossible，totraceoutthemanwhowassupposedtohavecommittedtherobbery。Thenheheardofthediscoveryofthebrooch；andconsequentlydidnotcaretoreturn。

Norahslepttilleventhesummereveningbegantoclosein。Thenup。Someonewasatthedoor。ItwouldbeMr。Frank；andshedizzilypushedbackherruffledgreyhair，whichhadfallenoverhereyes，andstoodlookingtoseehim。Instead，therecameinMr。

Openshawandapoliceman。

"ThisisNorahKennedy，"saidMr。Openshaw。

"O，sir，"saidNorah，"Ididnottouchthebrooch；indeedIdidnot。

O，sir，Icannotlivetobethoughtsobadlyof；"andverysickandfaint，shesuddenlysankdownontheground。Tohersurprise，Mr。

Openshawraisedherupverytenderly。Eventhepolicemanhelpedtolayheronthesofa；and，atMr。Openshaw\'sdesire，hewentforsomewineandsandwiches；forthepoorgauntwomanlaytherealmostasifdeadwithwearinessandexhaustion。

"Norah!"saidMr。Openshaw，inhiskindestvoice，"thebroochisfound。ItwashangingtoMrs。Chadwick\'sgown。Ibegyourpardon。

MosttrulyIbegyourpardon，forhavingtroubledyouaboutit。Mywifeisalmostbroken-hearted。Eat，Norah，——or，stay，firstdrinkthisglassofwine，"saidhe，liftingherhead，pouringalittledownherthroat。

Asshedrank，sherememberedwhereshewas，andwhoshewaswaitingfor。ShesuddenlypushedMr。Openshawaway，saying，"O，sir，youmustgo。Youmustnotstopaminute。Ifhecomesbackhewillkillyou。"

"Alas，Norah!Idonotknowwho\'he\'is。Butsomeoneisgoneawaywhowillnevercomeback:someonewhoknewyou，andwhomIamafraidyoucaredfor。"

"Idon\'tunderstandyou，sir，"saidNorah，hermaster\'skindandsorrowfulmannerbewilderingheryetmorethanhiswords。ThepolicemanhadlefttheroomatMr。Openshaw\'sdesire，andtheytwowerealone。

"YouknowwhatImean，whenIsaysomeoneisgonewhowillnevercomeback。Imeanthatheisdead!"

"Who?"saidNorah，tremblingallover。

"ApoormanhasbeenfoundintheThamesthismorning，drowned。"

"Didhedrownhimself?"askedNorah，solemnly。

"Godonlyknows，"repliedMr。Openshaw，inthesametone。"Yournameandaddressatourhouse，werefoundinhispocket:that，andhispurse，weretheonlythings，thatwerefounduponhim。Iamsorrytosayit，mypoorNorah；butyouarerequiredtogoandidentifyhim。"

"Towhat?"askedNorah。

"Tosaywhoitis。Itisalwaysdone，inorderthatsomereasonmaybediscoveredforthesuicide——ifsuicideitwas。Imakenodoubthewasthemanwhocametoseeyouatourhouselastnight。Itisverysad，Iknow。"Hemadepausesbetweeneachlittleclause，inordertotryandbringbackhersenses；whichhefearedwerewandering——sowildandsadwasherlook。

"MasterOpenshaw，"saidshe，atlast，"I\'veadreadfulsecrettotellyou——onlyyoumustneverbreatheittoanyone，andyouandI

musthideitawayforever。Ithoughttohavedoneitallbymyself，butIseeIcannot。Yonpoorman——yes!thedead，drownedcreatureis，Ifear，Mr。Frank，mymistress\'sfirsthusband!"

Mr。Openshawsatedown，asifshot。Hedidnotspeak；but，afterawhile，hesignedtoNorahtogoon。

"Hecametometheothernight——when——Godbethanked——youwereallawayatRichmond。Heaskedmeifhiswifewasdeadoralive。Iwasabrute，andthoughtmoreofourallcominghomethanofhissoretrial:spokeoutsharp，andsaidshewasmarriedagain，andverycontentandhappy:Iallbutturnedhimaway:andnowheliesdeadandcold!"

"Godforgiveme!"saidMr。Openshaw。

"Godforgiveusall!"saidNorah。"Yonpoormanneedsforgivenessperhapslessthananyoneamongus。Hehadbeenamongthesavages——

shipwrecked——Iknownotwhat——andhehadwrittenletterswhichhadneverreachedmypoormissus。"

"Hesawhischild!"

"Hesawher——yes!Itookhimup，togivehisthoughtsanotherstart；forIbelievedhewasgoingmadonmyhands。Icametoseekhimhere，asImorethanhalfpromised。MymindmisgavemewhenI

heardhehadnevercomein。O，sirIitmustbehim!"

Mr。Openshawrangthebell。Norahwasalmosttoomuchstunnedtowonderatwhathedid。Heaskedforwritingmaterials，wrotealetter，andthensaidtoNorah:

"IamwritingtoAlice，tosayIshallbeunavoidablyabsentforafewdays；thatIhavefoundyou；thatyouarewell，andsendheryourlove，andwillcomehometo-morrow。YoumustgowithmetothePoliceCourt；youmustidentifythebody:Iwillpayhightokeepname；anddetailsoutofthepapers。

"Butwhereareyougoing，sir?"

Hedidnotanswerherdirectly。Thenhesaid:

"Norah!Imustgowithyou，andlookonthefaceofthemanwhomI

havesoinjured，——unwittingly，itistrue；butitseemstomeasifIhadkilledhim。Iwilllayhisheadinthegrave，asifheweremyonlybrother:andhowhemusthavehatedme!IcannotgohometomywifetillallthatIcandoforhimisdone。ThenIgowithadreadfulsecretonmymind。Ishallneverspeakofitagain，afterthesedaysareover。Iknowyouwillnot，either。"Heshookhandswithher:andtheynevernamedthesubjectagain，theonetotheother。

NorahwenthometoAlicethenextday。Notawordwassaidonthecauseofherabruptdepartureadayortwobefore。Alicehadbeenchargedbyherhusbandinhisletternottoalludetothesupposedtheftofthebrooch；soshe，implicitlyobedienttothosewhomshelovedbothbynatureandhabit，wasentirelysilentonthesubject，onlytreatedNorahwiththemosttenderrespect，asiftomakeupforunjustsuspicion。

NordidAliceinquireintothereasonwhyMr。Openshawhadbeenabsentduringhisuncleandaunt\'svisit，afterhehadoncesaidthatitwasunavoidable。Hecameback，graveandquiet；and，fromthattimeforth，wascuriouslychanged。Morethoughtful，andperhapslessactive；quiteasdecidedinconduct，butwithnewanddifferentrulesfortheguidanceofthatconduct。TowardsAlicehecouldhardlybemorekindthanhehadalwaysbeen；buthenowseemedtolookuponherassomeonesacredandtobetreatedwithreverence，aswellastenderness。Hethroveinbusiness，andmadealargefortune，onehalfofwhichwassettleduponher。

Longyearsaftertheseevents，——afewmonthsafterhermotherdied，Ailsieandher"father"(asshealwayscalledMr。Openshaw)drovetoacemeteryalittlewayoutoftown，andshewascarriedtoacertainmoundbyhermaid，whowasthensentbacktothecarriage。

Therewasahead-stone，withF。W。andadate。Thatwasall。

Sittingbythegrave，Mr。Openshawtoldherthestory；andforthesadfateofthatpoorfatherwhomshehadneverseen，heshedtheonlytearssheeversawfallfromhiseyes。

***

"Amostinterestingstory，allthrough，"Isaid，asJarberfoldedupthefirstofhisseriesofdiscoveriesintriumph。"Astorythatgoesstraighttotheheart——especiallyattheend。But"——Istopped，andlookedatTrottle。

Trottleenteredhisprotestdirectlyintheshapeofacough。

"Well!"Isaid，beginningtolosemypatience。"Don\'tyouseethatIwantyoutospeak，andthatIdon\'twantyoutocough?"

"Quiteso，ma\'am，"saidTrottle，inastateofrespectfulobstinacywhichwouldhaveupsetthetemperofasaint。"Relative，Ipresume，tothisstory，ma\'am?"

"Yes，Yes!"saidJarber。"Byallmeansletushearwhatthisgoodmanhastosay。"

"Well，sir，"answeredTrottle，"IwanttoknowwhytheHouseoverthewaydoesn\'tlet，andIdon\'texactlyseehowyourstoryanswersthequestion。That\'sallIhavetosay，sir。"

Ishouldhavelikedtocontradictmyopinionatedservant，atthatmoment。But，excellentasthestorywasinitself，Ifeltthathehadhitontheweakpoint，sofarasJarber\'sparticularpurposeinreadingitwasconcerned。

"Andthatiswhatyouhavetosay，isit?"repeatedJarber。"I

enterthisroomannouncingthatIhaveaseriesofdiscoveries，andyoujumpinstantlytotheconclusionthatthefirstoftheseriesexhaustsmyresources。HaveIyourpermission，dearlady，toenlightenthisobtuseperson，ifpossible，byreadingNumberTwo?"

"Myworkisbehindhand，ma\'am，"saidTrottle，movingtothedoor，themomentIgaveJarberleavetogoon。

"Stopwhereyouare，"Isaid，inmymostperemptorymanner，"andgiveMr。Jarberhisfairopportunityofansweringyourobjectionnowyouhavemadeit。

Trottlesatdownwiththelookofamartyr，andJarberbegantoreadwithhisbackturnedontheenemymoredecidedlythanever。

GOINGINTOSOCIETY

Atoneperiodofitsreverses，theHousefellintotheoccupationofaShowman。Hewasfoundregisteredasitsoccupier，ontheparishbooksofthetimewhenherentedtheHouse，andtherewasthereforenoneedofanycluetohisname。But，hehimselfwaslesseasytobefound；for，hehadledawanderinglife，andsettledpeoplehadlostsightofhim，andpeoplewhoplumedthemselvesonbeingrespectablewereshyofadmittingthattheyhadeverknownanythingofhim。Atlast，amongthemarshlandsneartheriver\'slevel，thatlieaboutDeptfordandtheneighbouringmarket-gardens，aGrizzledPersonageinvelveteen，withafacesocutupbyvarietiesofweatherthathelookedasifhehadbeentattooed，wasfoundsmokingapipeatthedoorofawoodenhouseonwheels。Thewoodenhousewaslaidupinordinaryforthewinter，nearthemouthofamuddycreek；andeverythingnearit，thefoggyriver，themistymarshes，andthesteamingmarket-gardens，smokedincompanywiththegrizzledman。Inthemidstofthissmokingparty，thefunnel-chimneyofthewoodenhouseonwheelswasnotremiss，buttookitspipewiththerestinacompanionablemanner。

OnbeingaskedifitwerehewhohadoncerentedtheHousetoLet，GrizzledVelveteenlookedsurprised，andsaidyes。ThenhisnamewasMagsman?Thatwasit，TobyMagsman——whichlawfullychristenedRobert；butcalledintheline，fromainfant，Toby。TherewasnothingaginTobyMagsman，hebelieved?Iftherewassuspicionofsuch——mentionit!

Therewasnosuspicionofsuch，hemightrestassured。But，someinquiriesweremakingaboutthatHouse，andwouldheobjecttosaywhyheleftit?

Notatall；whyshouldhe?Heleftit，alongofaDwarf。

AlongofaDwarf?

Mr。Magsmanrepeated，deliberatelyandemphatically，AlongofaDwarf。

MightitbecompatiblewithMr。Magsman\'sinclinationandconveniencetoenter，asafavour，intoafewparticulars?

Mr。Magsmanenteredintothefollowingparticulars。

Itwasalongtimeago，tobeginwith；——aforelotteriesandadealmorewasdoneawaywith。Mr。Magsmanwaslookingaboutforagoodpitch，andheseethathouse，andhesaystohimself，"I\'llhaveyou，ifyou\'retobehad。Ifmoney\'llgetyou，I\'llhaveyou。"

Theneighbourscutuprough，andmadecomplaints；butMr。Magsmandon\'tknowwhattheyWOULDhavehad。Itwasalovelything。Firstofall，therewasthecanvass，representinthepicteroftheGiant，inSpanishtrunksandaruff，whowashimselfhalftheheighthofthehouse，andwasrunupwithalineandpulleytoapoleontheroof，sothathisEdwascoevalwiththeparapet。Then，therewasthecanvass，representinthepicteroftheAlbinalady，showingherwhiteairtotheArmyandNavyincorrectuniform。Then，therewasthecanvass，representinthepicteroftheWildIndianascalpinamemberofsomeforeignnation。Then，therewasthecanvass，representinthepicterofachildofaBritishPlanter，seizedbytwoBoaConstrictors——notthatWEneverhadnochild，nornoConstrictorsneither。Similarly，therewasthecanvass，representinthepicteroftheWildAssofthePrairies——notthatWEneverhadnowildasses，norwouldn\'thavehad\'ematagift。Last，therewasthecanvass，representinthepicteroftheDwarf，andlikehimtoo(considerin)，withGeorgetheFourthinsuchastateofastonishmentathimasHisMajestycouldn\'twithhisutmostpolitenessandstoutnessexpress。ThefrontoftheHousewassocoveredwithcanvasses，thattherewasn\'tasparkofdaylightevervisibleonthatside。"MAGSMAN\'SAMUSEMENTS，"fifteenfootlongbytwofoothigh，ranoverthefrontdoorandparlourwinders。ThepassagewasaArbourofgreenbaizeandgardenstuff。Abarrel-organperformedthereunceasing。Andastorespectability，——ifthreepenceain\'trespectable，whatis?

But，theDwarfistheprincipalarticleatpresent，andhewasworththemoney。HewaswroteupasMAJORTPSCHOFFKI，OFTHEIMPERIAL

BULGRADERIANBRIGADE。Nobodycouldn\'tpronouncethename，anditneverwasintendedanybodyshould。Thepublicalwaysturnedit，asaregularrule，intoChopski。InthelinehewascalledChops；

partlyonthataccount，andpartlybecausehisrealname，ifheeverhadanyrealname(whichwasverydubious)，wasStakes。

Hewasaun-commonsmallman，hereallywas。Certainlynotsosmallashewasmadeouttobe，butwhereISyourDwarfasis?Hewasamostuncommonsmallman，withamostuncommonlargeEd；andwhathehadinsidethatEd，nobodyeverknowedbuthimself:evensupposinhimselftohaveevertookstockofit，whichitwouldhavebeenastiffjobforevenhimtodo。

Thekindestlittlemanasnevergrowed!Spirited，butnotproud。

WhenhetravelledwiththeSpottedBaby——thoughheknowedhimselftobeanat\'ralDwarf，andknowedtheBaby\'sspotstobeputuponhimartificial，henursedthatBabylikeamother。Youneverheerdhimgiveaill-nametoaGiant。HeDIDallowhimselftobreakoutintostronglanguagerespectintheFatLadyfromNorfolk；butthatwasanaffairofthe\'art；andwhenaman\'s\'arthasbeentrifledwithbyalady，andthepreferencegivtoaIndian，heain\'tmasterofhisactions。

Hewasalwaysinlove，ofcourse；everyhumannat\'ralphenomenonis。

Andhewasalwaysinlovewithalargewoman；IneverknowedtheDwarfascouldbegottoloveasmallone。Whichhelpstokeep\'emtheCuriositiestheyare。

Onesing\'lerideahehadinthatEdofhis，whichmusthavemeantsomething，oritwouldn\'thavebeenthere。Itwasalwayshisopinionthathewasentitledtoproperty。Heneverwouldputhisnametoanything。Hehadbeentaughttowrite，bytheyoungmanwithoutarms，whogothislivingwithhistoes(quiteawritingmasterHEwas，andtaughtscoresintheline)，butChopswouldhavestarvedtodeath，aforehe\'dhavegainedabitofbreadbyputtinghishandtoapaper。Thisisthemorecurioustobearinmind，becauseHEhadnoproperty，norhopeofproperty，excepthishouseandasarser。WhenIsayhishouse，Imeanthebox，paintedandgotupoutsidelikeareg\'larsix-roomer，thatheusedtocreepinto，withadiamondring(orquiteasgoodtolookat)onhisforefinger，andringalittlebelloutofwhatthePublicbelievedtobetheDrawing-roomwinder。AndwhenIsayasarser，ImeanaChaneysarserinwhichhemadeacollectionforhimselfattheendofeveryEntertainment。Hiscueforthat，hetookfromme:"Ladiesandgentlemen，thelittlemanwillnowwalkthreetimesroundtheCairawan，andretirebehindthecurtain。"Whenhesaidanythingimportant，inprivatelife，hemostlywounditupwiththisformofwords，andtheywasgenerallythelastthinghesaidtomeatnightaforehewenttobed。

HehadwhatIconsiderafinemind——apoeticmind。Hisideasrespectinhispropertynevercomeuponhimsostrongaswhenhesatuponabarrel-organandhadthehandleturned。Arterthewibrationhadrunthroughhimalittletime，hewouldscreechout，"Toby，I

feelmypropertycoming——grindaway!I\'mcountingmyguineasbythousands，Toby——grindaway!Toby，Ishallbeamanoffortun!I

feeltheMintajinglinginme，Toby，andI\'mswellingoutintotheBankofEngland!"Suchistheinfluenceofmusiconapoeticmind。

Notthathewaspartialtoanyothermusicbutabarrel-organ；onthecontrary，hatedit。

HehadakindofaeverlastinggrudgeaginthePublic:whichisathingyoumaynoticeinmanyphenomenonsthatgettheirlivingoutofit。Whatriledhimmostinthenaterofhisoccupationwas，thatitkephimoutofSociety。Hewascontiniwallysaying，"Toby，myambitionis，togointoSociety。ThecurseofmypositiontowardsthePublicis，thatitkeepsmehoutofSociety。Thisdon\'tsignifytoalowbeastofaIndian；hean\'tformedforSociety。Thisdon\'tsignifytoaSpottedBaby；HEan\'tformedforSociety——Iam。"

NobodynevercouldmakeoutwhatChopsdonewithhismoney。Hehadagoodsalary，downonthedrumeverySaturdayasthedaycameround，besideshavingtherunofhisteeth——andhewasaWoodpeckertoeat——butallDwarfsare。Thesarserwasalittleincome，bringinghiminsomanyhalfpencethathe\'dcarry\'emforaweektogether，tiedupinapocket-handkercher。Andyetheneverhadmoney。Anditcouldn\'tbetheFatLadyfromNorfolk，aswasoncesupposed；becauseitstandstoreasonthatwhenyouhaveaanimositytowardsaIndian，whichmakesyougrindyourteethathimtohisface，andwhichcanhardlyholdyoufromGoosinghimaudiblewhenhe\'sgoingthroughhisWar-Dance——itstandstoreasonyouwouldn\'tunderthemcircumstancesdepriveyourself，tosupportthatIndianinthelapofluxury。

Mostunexpected，themysterycomeoutonedayatEghamRaces。ThePublicwasshyofbeinpulledin，andChopswasringinhislittlebelloutofhisdrawing-roomwinder，andwassnarlintomeoverhisshoulderashekneeleddownwithhislegsoutattheback-door——forhecouldn\'tbeshovedintohishousewithoutkneelingdown，andthepremiseswouldn\'taccommodatehislegs——wassnarlin，"Here\'sapreciousPublicforyou；whytheDevildon\'ttheytumbleup?"whenamaninthecrowdholdsupacarrier-pigeon，andcriesout，"Ifthere\'sanypersonhereashasgotaticket，theLottery\'sjustdrawed，andthenumberashascomeupforthegreatprizeisthree，seven，forty-two!Three，seven，forty-two!"IwasgivinthemantotheFuriesmyself，forcallingoffthePublic\'sattention——forthePublicwillturnaway，atanytime，tolookatanythinginpreferencetothethingshowed\'em；andifyoudoubtit，get\'emtogetherforanyindiwidualpurposeonthefaceoftheearth，andsendonlytwopeopleinlate，andseeifthewholecompanyan\'tfarmoreinterestedintakinparticularnoticeofthemtwothanofyou——

Isay，Iwasn\'tbestpleasedwiththemanforcallinout，andwasn\'tblessinhiminmyownmind，whenIseeChops\'slittlebellflyoutofwinderataoldlady，andhegetsupandkickshisboxover，exposinthewholesecret，andhecatchesholdofthecalvesofmylegsandhesaystome，"Carrymeintothewan，Toby，andthrowapailofwaterovermeorI\'madeadman，forI\'vecomeintomyproperty!"

Twelvethousandoddhundredpound，wasChops\'swinnins。Hehadboughtahalf-ticketforthetwenty-fivethousandprize，andithadcomeup。Thefirstusehemadeofhisproperty，was，tooffertofighttheWildIndianforfivehundredpoundaside，himwithapoisoneddarnin-needleandtheIndianwithaclub；buttheIndianbeinginwantofbackerstothatamount，itwentnofurther。

Arterhehadbeenmadforaweek——inastateofmind，inshort，inwhich，ifIhadlethimsitontheorganforonlytwominutes，I

believehewouldhavebust——butwekeptheorganfromhim——Mr。Chopscomeround，andbehavedliberalandbeautifultoall。Hethensentforayoungmanheknowed，ashadawerygenteelappearanceandwasaBonnetatagaming-booth(mostrespectablebroughtup，fatherhavinbeenimminentintheliverystablelinebutunfort\'nateinacommercialcrisis，throughpaintinaoldgray，ginger-bay，andsellinhimwithaPedigree)，andMr。ChopssaidtothisBonnet，whosaidhisnamewasNormandy，whichitwasn\'t:

"Normandy，I\'magoinintoSociety。Willyougowithme?"

SaysNormandy:"DoIunderstandyou，Mr。Chops，tohintimatethatthe\'oleoftheexpensesofthatmovewillbebornebyyourself?"

"Correct，"saysMr。Chops。"AndyoushallhaveaPrincelyallowancetoo。"

TheBonnetliftedMr。Chopsuponachair，toshakehandswithhim，andrepliedinpoetry，withhiseyesseeminglyfulloftears:

"Myboatisontheshore，Andmybarkisonthesea，AndIdonotaskformore，ButI\'llGo:-alongwiththee。"

TheywentintoSociety，inachayandfourgrayswithsilkjackets。

TheytooklodgingsinPallMall，London，andtheyblazedaway。

InconsequenceofanotethatwasbroughttoBartlemyFairintheautumnofnextyearbyaservant，mostwonderfulgotupinmilk-

whitecordsandtops，IcleanedmyselfandwenttoPallMall，oneeveningappinted。Thegentlemenwasattheirwinearterdinner，andMr。Chops\'seyeswasmorefixedinthatEdofhisthanIthoughtgoodforhim。Therewasthreeof\'em(incompany，Imean)，andI

knowedthethirdwell。Whenlastmet，hehadonawhiteRomanshirt，andabishop\'smitrecoveredwithleopard-skin，andplayedtheclarionetallwrong，inabandataWildBeastShow。

Thisgenttookonnottoknowme，andMr。Chopssaid:"Gentlemen，thisisaoldfriendofformerdays:"andNormandylookedatmethroughaeye-glass，andsaid，"Magsman，gladtoseeyou!"——whichI\'lltakemyoathhewasn\'t。Mr。Chops，togithimconvenienttothetable，hadhischaironathrone(muchoftheformofGeorgetheFourth\'sinthecanvass)，buthehardlyappearedtometobeKingthereinanyotherpintofview，forhistwogentlemenorderedaboutlikeEmperors。TheywasalldressedlikeMay-Day——gorgeous!——AndastoWine，theyswaminallsorts。

Imadetheroundofthebottles，firstseparate(tosayIhaddoneit)，andthenmixed\'emalltogether(tosayIhaddoneit)，andthentriedtwoof\'emashalf-and-half，andthent\'othertwo。

Altogether，Ipassedapleasinevenin，butwithatendencytofeelmuddled，untilIconsidereditgoodmannerstogetupandsay，"Mr。

Chops，thebestoffriendsmustpart，Ithankyouforthewarietyofforeigndrainsyouhavestoodso\'ansome，Ilookstowardsyouinredwine，andItakesmyleave。"Mr。Chopsreplied，"Ifyou\'lljusthitchmeoutofthisoveryourrightarm，Magsman，andcarrymedown-stairs，I\'llseeyouout。"IsaidIcouldn\'tthinkofsuchathing，buthewouldhaveit，soIliftedhimoffhisthrone。HesmeltstrongofMaideary，andIcouldn\'thelpthinkingasIcarriedhimdownthatitwaslikecarryingalargebottlefullofwine，witharaytheruglystopper，agooddealoutofproportion。

WhenIsethimonthedoor-matinthehall，hekepmeclosetohimbyholdingontomycoat-collar，andhewhispers:

"Iain\'t\'appy，Magsman。"

"What\'sonyourmind，Mr。Chops?"

"Theydon\'tusemewell。Theyan\'tgratefultome。Theyputsmeonthemantel-piecewhenIwon\'thaveinmoreChampagne-wine，andtheylocksmeinthesideboardwhenIwon\'tgiveupmyproperty。"

"Getridof\'em，Mr。Chops。"

"Ican\'t。We\'reinSocietytogether，andwhatwouldSocietysay?"

"ComeoutofSociety!"saysI。

"Ican\'t。Youdon\'tknowwhatyou\'retalkingabout。WhenyouhaveoncegoneintoSociety，youmustn\'tcomeoutofit。"

"Thenifyou\'llexcusethefreedom，Mr。Chops，"weremyremark，shakingmyheadgrave，"Ithinkit\'sapityyoueverwentin。"

Mr。ChopsshookthatdeepEdofhis，toasurprisinextent，andslappedithalfadozentimeswithhishand，andwithmoreWicethanIthoughtwereinhim。Then，hesays，"You\'reagoodfellow，butyoudon\'tunderstand。Good-night，goalong。Magsman，thelittlemanwillnowwalkthreetimesroundtheCairawan，andretirebehindthecurtain。"ThelastIseeofhimonthatoccasionwashistryin，ontheextremestwergeofinsensibility，toclimbupthestairs，onebyone，withhishandsandknees。They\'dhavebeenmuchtoosteepforhim，ifhehadbeensober；buthewouldn\'tbehelped。

Itwarn\'tlongafterthat，thatIreadinthenewspaperofMr。

Chops\'sbeingpresentedatcourt。Itwasprinted，"Itwillberecollected"——andI\'venoticedinmylife，thatitissuretobeprintedthatitWILLberecollected，wheneveritwon\'t——"thatMr。

Chopsistheindividualofsmallstature，whosebrilliantsuccessinthelastStateLotteryattractedsomuchattention。"Well，Isaystomyself，SuchisLife!Hehasbeenanddoneitinearnestatlast。HehasastonishedGeorgetheFourth!

(Onaccountofwhich，Ihadthatcanvassnew-painted，himwithabagofmoneyinhishand，apresentinittoGeorgetheFourth，andaladyinOstrichFeathersfallininlovewithhiminabag-wig，sword，andbucklescorrect。)

ItooktheHouseasisthesubjectofpresentinquiries——thoughnotthehonourofbeinacquainted——andIrunMagsman\'sAmusementsinitthirteenmonths——sometimesonething，sometimesanother，sometimesnothinparticular，butalwaysallthecanvassesoutside。Onenight，whenwehadplayedthelastcompanyout，whichwasashycompany，throughitsrainingHeavenshard，Iwastakinapipeintheonepairbackalongwiththeyoungmanwiththetoes，whichIhadtakenonforamonth(thoughheneverdrawed——exceptonpaper)，andIheardakickinatthestreetdoor。"Halloa!"Isaystotheyoungman，"what\'sup!"Herubshiseyebrowswithhistoes，andhesays，"I

can\'timagine，Mr。Magsman"——whichhenevercouldimaginenothin，andwasmonotonouscompany。

Thenoisenotleavinoff，Ilaiddownmypipe，andItookupacandle，andIwentdownandopenedthedoor。Ilookedoutintothestreet；butnothincouldIsee，andnothinwasIawareof，untilI

turnedroundquick，becausesomecreeturrunbetweenmylegsintothepassage。TherewasMr。Chops!

"Magsman，"hesays，"takeme，ontheoldterms，andyou\'vegotme；

ifit\'sdone，saydone!"

Iwasallofamaze，butIsaid，"Done，sir。"

"Donetoyourdone，anddoubledone!"sayshe。"Haveyougotabitofsupperinthehouse?"

Bearininmindthemsparklinwarietiesofforeigndrainsaswe\'dguzzledawayatinPallMall，Iwasashamedtoofferhimcoldsassagesandgin-and-water；buthetook\'embothandtook\'emfree；

havinachairforhistable，andsittindownatitonastool，likeholdtimes。I，allofamazeallthewhile。

Itwasarterhehadmadeacleansweepofthesassages(beef，andtothebestofmycalculationstwopoundandaquarter)，thatthewisdomaswasinthatlittlemanbegantocomeoutofhimlikeprespiration。

"Magsman，"hesays，"lookuponme!Youseeaforeyou，OneashasbothgoneintoSocietyandcomeout。"

"O!YouAREoutofit，Mr。Chops?Howdidyougetout，sir?"

"SOLDOUT!"sayshe。YouneversawthelikeofthewisdomashisEdexpressed，whenhemadeuseofthemtwowords。

"MyfriendMagsman，I\'llimparttoyouadiscoveryI\'vemade。It\'swallable；it\'scosttwelvethousandfivehundredpound；itmaydoyougoodinlife——Thesecretofthismatteris，thatitain\'tsomuchthatapersongoesintoSociety，asthatSocietygoesintoaperson。"

Notexactlykeepinupwithhismeanin，Ishookmyhead，putonadeeplook，andsaid，"You\'rerightthere，Mr。Chops。"

"Magsman，"hesays，twitchinmebytheleg，"Societyhasgoneintome，tothetuneofeverypennyofmyproperty。"