第5章

Isthishowyoukeepyourpromiseofblindobedience？"

"WhatcanIdo，Marguerite？IloveyoutoomuchandIamjealousoftheleastofyourthoughts。Whatyouproposedtomejustnowmademefranticwithdelight，butthemysteryinitscarryingouthurtsmedreadfully。"

"Come，letusreasonitout，"shesaid，takingbothmyhandsandlookingatmewithacharmingsmilewhichitwasimpossibletoresist，"Youloveme，doyounot？andyouwouldgladlyspendtwoorthreemonthsalonewithmeinthecountry？Itooshouldbegladofthissolitudeadeux，andnotonlygladofit，butmyhealthrequiresit。IcannotleaveParisforsuchalengthoftimewithoutputtingmyaffairsinorder，andtheaffairsofawomanlikemearealwaysingreatconfusion；well，Ihavefoundawaytoreconcileeverything，mymoneyaffairsandmyloveforyou；yes，foryou，don\'tlaugh；Iamsillyenoughtoloveyou！

Andhereyouaretakinglordlyairsandtalkingbigwords。Child，thricechild，onlyrememberthatIloveyou，anddon\'tletanythingdisturbyou。Now，isitagreed？"

"Iagreetoallyouwish，asyouknow。"

"Then，inlessthanamonth\'stimeweshallbeinsomevillage，walkingbytheriverside，anddrinkingmilk。DoesitseemstrangethatMargueriteGautiershouldspeaktoyoulikethat？

Thefactis，myfriend，thatwhenthisParislife，whichseemstomakemesohappy，doesn\'tburnme，itweariesme，andthenIhavesuddenaspirationstowardacalmerexistencewhichmightrecallmychildhood。Onehasalwayshadachildhood，whateveronebecomes。Don\'tbealarmed；IamnotgoingtotellyouthatIamthedaughterofacolonelonhalf-pay，andthatIwasbroughtupatSaint-Denis。Iamapoorcountrygirl，andsixyearsagoI

couldnotwritemyownname。Youarerelieved，aren\'tyou？WhyisityouarethefirstwhomIhaveeveraskedtosharethejoyofthisdesireofmine？IsupposebecauseIfeelthatyoulovemeformyselfandnotforyourself，whilealltheothershaveonlylovedmeforthemselves。

"Ihaveoftenbeeninthecountry，butneverasIshouldliketogothere。Icountonyouforthiseasyhappiness；donotbeunkind，letmehaveit。Saythistoyourself：\'Shewillneverlivetobeold，andIshouldsomedaybesorryfornothavingdoneforherthefirstthingsheaskedofme，suchaneasythingtodo！\'"

WhatcouldIreplytosuchwords，especiallywiththememoryofafirstnightoflove，andintheexpectationofasecond？

AnhourlaterIheldMargueriteinmyarms，and，ifshehadaskedmetocommitacrime，Iwouldhaveobeyedher。

AtsixinthemorningIlefther，andbeforeleavingherIsaid：

"Tillto-night！"Shekissedmemorewarmlythanever，butsaidnothing。

DuringthedayIreceivedanotecontainingthesewords：

"DEARCHILD：Iamnotverywell，andthedoctorhasorderedquiet。Ishallgotobedearlyto-nightandshallnotseeyou。

But，tomakeup，Ishallexpectyouto-morrowattwelve。Iloveyou。"

Myfirstthoughtwas：Sheisdeceivingme！

Acoldsweatbrokeoutonmyforehead，forIalreadylovedthiswomantoomuchnottobeoverwhelmedbythesuspicion。Andyet，I

wasboundtoexpectsuchathingalmostanydaywithMarguerite，andithadhappenedtomeoftenenoughwithmyothermistresses，withoutmytakingmuchnoticeofit。Whatwasthemeaningoftheholdwhichthiswomanhadtakenuponmylife？

Thenitoccurredtome，sinceIhadthekey，togoandseeherasusual。InthiswayIshouldsoonknowthetruth，andifIfoundamanthereIwouldstrikehimintheface。

MeanwhileIwenttotheChamps-Elysees。Iwaitedtherefourhours。Shedidnotappear。AtnightIwentintoallthetheatreswhereshewasaccustomedtogo。Shewasinnoneofthem。

Ateleveno\'clockIwenttotheRued\'Antin。TherewasnolightinMarguerite\'swindows。Allthesame，Irang。TheporteraskedmewhereIwasgoing。

"ToMlle。Gautier\'s，"Isaid。

"Shehasnotcomein。"

"Iwillgoupandwaitforher。"

"Thereisnoonethere。"

EvidentlyIcouldgetin，sinceIhadthekey，but，fearingfoolishscandal，Iwentaway。OnlyIdidnotreturnhome；Icouldnotleavethestreet，andInevertookmyeyesoffMarguerite\'shouse。Itseemedtomethattherewasstillsomethingtobefoundout，oratleastthatmysuspicionswereabouttobeconfirmed。

AboutmidnightacarriagethatIknewwellstoppedbeforeNo。9。

TheComtedeG。gotdownandenteredthehouse，aftersendingawaythecarriage。ForamomentIhopedthatthesameanswerwouldbegiventohimastome，andthatIshouldseehimcomeout；butatfouro\'clockinthemorningIwasstillawaitinghim。

Ihavesuffereddeeplyduringtheselastthreeweeks，butthatisnothing，Ithink，incomparisonwithwhatIsufferedthatnight。

Chapter14

WhenIreachedhomeIbegantocrylikeachild。Thereisnomantowhomawomanhasnotbeenunfaithful，onceatleast，andwhowillnotknowwhatIsuffered。

Isaidtomyself，undertheweightofthesefeverishresolutionswhichonealwaysfeelsasifonehadtheforcetocarryout，thatImustbreakwithmyamouratonce，andIwaitedimpatientlyfordaylightinordertosetoutforthwithtorejoinmyfatherandmysister，ofwhoseloveatleastIwascertain，andcertainthatthatlovewouldneverbebetrayed。

However，IdidnotwishtogoawaywithoutlettingMargueriteknowwhyIwent。Onlyamanwhoreallycaresnomoreforhismistressleavesherwithoutwritingtoher。Imadeandremadetwentylettersinmyhead。Ihadhadtodowithawomanlikeallotherwomenofthekind。Ihadbeenpoetizingtoomuch。Shehadtreatedmelikeaschool-boy，shehadusedindeceivingmeatrickwhichwasinsultinglysimple。Myself-esteemgottheupperhand。Imustleavethiswomanwithoutgivingherthesatisfactionofknowingthatshehadmademesuffer，andthisiswhatIwrotetoherinmymosteleganthandwritingandwithtearsofrageandsorrowinmyeyes：

"MYDEARMARGUERITE：Ihopethatyourindispositionyesterdaywasnotserious。Icame，atelevenatnight，toaskafteryou，andwastoldthatyouhadnotcomein。M。deG。wasmorefortunate，forhepresentedhimselfshortlyafterward，andatfourinthemorninghehadnotleft。

"ForgivemeforthefewtedioushoursthatIhavegivenyou，andbeassuredthatIshallneverforgetthehappymomentswhichI

owetoyou。

"Ishouldhavecalledto-daytoaskafteryou，butIintendgoingbacktomyfather\'s。

"Good-bye，mydearMarguerite。IamnotrichenoughtoloveyouasIwouldnorpoorenoughtoloveyouasyouwould。Letusthenforget，youanamewhichmustbeindifferentenoughtoyou，Iahappinesswhichhasbecomeimpossible。

"Isendbackyourkey，whichIhaveneverused，andwhichmightbeusefultoyou，ifyouareoftenillasyouwereyesterday。"

Asyouwillsee，Iwasunabletoendmyletterwithoutatouchofimpertinentirony，whichprovedhowmuchinloveIstillwas。

Ireadandrereadthislettertentimesover；thenthethoughtofthepainitwouldgivetoMargueritecalmedmealittle。Itriedtopersuademyselfofthefeelingswhichitprofessed；andwhenmyservantcametomyroomateighto\'clock，Igaveittohimandtoldhimtotakeitatonce。

"ShallIwaitforananswer？"askedJoseph（myservant，likeallservants，wascalledJoseph）。

"Iftheyaskwhetherthereisareply，youwillsaythatyoudon\'tknow，andwait。"

Ibuoyedmyselfupwiththehopethatshewouldreply。Poor，feeblecreaturesthatweare！AllthetimethatmyservantwasawayIwasinastateofextremeagitation。AtonemomentIwouldrecallhowMargueritehadgivenherselftome，andaskmyselfbywhatrightIwroteheranimpertinentletter，whenshecouldreplythatitwasnotM。deG。whosupplantedme，butIwhohadsupplantedM。deG。：amodeofreasoningwhichpermitsmanywomentohavemanylovers。AtanothermomentIwouldrecallherpromises，andendeavourtoconvincemyselfthatmyletterwasonlytoogentle，andthattherewerenotexpressionsforcibleenoughtopunishawomanwholaughedatalovelikemine。ThenI

saidtomyselfthatIshouldhavedonebetternottohavewrittentoher，buttohavegonetoseeher，andthatthenIshouldhavehadthepleasureofseeingthetearsthatshewouldshed。

Finally，Iaskedmyselfwhatshewouldreplytome；alreadypreparedtobelievewhateverexcuseshemade。

Josephreturned。

"Well？"Isaidtohim。

"Sir，"saidhe，"madamewasnotup，andstillasleep，butassoonassheringstheletterwillbetakentoher，andifthereisanyreplyitwillbesent。"

Shewasasleep！

TwentytimesIwasonthepointofsendingtogettheletterback，buteverytimeIsaidtomyself："Perhapsshewillhavegotitalready，anditwouldlookasifIhaverepentedofsendingit。"

Asthehouratwhichitseemedlikelythatshewouldreplycamenearer，IregrettedmoreandmorethatIhadwritten。Theclockstruck，ten，eleven，twelve。AttwelveIwasonthepointofkeepingtheappointmentasifnothinghadhappened。IntheendI

couldseenowayoutofthecircleoffirewhichcloseduponme。

ThenIbegantobelieve，withthesuperstitionwhichpeoplehavewhentheyarewaiting，thatifIwentoutforalittlewhile，I

shouldfindananswerwhenIgotback。Iwentoutunderthepretextofgoingtolunch。

InsteadoflunchingattheCafeFoy，atthecorneroftheBoulevard，asIusuallydid，IpreferredtogotothePalaisRoyalandsopassthroughtheRued\'Antin。EverytimethatIsawawomanatadistance，IfancieditwasNaninebringingmeananswer。IpassedthroughtheRued\'Antinwithoutevencomingacrossacommissionaire。IwenttoVery\'sinthePalaisRoyal。

Thewaitergavemesomethingtoeat，orratherserveduptomewhateverheliked，forIatenothing。Inspiteofmyself，myeyeswereconstantlyfixedontheclock。Ireturnedhome，certainthatIshouldfindaletterfromMarguerite。

Theporterhadreceivednothing，butIstillhopedinmyservant。

HehadseennoonesinceIwentout。

IfMargueritehadbeengoingtoanswermeshewouldhaveansweredlongbefore。

ThenIbegantoregretthetermsofmyletter；Ishouldhavesaidabsolutelynothing，andthatwouldundoubtedlyhavearousedhersuspicions，for，findingthatIdidnotkeepmyappointment，shewouldhaveinquiredthereasonofmyabsence，andonlythenI

shouldhavegivenittoher。Thus，shewouldhavehadtoexculpateherself，andwhatIwantedwasforhertoexculpateherself。IalreadyrealizedthatIshouldhavebelievedwhateverreasonsshehadgivenme，andanythingwasbetterthannottoseeheragain。

AtlastIbegantobelievethatshewouldcometoseemeherself；

buthourfollowedhour，andshedidnotcome。

DecidedlyMargueritewasnotlikeotherwomen，fortherearefewwhowouldhavereceivedsuchaletterasIhadjustwrittenwithoutansweringitatall。

Atfive，IhastenedtotheChamps-Elysees。"IfImeether，"I

thought，"Iwillputonanindifferentair，andshewillbeconvincedthatInolongerthinkabouther。"

AsIturnedthecorneroftheRueRoyale，Isawherpassinhercarriage。ThemeetingwassosuddenthatIturnedpale。Idonotknowifshesawmyemotion；asforme，IwassoagitatedthatI

sawnothingbutthecarriage。

IdidnotgoanyfartherinthedirectionoftheChamps-Elysees。

Ilookedattheadvertisementsofthetheatres，forIhadstillachanceofseeingher。TherewasafirstnightatthePalaisRoyal。Margueritewassuretobethere。Iwasatthetheatrebyseven。Theboxesfilledoneafteranother，butMargueritewasnotthere。IleftthePalaisRoyalandwenttoallthetheatreswhereshewasmostoftentobeseen：totheVaudeville，theVarietes，theOperaComique。Shewasnowhere。

Eithermyletterhadtroubledhertoomuchforhertocaretogotothetheatre，orshefearedtocomeacrossme，andsowishedtoavoidanexplanation。Somyvanitywaswhisperingtomeontheboulevards，whenImetGaston，whoaskedmewhereIhadbeen。

"AtthePalaisRoyal。"

"AndIattheOpera，"saidhe；"Iexpectedtoseeyouthere。"

"Why？"

"BecauseMargueritewasthere。"

"Ah，shewasthere？"

"Yes。

"Alone？"

"No；withanotherwoman。"

"Thatall？"

"TheComtedeG。cametoherboxforaninstant；butshewentoffwiththeduke。Iexpectedtoseeyoueverymoment，fortherewasastallatmysidewhichremainedemptythewholeevening，andI

wassureyouhadtakenit。"

"ButwhyshouldIgowhereMargueritegoes？"

"Becauseyouareherlover，surely！"

"Whotoldyouthat？"

"Prudence，whomImetyesterday。Igiveyoumycongratulations，mydearfellow；sheisacharmingmistress，anditisn\'teverybodywhohasthechance。Sticktoher；shewilldoyoucredit。"

ThesesimplereflectionsofGastonshowedmehowabsurdhadbeenmysusceptibilities。IfIhadonlymethimthenightbeforeandhehadspokentomelikethat，IshouldcertainlynothavewrittenthefoolishletterwhichIhadwritten。

IwasonthepointofcallingonPrudence，andofsendinghertotellMargueritethatIwantedtospeaktoher；butIfearedthatshewouldrevengeherselfonmebysayingthatshecouldnotseeme，andIreturnedhome，afterpassingthroughtheRued\'Antin。

AgainIaskedmyporteriftherewasaletterforme。Nothing！

SheiswaitingtoseeifIshalltakesomefreshstep，andifI

retractmyletterofto-day，IsaidtomyselfasIwenttobed；

but，seeingthatIdonotwrite，shewillwritetometo-morrow。

Thatnight，morethanever，IreproachedmyselfforwhatIhaddone。Iwasalone，unabletosleep，devouredbyrestlessnessandjealousy，whenbysimplylettingthingstaketheirnaturalcourseIshouldhavebeenwithMarguerite，hearingthedeliciouswordswhichIhadheardonlytwice，andwhichmademyearsburninmysolitude。

Themostfrightfulpartofthesituationwasthatmyjudgmentwasagainstme；asamatteroffact，everythingwenttoprovethatMargueritelovedme。First，herproposaltospendthesummerwithmeinthecountry，thenthecertaintythattherewasnoreasonwhysheshouldbemymistress，sincemyincomewasinsufficientforherneedsandevenforhercaprices。Therecouldnotthenhavebeenonherpartanythingbutthehopeoffindinginmeasincereaffection，abletogiveherrestfromthemercenarylovesinwhosemidstshelived；andontheveryseconddayIhaddestroyedthishope，andpaidbyimpertinentironyforthelovewhichIhadacceptedduringtwonights。WhatIhaddonewasthereforenotmerelyridiculous，itwasindelicate。Ihadnotevenpaidthewoman，thatImighthavesomerighttofindfaultwithher；withdrawingaftertwodays，wasInotlikeaparasiteoflove，afraidofhavingtopaythebillofthebanquet？What！I

hadonlyknownMargueriteforthirty-sixhours；Ihadbeenherloverforonlytwenty-four；andinsteadofbeingtoohappythatsheshouldgrantmeallthatshedid，Iwantedtohaveheralltomyself，andtomakeherseveratonestrokeallherpastrelationswhichweretherevenueofherfuture。WhathadItoreproachinher？Nothing。Shehadwrittentosayshewasunwell，whenshemighthavesaidtomequitecrudely，withthehideousfranknessofcertainwomen，thatshehadtoseealover；and，insteadofbelievingherletter，insteadofgoingtoanystreetinParisexcepttheRued\'Antin，insteadofspendingtheeveningwithmyfriends，andpresentingmyselfnextdayattheappointedhour，IwasactingtheOthello，spyinguponher，andthinkingtopunishherbyseeinghernomore。But，onthecontrary，sheoughttobeenchantedatthisseparation。Sheoughttofindmesupremelyfoolish，andhersilencewasnoteventhatofrancour；

itwascontempt。

ImighthavemadeMargueriteapresentwhichwouldleavenodoubtastomygenerosityandpermitmetofeelproperlyquitsofher，asofakeptwoman，butIshouldhavefeltthatIwasoffendingbytheleastappearanceoftrafficking，ifnotthelovewhichshehadforme，atalleventsthelovewhichIhadforher，andsincethislovewassopurethatitcouldadmitnodivision，itcouldnotpaybyapresent，howevergenerous，thehappinessthatithadreceived，howevershortthathappinesshadbeen。

ThatiswhatIsaidtomyselfallnightlong，andwhatIwaseverymomentpreparedtogoandsaytoMarguerite。WhenthedaydawnedIwasstillsleepless。Iwasinafever。IcouldthinkofnothingbutMarguerite。

Asyoucanimagine，itwastimetotakeadecidedstep，andfinisheitherwiththewomanorwithone\'sscruples，if，thatis，shewouldstillbewillingtoseeme。Butyouknowwell，oneisalwaysslowintakingadecidedstep；so，unabletoremainwithindoorsandnotdaringtocallonMarguerite，Imadeoneattemptinherdirection，anattemptthatIcouldalwayslookuponasamerechanceifitsucceeded。

Itwasnineo\'clock，andIwentatoncetocalluponPrudence，whoaskedtowhatsheowedthisearlyvisit。Idarednottellherfranklywhatbroughtme。IrepliedthatIhadgoneoutearlyinordertoreserveaplaceinthediligenceforC。，wheremyfatherlived。

"Youarefortunate，"shesaid，"inbeingabletogetawayfromParisinthisfineweather。"

IlookedatPrudence，askingmyselfwhethershewaslaughingatme，butherfacewasquiteserious。

"Shallyougoandsaygood-byetoMarguerite？"shecontinued，asseriouslyasbefore。

"No。"

"Youarequiteright。"

"Youthinkso？"

"Naturally。Sinceyouhavebrokenwithher，whyshouldyouseeheragain？"

"Youknowitisbrokenoff？"

"Sheshowedmeyourletter。"

"Whatdidshesayaboutit？"

"Shesaid：\'MydearPrudence，yourprotegeisnotpolite；onethinkssuchletters，onedoesnotwritethem。"\'

"Inwhattonedidshesaythat？"

"Laughingly，andsheadded："Hehashadsupperwithmetwice，andhasn\'tevencalled。"\'

That，then，wastheeffectproducedbymyletterandmyjealousy。

Iwascruellyhumiliatedinthevanityofmyaffection。

"Whatdidshedolastnight？"

"Shewenttotheopera。"

"Iknow。Andafterward？"

"Shehadsupperathome。"

"Alone？"

"WiththeComtedeG。，Ibelieve。"

Somybreakingwithherhadnotchangedoneofherhabits。Itisforsuchreasonsasthisthatcertainpeoplesaytoyou：Don\'thaveanythingmoretodowiththewoman；shecaresnothingaboutyou。

"Well，IamverygladtofindthatMargueritedoesnotputherselfoutforme，"Isaidwithaforcedsmile。

"Shehasverygoodreasonnotto。Youhavedonewhatyouwereboundtodo。Youhavebeenmorereasonablethanshe，forshewasreallyinlovewithyou；shedidnothingbuttalkofyou。Idon\'tknowwhatshewouldnothavebeencapableofdoing。"

"Whyhasn\'tsheansweredme，ifshewasinlovewithme？"

"Becausesherealizesshewasmistakeninlettingherselfloveyou。Womensometimesallowyoutobeunfaithfultotheirlove；

theyneverallowyoutowoundtheirself-esteem；andonealwayswoundstheself-esteemofawomanwhen，twodaysafteronehasbecomeherlover，oneleavesher，nomatterforwhatreason。I

knowMarguerite；shewoulddiesoonerthanreply。"

"WhatcanIdo，then？"

"Nothing。Shewillforgetyou，youwillforgether，andneitherwillhaveanyreproachtomakeagainsttheother。"

"ButifIwriteandaskherforgiveness？"

"Don\'tdothat，forshewouldforgiveyou。"

IcouldhaveflungmyarmsroundPrudence\'sneck。

AquarterofanhourlaterIwasoncemoreinmyownquarters，andIwrotetoMarguerite：

"Someone，whorepentsofaletterthathewroteyesterdayandwhowillleaveParisto-morrowifyoudonotforgivehim，wishestoknowatwhathourhemightlayhisrepentanceatyourfeet。

"Whencanhefindyoualone？for，youknow，confessionsmustbemadewithoutwitnesses。"

Ifoldedthiskindofmadrigalinprose，andsentitbyJoseph，whohandedittoMargueriteherself；sherepliedthatshewouldsendtheanswerlater。

Ionlywentouttohaveahastydinner，andatelevenintheeveningnoreplyhadcome。Imadeupmymindtoendureitnolonger，andtosetoutnextday。Inconsequenceofthisresolution，andconvincedthatIshouldnotsleepifIwenttobed，Ibegantopackupmythings。

Chapter15

ItwashardlyanhourafterJosephandIhadbegunpreparingformydeparture，whentherewasaviolentringatthedoor。

"ShallIgotothedoor？"saidJoseph。

"Go，"Isaid，askingmyselfwhoitcouldbeatsuchanhour，andnotdaringtobelievethatitwasMarguerite。

"Sir，"saidJosephcomingbacktome，"itistwoladies。"

"Itiswe，Armand，"criedavoicethatIrecognisedasthatofPrudence。

Icameoutofmyroom。Prudencewasstandinglookingaroundtheplace；Marguerite，seatedonthesofa，wasmeditating。Iwenttoher，kneltdown，tookhertwohands，and，deeplymoved，saidtoher，"Pardon。"

Shekissedmeontheforehead，andsaid：

"ThisisthethirdtimethatIhaveforgivenyou。"

"Ishouldhavegoneawayto-morrow。"

"Howcanmyvisitchangeyourplans？IhavenotcometohinderyoufromleavingParis。IhavecomebecauseIhadnotimetoansweryouduringtheday，andIdidnotwishtoletyouthinkthatIwasangrywithyou。Prudencedidn\'twantmetocome；shesaidthatImightbeintheway。"

"Youintheway，Marguerite！Buthow？"

"Well，youmighthavehadawomanhere，"saidPrudence，"anditwouldhardlyhavebeenamusingforhertoseetwomorearrive。"

DuringthisremarkMargueritelookedatmeattentively。

"MydearPrudence，"Ianswered，"youdonotknowwhatyouaresaying。"

"Whataniceplaceyou\'vegot！"Prudencewenton。"Mayweseethebedroom？"

"Yes。"

Prudencewentintothebedroom，notsomuchtoseeitastomakeupforthefoolishthingwhichshehadjustsaid，andtoleaveMargueriteandmealone。

"WhydidyoubringPrudence？"Iaskedher。

"Becauseshewasatthetheatrewithme，andbecausewhenIleavehereIwanttohavesomeonetoseemehome。"

"CouldnotIdo？"

"Yes，but，besidesnotwishingtoputyouout，Iwassurethatifyoucameasfarasmydooryouwouldwanttocomeup，andasI

couldnotletyou，Ididnotwishtoletyougoawayblamingmeforsaying\'No。\'"

"Andwhycouldyounotletmecomeup？"

"BecauseIamwatched，andtheleastsuspicionmightdomethegreatestharm。"

"Isthatreallytheonlyreason？"

"Iftherewereanyother，Iwouldtellyou；forwearenottohaveanysecretsfromoneanothernow。"

"Come，Marguerite，IamnotgoingtotakearoundaboutwayofsayingwhatIreallywanttosay。Honestly，doyoucareformealittle？"

"Agreatdeal。"

"Thenwhydidyoudeceiveme？"

"Myfriend，ifIweretheDuchessSoandSo，ifIhadtwohundredthousandfrancsayear，andifIwereyourmistressandhadanotherlover，youwouldhavetherighttoaskme；butIamMlle。

MargueriteGautier，Iamfortythousandfrancsindebt，Ihavenotapennyofmyown，andIspendahundredthousandfrancsayear。Yourquestionbecomesunnecessaryandmyansweruseless。"

"Youareright，"Isaid，lettingmyheadsinkonherknees；"butIloveyoumadly。"

"Well，myfriend，youmusteitherlovemealittlelessorunderstandmealittlebetter。Yourlettergavemeagreatdealofpain。IfIhadbeenfree，firstofallIwouldnothaveseenthecountthedaybeforeyesterday，or，ifIhad，Ishouldhavecomeandaskedyourforgivenessasyouaskmenow，andinfutureIshouldhavehadnootherloverbutyou。IfanciedforamomentthatImightgivemyselfthathappinessforsixmonths；youwouldnothaveit；youinsistedonknowingthemeans。Well，goodheavens，themeanswereeasyenoughtoguess！InemployingthemI

wasmakingagreatersacrificeforyouthanyouimagine。Imighthavesaidtoyou，\'Iwanttwentythousandfrancs\'；youwereinlovewithmeandyouwouldhavefoundthem，attheriskofreproachingmeforitlateron。Ipreferredtooweyounothing；

youdidnotunderstandthescruple，forsuchitwas。Thoseofuswhoarelikeme，whenwehaveanyheartatall，wegiveameaningandadevelopmenttowordsandthingsunknowntootherwomen；I

repeat，then，thatonthepartofMargueriteGautierthemeanswhichsheusedtopayherdebtswithoutaskingyouforthemoneynecessaryforit，wasascruplebywhichyououghttoprofit，withoutsayinganything。Ifyouhadonlymetmeto-day，youwouldbetoodelightedwithwhatIpromisedyou，andyouwouldnotquestionmeastowhatIdidthedaybeforeyesterday。Wearesometimesobligedtobuythesatisfactionofoursoulsattheexpenseofourbodies，andwesufferstillmore，when，afterward，thatsatisfactionisdeniedus。"

Ilistened，andIgazedatMargueritewithadmiration。WhenI

thoughtthatthismarvellouscreature，whosefeetIhadoncelongedtokiss，waswillingtoletmetakemyplaceinherthoughts，mypartinherlife，andthatIwasnotyetcontentwithwhatshegaveme，Iaskedifman\'sdesirehasindeedlimitswhen，satisfiedaspromptlyasminehadbeen，itreachedaftersomethingfurther。

"Truly，"shecontinued，"wepoorcreaturesofchancehavefantasticdesiresandinconceivableloves。Wegiveourselvesnowforonething，nowforanother。Therearemenwhoruinthemselveswithoutobtainingtheleastthingfromus；thereareotherswhoobtainusforabouquetofflowers。Ourheartshavetheircaprices；itistheironedistractionandtheironeexcuse。I

gavemyselftoyousoonerthanIeverdidtoanyman，Isweartoyou；anddoyouknowwhy？Becausewhenyousawmespittingbloodyoutookmyhand；becauseyouwept；becauseyouaretheonlyhumanbeingwhohaseverpitiedme。Iamgoingtosayamadthingtoyou：IoncehadalittledogwholookedatmewithasadlookwhenIcoughed；thatistheonlycreatureIeverloved。WhenhediedIcriedmorethanwhenmymotherdied。Itistruethatfortwelveyearsofherlifesheusedtobeatme。Well，Ilovedyouallatonce，asmuchasmydog。Ifmenknewwhattheycanhaveforatear，theywouldbebetterlovedandweshouldbelessruinoustothem。

"Yourletterundeceivedme；itshowedmethatyoulackedtheintelligenceoftheheart；itdidyoumoreharmwithmethananythingyoucouldpossiblyhavedone。Itwasjealousycertainly，butironicalandimpertinentjealousy。IwasalreadyfeelingsadwhenIreceivedyourletter。Iwaslookingforwardtoseeingyouattwelve，tohavinglunchwithyou，andwipingout，byseeingyou，athoughtwhichwaswithmeincessantly，andwhich，beforeI

knewyou，Ihadnodifficultyintolerating。

"Then，"continuedMarguerite，"youweretheonlypersonbeforewhomitseemedtome，fromthefirst，thatIcouldthinkandspeakfreely。Allthosewhocomeaboutwomenlikemehaveaninterestincalculatingtheirslightestwords，inthinkingoftheconsequencesoftheirmostinsignificantactions。Naturallywehavenofriends。Wehaveselfishloverswhospendtheirfortunes，riotonus，astheysay，butontheirownvanity。Forthesepeoplewehavetobemerrywhentheyaremerry，wellwhentheywanttosup，scepticslikethemselves。Wearenotallowedtohavehearts，underpenaltyofbeinghooteddownandofruiningourcredit。

"Wenolongerbelongtoourselves。Wearenolongerbeings，butthings。Westandfirstintheirself-esteem，lastintheiresteem。Wehavewomenwhocallthemselvesourfriends，buttheyarefriendslikePrudence，womenwhowereoncekeptandwhohavestillthecostlytastesthattheiragedoesnotallowthemtogratify。Thentheybecomeourfriends，orratherourguestsattable。Theirfriendshipiscarriedtothepointofservility，nevertothatofdisinterestedness。Neverdotheygiveyouadvicewhichisnotlucrative。Itmeanslittleenoughtothemthatweshouldhavetenloversextra，aslongastheygetdressesorabraceletoutofthem，andthattheycandriveinourcarriagefromtimetotimeorcometoourboxatthetheatre。Theyhaveourlastnight\'sbouquets，andtheyborrowourshawls。Theyneverrenderusaservice，howeverslight，withoutseeingthattheyarepaidtwiceitsvalue。YouyourselfsawwhenPrudencebroughtmethesixthousandfrancsthatIhadaskedhertogetfromtheduke，howsheborrowedfivehundredfrancs，whichshewillneverpaymeback，orwhichshewillpaymeinhats，whichwillneverbetakenoutoftheirboxes。

"Wecannot，then，have，orratherIcannothavemorethanonepossiblekindofhappiness，andthisis，sadasIsometimesam，sufferingasIalwaysam，tofindamansuperiorenoughnottoaskquestionsaboutmylife，andtobetheloverofmyimpressionsratherthanofmybody。SuchamanIfoundintheduke；butthedukeisold，andoldageneitherprotectsnorconsoles。IthoughtIcouldacceptthelifewhichheofferedme；

butwhatwouldyouhave？Iwasdyingofennui，andifoneisboundtobeconsumed，itisaswelltothrowoneselfintotheflamesastobeasphyxiatedwithcharcoal。

"ThenImetyou，young，ardent，happy，andItriedtomakeyouthemanIhadlongedforinmynoisysolitude。WhatIlovedinyouwasnotthemanwhowas，butthemanwhowasgoingtobe。Youdonotaccepttheposition，yourejectitasunworthyofyou；youareanordinarylover。Doliketheothers；payme，andsaynomoreaboutit。"

Marguerite，tiredoutwiththislongconfession，threwherselfbackonthesofa，andtostifleaslightcoughputupherhandkerchieftoherlips，andfromthattohereyes。

"Pardon，pardon，"Imurmured。"Iunderstooditall，butIwantedtohaveitfromyourownlips，mybelovedMarguerite。Forgettherestandrememberonlyonething：thatwebelongtooneanother，thatweareyoung，andthatwelove。Marguerite，dowithmeasyouwill；Iamyourslave，yourdog，butinthenameofheaventearuptheletterwhichIwrotetoyouanddonotmakemeleaveyouto-morrow；itwouldkillme。"

Margueritedrewtheletterfromherbosom，andhandingittomewithasmileofinfinitesweetness，said：

"Hereitis。Ihavebroughtitback。"

Itoretheletterintofragmentsandkissedwithtearsthehandthatgaveittome。

AtthismomentPrudencereappeared。

"Lookhere，Prudence；doyouknowwhathewants？"saidMarguerite。

"Hewantsyoutoforgivehim。"

"Precisely。"

"Andyoudo？"

"Onehasto；buthewantsmorethanthat。"

"What，then？"

"Hewantstohavesupperwithus。"

"Anddoyouconsent？"

"Whatdoyouthink？"

"Ithinkthatyouaretwochildrenwhohaven\'tanatomofsensebetweenyou；butIalsothinkthatIamveryhungry，andthatthesooneryouconsentthesoonerweshallhavesupper。"

"Come，"saidMarguerite，"thereisroomforthethreeofusinmycarriage。"

"Bytheway，"sheadded，turningtome，"Naninewillbegonetobed。Youmustopenthedoor；takemykey，andtrynottoloseitagain。"

IembracedMargueriteuntilshewasalmoststifled。

ThereuponJosephentered。

"Sir，"hesaid，withtheairofamanwhoisverywellsatisfiedwithhimself，"theluggageispacked。"

"Allofit？"

"Yes，sir。"

"Well，then，unpackitagain；Iamnotgoing。"

Chapter16

Imighthavetoldyouofthebeginningofthisliaisoninafewlines，butIwantedyoutoseeeverystepbywhichwecame，ItoagreetowhateverMargueritewished，Margueritetobeunabletoliveapartfromme。

ItwasthedayaftertheeveningwhenshecametoseemethatI

sentherManonLescaut。

Fromthattime，seeingthatIcouldnotchangemymistress\'slife，Ichangedmyown。IwishedaboveallnottoleavemyselftimetothinkoverthepositionIhadaccepted，for，inspiteofmyself，itwasagreatdistresstome。Thusmylife，generallysocalm，assumedallatonceanappearanceofnoiseanddisorder。

Neverbelieve，howeverdisinterestedtheloveofakeptwomanmaybe，thatitwillcostonenothing。Nothingissoexpensiveastheircaprices，flowers，boxesatthetheatre，suppers，daysinthecountry，whichonecanneverrefusetoone\'smistress。

AsIhavetoldyou，Ihadlittlemoney。Myfatherwas，andstillis，receveurgeneralatC。Hehasagreatreputationthereforloyalty，thankstowhichhewasabletofindthesecuritywhichheneededinordertoattainthisposition。

Itisworthfortythousandfrancsayear，andduringthetenyearsthathehashadit，hehaspaidoffthesecurityandputasideadowryformysister。Myfatheristhemosthonourablemanintheworld。Whenmymotherdied，sheleftsixthousandfrancsayear，whichhedividedbetweenmysisterandmyselfontheverydaywhenhereceivedhisappointment；then，whenIwastwenty-one，headdedtothislittleincomeanannualallowanceoffivethousandfrancs，assuringmethatwitheightthousandfrancsayearImightliveveryhappilyatParis，if，inadditiontothis，Iwouldmakeapositionformyselfeitherinlawormedicine。IcametoParis，studiedlaw，wascalledtothebar，and，likemanyotheryoungmen，putmydiplomainmypocket，andletmyselfdrift，asonesoeasilydoesinParis。

Myexpenseswereverymoderate；onlyIusedupmyyear\'sincomeineightmonths，andspentthefoursummermonthswithmyfather，whichpracticallygavemetwelvethousandfrancsayear，and，inaddition，thereputationofagoodson。Fortherest，notapennyofdebt。

This，then，wasmypositionwhenImadetheacquaintanceofMarguerite。Youcanwellunderstandthat，inspiteofmyself，myexpensessoonincreased。Marguerite\'snaturewasverycapricious，and，likesomanywomen，sheneverregardedasaseriousexpensethosethousandandonedistractionswhichmadeupherlife。So，wishingtospendasmuchtimewithmeaspossible，shewouldwritetomeinthemorningthatshewoulddinewithme，notathome，butatsomerestaurantinParisorinthecountry。Iwouldcallforher，andwewoulddineandgoontothetheatre，oftenhavingsupperaswell；andbytheendoftheeveningIhadspentfourorfivelouis，whichcametotwoorthreethousandfrancsamonth，whichreducedmyyeartothreemonthsandahalf，andmadeitnecessaryformeeithertogointodebtortoleaveMarguerite。Iwouldhaveconsentedtoanythingexceptthelatter。

ForgivemeifIgiveyouallthesedetails，butyouwillseethattheywerethecauseofwhatwastofollow。WhatItellyouisatrueandsimplestory，andIleavetoitallthenaiveteofitsdetailsandallthesimplicityofitsdevelopments。

Irealizedthenthatasnothingintheworldwouldmakemeforgetmymistress，itwasneedfulformetofindsomewayofmeetingtheexpensesintowhichshedrewme。Then，too，myloveforherhadsodisturbinganinfluenceuponmethateverymomentIspentawayfromMargueritewaslikeayear，andthatIfelttheneedofconsumingthesemomentsinthefireofsomesortofpassion，andoflivingthemsoswiftlyasnottoknowthatIwaslivingthem。

Ibeganbyborrowingfiveorsixthousandfrancsonmylittlecapital，andwiththisItooktogambling。Sincegamblinghousesweredestroyedgamblinggoesoneverywhere。Formerly，whenonewenttoFrascati，onehadthechanceofmakingafortune；oneplayedagainstmoney，andifonelost，therewasalwaystheconsolationofsayingthatonemighthavegained；whereasnow，exceptintheclubs，wherethereisstillacertainrigourinregardtopayments，oneisalmostcertain，themomentonegainsaconsiderablesum，nottoreceiveit。Youwillreadilyunderstandwhy。Gamblingisonlylikelytobecarriedonbyyoungpeopleverymuchinneedofmoneyandnotpossessingthefortunenecessaryforsupportingthelifetheylead；theygamble，then，andwiththisresult；orelsetheygain，andthenthosewholoseservetopayfortheirhorsesandmistresses，whichisverydisagreeable。Debtsarecontracted，acquaintancesbegunaboutagreentableendbyquarrelsinwhichlifeorhonourcomestogrief；andthoughonemaybeanhonestman，onefindsoneselfruinedbyveryhonestmen，whoseonlydefectisthattheyhavenottwohundredthousandfrancsayear。

Ineednottellyouofthosewhocheatatplay，andofhowonehearsonefinedayoftheirhastydisappearanceandtardycondemnation。

Iflungmyselfintothisrapid，noisy，andvolcaniclife，whichhadformerlyterrifiedmewhenIthoughtofit，andwhich。hadbecomeformethenecessarycomplementofmyloveforMarguerite。

WhatelsecouldIhavedone？

ThenightsthatIdidnotspendintheRued\'Antin，ifIhadspentthemaloneinmyownroom，Icouldnothaveslept。Jealousywouldhavekeptmeawake，andinflamedmybloodandmythoughts；

whilegamblinggaveanewturntothefeverwhichwouldotherwisehavepreyeduponmyheart，andfixedituponapassionwhichlaidholdonmeinspiteofmyself，untilthehourstruckwhenImightgotomymistress。Then，andbythisIknewtheviolenceofmylove，Ileftthetablewithoutamoment\'shesitation，whetherI

waswinningorlosing，pityingthosewhomIleftbehindbecausetheywouldnot，likeme，findtheirrealhappinessinleavingit。

Forthemostofthem，gamblingwasanecessity；forme，itwasaremedy。FreeofMarguerite，Ishouldhavebeenfreeofgambling。

Thus，inthemidstofallthat，Ipreservedaconsiderableamountofself-possession；IlostonlywhatIwasabletopay，andgainedonlywhatIshouldhavebeenabletolose。

Fortherest，chancewasonmyside。Imadenodebts，andIspentthreetimesasmuchmoneyaswhenIdidnotgamble。ItwasimpossibletoresistanexistencewhichgavemeaneasymeansofsatisfyingthethousandcapricesofMarguerite。Asforher，shecontinuedtolovemeasmuch，orevenmorethanever。

AsItoldyou，Ibeganbybeingallowedtostayonlyfrommidnighttosixo\'clock，thenIwasaskedsometimestoaboxinthetheatre，thenshesometimescametodinewithme。OnemorningIdidnotgotilleight，andtherecameadaywhenIdidnotgotilltwelve。

But，soonerthanthemoralmetamorphosis，aphysicalmetamorphosiscameaboutinMarguerite。Ihadtakenhercureinhand，andthepoorgirl，seeingmyaim，obeyedmeinordertoprovehergratitude。Ihadsucceededwithouteffortortroubleinalmostisolatingherfromherformerhabits。Mydoctor，whomI

hadmadehermeet，hadtoldmethatonlyrestandcalmcouldpreserveherhealth，sothatinplaceofsupperandsleeplessnights，Isucceededinsubstitutingahygienicregimeandregularsleep。Inspiteofherself，Margueritegotaccustomedtothisnewexistence，whosesalutaryeffectsshealreadyrealized。Shebegantospendsomeofhereveningsathome，or，iftheweatherwasfine，shewrappedherselfinashawl，putonaveil，andwewentonfoot，liketwochildren，inthedimalleysoftheChamps-Elysees。Shewouldcomeintired，takealightsupper，andgotobedafteralittlemusicorreading，whichshehadneverbeenusedtodo。Thecough，whicheverytimethatIhearditseemedtogothroughmychest，hadalmostcompletelydisappeared。

Attheendofsixweeksthecountwasentirelygivenup，andonlythedukeobligedmetoconcealmyliaisonwithMarguerite，andevenhewassentawaywhenIwasthere，underthepretextthatshewasasleepandhadgivenordersthatshewasnottobeawakened。

ThehabitortheneedofseeingmewhichMargueritehadnowcontractedhadthisgoodresult：thatitforcedmetoleavethegaming-tablejustatthemomentwhenanadroitgamblerwouldhaveleftit。Settlingonethingagainstanother，Ifoundmyselfinpossessionofsometenthousandfrancs，whichseemedtomeaninexhaustiblecapital。

ThetimeoftheyearwhenIwasaccustomedtojoinmyfatherandsisterhadnowarrived，andIdidnotgo；bothofthemwrotetomefrequently，beggingmetocome。TotheselettersIrepliedasbestIcould，alwaysrepeatingthatIwasquitewellandthatI

wasnotinneedofmoney，twothingswhich，Ithought，wouldconsolemyfatherformydelayinpayinghimmyannualvisit。

Justthen，onefinedayinsummer，Margueritewasawakenedbythesunlightpouringintoherroom，and，jumpingoutofbed，askedmeifIwouldtakeherintothecountryforthewholeday。

WesentforPrudence，andallthreesetoff，afterMargueritehadgivenNanineorderstotellthedukethatshehadtakenadvantageofthefinedaytogointothecountrywithMme。Duvernoy。

BesidesthepresenceofMme。Duvernoybeingneedfulonaccountoftheoldduke，Prudencewasoneofthosewomenwhoseemmadeonpurposefordaysinthecountry。Withherunchanginggood-humourandhereternalappetite，sheneverleftadullmomenttothosewhomshewaswith，andwasperfectlyhappyinorderingeggs，cherries，milk，stewedrabbit，andalltherestofthetraditionallunchinthecountry。

Wehadnowonlytodecidewhereweshouldgo。ItwasoncemorePrudencewhosettledthedifficulty。

"Doyouwanttogototherealcountry？"sheasked。

"Yes。"

"Well，letusgotoBougival，atthePointduJour，atWidowArnould\'s。Armand，orderanopencarriage。"

AnhourandahalflaterwewereatWidowArnould\'s。

Perhapsyouknowtheinn，whichisahotelonweekdaysandateagardenonSundays。Thereisamagnificentviewfromthegarden，whichisattheheightofanordinaryfirstfloor。OnthelefttheAqueductofMarlyclosesinthehorizon，ontherightonelooksacrossbillafterhill；theriver，almostwithoutcurrentatthatspot，unrollsitselflikealargewhitewateredribbonbetweentheplainoftheGabillonsandtheislandofCroissy，lulledeternallybythetremblingofitshighpoplarsandthemurmurofitswillows。Beyond，distinctinthesunlight，riselittlewhitehouses，withredroofs，andmanufactories，which，atthatdistance，putanadmirablefinishtothelandscape。Beyondthat，Parisinthemist！AsPrudencehadtoldus，itwastherealcountry，and，Imustadd，itwasareallunch。

ItisnotonlyoutofgratitudeforthehappinessIoweit，butBougival，inspiteofitshorriblename，isoneoftheprettiestplacesthatitispossibletoimagine。Ihavetravelledagooddeal，andseenmuchgranderthings，butnonemorecharmingthanthislittlevillagegailyseatedatthefootofthehillwhichprotectsit。

Mme。Arnouldaskedusifwewouldtakeaboat，andMargueriteandPrudenceacceptedjoyously。

Peoplehavealwaysassociatedthecountrywithlove，andtheyhavedonewell；nothingaffordssofineaframeforthewomanwhomonelovesasthebluesky，theodours，theflowers，thebreeze，theshiningsolitudeoffields，orwoods。Howevermuchonelovesawoman，whateverconfidenceonemayhaveinher，whatevercertaintyherpastmayofferusastoherfuture，oneisalwaysmoreorlessjealous。Ifyouhavebeeninlove，youmusthavefelttheneedofisolatingfromthisworldthebeinginwhomyouwouldlivewholly。Itseemsasif，howeverindifferentshemaybetohersurroundings，thewomanwhomoneloveslosessomethingofherperfumeandofherunityatthecontactofmenandthings。Asforme，Iexperiencedthatmorethanmost。Minewasnotanordinarylove；Iwasasmuchinloveasanordinarycreaturecouldbe，butwithMargueriteGautier；thatistosay，thatatParis，ateverystep，Imightelbowthemanwhohadalreadybeenherloverorwhowasaboutto，whileinthecountry，surroundedbypeoplewhomwehadneverseenandwhohadnoconcernwithus，alonewithnatureinthespring-timeoftheyear，thatannualpardon，andshutofffromthenoiseofthecity，Icouldhidemylove，andlovewithoutshameorfear。

Thecourtesandisappearedlittlebylittle。Ihadbymeayoungandbeautifulwoman，whomIloved，andwholovedme，andwhowascalledMarguerite；thepasthadnomorerealityandthefuturenomoreclouds。Thesunshoneuponmymistressasitmighthaveshoneuponthepurestbride。WewalkedtogetherinthosecharmingspotswhichseemedtohavebeenmadeonpurposetorecalltheversesofLamartineortosingthemelodiesofScudo。Margueritewasdressedinwhite，sheleanedonmyarm，sayingovertomeagainunderthestarryskythewordsshehadsaidtomethedaybefore，andfarofftheworldwentonitsway，withoutdarkeningwithitsshadowtheradiantpictureofouryouthandlove。

Thatwasthedreamthatthehotsunbroughttomethatdaythroughtheleavesofthetrees，as，lyingonthegrassoftheislandonwhichwehadlanded，Iletmythoughtwander，freefromthehumanlinksthathadboundit，gatheringtoitselfeveryhopethatcameinitsway。

AddtothisthatfromtheplacewhereIwasIcouldseeontheshoreacharminglittlehouseoftwostories，withasemicircularrailing；throughtherailing，infrontofthehouse，agreenlawn，smoothasvelvet，andbehindthehousealittlewoodfullofmysteriousretreats，wherethemossmusteffaceeachmorningthepathwaythathadbeenmadethedaybefore。Climbingflowersclungaboutthedoorwayofthisuninhabitedhouse，mountingashighasthefirststory。

IlookedatthehousesolongthatIbeganbythinkingofitasmine，soperfectlydiditembodythedreamthatIwasdreaming；I

sawMargueriteandmyselfthere，bydayinthelittlewoodthatcoveredthehillside，intheeveningseatedonthegrass，andI

askedmyselfifearthlycreatureshadeverbeensohappyasweshouldbe。

"Whataprettyhouse！"Margueritesaidtome，asshefollowedthedirectionofmygazeandperhapsofmythought。

"Where？"askedPrudence。

"Yonder，"andMargueritepointedtothehouseinquestion。

"Ah，delicious！"repliedPrudence。"Doyoulikeit？"

"Verymuch。"

"Well，telltheduketotakeitforyou；hewoulddoso，Iamsure。I\'llseeaboutitifyoulike。"

Margueritelookedatme，asiftoaskmewhatIthought。MydreamvanishedatthelastwordsofPrudence，andbroughtmebacktorealitysobrutallythatIwasstillstunnedwiththefall。

"Yes，yes，anexcellentidea，"Istammered，notknowingwhatI

wassaying。

"Well，Iwillarrangethat，"saidMarguerite，freeingmyhand，andinterpretingmywordsaccordingtoherowndesire。"Letusgoandseeifitistolet。"

Thehousewasempty，andtoletfortwothousandfrancs。

"Wouldyoubehappyhere？"shesaidtome。

"AmIsureofcominghere？"

"AndforwhomelseshouldIburymyselfhere，ifnotforyou？"

"Well，then，Marguerite，letmetakeitmyself。"

"Youaremad；notonlyisitunnecessary，butitwouldbedangerous。YouknowperfectlywellthatIhavenorighttoacceptitsavefromoneman。Letmealone，bigbaby，andsaynothing。"

"Thatmeans，"saidPrudence，"thatwhenIhavetwodaysfreeI

willcomeandspendthemwithyou。"

Weleftthehouse，andstartedonourreturntoParis，talkingoverthenewplan。IheldMargueriteinmyarms，andasIgotdownfromthecarriage，Ihadalreadybeguntolookuponherarrangementwithlesscriticaleyes。