下载辰思小说免费APP
"Thereisnotverymuchskinoff，"saidAnnie。"Youhadbetterwashit。"
Thekingmadeawryfaceandchangedtheconversation。
"Yougot’umhat，MissyAnnie？Onehatbaalbrokum，allasamewhitefellowhat。Badhat，KingBillybad;blackfellow，whitefellowlaugh。"
Hepeeredintohishat，and，tryingtostraightenitout，puthisfistthroughtheside。PoorBillylookedasifhecouldcry。
"Youstopaminute，"saidAnnie，and，flyingindoors，shebroughtoutaverygoodhighhatindeed。"Budgeree！"thoughttheking，thatwasagoodhat。Hecouldgodownthestreetslikeakingindeed，abletoholduphisheadwithanyrichmaninBallarat。Hetriediton，andthoughitwasmuchtoobig，heknewitshone。Andthegloryofahatisinitsshiningasmuchasitsshape;evenablackfellowknowsthat。
Butthathatverynearlyledtoserioustrouble。Foronething，Mr。
Colbornmissedit;andneverthinkingAnniehadgivenitaway，whenhesawthekingsittingonthefencedecoratedwithit，hestoppedandinterviewedhim。
"Wheredidyougetthathat，youoldthief？"askedthemagistrate，withoutanypolitenesstohimwhoruledthelandbeforewhitemenbrokeintothecountry。Someinauthorityarepolitetothosetheydispossess;thePrussians，forinstance，tothemiserableKingBillyswhostrutabouttheempire。ButtheAnglo-Saxononlyrespectshimself，andeventhattoalimitedextent，innewconquests。
ThequestiontroubledKingBillygreatly。HedidnotknowthatMr。
ColbornwouldassoonhavethoughtofmurderingAnnieasofbullyingher;soheliedpromptly："Mebuy’um，MistahCobon！"
Mr。Colborntookitoffofhishead，andsawthatitwashis，ashehadthought。WhathewouldhavesaidIdonotknow，forjustthenheheardavoicebehindhim：
"Papa，itismyfault;IgaveittoKingBilly。"
Colbornturnedroundandtookherup，lettingfallthehatashedidso。Billymadeajump，pickeditup，and，inhisagitation，brusheditcarefullythewrongway。
"Mydear，ifyougaveittohimit’sallright。Butwhydidn’ttheoldfooltellme？"
"He’snotanoldfool，papa，andyoumustnotsayso。He’sagoodman，andIthinkhethoughtyouwouldbeangrywithme。Didn’tyou，KingBilly？"Andtheking，withasmileofconsciousrectitude，admitteditwasso。
Mr。Colborngavehimsixpence;andhegaveAnnieagreatmanykisses，declaring，withuncommonthoughtlessness，thatwhatevershedidwasright，andthatshecouldgivethekingallhishouse，andAustraliatoboot。WhereonKingBillysmiledasmilethatwasportentous，andshowedhisteethtotheuttermostrecessesofhisamplemouth。Lookingdown，hesurveyedtherestofhisclothes，whichinpartsresembledthechild’sdefinitionofanetasalotofholestiedtogetherwithstring，and，lookingup，heinspectedMr。Colbornasifestimatingtheresourcesofhiswardrobe。Butbeingurgentlysmittenwiththenecessityofgettingridofhissixpence，heshambledoffintothetown。Othermattersmightwait;thatadmittedofnodelay。
ThemindofKingBillywasnotabigmind;itwouldnomorehavetakeninanabstractideathanhis/gunyah/wouldhaveaccommodatedagrandpiano。Hewasassimpleassunlight，andtoresolvehisintellectintosevencolourswouldwantthemostingeniousspectroscope。Buthecouldmakeaninferencefromapositivefact，and，havingmadeit，hedidnotallowmoreremotedeductionstotroublehislegitimateconclusion。
HeceasedtofearMr。Colborn，andbegantolookuponthemagistrate’spropertyasifitwereatleasthalfhisown。Sohegotverydrunkonthehospitalityofanewchumminerwhohadbeensuccessful，andpresently，presumingonhisnewpossessions，gotintoafightwithhisentertainerandadisrespectfulsubkingofhisownblacks，andwasreducedtoworseragsthanever。
Nextmorninghesatoutsidethemagistrate’shouse，onthelowestloghecouldfind，andwhenMr。Colborncameouthetackledhimwiththeairofasubjectkingdemandingredressofhissuzerain。
"Well，Billy，whatisit？"askedthesuzerain。
"Youbelonggublement？"saidBillytheking，withaquestion，animplieddoubt，andagreatcomplaintinhisvoice。Colbornlaughed。
"Why，yes，Billy;Ibelongtothegovernment，Isuppose。"
"Then，"saidBilly，"whatyousaytowhitefellowmake’umblackfellowdrunk，knock’umallabout？Callyouthatgublement？"Andheshowedhiskinglyrobe，whichhadoncebeenafrock-coat，withgreatdisgust。
However，hemetwithnofavour，andwastoldthatheshouldnotgetdrunk——thatitservedhimright;withwhichmagisterialdecisionColborngotonhishorseandrodeofftotheflat。
Thekingsatdownsadlyandconsideredthicklyinhisslowbrain。
Anniedidnotcomeout，andheknewbetterthantoaskforher，forMr。Colborn’sniece，whokepthouseforhim，wasbutnewlycomefromhome，andthoughtallblackfellowscongenitalmurderers，whichindeedtheyareinsomepartsofthenorth。SoBillysatandwaited，forhewantedanewcoat。Howcouldheberespectedinonewhosenaturaldivisionswereunnaturallyextendedtotheveryneck？Itwasobviouslynecessarytogetanewgarmentatonce，andthebestchanceofagoodonelayinlittleAnnie’skindness。Butinordertoobviatetheslightestchanceofhisgirlpatron’srefusing，hemustbringhersomeoffering。Hewentoffintothebushatthebackofthetown，and，comingtowherethreeorfourblackfellowswerecamped，hesatdownandtalkedwiththem。Inspiteoftheheat，awretchedoldgin，muffledupinheronegarment，araggedblanket，heldherhandsoverthefewburningstickswhichrepresentanAustraliannative’sideaofafire。PresentlyKingBillyrose，and，takingatomahawk，wentfartherintothebush。Helookedabout，andatlastcametoatree，whichheclimbednativefashion，firstdiscardinghisclothes。Whennearthefirstbigbrancheshecametoahole，and，puttinginhishand，heextractedalivelyyoungpossumbythetail。
NextmorninghewassittingontheColborns’fenceasusual。Athisfeetwasalittleboxwithtwoorthreeslatsnailedroughlyacrossit。Insidewasthepossum。KingBillywonderedwhatkindofacoathecouldget。Helikedafrock-coat;therewassomethingmajesticaboutit，somethingfineandample。Commonmorningcoatswouldnotdo;noonewouldinsultakingbyofferinghimtweed;evenlittleAnnieknewbetterthanthat，especiallyifhegaveheralivepossumhehadcaughthimself。AndwhenAnniedidcomeout，shewasintheseventhheavenofdelightwiththepossum，andreadytobestowanythingintheworldonKingBilly。
"YougivepoorBillyonefellowcoat，missy，andhegodownalongstreetlikeaking。"
Annieflewintothehouseandseizedthefirstgarmentshelaidherlittlehandson。Itwasherfather’sdress-coat。Sherolleditup，and，runningout，thrustitexcitedlyintotheking’sblackpaw。Ashewentoff，shecarriedthepossumindoors，andwasdeliriouslyhappyforhours。
KingBillyhurriedintothebushtillhecametoawater-hole，and，strippingoffhisrags，heheldupthecoat。Hisjawfell;therewasaremarkableexiguityaboutthecoatwhichwasinexplicable。Hehadneverobservedsuchinhislife。Heputiton，and，bendingoverthesurfaceofthestillpool，tookagoodlookatthegeneraleffect。Itwasnotbadfromsomepointsofview，butBillyhadhisdoubtsastowhetherhewouldbereceivedwiththerespectduetohistitleifhewentintoBallaratclothedthus。Hetriedtobuttonit，butdiscoveredthat，ifithadeverbeenintendedforbuttoning，hecouldnotgetittomeetacrosshischest。Hepickeduphisdiscardedfrock-coat，whichwasheldtogetherbythecollar;thenhefeltthestuffofwhichthedress-coatwasmade，andthematerialpleasedhim。"Oh，why，"askedBilly，"haditnotbeenmadewithfronttails？"Hesawatlastthatthiscoatandhishighhatalonewereinsufficientforcivilisation。
Forfulldressinacorroboreeitmightdo。Unconsciously，hewassowroughtuponbythepurposeforwhichthecoathadbeenbuiltthathedeterminedtoreserveitforpartiesintheseclusionofthebush，whereanymerrimentcouldberightlycheckedbyacrackfromhiswaddy。Heplanteditcarefullyinahollowlog，and，havinginsertedhimselfwithasmuchcareintohisdiscardedrags，hewonderedoffintothetown。Hegotveryintoxicatedthatnight，anddeterminedtohaveapartyallbyhimself。
Nowitmayseemveryannoying，andIconfessIfinditsomyself;but，havinggotsofar，Idon’tseemywaytotelltherest，evenifAnnieColborntoldmethestoryherself。Forafterherfather’sdeathshemarriedamanwhohadasmallsheep-stationandahotelnotfortymilesfromCarabobla，inNewSouthWales。IstayedthereacoupleofdayswhenIwasgoingnorthtotheMurrumbidgee。Butthoughshetoldme，Icannottellitagain，atleastnotinbold，badprint。Still，itwilloccurtomostthatamanofKingBilly’ssweetandinnocentdispositionmightverylikelycreateasensation，whenhisnaturaldiscretionwasdrownedinbadwhisky，ifheendedhissolitarycorroboreeinthemoonlightbygoinguptoColborn’shouseinordertodeliveraspeechofgratitudethroughtheFrenchwindows。
SoColbornandthekinghadacorroboreealltothemselvesintheopenspacebeforethehouse，whilethegoldcommissioner’sguestsroaredwithlaughtertofindoutwherethemissingdress-coatwas。NextdayKingBillyresumedthesplitfrock-coat。
THYHEART’SDESIRE
BY
NETTASYRETT
Thetentswerepitchedinthelittleplainsurroundedbyhills。Rightandlefttherewerestretchesoftender，vividgreenwheretheyoungcornwasspringing;fartherstill，oneitherhand，theplainwasyellowwithmustard-flower;butintheimmediateforegrounditwasbareandstony。Afewthornybushespushedtheirstragglingwaythroughthedrysoil，ineffectivelyasfarasthegraceofthelandscapewasconcerned，fortheymerelyservedtoemphasisethebarrenaridnessofthelandthatstretchedbeforethetents，slopinggraduallytothedistanthills。
Thehillswereuninterestingenoughinthemselves;theyhadnograndeurofoutline，nopicturesquenesseven，thoughatmorningandeveningthesun，likeagreatmagician，clothedthemwithbeautyatatouch。
Theyhadbeguntochange，tosoften，toblushroseredintheeveninglight，whenawomancametotheentranceofthelargestofthetentsandlookedtowardthem。Sheleanedagainstthesupportononesideofthecanvasflap，and，puttingbackherhead，restedthat，too，againstit，whilehereyeswanderedovertheplainandoverthedistanthills。
Shewasbareheaded，forthecoveringofthetentprojectedafewfeettoformanawningoverhead。Thegentlebreezewhichhadrisenwithsundownstirredthesoftbrowntendrilsofhaironhertemples，andflutteredherpinkcottongownalittle。Shestoodverystill，withherarmshangingandherhandsclaspedlooselyinfrontofher。Therewasaboutherwholeattitudeanairofstudiedquietwhichinsomevaguefashiontheslightclaspofherhandsaccentuated。Herface，withitstightly，almostrigidlyclosedlips，wouldhavebeenquiteinkeepingwiththeimpressionofconsciouscalmwhichherentirepresencesuggested，haditnotbeenthatwhensheraisedhereyesastrangecontradictiontothisideawasafforded。Theywerelargegrayeyes，unusuallybrightandratherstartlingineffect，fortheyseemedtheonlylivethingabouther。Gleamingfromherstill，setface，therewassomethingalmostalarmingintheirbrilliancy。Theysoftenedwithasuddenglowofpleasureastheyrestedonthetranslucentgreenofthewheat-fieldsunderthebroadgeneroussunlight，andthenwanderedtowherethepurevividyellowofthemustard-flowerspreadinwavestothebaseofthehills，nowmysticallyveiledinradiance。
Shestoodmotionless，watchingtheirmelting，elusivechangesfrompalpitatingrosetothetransparentpurpleofamethyst。Thestillnessofeveningwasbrokenbythemonotonous，notunmusicalcreakingofaPersianwheelatsomelittledistancetotheleftofthetent。Thewellstoodinalittlegroveoftrees;betweentheirbranchesshecouldsee，whensheturnedherhead，thecolouredsarisofthevillagewomen，wheretheystoodingroupschatteringastheydrewthewater，andthelittlenakedbrownbabiesthattoddledbesidethemorsprawledonthehardgroundbeneaththetrees。Fromthevillageofflat-roofedmudhousesunderthelowhillatthebackofthetents，otherwomenwerecrossingtheplaintowardthewell，theirterra-cottawater-jarspoisedeasilyontheirheads，castinglongshadowsonthesun-bakedgroundastheycame。
Presently，inthedistance，fromthedirectionofthesunlithillsoppositealittlegroupofmencameintosight。Faroff，themustard-
colouredjacketsandtheredturbansoftheorderliesmadevividsplashesofcolouronthedullplain。Astheycamenearer，thegunsslungacrosstheirshoulders，thecasesofmathematicalinstruments，thehammers，andotherheavybaggagetheycarriedforthesahib，becamevisible。Alittleinfront，atwalkingpacerodethesahibhimself，makingnotesashecameinabookheheldbeforehim。Thegirlatthetententrancewatchedtheadvanceofthelittlecompanyindifferently，itseemed;exceptforaslighttighteningofthemusclesabouthermouth，herfaceremainedunchanged。Whilehewasstillsomelittledistanceaway，themanwiththenotebookraisedhisheadandsmiledawkwardlyashesawherstandingthere。Awkwardness，perhaps，bestdescribesthewholeman。Hewasbadlyputtogether，loose-jointed，ungainly。Thefactthathewastallprofitedhimnothing，foritmerelyemphasisedtheextremeungracefulnessofhisfigure。Hislongpalefacewasmadepalerbytheshockofcoarse，tow-
colouredhair;hiseyes，even，lookedcolourless，thoughtheywerecertainlytheleastuninterestingfeatureofhisface，fortheywerenotdevoidofexpression。Hehadawayofslouchingwhenhemovedthatsingularlyintensifiedthegeneraluncouthnessofhisappearance。"Areyouverytired？"askedhiswife，gently，whenhehaddismountedclosetothetent。Thequestionwouldhavebeenanunnecessaryonehaditbeenputtoherinsteadoftoherhusband，forhervoicehadthatpeculiarflattonelesssoundforwhichextremewearinessisanswerable。
"Well，no，mydear，notvery，"hereplied，drawlingoutthewordswithanexasperatingairofdeliveringafinalverdict，afterdeepreflectiononthesubject。
Thegirlglancedoncemoreatthefadingcoloursonthehills。"Comeinandrest，"shesaid，movingasidealittletolethimpass。
Shestoodlingeringamomentafterhehadenteredthetent，asthoughunwillingtoleavetheouterair;andbeforesheturnedtofollowhimshedrewadeepbreath，andherhandwentforoneswiftsecondtoherthroatasthoughshefeltstifled。
Lateronthateveningshesatinhertent，sewingbythelightofthelampthatstoodonherlittletable。
Oppositetoher，herhusbandstretchedhisungainlylengthinadeck-
chair，andturnedoverapileofofficialnotes。Everynowandthenhereyeswanderedfromthegaysilksofthetable-covershewasembroideringtothecanvaswallswhichboundedthenarrowspaceintowhichtheirfewhouseholdgoodswerecrowded。Outsidetherewasadeephush。Thesilenceofthevastemptyplainseemedtoworkitswayslowly，steadilyintowardthelittlepatchoflightsetinitsmidst。
Thegirlfeltitineverynerve;itwasasthoughsomesoft-footed，noiseless，shapelesscreature，whosepresencesheonlydimlydivined，wasapproachingnearer——/nearer/。Theheavyouterstillnesswasinsomewaymademoreterrifyingbytherustleofthepapersherhusbandwasreading，bythecreakingofhischairashemoved，andbythelittlefidgetinggruntsandhalf-exclamationswhichfromtimetotimebrokefromhim。Hiswife’shandshookateveryunintelligiblemutterfromhim，andtheslighthabitualcontractionbetweenhereyesdeepened。
Allatonceshethrewherworkdownontothetable。"Forheaven’ssake——/please/，John，/talk/！"shecried。Hereyes，forthemoment’sspaceinwhichtheymetthestartledonesofherhusband，hadawild，huntedlook，butitwasgonealmostbeforehisslowbrainhadtimetonotethatithadbeenthere——andwasvaguelydisturbing。Shelaughedalittleunsteadily。
"DidIstartleyou？I’msorry。I"——shelaughedagain——"IbelieveI’malittlenervous。Whenoneisalldayalone——"Shepausedwithoutfinishingthesentence。Theman’sfacechangedsuddenly。Awaveoftendernesssweptoverit，andatthesametimeanexpressionofhalf-
incredulousdelightshoneinhispaleeyes。
"Poorlittlegirl，areyoureallylonely？"hesaid。Eventherealfeelinginhistonefailedtorobhisvoiceofitspeculiarlyirritatinggratingquality。Heroseawkwardly，andmovedtohiswife’sside。
Involuntarilysheshrankalittle，andthehandwhichhehadstretchedouttotouchherhairsanktohisside。Sherecoveredherselfimmediately，andturnedherfaceuptohis，thoughshedidnotraisehereyes;buthedidnotkissher。Instead，hestoodinanembarrassedfashionamomentbyherside，andthenwentbacktohisseat。
Therewassilenceagainforsometime。Themanlaybackinhischair，gazingathisbig，clumsyshoesasthoughhehopedforsomeinspirationfromthatquarter，whilehiswifeworkedwithnervoushaste。
"Don’tletmekeepyoufromreading，John，"shesaid，andhervoicehadregaineditsusualgentletone。
"No，mydear;I’mjustthinkingofsomethingtosaytoyou，butI
don’tseem——"
Shesmiledalittle。Inspiteofherself，herlipcurledfaintly。
"Don’tworryaboutit;itwasstupidofmetoexpectit。Imean——"sheadded，hastily，immediatelyrepentingthesarcasm。Sheglancedfurtivelyathim，buthisfacewasquiteunmoved;evidentlyhehadnotnoticedit，andshesmiledfaintlyagain。
"OKathie，Iknewtherewas/something/I’dforgottentotellyou，mydear;there’samancomingdownhere。Idon’tknowwhether——"
Shelookedupsharply。"Amancoming/here/？Whatfor？"sheinterrupted，breathlessly。
"Senttohelpmeaboutthisoil-boringbusiness，mydear。"
Hehadlightedhispipe，andwassmokingplacidly，takinglongwhiffsbetweenhiswords。
"Well？"impatientlyquestionedhiswife，fixingherbrighteyesonhisface。
"Well——that’sall，mydear。"
Shecheckedanexclamation。"Butdon’tyouknowanythingabouthim——
hisname？wherehecomesfrom？whatheislike？"Shewasleaningforwardagainstthetable，herneedle，withalongendofyellowsilkdrawnhalf-waythroughherwork，heldinherupraisedhand，herwholeattitudeoneofquiveringexcitementandexpectancy。
Themantookhispipefromhismouthdeliberately，withalookofslowwonder。
"Why，Kathie，youseemquiteanxious。Ididn’tknowyou’dbesointerested，mydear。Well，"——anotherlongpullathispipe，——"hisname’sBrook——/Brookfield/，Ithink。"Hepausedagain。"Thispipedoesn’tdrawwellabit;there’ssomethingwrongwithit，Ishouldn’twonder，"headded，takingitoutandexaminingthebowlasthoughstruckwiththebrillianceoftheidea。
Thewomanoppositeputdownherworkandclinchedherhandsunderthetable。
"Goon，John，"shesaid，presently，inatense，vibratingvoice;"hisnameisBrookfield。Well，wheredoeshecomefrom？"
"Straightfromhome，mydear，Ibelieve。"Hefumbledinhispocket，andaftersometimeextricatedapencil，withwhichhebegantopokethetobaccointhebowlinanineffectualaimlessfashion，becomingcompletelyengrossedintheoccupationapparently。Therewasanotherlongpause。Thewomanwentonworking，orfeigningtowork，forherhandsweretremblingagooddeal。
Aftersomemomentssheraisedherheadagain。"John，willyoumindattendingtomeonemoment，andansweringthesequestionsasquicklyasyoucan？"Theemphasisonthelastwordwassofaintastobealmostasimperceptibleasthetouchofexasperatedcontemptwhichshecouldnotabsolutelybanishfromhertone。
Herhusband，lookingup，metherclearbrightgaze，andreddenedlikeaschool-boy。
"Whereabouts’/fromhome/’doeshecome？"sheasked，inastudiedlygentlefashion。
"Well，fromLondon，Ithink，"hereplied，almostbrisklyforhim，thoughhestammeredandtrippedoverthewords。"He’sauniversitychap;Iusedtohearhewasclever;Idon’tknowaboutthat，I’msure;
heusedtochaffme，Iremember，but——"
"Chaff/you/？Youhavemethimthen？"
"Yes，mydear，"——hewasfastrelapsingintohisslowdrawlagain，——
"thatis，Iwenttoschoolwithhim;butit’salongtimeago。
Brookfield——yes，thatmustbehisname。"
Shewaitedamoment;then，"Whenishecoming？"sheinquired，abruptly。
"Letmesee——to-day’s——"
"/Monday/;"thewordcameswiftlybetweenhersetteeth。
"Ah，yes——Monday;well，"reflectively，"/next/Monday，mydear。"
Mrs。Draytonrose，andbegantopacesoftlythenarrowpassagebetweenthetableandthetentwall，herhandsclaspedlooselybehindher。
"Howlonghaveyouknownthis？"shesaid，stoppingabruptly。"OJohn，you/needn’t/consider;it’squiteasimplequestion。To-day？
Yesterday？
Herfootmovedrestlesslyonthegroundasshewaited。
"Ithinkitwasthedaybeforeyesterday，"hereplied。
"Thenwhy，inheaven’sname，didn’tyoutellmebefore？"shebrokeout，fiercely。
"Mydear，itslippedmymemory。IfI’dthoughtyouwouldbeinterested——"
"Interested！"Shelaughedshortly。"It/is/ratherinterestingtohearthataftersixmonthsofthis"——shemadeaquickcomprehensivegesturewithherhand——"onewillhavesomeonetospeakto——someone。ItisthehandofProvidence;itcomesjustintimetosavemefrom——"Shecheckedherselfabruptly。
Hesatstaringupatherstupidly，withoutaword。
"It’sallright，John，"shesaid，withaquickchangeoftone，gatheringupherworkquietlyasshespoke。"I’mnotmad——yet。You——
youmustgetusedtotheselittleoutbreaks，"sheadded，afteramoment，smilingfaintly;"and，todomejustice，Idon’t/often/
troubleyouwiththem，doI？I’mjustalittletired，orit’stheheator——something。No——don’ttouchme！"shecried，shrinkingback;forhehadrisenslowlyandwascomingtowardher。
Shehadlostcommandoverhervoice，andtheshrillnoteofhorrorinitwasunmistakable。Themanheardit，andshrankinhisturn。
"I’msosorry，John，"shemurmured，raisinghergreatbrighteyestohisface。Theyhadnotlosttheirgoadedexpression，thoughtheywerefulloftears。"I’mawfullysorry;butI’mjustnervousandstupid，andIcan’tbear/anyone/totouchmewhenI’mnervous。"
"Here’sBroomhurst，mydear！Imadeamistakeinhisnameafterall，I
find。Itoldyou/Brookfield/，Ibelieve，didn’tI？Well，itisn’tBrookfield，hesays;it’sBroomhurst。"
Mrs。Draytonhadwalkedsomelittledistanceacrosstheplaintomeetandwelcometheexpectedguest。Shestoodquietlywaitingwhileherhusbandstammeredoverhisincoherentsentences，andthenputoutherhand。
"Weareverygladtoseeyou，"shesaid，withaquickglanceatthenew-comer’sfaceasshespoke。
Astheywalkedtogethertowardthetent，afterthefirstgreetings，shefelthiskeeneyesuponherbeforeheturnedtoherhusband。
"I’mafraidMrs。Draytonfindstheclimatetrying？"heasked。"Perhapssheoughtnottohavecomesofarinthisheat？"
"Kathieisoftenpale。You/do/lookwhiteto-day，mydear，"heobserved，turninganxiouslytowardhiswife。
"DoI？"shereplied。Theunsteadinessofhertonewashardlyappreciable，butitwasnotlostonBroomhurst’squickears。"Oh，I
don’tthinkso。I/feel/verywell。"
"I’llcomeandseeifthey’vefixedyouupallright，"saidDrayton，followinghiscompaniontowardthenewtentthathadbeenpitchedatsomelittledistancefromthelargeone。
"Weshallseeyouatdinnerthen？"Mrs。DraytonobservedinreplytoBroomhurst’ssmileastheyparted。
Sheenteredthetentslowly，and，movinguptothetablealreadylaidfordinner，begantorearrangethethingsuponitinapurposeless，mechanicalfashion。
Afteramomentshesankdownuponaseatoppositetheopenentrance，andputherhandtoherhead。
"Whatisthematterwithme？"shethought，wearily。"AlltheweekI’vebeenlookingforwardtoseeingthisman——/any/man，/anyone/totakeofftheedgeofthis。"Sheshuddered。Eveninthoughtshehesitatedtoanalysethefeelingthatpossessedher。"Well，he’shere，andIthinkIfeel/worse/。"Hereyestravelledtowardthehillsshehadbeenusedtowatchatthishour，andrestedonthemwithavague，unseeinggaze。
"TiredKathie？Apennyforyourthoughts，mydear，"saidherhusband，cominginpresentlytofindherstillsittingthere。
"I’mthinkingwhatacuriousworldthisis，andwhatanironicalveinofhumourthegodswholookafteritmustpossess，"shereplied，withamirthlesslaugh，risingasshespoke。
Johnlookedpuzzled。
"FunnymyhavingknownBroomhurstbefore，youmean？"hesaiddoubtfully。
"IwasfishingdownatLynmouththistimelastyear，"Broomhurstsaidatdinner。"YouknowLynmouth，Mrs。Drayton？Doyouneverimagineyouhearthegurglingofthestream？Iamtantalisedalreadybythesoundofitrushingthroughthebeautifulgreengloomofthosewoods——
/aren’t/theylovely？And/I/haven’tbeeninthisburnt-upspotasmanyhoursasyou’vehadmonthsofit。"
Shesmiledalittle。
"Youmustlearntopossessyoursoulinpatience，"shesaid，andglancedinconsequentlyfromBroomhursttoherhusband，andthendroppedhereyesandwassilentamoment。
Johnwasobviously，andalittleaudibly，enjoyinghisdinner。Hesatwithhischairpushedclosetothetable，andhiselbowsawkwardlyraised，swallowinghissoupingulps。Hegraspedhisspoontightlyinhisbonyhand，sothatitsswollenjointsstoodoutlargeranduglierthanever，hiswifethought。
HereyeswanderedtoBroomhurst’shands。Theywerewellshaped，and，thoughnotsmall，therewasalookofrefinementaboutthem;hehadawayoftouchingthingsdelicately，alittlelingeringly，shenoticed。
Therewasanairofdistinctionabouthisclear-cut，clean-shavenface，possiblyintensifiedbycontrastwithDrayton’sblurredfeatures;anditwas，perhaps，alsobycontrastwiththegraycuffsthatshowedbeneathJohn’sill-cutdrabsuitthatthelinenBroomhurstworeseemedtoherparticularlyspotless。
Broomhurst’sthoughts，forhispart，wereagooddealoccupiedwithhishostess。
Shewaspretty，hethought，orperhapsitwasthat，withthewide，drylonelyplainasasetting，herfragiledelicacyofappearancewasinvestedwithacertainflower-likecharm。
"Thesilencehereseemsratherstrange，ratherappallingatfirst，whenoneisfreshfromatown，"hepursued，afteramoment’spause;
"butIsupposeyou’reusedtoit，eh，Drayton？Howdo/you/findlifehere，Mrs。Drayton？"heasked，alittlecuriously，turningtoherashespoke。
Shehesitatedasecond。"Oh，muchthesameasIshouldfinditanywhereelse，Iexpect，"shereplied;"afterall，onecarriesthepossibilitiesofahappylifeaboutwithone;don’tyouthinkso？TheGardenofEdenwouldn’tnecessarilymakemylifeanyhappier，orlesshappy，thanahowlingwildernesslikethis。Itdependsonone’sselfentirely。"
"GiventherightAdamandEve，thedesertblossomsliketherose，infact，"Broomhurstanswered，lightly，withasmilingglanceinclusiveofhusbandandwife;"youtwodon’tfeelasthoughyou’dbeendrivenoutofParadise，evidently。"
Draytonraisedhiseyesfromhisplatewithasmileoftotalincomprehension。
"Greatheavens！whatanAdamtoselect！"thoughtBroomhurst，involuntarily，asMrs。Draytonroserathersuddenlyfromthetable。
"I’llcomeandhelpwiththatpacking-case，"Johnsaid，rising，inhisturn，lumberinglyfromhisplace;"thenwecanhaveasmoke——eh！
Kathiedon’tmind，ifwesitneartheentrance。
Thetwomenwentouttogether，Broomhurstholdingthelantern，forthemoonhadnotyetrisen。Mrs。Draytonfollowedthemtothedoorway，and，pushingthelooped-uphangingfartheraside，steppedoutintothecooldarkness。
Herheartwasbeatingquickly，andtherewasagreatlumpinherthroatthatfrightenedherasthoughshewerechoking。
"AndIamhis/wife/——I/belong/tohim！"shecried，almostaloud。
Shepressedbothherhandstightlyagainstherbreast，andsetherteeth，fightingtokeepdowntherisingfloodthatthreatenedtosweepawayhercomposure。"Oh，whatafoolIam！WhatanhystericalfoolofawomanIam！"shewhisperedbelowherbreath。Shebegantowalkslowlyupanddownoutsidethetent，inthespaceilluminedbythelamplight，asthoughstrivingtomakeheroutwardlyquietmovementsreactupontheinwardtumult。Inalittlewhileshehadconquered;shequietlyenteredthetent，drewalowchairtotheentrance，andtookupabook，justasfootstepsbecameaudible。AmomentafterwardBroomhurstemergedfromthedarknessintothecircleoflightoutside，andMrs。Draytonraisedhereyesfromthepagesshewasturningtogreethimwithasmile。
"Areyourthingsallright？"
"Oh，yes，moreorless，thankyou。Iwasalittleconcernedaboutacaseofbooks，butitisn’tmuchdamagedfortunately。PerhapsI’vesomeyouwouldcaretolookat？"
"Thebookswillbeagodsend，"shereturned，withasuddenbrighteningoftheeyes;"Iwasgetting/desperate/——forbooks。"
"Whatareyoureadingnow？"heasked，glancingatthevolumethatlayinherlap。
"It’saBrowning。Icarryitaboutagooddeal。IthinkIliketohaveitwithme，butIdon’tseemtoreaditmuch。"
"Areyouwaitingforasuitableoptimisticmoment？"Broomhurstinquired，smiling。
"Yes，nowthatyoumentionit，IthinkthatmustbewhyIamwaiting，"
shereplied，slowly。
"Anditdoesn’tcome——evenintheGardenofEden？Surelytheserpent，pessimism，hasn’tbeeninsolentenoughtodrawyouintoconversationwithhim？"hesaid，lightly。
"Therehasbeennoonetoconversewithatall——whenJohnisaway，I
mean。IthinkIshouldhavelikedalittlechatwiththeserpentimmenselybywayofachange，"shereplied，inthesametone。
"Ah，yes，"Broomhurstsaid，withsuddenseriousness;"itmustbeunbearablydullforyoualonehere，withDraytonawayallday。"
Mrs。Drayton’shandshookalittleassheflutteredapageofheropenbook。
"Ishouldthinkitquitenaturalyouwouldbeirritatedbeyondendurancetohearthatall’srightwiththeworld，forinstance，whenyouweresighingforthelongdaytopass，"hecontinued。
"Idon’tmindthedaysomuch;it’stheevenings。"Sheabruptlycheckedtheswiftwords，andflushedpainfully。"Imean——I’vegrownstupidlynervous，Ithink——evenwhenJohnishere。Oh，youhavenoideaoftheawful/silence/ofthisplaceatnight，"sheadded，risinghurriedlyfromherlowseat，andmovingclosertothedoorway。"Itissoclose，isn’tit？"shesaid，almostapologetically。Therewassilenceforquiteaminute。
Broomhurst’squickeyesnotedthesilentmomentaryclinchingofthehandsthathungatherside，asshestoodleaningagainstthesupportattheentrance。
"Buthowstupidofmetogiveyousuchabadimpressionofthecamp——
thefirstevening，too！"Mrs。Draytonexclaimed，presently;andhercompanionmentallycommendedtheadmirablecomposureofhervoice。
"Probablyyouwillnevernoticethatit/is/lonelyatall，"shecontinued;"Johnlikesithere。Heisimmenselyinterestedinhiswork，youknow。Ihope/you/aretoo。Ifyouareinteresteditisallquiteright。Ithinktheclimatetriesmealittle。Ineverusedtobestupid——andnervous。Ah，here’sJohn;he’sbeenroundtothekitchentent，Isuppose。"
"Beenlookingafterthatfellowcleanin’mygun，mydear，"Johnexplained，shamblingtowardthedeck-chair。
LaterBroomhurststoodathisowntentdoor。Helookedupatthestar-
sownsky，andtheheavysilenceseemedtopressuponhimlikeanactual，physicalburden。
Hetookhiscigarfrombetweenhislipspresently，andlookedattheglowingendreflectivelybeforethrowingitaway。
"Consideringthatshehasbeenalonewithhimhereforsixmonths，shehasherselfverywellinhand——/very/wellinhand，"herepeated。
ItwasSundaymorning。JohnDraytonsatjustinsidethetent，presumablyenjoyinghispipebeforetheheatoftheday。Hiseyesfurtivelyfollowedhiswifeasshemovedaboutnearhim，sometimespassingclosetohischairinsearchofsomethingshehadmislaid。
Therewascolourinhercheeks;hereyes，thoughpreoccupied，werebright;therewasalightnessandbuoyancyinherstepwhichshesettoalittledancingairshewashummingunderherbreath。
Afteramomentortwothesongceased;shebegantomoveslowly，sedately;and，asifchilledbyarawbreathofair，thelightfadedfromhereyes，whichshepresentlyturnedtowardherhusband。
"Whydoyoulookatme？"sheasked，suddenly。
"Idon’tknow，mydear，"hebeganslowlyandlaboriously，aswashiswont。"Iwasthinkin’howniceyoulooked——jestnow——muchbetter，youknow;butsomehow，"——hewastakinglongwhiffsathispipe，asusual，betweeneachword，whileshestoodpatientlywaitingforhimtofinish，——"somehow，youalterso，mydear——you’requitepaleagain，allofaminute。"
Shestoodlisteningtohim，noticingagainstherwillthemorethansuspicionofcockneyaccentandthethickdrawlwithwhichthewordswereuttered。
Hiseyessoughtherfacepiteously。Shenoticedthattoo，andstoodbeforehimtornbyconflictingemotions，pityanddisguststrugglinginahand-to-handfightwithinher。
"Mr。BroomhurstandIaregoingdownbythewelltosit;it’scoolerthere。Won’tyoucome？"shesaidatlast，gently。
Hedidnotreplyforamoment;thenheturnedhisheadaside，sharplyforhim。
"No，mydear，thankyou;I’mcomfortableenoughhere，"hereturned，huskily。
Shestoodoverhim，hesitatingasecond;thenmovedabruptlytothetable，fromwhichshetookabook。
Hehadrisenfromhisseatbythetimesheturnedtogoout，andheinterceptedhertimorously。
"Kathie，givemeakissbeforeyougo，"hewhispered，hoarsely。"I——I
don’toftenbotheryou。"
Shedrewherbreathindeeplyasheputhisarmsclumsilyabouther;
butshestoodstill，andhekissedherontheforehead，andtouchedthelittlewavycurlsthatstrayedacrossitgentlywithhisbig，tremblingfingers。
Whenhereleasedher，shemovedatonceimpetuouslytotheopendoorway。Onthethresholdshehesitated，pausedamomentirresolutely，andthenturnedback。
"ShallI——doesyourpipewantfilling，John？"sheasked，softly。
"No，thankyou，mydear。"
"Wouldyoulikemetostay，readtoyou，oranything？"
Helookedupatherwistfully。"N-no，thankyou;I’mnotmuchofareader，youknow，mydear——somehow。"
Shehatedherselfforknowingthattherewouldbea"mydear，"
probablya"somehow，"inhisreply，anddespisedherselfforthesenseofirritatedimpatienceshefeltbyanticipation，evenbeforethewordswereuttered。
Therewasamoment’shesitatingsilence，brokenbythesoundofquick，firmfootstepswithout。Broomhurstpausedattheentrance，andlookedintothetent。
"Aren’tyoucoming，Drayton？"heasked，lookingfirstatDrayton’swifeandthenswiftlyputtinginhisnamewithascarcelyperceptiblepause。"Toolazy？Butyou，Mrs。Drayton？"
"Yes，I’mcoming，"shesaid。
Theyleftthetenttogether，andwalkedsomefewstepsinsilence。
Broomhurstshotaquickglanceathiscompanion’sface。
"Anythingwrong？"heasked，presently。
Thoughthewordswereordinaryenough，thevoiceinwhichtheywerespokenwasinsomesubtlefashionadifferentvoicefromthatinwhichhehadtalkedtohernearlytwomonthsago，thoughitwouldhaverequiredakeensenseofniceshadesinsoundtohavedetectedthechange。
Mrs。Drayton’ssenseofnicetiesinsoundwasparticularlykeen，butsheansweredquietly，"Nothing，thankyou。"
Theydidnotspeakagaintillthetreesroundthestonewellwerereached。
Broomhurstarrangedtheirseatscomfortablybesideit。
"Arewegoingtoreadortalk？"heasked，lookingupatherfromhislowerplace。
"Well，wegenerallytalkmostwhenwearrangetoread;soshallweagreetotalkto-dayforachange，bywayofgettingsomereadingdone？"sherejoined，smiling。"/You/begin。"
Broomhurstseemedinnohurrytoavailhimselfofthepermission;hewasapparentlyengrossedinwatchingtheflecksofsunshineonMrs。
Drayton’swhitedress。Thewhirringofinsects，andthecreakingofaPersianwheelsomewhereintheneighbourhood，filteredthroughthehotsilence。
Mrs。Draytonlaughedafterafewminutes;therewasatouchofembarrassmentinthesound。
"Thenewplandoesn’tanswer。Supposeyouread，asusual，andletmeinterrupt，alsoasusual，afterthefirsttwolines。"
Heopenedthebookobediently，butturnedthepagesatrandom。
Shewatchedhimforamoment，andthenbentalittleforwardtowardhim。
"Itismyturnnow，"shesaid，suddenly;"isanythingwrong？"
Heraisedhishead，andtheireyesmet。Therewasapause。"Iwillbemorehonestthanyou，"hereturned;"yes，thereis。"
"What？"
"I’vehadorderstomoveon。"
Shedrewback，andherlipswhitened，thoughshekeptthemsteady。
"Whendoyougo？"
"OnWednesday。"
Therewassilenceagain;themanstillkepthiseyesonherface。
Thewhirringoftheinsectsandthecreakingofthewheelhadsuddenlygrownsostrangelyloudandinsistentthatitwasinahalf-dazedfashionsheatlengthheardhername——"/Kathleen！/"
"Kathleen！"hewhisperedagain，hoarsely。
Shelookedhimfullintheface，andoncemoretheireyesmetinalong，gravegaze。
Theman’sfaceflushed，andhehalfrosefromhisseatwithanimpetuousmovement;butKathleenstoppedhimwithaglance。
"Willyougoandfetchmywork？Ileftitinthetent，"shesaid，speakingveryclearlyanddistinctly;"andthenwillyougoonreading？Iwillfindtheplacewhileyouaregone。"
Shetookthebookfromhishand，andheroseandstoodbeforeher。
Therewasamuteappealinhissilence，andsheraisedherheadslowly。
Herfacewaswhitetothelips，butshelookedathimunflinchingly;
andwithoutawordheturnedandlefther。
Mrs。DraytonwasrestinginthetentonTuesdayafternoon。Withthehelpofcushionsandsomelowchairs，shehadimprovisedacouch，onwhichshelayquietlywithhereyesclosed。Therewasatenseness，however，inherattitudewhichindicatedthatsleepwasfarfromher。
Herfeaturesseemedtohavesharpenedduringthelastfewdays，andtherewerehollowsinhercheeks。Shehadbeenveryillforalongtime，butallatonce，withasuddenmovement，sheturnedherheadandburiedherfaceinthecushionswithagroan。Slippingfromherplace，shefellonherkneesbesidethecouch，andputbothhandsbeforehermouthtoforcebackthecrythatshefeltstrugglingtoherlips。
Forsomemomentsthewildeffortshewasmakingforoutwardcalm，whichevenwhenshewasalonewasherfirstinstinct，strainedeverynerveandblottedoutsightandhearing，anditwasnottillthesoundwasverynearthatshewasconsciousoftheringofhorse’shoofsontheplain。
Sheraisedherheadsharply，withathrilloffear，stillkneeling，andlistened。
Therewasnomistake。Thehorsemanwasridinginhothaste，forthethudofthehoofsfollowedoneanotherswiftly。
AsMrs。Draytonlistenedherwhitefacegrewwhiter，andshebegantotremble。Puttingoutshakinghands，sheraisedherselfbythearmsofthefolding-chairandstoodupright。
Nearerandnearercamethethunderoftheapproachingsound，mingledwithstartledexclamationsandthenoiseoftramplingfeetfromthedirectionofthekitchentent。
Slowly，mechanicallyalmost，shedraggedherselftotheentrance，andstoodclingingtothecanvasthere。BythetimeshehadreacheditBroomhursthadflunghimselffromthesaddle，andhadthrownthereinstooneofthemen。
Mrs。Draytonstaredathimwithwide，brighteyesashehastenedtowardher。
"Ithoughtyou——youarenot——"shebegan，andthenherteethbegantochatter。"Iamsocold！"shesaid，inalittle，weakvoice。
Broomhursttookherhandandledheroverthethresholdbackintothetent。
"Don’tbesofrightened，"heimplored;"Icametotellyoufirst。I
thoughtitwouldn’tfrightenyousomuchas——Your——Draytonis——veryill。Theyarebringinghim。I——"
Hepaused。Shegazedathimamomentwithpartedlips;thenshebrokeintoahorrible，discordantlaugh，andstoodclingingtothebackofachair。
Broomhurststartedback。
"DoyouunderstandwhatImean？"hewhispered。"Kathleen，forGod’ssake——/don’t/——heis/dead/。"
Helookedoverhisshoulderashespoke，hershrilllaughterringinginhisears。Thewhiteglareanddazzleoftheplainstretchedbeforehim，framedbytheentrancetothetent;faroff，againstthehorizon，thereweremovingblackspecks，whichheknewtobethereturningservantswiththeirstillburden。
TheywerebringingJohnDraytonhome。
Oneafternoon，somemonthslater，BroomhurstclimbedthesteeplaneleadingtothecliffsofalittleEnglishvillagebythesea。Hehadalreadybeentotheinn，andhadbeenshownbytheproprietressthehousewhereMrs。Draytonlodged。
"Theladywasout，butthegentlemanwouldlikelyfindherifhewenttothecliffs——downbythebay，orthereabouts，"herlandladyexplained;and，obeyingherdirections，Broomhurstpresentlyemergedfromtheshadywoodlandpathontothehillsideoverhangingthesea。
Heglancedeagerlyroundhim，andthen，withasuddenquickeningoftheheart，walkedonoverthespringyheathertowhereshesat。Sheturnedwhentherustlinghisfootstepsmadethroughthebrackenwasnearenoughtoarrestherattention，andlookedupathimashecame。
Thensheroseslowlyandstoodwaitingforhim。Hecameuptoherwithoutaword，andseizedbothherhands，devouringherfacewithhiseyes。Somethinghesawthererepelledhim。Slowlyheletherhandsfall，stilllookingathersilently。"Youarenotgladtoseeme，andIhavecountedthehours，"hesaid，atlast，inadull，tonelessvoice。
Herlipsquivered。"Don’tbeangrywithme——Ican’thelpit——I’mnotgladorsorryforanythingnow，"sheanswered;andhervoicematchedhisforgrayness。
Theysatdowntogetheronalongflatstonehalfembeddedinawiryclumpofwhortleberries。Behindthemthelonelyhillsidesrose，brilliantwithyellowbrackenandthepurpleofheather。Beforethemstretchedthewidesea。Itwasasoft，grayday。Streaksofpalesunlighttrembledatmomentsfaroutonthewater。Thetidewasrisinginthelittlebayabovewhichtheysat，andBroomhurstwatchedthelazyfoam-edgedwavesslippingovertheuncoveredrockstowardtheshore，thenslidingbackasthoughforverywearinesstheydespairedofreachingit。Themuffled，pulsingsoundoftheseafilledthesilence。BroomhurstthoughtsuddenlyofhotEasternsunshine，ofthewhirofinsectwingsonthestillair，andthecreakingofawheelinthedistance。Heturnedandlookedathiscompanion。
"Ihavecomethousandsofmilestoseeyou，"hesaid;"aren’tyougoingtospeaktomenowIamhere？"
"Whydidyoucome？Itoldyounottocome，"sheanswered，falteringly。
"I——"shepaused。
"AndIrepliedthatIshouldfollowyou——ifyouremember，"heanswered，stillquietly。"IcamebecauseIwouldnotlistentowhatyousaidthen，atthatawfultime。Youdidn’tknow/yourself/whatyousaid。Nowonder！Ihavegivenyousomemonths，andnowIhavecome。"
Therewassilencebetweenthem。Broomhurstsawthatshewascrying;
hertearsfellfastontoherhands，thatwereclaspedinherlap。Herface，henoticed，wasthinanddrawn。
Verygentlyheputhisarmroundhershoulderanddrewhernearertohim。Shemadenoresistance;itseemedthatshedidnotnoticethemovement;andhisarmdroppedathisside。
"YouaskedmewhyIhadcome。Youthinkitpossiblethatthreemonthscanchangeoneverythoroughly，then？"hesaid，inacoldvoice。
"Inotonlythinkitpossible;Ihaveprovedit，"shereplied，wearily。
Heturnedroundandfacedher。
"You/did/loveme，Kathleen！"heasserted。"Youneversaidsoinwords，butIknowit，"headded，fiercely。
"Yes，Idid。"
"And——youmeanthatyoudon’tnow？"
Hervoicewasverytired。"Yes;Ican’thelpit，"sheanswered;"ithasgone——utterly。"
Thegrayseaslowlylappedtherocks。Overheadthesharpscreamofagullcutthroughthestillness。Itwasbrokenagain，amomentafterward，byashorthardlaughfromtheman。
"Don’t！"shewhispered，andlaidahandswiftlyonhisarm。"Doyouthinkitisn’tworseforme？IwishtoGodI/did/loveyou！"shecried，passionately。"Perhapsitwouldmakemeforgetthat，toallintentsandpurposes，Iamamurderess。
Broomhurstmetherwide，despairingeyeswithanamazementwhichyieldedtosuddenpityingcomprehension。
"Sothatisit，mydarling？Youareworryingabout/that/？Youwhowereasloyalas——"
Shestoppedhimwithafranticgesture。
"Don’t！/don’t！/"shewailed。"Ifyouonlyknew！Letmetrytotellyou——willyou？"sheurged，pitifully。"ItmaybebetterifItellsomeone——ifIdon’tkeepitalltomyself，andthink，and/think/。"
Sheclaspedherhandstight，withtheoldgestureherememberedwhenshewasstrugglingforself-control，andwaitedamoment。
Presentlyshebegantospeakinalow，hurriedtone："Itbeganbeforeyoucame。IknownowwhatthefeelingwasthatIwasafraidtoacknowledgetomyself。Iusedtotryandsmotherit;Iusedtorepeatthingstomyselfallday——poems，stupidrhymes——/anything/tokeepmythoughtsquiteunderneath——butI——/hated/Johnbeforeyoucame！Wehadbeenmarriednearlyayearthen。Ineverlovedhim。Ofcourseyouaregoingtosay，’Whydidyoumarryhim？’"Shelookeddrearilyovertheplacidsea。"Why/did/Imarryhim？Idon’tknow;forthereasonthathundredsofignorant，inexperiencedgirlsmarry，Isuppose。Myhomewasn’tahappyone。Iwasmiserable，andoh——/restless/。Iwonderifmenknowwhatitfeelsliketoberestless？SometimesIthinktheycan’tevenguess。Johnwantedmeverybadly;nobodywantedmeathomeparticularly。Theredidn’tseemtobeanypointinmylife。Doyouunderstand？……Ofcourse，beingalonewithhiminthatlittlecampinthatsilentplain"——sheshuddered——"madethingsworse。Mynerveswentalltopieces。Everythinghesaid，hisvoice，hisaccent，hiswalk，thewayheate，irritatedmesothatIlongedtorushoutsometimesandshriek——andgo/mad/。Doesitsoundridiculoustoyoutobedrivenmadbysuchtrifles？IonlyknowIusedtogetupfromthetablesometimesandwalkupanddownoutside，withbothhandsovermymouthtokeepmyselfquiet。AndallthetimeI/hated/myself——howI
hatedmyself！Ineverhadawordfromhimthatwasn’tgentleandtender。IbelievehelovedthegroundIwalkedon。Oh，itis/awful/
tobelovedlikethatwhenyou——"Shedrewinherbreathwithasob。
"I——I——itmademesickforhimtocomenearme——totouchme。"Shestoppedamoment。
Broomhurstgentlylaidhishandonherquiveringone。"Poorlittlegirl！"hemurmured。
"Then/you/came，"shesaid，"andbeforelongIhadanotherfeelingtofightagainst。AtfirstIthoughtitcouldn’tbetruethatIlovedyou——itwoulddiedown。IthinkIwas/frightened/atthefeeling;I
didn’tknowithurtsotoloveanyone。"
Broomhurststirredalittle。"Goon，"hesaid，tersely。
"Butitdidn’tdie，"shecontinued，inatremblingwhisper，"andtheother/awful/feelinggrewstrongerandstronger——hatred;no，thatisnottheword——/loathing/for——for——John。Ifoughtagainstit。Yes，"
shecried，feverishly，claspingandunclaspingherhands;"HeavenknowsIfoughtitwithallmystrength，andreasonedwithmyself，and——oh，Idid/everything/，but——"Herquick-fallingtearsmadespeechdifficult。
"Kathleen！"Broomhursturged，desperately，"youcouldn’thelpit，youpoorchild。Yousayyourselfyoustruggledagainstyourfeelings。Youwerealwaysgentle;perhapshedidn’tknow。"
"Buthedid——he/did/，"shewailed;"itisjustthat。Ihurthimahundredtimesaday;heneversaidso，butIknewit;andyetI
/couldn’t/bekindtohim，——exceptinwords，——andheunderstood。Andafteryoucameitwasworseinoneway，forheknew——I/felt/heknew——thatIlovedyou。Hiseyesusedtofollowmelikeadog’s，andIwasstabbedwithremorse，andItriedtobegoodtohim，butIcouldn’t。"
"But——hedidn’tsuspect——hetrustedyou，"beganBroomhurst。"Hehadeveryreason。Nowomanwaseversoloyal，so——"
"Hush！"shealmostscreamed。"Loyal！itwastheleastIcoulddo——tostopyou，Imean——whenyou——Afterall，Iknewitwithoutyourtellingme。Ihaddeliberatelymarriedhimwithoutlovinghim。Itwasmyownfault。Ifeltit。EvenifIcouldn’tpreventhisknowingthatIhatedhim，Icouldprevent/that/。Itwasmypunishment。Ideserveditfor/daring/tomarrywithoutlove。ButIdidn’tspareJohnonepangafterall，"sheadded，bitterly。"HeknewwhatIfelttowardhim;Idon’tthinkhecaredaboutanythingelse。YousayImustn’treproachmyself？
WhenIwentbacktothetentthatmorning——whenyou——whenIstoppedyoufromsayingyoulovedme，hewassittingatthetablewithhisheadburiedinhishands;hewascrying——bitterly。Isawhim，——itisterribletoseeamancry，——andIstoleawaygently，buthesawme。I
wastorntopieces，butI/couldn’t/gotohim。Iknewhewouldkissme，andIshudderedtothinkofit。Itseemedmorethanevernottobebornethatheshoulddothat——whenIknew/you/lovedme。"
"Kathleen，"criedherlover，again，"don’tdwellonitallsoterribly——don’t——"
"HowcanIforget？"sheanswered，despairingly。"Andthen，"——sheloweredhervoice，——"oh，Ican’ttellyou——allthetime，atthebackofmymindsomewhere，therewasaburningwishthathemight/die/。I
usedtolieawakeatnight，and，dowhatIwouldtostifleit，thatthoughtusedto/scorch/me，Iwisheditsointensely。Doyoubelievethatbywillingonecanbringsuchthingstopass？"sheasked，lookingatBroomhurstwithfeverishlybrighteyes。"No？Well，Idon’tknow。I
triedtosmotherit，——I/really/tried，——butitwasthere，whateverotherthoughtsIheapedonthetop。Then，whenIheardthehorsegallopingacrosstheplainthatmorning，Ihadasickfearthatitwas/you/。Iknewsomethinghadhappened，andmyfirstthoughtwhenIsawyoualiveandwell，andknewitwas/John/，was/thatitwastoogoodtobetrue/。IbelieveIlaughedlikeamaniac，didn’tI？……Nottoblame？Why，ifithadn’tbeenformehewouldn’thavedied。Themensaytheysawhimsittingwithhisheaduncoveredintheburningsun，hisfaceburiedinhishands——justasIhadseenhimthedaybefore。
Hedidn’ttroubletobecareful;hewastoowretched。"
Shepaused，andBroomhurstroseandbegantopacethelittlehillsidepathattheedgeofwhichtheywereseated。
Presentlyhecamebacktoher。
"Kathleen，letmetakecareofyou，"heimplored，stoopingtowardher。
"Wehaveonlyourselvestoconsiderinthismatter。Willyoucometomeatonce？"
Sheshookherheadsadly。
Broomhurstsethisteeth，andthelinesroundhismouthdeepened。Hethrewhimselfdownbesideherontheheather。
"Dear，"heurged，stillgently，thoughhisvoiceshowedhewascontrollinghimselfwithaneffort，"youaremorbidaboutthis。Youhavebeenalonetoomuch;youareill。Letmetakecareofyou;I
/can/，Kathleen，——andIloveyou。Nothingbutmorbidfancymakesyouimagineyouareinanywayresponsiblefor——Drayton’sdeath。Youcan’tbringhimbacktolife，and——"
"No，"shesighed，drearily，"andifIcould，nothingwouldbealtered。
ThoughIammadwithself-reproach，Ifeel/that/——itwasallsoinevitable。Ifhewerealiveandwellbeforemethisinstant，myfeelingtowardhimwouldn’thavechanged。Ifhespoketomehewouldsay’mydear’——andIshould/loathe/him。Oh，Iknow！Itis/that/
thatmakesitsoawful。"
"Butifyouacknowledgeit，"Broomhurststruckin，eagerly，"willyouwreckbothofourlivesforthesakeofvainregrets？Kathleen，youneverwill。"
Hewaitedbreathlesslyforheranswer。
"Iwon’twreckbothourlivesbymarryingagainwithoutloveonmyside，"shereplied，firmly。
"Iwilltaketherisk，"hesaid。"You/have/lovedme;youwilllovemeagain。Youarecrushedanddazednowwithbroodingoverthis——thistrouble，but——"
"ButIwillnotallowyoutotaketherisk，"Kathleenanswered。"WhatsortofwomanshouldIbetobewillingagaintolivewithamanI
don’tlove？Ihavecometoknowthattherearethingsoneowesto/one’sself/。Self-respectisoneofthem。Idon’tknowhowithascometobeso，butallmyoldfeelingforyouhas/gone/。Itisasthoughithadburneditselfout。Iwillnotoffergrayashestoanyman。"
Broomhurst，lookingupatherpale，setface，knewthatherwordswerefinal，andturnedhisownasidewithagroan。
"Ah，"criedKathleen，withalittlebreakinhervoice，"/don’t！/Goaway，andbehappyandstrong，andallthatIlovedinyou。Iamsosorry——sosorrytohurtyou。I——"hervoicefalteredmiserably;"I——I
onlybringtroubletopeople。"
Therewasalongpause。
"Didyouneverthinkthatthereisaterribleveinofironyrunningthroughtheorderingofthisworld？"shesaid，presently。"Itisamistaketothinkourprayersarenotanswered——theyare。Induetimewegetourheart’sdesire——whenwehaveceasedtocareforit。"
"Ihaven’tyetgotmine，"Broomhurstanswered，doggedly，"andIshallneverceasetocareforit。"
Shesmiledalittle，withinfinitesadness。
"Listen，Kathleen，"hesaid。Theyhadbothrisen，andhestoodbeforeher，lookingdownather。"Iwillgonow，butinayear’stimeIshallcomeback。Iwillnotgiveyouup。Youshalllovemeyet。"
"Perhaps——Idon’tthinkso，"sheanswered，wearily。
Broomhurstlookedathertremblinglipsamomentinsilence;thenhestoopedandkissedbothherhandsinstead。
"Iwillwaittillyoutellmeyouloveme，"hesaid。
Shestoodwatchinghimoutofsight。Hedidnotlookback，andsheturnedwithswimmingeyestothegrayseaandthetransientgleamsofsunlightthatsweptliketendersmilesacrossitsface。
