第2章

To-morrowyou\'llbebackamongyourtree-toadsandsunsets。And，letushope，"hesighed，"noonewilltrytostopyou！"

"Whatworriesmeisthis，"explainedHerrick。"Ican\'thelpthinkingthat，ifonenightofthisartificiallifeissoharduponme，whatmustitbetothosebears！"

Kellyexclaimed，withexasperation:"Confoundthebears！"hecried。

"Ifyoumustspoilmysupperweepingoveranimals，weepovercart-horses。Theywork。Thosebearsareloafers。They\'reaswellfedaspetcanaries。They\'rearistocrats。"

"Butit\'snotafreelife！"protestedHerrick。"It\'snotthelifetheylove。"

"It\'sadarnedsightbetter，"declaredKelly，thansleepinginadampwood，eatingrawblackberries——"

"Themoreyousay，"retortedHerrick，"themoreyoushowyouknownothingwhatsoeverofnature\'schildrenandtheirhabits。"

"Andallyouknowofthem，"returnedKelly，isthatacathasninelives，andabarkingdogwon\'tbite。You\'reanaturefaker。"

Herrickrefusedtobediverted。

"Ithurtme，"hesaid。"Theyweresobig，andgood-natured，andhelpless。I\'llbetthatwomanbeatsthem！Ikeptthinkingofthemastheywereinthewoods，trampingoverthecleanpineneedles，eatingnuts，and——andhoney，and——"

"Buns！"suggestedJackson。

"Ican\'tforgetthem，"saidHerrick。"It\'sgoingtohauntme，to-morrow，whenI\'mbackinthewoods；I\'llthinkofthosepoorbeastscaperinginahottheatre，whentheyoughttobeoutintheopenasGodmeantthey——"

"Well，then，"protestedKelly，"take\'emtotheopen。Andturn\'emloose！AndIhopetheybiteYOU！"

AtthisHerrickfrownedsodeeplythatKellyfearedhehadgonetoofar。Inwardly，hereprovedhimselffornotrememberingthathisfriendlackedasenseofhumor。ButHerrickundeceivedhim。

"Youareright！"heexclaimed。"To-morrowIwillbuythosebears，takethemtothefarm，andturnthemloose！"

Noobjectionshisfriendcouldoffercoulddiverthimfromhispurpose。Whentheyurgedthattospendsomuchmoneyinsuchamannerwascriminallywasteful，hepointedoutthathewassufficientlyrichtoindulgeanyextravagantfancy，whetherinpoloponiesorbears；whentheywarnedhimthatifhedidnotlookoutthebearswouldcatchhimaloneinthewoods，andeathim，heretortedthatthebearswerenoweducatedtoadifferentdiet；

whentheysaidheshouldconsiderthepeaceofmindofhisneighbors，heassuredthemthefencearoundhisgamepreservewouldrestrainanelephant。

"Besides，"protestedKelly，"whatyouproposetodoisnotonlyimpracticable，butit\'scrueltytoanimals。Adomesticatedanimalcan\'treturntoastateofnature，andlive。"

"Can\'tit？"jeeredHerrick。"Didyoueverread\'TheCalloftheWild\'？"

"Didyoueverread，"retortedKelly，"whathappenedatthesiegeofLadysmithwhentheoatsranlowandtheydrovetheartilleryhorsesouttograss？Theystarved，that\'sall。Andifyoudon\'tfeedyourbearsonmilkoutofabottlethey\'llstarvetoo。"

"That\'swhatwillhappen，"criedJackson；thosebearshaveforgottenwhatapineforestsmellslike。Maybeit\'sapity，butit\'sthefact。I\'llbetifyoucouldaskthemwhetherthey\'drathersleepinacaveonyourfarmorbeheadlinersinvaudeville，they\'dtellyoutheywere\'devotedtotheirart。\'"

"Why！"exclaimedKelly，"they\'resofarfromnaturethatiftheydidn\'thavethatcoloredboytocombandbrushthemtwiceadaythey\'dbeashamedtolookeachotherintheeyes。"

"Andanotherthing，"continuedJackson，"trainedanimalsloveto\'showoff。\'They\'rechildren。ThosebearsENJOYdoingthosetricks。

TheyENJOYtheapplause。Theyenjoydancingtothe\'MerryWidowWaltz。\'Andifyoulockthemupinyourjungle，they\'llgetsohomesickthatthey\'llgiveaperformancetwiceadaytothesquirrelsandwoodpeckers。"

"It\'sjustashardtounlearnathingastolearnit，"saidKellysententiously。"Youcan\'tmakeamanwhohaslearnedtowearshoesenjoygoingaroundinhisbarefeet。"

"Rot！"criedHerrick。"Lookatme。Didn\'tIloveNewYork？I

loveditsoIneverwenttobedforfearI\'dmisssomething。ButwhenI

went\'BacktotheLand，\'didittakemelongtofallinlovewiththeforestsandthegreenfields？Ittookmeaweek。IgotobednowthesamedayIgetup，andI\'vepassedonmyhighhatandfrockcoattoascarecrow。AndI\'llbetyouwhenthosebearsoncescentthewildwoodsthey\'llstampedeforthemlikeCrokergoingtoathirdalarm。"

"AndIrepeat，"criedKelly，"youareanaturefaker。AndI\'llleaveittothebearstoproveit。"

"Wehavedoneourbest，"sighedJackson。"Wehavetriedtosavehimmoneyandtrouble。Andnowallhecandoforusinreturnistogiveusseatsfortheopeningperformance。"

WhatthebearscostHerrickhenevertold。Butitwasaverylargesum。AstheCountessZichypointedout，bearsasbears，inastateofnature，arecheap。Ifitwerejustabearhewanted，hehimselfcouldgotoPikeCounty，Pennsylvania，andtrapone。Whathewaspayingfor，sheexplained，wasthetimeshehadspentineducatingtheBrunofamily，andaddedtothatthetimeduringwhichshemustnowremainidlewhilesheeducatedanotherfamily。

Herrickknewforwhathewaspaying。Itwasthepleasureofrescuingunwillingslavesfrombondage。Astotheirexpensiveeducation，iftheyreturnedtoastateofignoranceasrapidlyasdidmostcollegegraduatesheknew，hewouldbesatisfied。Twodayslater，whenherengagementatthemusichallclosed，MadameZichyreluctantlyturnedoverherpetstotheirnewmanager。WithIkeyshewasespeciallyloathtopart。

"I\'llnevergetonelikehim，"shewalledIkeyisthefunniestfour-leggedclowninAmerica。He\'sanatural-borncomedian。FolksthinkIlearnhimthosetricks，butit\'sallhisownstuff。OnlylastweekwewasplayingPaoli\'sinBridgeport，andwhenIwasputtingBrunothroughthehoops，Ikeyrunstothestage-boxandgrabsapoundofcaramelsoutofagirl\'slap-andswallowsthebox。

AndinSt。Paul，ifthetrombonehadn\'twornawig，Ikeywouldhavescalpedhim。Say，itwasascream！Whentheaudienceseethetrombonesnatchedbald-headed，andhimtryingtogetbackhiswig，andIkeychewingit，theywentcrazy。Youcan\'tlearnabeartrickslikethat。It\'sjustgenius。SomefolksthinkItaughthimtoactlikehewasintoxicated，buthepickedthatup，too，allbyhimself，throughwatchingmyhusband。AndIkey\'sveryfondofbeeronhisownaccount。IfIdon\'tstopthem，thestagehandswouldbealwaysslippinghimdrinks。Ihopeyouwon\'tgivehimnone。"

"Iwillnot！"saidHerrick。