Mother

第3章

Iknowthatyouaresincereinthinkingso。AndtheringingwelkinisallweshouldhaveheardinMichigan。Butthemoretrulyamanlovesagirl,thelesscanhebeartakingherfromaneasytoahardlife。Iamsurethatallthemenhereagreewithme。"

Therewasamurmurandanodfromthemen,andalsofromMrs。Davenport。

ButtheotherladiesgavenosignofassentingtoRichard\'sproposition。

"Inthosedays,"saidhe,"Iwaswhatinthecurtparlanceofthestreetistermedasix-hundred-dollarclerk。Andthoughmyearshadgrownaccustomedtothisappellation,Inevercametofeelthatitcompletelydescribedme。InpassingTiffany\'swindowtwiceeachday(formyhabitwastowalktoandfromNassauStreet)Irememberthatseeingathousand-dollarclockexposedforsalecausedmeannoyance。Ofcoursemysalaryasaclerkbroughtmeintonounfavourablecomparisonwiththeclock;andIdoubtifIcouldmakeyouunderstandmysometimesfeelingwhenIpassedTiffany\'swindowthatIshouldliketosmashtheclock。"

"ImetEthelfrequentlyinsociety,dancingwithher,andsittingnextheratdinners。AndbythetimeIhaddinedatherownhouse,andwalkedseveralafternoonswithher,mylotasasix-hundred-dollarclerkbegantoseemverysadtome。Iwroteversesaboutit,andaboutothersubjectsalso。FromaneveningpassedwithEthel,Iwouldgonextmorningtotheofficeandlookattheotherclerks。Oneofthemwasfifty-five,andhestillreceivedsixhundreddollarshiswagesforthelastthirtyyears。I

wasthentwenty-one;andthoughIneverdespairedtotheextentofbelievingthatyearswouldfailtoincreasemyvaluetothefirmbyasinglecent,still,forwhatcouldIhope?Ifmysalarywerethereandthentobedoubled,whatkindofsupportwastwelvehundreddollarstoofferEthel,withherdresses,andherdinners,andherfather\'scarriage?FortwoyearsIwaswretchedlyunhappybeneaththemanyhoursofgaietythatcametome,astoeveryyoungman。"

"ThosetwoyearswecouldhavebeeninMichigan,"saidEthel,"hadyouunderstood。"

"Iknow。Butunderstanding,IbelievethatIshoulddothesameagain。Attheoffice,whennotbusy,Iwrotemorepoetry,andbeganalsotowriteprose,whichIfoundattheoutsetlesseasy。Whenmyfirstwritingswereaccepted(theywerefoursetsofversesupontheSummerResort)IfeltthatIcouldsoonaddressEthel;forIhadmadetendollarsoutsidemysalary。HadshenotbeeninEuropethatJuly,IbelievethatIshouldhavespokentoheratonce。ButIsentherthepaper;andIhavetheletterthatshewroteinreply。"

"I"beganEthel。Butshestopped。

"Yes,Iknownowthatyoukepttheverses,"saidRichard。"Mynextmanuscript,however,wasrejected。Indeed,IwentonofferingmyliteraryproductionsnearlyeveryweekuntilthefollowingJanuarybeforeasecondacceptancecame。Itwastwentyfivedollarsthistime,andalmostmademefeelagainthatIcouldhandsomelysupportEthel。Butnotquite。Afterthefirstcharmingelationatearningmoneywithmypen,thoseweeksofrefusalhadcausedmetothinkmoresoberly。AndthoughIwasnowbentuponbecominganauthorandleavingNassauStreet,Iburnednobridgesbehindme,butmerelyfilledmysparehourswithwritingandwithshowingittoEthel。"

"Itwasnowthatthesecondareaofperturbationofmylifecametome。I

saythesecond,becausethefirsthadbeentherecentdawningbeliefthatEthelthoughtaboutmewhenIwasnottheretoremindherofmyself。Thisideahadstirredbutyouwillunderstand。Andnow,whatwasmyproper,myhonourablecourse?ItwasapositivereliefthatatthiscrisisshewenttoFlorida。Icouldthinkmorequietly。Mywritinghadcometobequiteoftenaccepted,sometimesevensolicited。ShouldIspeaktoher,andaskhertowaituntilIcouldputadecentroofoverherhead,orshouldIkeepawayfromheruntilIcouldoffersucharoof?Herfather,Isupposed,coulddosomethingforus。ButIwasnotwillingtobeapensioner。Hisbusinesswerehegenerouswouldbetoprovidecakeandbutter;butthebreadwastobemineandbreadwasstillalongwayoff,accordingtoNewYorkstandards。ThesethingsIthoughtoverwhileshewasinFlorida;yetwhenonceIshouldIfindmyselfwithheragain,I

begantofearthatIcouldnotholdmyselffrombutthesearecircumstanceswhichuniversalknowledgerendersitneedlesstomention,andIwillpasstothesecondperturbation。"

"Asumofmoneywassuddenlyleftme。ThenforthefirsttimeIunderstoodwhyIhadduringmyboyhoodbeensoperiodicallysenttoseeacrossoldbrotherofmymother\'s,wholivednearColdSpringontheHudson,andwhomwecalledUncleSnaggletoothwhennoonecouldhearus。UncleGodfrey(forIhavecalledhimbyhisrightnameeversince)diedandleftmewhatinthoseolddayssixyearsagowasstillalargeamount。To-dayweunderstandwhattruerichesmean。Butinthosebygonetimessixyearsago,amilliondollarswasasumconsiderableenoughtobestillseen,asitwere,withthenakedeye。ThatwasmybequestfromUncleGodfrey,andIfeltmyselftobethepossessorofafortune。"

AtthispointinRichard\'snarrative,asighescapedfromEthel。

"Iknow,"heimmediatelysaid,"thatmoneyisalwayswelcome。Butitiscertainlysomeconsolationtoreflecthowslightalossamilliondollarsiscountedto-dayinNewYork。AndIdidnotloseallofit。"

"ImetEthelatthetrainonherreturnfromFlorida,andcrossedwithherontheferryfromJerseyCitytoDesbrossesStreet。ThereIwasobligedtoseeherdriveawayinthecarriagewithherfather。"

"Mr。Field,"saidMrs。Davenport,"whathourdidthattrainarriveatJerseyCity?"

Richardlookedsurprised。"Why,seven-fifteenP。M。,"hereplied。"ThetenthofMarch。"

"Dark!"Mrs。Davenportexclaimed。"Mr。Field,youandEthelwereengagedbeforetheferryboatlandedatDesbrossesStreet。"

RichardandEthelbothsatstraightup,butremainedspeechless。

"Pardonmyinterruption,"saidMrs。Davenport,smiling。"Ididn\'twanttomissasinglepointinthisstorydogoon!"

Richardwasobligedtoburstoutlaughing,inwhichEthel,afteramoment,followedhim,thoughperhapslessheartily。Andashecontinued,hisblushsubsided。

"WithmyUncleGodfrey\'slegacyIwasnolongerdependentuponmysalary,ormypen,ormyfather\'spurse;andIdecidedthatwiththemoneyproperlyinvested,Icouldmaintainamodestestablishmentofmyown。

Ethelagreedwithmeentirely;and,afteralittle,wedisclosedourplanstoourfamilies,andtheymetwithapproval。ThiswasinApril,andwethoughtofOctoberorNovemberforthewedding。Itseemedlongtowait;butitcamenearbeingsomuchlonger,thatIgrowchillynowtothinkofit。"

"Ofcourse,IwentsteadilyonwithmyworkattheofficeinNassauStreet,nordidIneglectmywritingentirely。Myattention,however,wasnowturnedtothequestionofinvestingmyfortune。JustroundthecornerfromourofficewasthefirmofBlakeandBeverly,StocksandBonds。

Thithermystepsbeganfrequentlytoturn。Mr。Beverlyhadbusinesswhichbroughthimeveryweektotheroomofourpresident;andsohavingasortofacquaintancewithhim,Ifeltiteasiertoconsulthimthantoseekanyotheramongthebrokers,towhichclassIwasawellnightotalstranger。Heverykindlyconsentedtobemyadviser。IwaswellpleasedtofindhowmuchIhadunderratedtheinterest-bearingcapacityofmywindfall。\'Fourpercent!\'hecried,whenItoldhimthiswastheextentofmyexpectations。\'Why,you\'retalkinglikeatrustee。\'Andthenseeingthathismeaningwasbeyondme,heexplainedinhisbluff,humorousmanner。\'Allatrusteecaresforyouknow,ishisreputationforsafety。

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