第8章

said:\'WecannotgotothatSheshaheliplacewithoutahundredrifles。Wehaveherefive。\'TheHajjisaid:\'Ihaveuntiedasknotinmyhead-handkerchiefwhichwillbemoretousthanathousand。\'Isawthathehadsolooseditthatitlayflagwiseonhisshoulder。ThenIknewthathewasaGreatOnewithvirtueinhim。

"WecametothehighlandsoftheSheshahelionthedawnofthesecondday——aboutthetimeofthestirringofthecoldwind。TheHajjiwalkeddelicatelyacrosstheopenplacewheretheirfilthis，andscratcheduponthegatewhichwasshut。WhenitopenedI

sawtheman-eaterslyingontheircotsundertheeavesofthehuts。Theyrolledoff:theyroseup，onebehindtheotherthelengthofthestreet，andthefearontheirfaceswasasleaveswhiteningtoabreeze。TheHajjistoodinthegateguardinghisskirtsfromdefilement。TheHajjisaid:\'Iamhereonceagain。

Givemesixandyokeup。\'Theyzealouslythenpushedtouswithpolessix，andyokedthemwithaheavytree。TheHajjithensaid:

"Fetchfirefromthemorninghearth，andcometowindward。\'Thewindisstrongonthoseheadlandsatsunrise，sowheneachhademptiedhiscrockoffireinfrontofthatwhichwasbeforehim，thebroadsideofthetownroaredintoflame，andallwent。TheHajjithensaid:\'Attheendofatimetherewillcomeherethewhitemanyeoncechasedforsport。Hewilldemandlabourtoplantsuchandsuchstuff。Yearethatlabour，andyourspawnafteryou。\'Theysaid，liftingtheirheadsaverylittlefromtheedgeoftheashes:\'Wearethatlabour，andourspawnafterus。\'

TheHajjisaid:\'Whatisalsomyname？\'Theysaid:\'ThynameisalsoTheMerciful\'TheHajjisaid:\'Praisethenmymercy\'；andwhiletheydidthis，theHajjiwalkedaway，Ifollowing。"

TheInfantmadesomenoiseinhisthroat，andreachedformoreBurgundy。

"Aboutnoononeofoursixfelldead。FrightonlyfrightsSahib!

Nonehad——nonecould——touchhim。Sincetheywereinpairs，andtheotheroftheForkwasmadandsangfoolishly，wewaitedforsomeheathentodowhatwasneedful。TherecameatlastAngarimenwithgoats。TheHajjisaid:\'Whatdoyesee？Theysaid:\'Oh，ourLord，weneitherseenorhear。\'TheHajjisaid:\'ButI

commandyetoseeandtohearandtosay。\'Theysaid:\'Oh，ourLord，itistoourcommandedeyesasthoughslavesstoodinaFork。\'TheHajjisaid:\'SotestifybeforetheofficerwhowaitsyouinthetownofDupe。\'Theysaid:\'Whatshallcometousafter？\'TheHajjisaid:\'Thejustrewardfortheinformer。Butifyedonottestify，thenapunishmentwhichshallcausebirds，tofallfromthetreesinterrorandmonkeystoscreamforpity。\'

Hearingthis，theAngarimenhastenedtoDupe。TheHajjithensaidtome:\'Arethosethingssufficienttoestablishourcase，ormustIdriveinavillagefull？\'Isaidthatthreewitnessesamplyestablishedanycase，butasyet，Isaid，theHajjihadnotofferedhisslavesforsale。Itistrue，asourSahibsaidjustnow，thereisonefineforcatchingslaves，andyetanotherformakingtosellthem。Anditwasthedoublefinethatweneeded，Sahib，forourSahib\'scotton-play。Wehadfore-arrangedallthiswithBulakiRam，whoknowstheEnglishLaw，and，IthoughttheHajjiremembered，buthegrewangry，andcriedout:\'OGod，RefugeoftheAfflicted，mustI，whoamwhatIam，peddlethis\'

dog\'smeatbytheroadsidetogainhisdelightformyheart\'sdelight？"Nonetheless，headmitteditwastheEnglishLaw，andsoheofferedmethesix——five——inasmallvoice，withanavertedhead。TheSheshahelidonotsmellofsourmilkasheathenshould。

Theysmelllikeleopards，Sahib。Thisisbecausetheyeatmen。"

"Maybe，"saidStrickland。"Butwherewerethywits？Onewitnessisnotsufficienttoestablishthefactofasale。"

"Whatcouldwedo，Sahib？TherewastheHajji\'sreputationtoconsider。Wecouldnothavecalledinaheathenwitnessforsuchathing。And，moreover，theSahibforgetsthatthedefendanthimselfwasmakingthiscase。Hewouldnotcontesthisownevidence。Otherwise，Iknowthelawofevidencewellenough。

"SothenwewenttoDupe，andwhileBulakiRamwaitedamongtheAngarimen，\'IrantoseeourSahibinbed。Hiseyeswereverybright，andhismouthwasfullofupside-downorders，buttheoldwomanhadnotloosenedherhairfordeath。TheHajjisaid:\'Bequickwithmytrial。IamnotJob!\'TheHajjiwasalearnedman。

Wemadethetrialswiftlytoasoundofsoothingvoicesroundthebed。Yet——yet，becausenomancanbesurewhetheraSahibofthatbloodsees，ordoesnotsee，wemadeitstrictlyinthemanneroftheformsoftheEnglishLaw。Onlythewitnessesandtheslavesandtheprisonerwekeptwithoutforhisnose\'ssake。"

"Thenhedidnotseetheprisoner？"saidStrickland。

"IstoodbytoshackleupanAngariincaseheshoulddemandit，butbyGod\'sfavourhewastoofarfeveredtoaskforone。Itisquitetruehesignedthepapers。Itisquitetruehesawthemoneyputawayinthesafe——twohundredandtenEnglishpoundsanditisquitetruethatthegoldwroughtonhimasastrongcure。Butastohisseeingtheprisoner，andhavingspeechwiththeman-eaters——theHajjibreathedallthatonhisforeheadtosinkintohissickbrain。Alittle，asyehaveheard，hasremained……Ah，butwhenthefeverbroke，andourSahibcalledforthefine-book，andthethinlittlepicture-booksfromEuropewiththepicturesofploughsandhoes，andcotton=3Dmills——ah，thenhelaughedasheusedtolaugh，Sahib。

Itwashisheart\'sdesire，thiscotton-play。TheHajjilovedhim，aswhodoesnot？Itwasalittle，littlearrangement，Sahib，ofwhich——isitnecessarytotellalltheworld？"

"AndwhendidstthouknowwhotheHajjiwas？"saidStrickland。

"NotforacertaintytillheandourSahibhadreturnedfromtheirvisittotheSheshahelicountry。ItisquitetrueasourSahibsays，theman-eaterslay，flataroundhisfeet，andaskedforspadestocultivatecotton。Thatverynight，whenIwascookingthedinner，theHajjisaidtome:\'Igotomyownplace，thoughGodknowswhethertheManwiththeStoneEyeshaveleftmeanox，aslave，orawoman。\'Isaid:\'ThouartthenThatOne？\'

TheHajjisaid:\'Iamtenthousandrupeesrewardintothyhand。

Shallwemakeanotherlaw-caseandgetmorecottonmachinesfortheboy？\'Isaid:\'WhatdogamItodothis？MayGodprolongthylifeathousandyears!\'TheHajjisaid:\'Whohasseento-morrow？

Godhasgivenmeasitwereasoninmyoldage，andIpraiseHim。Seethatthebreedisnotlost!\'

"Hewalkedthenfromthecooking-placetoourSahib\'soffice-tableunderthetree，whereourSahibheldinhishandablueenvelopeofServicenewlycomeinbyrunnerfromtheNorth。

Atthis，fearingevilnewsfortheHajji，Iwouldhaverestrainedhim，buthesaid:\'WebebothGreatOnes。Neitherofuswillfail。\'OurSahiblookeduptoinvitetheHajjitoapproachbeforeheopenedtheletter，buttheHajjistoodofftillourSahibhadwellopenedandwellreadtheletter。ThentheHajjisaid:\'Isitpermittedtosayfarewell？\'OurSahibstabbedtheletteronthefilewithadeepandjoyfulbreathandcriedawelcome。TheHajjisaid:\'Igotomyownplace，\'andheloosedfromhisneckachainedheartofambergrissetinsoftgoldandhelditforth。

OurSahibsnatcheditswiftlyintheclosedfist，downturned，andsaid\'Ifthynamebewrittenhereon，itisneedless，foranameisalreadyengravedonmyheart。\'TheHajjisaid:\'Andonminealsoisanameengraved；butthereisnonameontheamulet。\'TheHajjistoopedtoourSahib\'sfeet，butourSahibraisedandembracedhim，andtheHajjicoveredhismouthwithhisshoulder-cloth，becauseitworked，andsohewentaway。"

"AndwhatorderwasintheServiceletter？"Stalkymurmured。

"OnlyanorderforourSahibtowriteareportonsomenewcattlesickness。Butallorderscomeinthesamemakeofenvelope。Wecouldnottellwhatorderitmighthavebeen。"

"Whenheopenedtheletter——myson——madehenosign？Acough？Anoath？"Stricklandasked。

"None，Sahib。Iwatchedhishands。Theydidnotshake。Afterwardhewipedhisface，buthewassweatingbeforefromtheheat。"

"Didheknow？DidheknowwhotheHajjiwas？"saidtheInfantinEnglish。

"Iamapoorman。WhocansaywhataSahibofthatgetknowsordoesnotknow？ButtheHajjiisright。Thebreedshouldnotbelost。ItisnotveryhotforlittlechildreninDupe，andasregardsnurses，mysister\'scousinatJull——"

"H\'m!Thatistheboy\'sownconcern。IwonderifhisChiefeverknew？"saidStrickland。

"Assuredly，"saidImamDin。"OnthenightbeforeourSahibwentdowntothesea，theGreatSahib——theManwiththeStoneEyes——dinedwithhiminhiscamp，Ibeinginchargeofthetable。

TheytalkedalongwhileandtheGreatSahibsaid:\'WhatdidstthouthinkofThatOne？\'(WedonotsayIbnMakarrahyonder。)OurSahibsaid:\'Whichone？\'TheGreatSahibsaid:\'ThatOnewhichtaughtthyman-eaterstogrowcottonforthee。HewasinthyDistrictthreemonthstomycertainknowledge，andIlookedbyeveryrunnerthatthouwouldstsendmeinhishead。\'OurSahibsaid:\'Ifhisheadhadbeenneeded，anothermanshouldhavebeenappointedtogovernmyDistrict，forhewasmyfriend。\'TheGreatSahiblaughedandsaid:\'IfIhadneededalessermaninthyplacebesureIwouldhavesenthim，as，ifIhadneededtheheadofThatOne，besureIwouldhavesentmentobringittome。Buttellmenow，bywhatmeansdidstthoutwisthimtothyuseandourprofitinthiscotton-play？\'OurSahibsaid:\'ByGod，Ididnotusethatmaninanyfashionwhatever。Hewasmyfriend。\'TheGreatSahibsaid:\'\'TohVac!(Bosh!)Tell!\'OurSahibshookhisheadashedoes——ashedidwhenachild——andtheylookedateachotherlikesword-playmenintheringatafair。TheGreatSahibdroppedhiseyesfirstandhesaid:\'Sobeit。Ishouldperhapshaveansweredthusinmyyouth。Nomatter。IhavemadetreatywithThatOneasanallyoftheState。Somedayheshalltellmethetale。\'ThenIbroughtinfreshcoffee，andtheyceased。ButI

donotthinkThatOnewilltelltheGreatSahibmorethanourSahibtoldhim。"

"Wherefore？"Iasked。

"BecausetheyarebothGreatOnes，andIhaveobservedinmylifethatGreatOnesemploywordsverylittlebetweeneachotherintheirdealings；stilllesswhentheyspeaktoathirdconcerningthosedealings。Alsotheyprofitbysilence……NowIthinkthatthemotherhascomedownfromtheroom，andIwillgorubhisfeettillhesleeps。"

HisearshadcaughtAgnes\'sstepatthestair-headandpresentlyshepassedusonherwaytothemusicroomhummingtheMagnificat。

THENEWKNIGHTHOOD

WhogiveshimtheBath？

"I，"saidthewet，RankJungle-sweat，"I\'llgivehimtheBath!"

Who\'llsingthepsalms？

"We，"saidthePalms。

"Erethehotwindbecalms，We\'llsingthepsalms。"

Wholaysonthesword？

"I，"saidtheSun，"Beforehehasdone，I\'lllayonthesword。"

Whofastenshisbelt？

"I，"saidShort-Rations，"IknowallthefashionsOftighteningabelt!"

Whobuckleshisspur？

"I，"saidhisChief，Exactingandbrief，"I\'llgivehimthespur。"

Who\'llshakehishand？

"I，"saidtheFever，"AndI\'mnodeceiver，I\'llshakehishand。"

Whobringshimthewine？

"I，"saidQuinine，"It\'sahabitofmine，I\'llcomewithhiswine。"

Who\'llputhimtoproof？

"I，"saidAllEarth，"Whateverhe\'sworth，I\'llputtotheproof。"

Who\'llchoosehimforKnight？

"I，"saidhisMother，"Beforeanyother，Myveryownknight!"

Andafterthisfashion，adventuretoseek，WasSirGalahadmade——asitmightbelastweek!

THEPUZZLER

IhadnotseenPenfentenyousincetheMiddleNineties，whenhewasMinisterofWaysandWoodsidesinDeThouar\'sfirstAdministration。Lastsummer，thoughhenominallyheldthesameportfolio，hewashisColony\'sPremierinallbutname，andtheidolofhisownprovince，whichistwoandahalftimesthesizeofEngland。Politically，hiscreedwashisgrowingcountry；andhecameovertoEnglandtodevelopaGreatIdeainherbehalf。

Believingthathehadputitintrain，Imadehastetowelcomehimtomyhouseforaweek。

ThathewaschasedtomydoorbyhisownAgent-Generalinamotor；thattheyturnedmystudyintoaCabinetMeetingwhichI

wasnotinvitedtoattend；thatthelocaltelegraphallbutbrokedownbeneaththestrainofhundredwordcodedcables；andthatI

practicallybrokeintothehouseofastrangertogethimtelephonicfacilitiesonaSunday，arethingsIoverlook。WhatI

objectedtowashisingratitude，whileIthustoreupEnglandtohelphim。SoIsaid:"Whyonearthdidn\'tyouseeyourOppositeNumberinTowninsteadofbringingyourofficeworkhere？"

"Eh？Who？"saidhe，lookingupfromhisfourthcablesincelunch。

"SeetheEnglishMinisterforWaysandWoodsides。"

"Isawhim，"saidPenfentenyou，withoutenthusiasm。

Itseemedthathehadcalledtwiceonthegentleman，butwithoutanappointment——("IthoughtifIwasn\'tbigenough，mybusinesswas")——andeachtimehadfoundhimengaged。Athirdpartyintervening，suggestedthatameetingmightbearrangedifduenoticeweregiven。

"Then，"saidPenfentenyou，"Icalledattheofficeatteno\'clock。"

"Butthey\'dbeinbed，"Icried。

"Oneofthebabieswasawake。Hetoldmethat——that\'mysortofquestions"\'——heslappedthepileofcables——"wereonlytakenbetween11and2P。M。SoIwaited。"

"Andwhenyougottobusiness？"Iasked。

Hemadeagestureofdespair。"Itwasliketalkingtochildren。

They\'dneverheardofit。"

"AndyourOppositeNumber？"

Penfentenyoudescribedhim。

"Hush!Youmustn\'ttalklikethat!"Ishuddered。"He\'soneofthebestofgoodfellows。Youshouldmeethimsocially。"

"I\'vedonethattoo，"hesaid。"Haveyou？"

"Heavenforbid!"Icried；"butthat\'stheproperthingtosay。"

"Oh，hesaidalltheproperthings。OnlyIthoughtasthiswasEnglandthatthey\'dmoreorlesshavethehangofallthe——generalhang-togetherofmyIdea。ButIhadtoexplainitfromthebeginning。"

"Ah!They\'dprobablymislaidthepapers，"Isaid，andItoldhimthestoryofathree-millionpoundinsurrectioncausedbyadeputyUnder-Secretarysittinguponamassofgreen-labelledcorrespondenceinsteadofreadingit。

"Iwonderitdoesn\'thappeneveryweek，"theanswered。"D\'youmindmyhavingtheAgent-Generaltodinneragaintonight？I\'llwire，andhecanmotordown。"

TheAgent-Generalarrivedtwohourslater，apatientandexpostulatingperson，visiblytornbetweenthepullingDevilofarampantColony，andtheplacidBakerofalargelyuninterestedEngland。ButwithPenfentenyoubehindhimhehadworked；forhetoldusthatLordLundie——theLawLordwasthefinalauthorityonthelegalandconstitutionalaspectsoftheGreatIdea，andtohimitmustbereferred。

"GoodHeavensalive!"thunderedPenfentenyou。"ItoldyoutogetthatsettledlastChristmas。"

"Itwasthemiddleofthehouse-partyseason，"saidtheAgent-Generalmildly。"LordLundie\'satCredenceGreennow——hespendshisholidaysthere。It\'sonlyfortymilesoff。"

"Shan\'tIdisturbhisHoliness？"saidPenfentenyouheavily。

"Perhaps\'mysortofquestions，"\'hesnorted，"mayn\'tbediscussedexceptatmidnight。"

"Oh，don\'tbeachild，"Isaid。

"Whatthiscountryneeds，"saidPenfentenyou，"is——"andfortenminuteshetrumpetedrebellion。

"Whatyouneedistopayforyourownprotection，"Icutinwhenhedrewbreath，andIshowedhimayellowishpaper，suppliedgratisbyGovernment，whichiscalledScheduleD。Tomymercilessdelighthehadneverseenthethingbefore，andIcompletedmyvictoryoverhimandalltheColonieswithaBrassey\'s"NavalAnnual"anda"Statesman\'sYearBook。"

TheAgent-Generalinterposedwithagent-generalities(buttheyweremerelyprovocateurs)aboutTiesofSentiment。

"Theybeblowed!"saidPenfentenyou。"What\'sthegoodofsentimenttowardsaKindergarten？"

"Quiteso。Tiesofcommonfunkarethethingsthatbindustogether；andthesooneryounewnationsrealizeitthebetter。

Whatyouneedisanannualinvasion。Thenyou\'dgrowup。"

"Thankyou!Thankyou!"saidtheAgent-General。"That\'swhatIamalwaystryingtotellmypeople。"

"But，mydearfool，"Penfentenyoualmostwept，"doyoupretendthatthesebanana-fingeredamateursathomearegrownup？"

"Youpoor，serious，paganman，"Iretorted，"ifyoutake\'emthatway，you\'llwreckyourGreatIdea。"

"WillyoutakehimtoLordLundie\'sto-morrow？"saidtheAgent-Generalpromptly。

"IsupposeImust，"Isaid，"ifyouwon\'t。"

"Notme!I\'mgoinghome，"saidtheAgent-General，anddeparted。I

amgladthatIamnocolony\'sAgent-General。

Penfentenyoucontinuedtoargueaboutnavalcontributionstill1。15A。M。，thoughIwasvictorfromthefirst。

Atteno\'clockIgothimandhiscorrespondenceintothemotor，andhehadthedecencytoaskwhetherhehadbeenunpolishedover-night。IrepliedthatIwaitedanapology。Thishemadeexcuseforrenewedarguments，andusedwaysideshowsasillustrationsofthedecadenceofEngland。

ForexampleweburstatyrewithinamileofCredenceGreen，and，tosavetime，walkedintothebeautifullykeptlittlevillage。

Hiseyewascaughtbyabuildingofpale-bluetin，stencilled"CalvinistChapel，"beforewhoseshutteredwindowsanItalianorgan-grinder。withapetticoatedmonkeywasplaying"DollyGrey-"

"Yes。That\'sit!"snappedtheegoist。"That\'saparableofthegeneralsituationinEngland。Andlookatthosebrutes!"Ahugehouseholdremovalsvanwashaltedatapublic-house。Themeninchargeweredrinkingbeerfromblueandwhitemugs。Itseemedtomeaprettysight，butPenfentenyousaiditrepresentedOurNationalAttitude。

LordLundie\'ssummerresting-placewelearnedwasafarm，alittleoutofthevillage，upahillroundwhichcurledahighhedgedroad。OnlyaninitiatedfewspendtheirholidaysatCredenceGreen，andtheyhavetrainedthehouseholderstokeeptheplaceselect。Penfentenyoumadeagrievanceofthisaswewalkedupthelane，followedatadistancebytheorgan-grinder。

"Supposeheishavingahouse-party，"hesaid:"Anything\'spossibleinthisinsaneland。"

Justatthatminutewefoundourselvesoppositeanemptyvilla。

Itsroofwasofblackslate，withbrightunweatheredridge-tiling；itswallswereofblood-colouredbrick，corneredandbandedwithvermiculatedstuccowork，andtherewascobalt，magenta，andpurestapple-greenwindow-glassoneithersideofthefrontdoor。Thewholewasfencedfromtheroadbyalow，brick-pillared，flintwall，toppedwithacast-ironGothicrail，pickedoutinblueandgold。

Tightbedsofgeranium，calceolaria，andlobeliaspeckledtheglass-plat，fromwhosecentreroseoneofthefinestaraucarias(itsothernamebythewayis"monkey-puzzler")，thatithaseverbeenmylottosee。Itmusthavebeenfullthirtyfeethigh，anditsfoliageexquisitelyansweredtheironrailings。Suchbijouneplusultras，repletewithalltheamenities，donot，asIpointedouttoPenfentenyou，transpireoutsideofEngland。

Ahedge，swingingsharpright，flankedthegarden，andaboveitonaslopeofdaisy-dottedmeadowswecouldseeLordLundie\'stiledandhalf-timberedsummerfarmhouse。Ofasuddenweheardvoicesbehindthetree——thefinefulltonesoftheunembarrassedEnglish，speakingtotheirequals——thattorethroughthehedgelikesleetthroughrafters。

"Thatitisnotcalled\'monkey-puzzler\'fornothing，Iwillinglyconcede"——thiswasarichandrollingnote——"butontheotherhand——"

"Isubmit，melud，thatthenameimpliesthatitmight，could，would，orshouldbeascendedbyamonkey，andnotthattheascentisaphysicalimpossibility。IbelieveoneofourSouthAmericanspidermonkeyswouldn\'thesitate……ByJove，itmightbeworthtrying，if——"

Thiswasacrispervoicethanthefirst。Athird，higher-pitched，andfullofpleasantaffectations，brokein。

"Oh，practicalmen，thereisnoapehere。WhydoyouwasteoneofGod\'sowndaysonunprofitablediscussion？Givemeamatch!"

"I\'veagoodmindtomakeyoudemonstrateinyourownperson。

Comeon，Bubbles!We\'llmakeJimmyclimb!"

Therewasasoundofscuffling，brokenbysqueaksfromJimmyofthehighvoice。IturnedbackanddrewPenfentenyouintothesideoftheflankinghedge。IrememberedtohavereadinasocietypaperthatLordLundie\'slessernamewas"Bubbles。"

"Whataretheydoing？"Penfentenyousaidsharply。"Drunk？"

"Justplaying!SuperabundantvitalityoftheRace，youknow。

We\'llwatch\'em，"Ianswered。Thenoiseceased。

"Mydeliver，"Jimmygasped。"Theramcaughtinthethicket，and——I\'mtheonlyonewhocantalkNeapolitan!Leggomycollar!"

Hecriedaloudinaforeigntongue，andwasansweredfromthegate。

"It\'stheCalvinisticorgan-grinder，"Iwhispered。Ihadalreadyfoundapracticablebreakatthebottomofthehedge。"They\'regoingtotrytomakethemonkeyclimb，Ibelieve。"

"Here——letmelook!"Penfentenyouflunghimselfdown，androotedtillhetoobrokeapeep-hole。Welaysidebysidecommandingtheentiregardenattenyards\'range。

"Youknow\'em？"saidPenfentenyou，asImadesomenoiseorother。

"Bysightonly。ThebigfellowinflannelsisLordLundie；thelight-builtonewiththeyellowbeardpaintedhispictureatthelastAcademy:He\'saswellR。A。，JamesLoman。"

"Andthebrownchapwiththehands？"

"Tomling，SirChristopherTomling，theSouthAmericanengineerwhobuiltthe——"

"SanJuanViaduct。Iknow，"saidPenfentenyou。"Weoughttohavehadhimwithus……Doyouthinkamonkeywouldclimbthetree？"

Theorgan-grinderatthegatefencedhisbeastwithonearmasJimmy-talked。

"Don\'tshowoffyourfutileaccomplishments，"saidLordLundie。

"Tellhimit\'sanexperiment。Interesthim!"

"Shutup，Bubbles。Youaren\'tincourt，"Jimmy\'，replied。"Thisneedsdelicacy。Giuseppesays——"

"Interestthemonkey，"thebrownengineerinterrupted。"Hewon\'tclimbforlove。Cutuptothehouseandgetsomebiscuits，Bubbles——sugaronesandanorangeortwo。Noneedtotellourwomenfolk。"

Thehugewhitefigurelobbedoffatatrotwhichwouldnothavedisgracedaboyofseventeen。IgatheredfromsomethingJimmyletfallthatthethreehadbeenatHarrowtogether。

"ThatTomlinghasaheadonhisShoulders，"mutteredPenfentenyou。"Pitywedidn\'tgethimfortheColony。Butthequestionis，willthemonkeyclimb？"

"Bequick，Jimmy。Tellthemanwe\'llgivehimfivebobfortheloanofthebeast。Nowruntheorganunderthetree，andwe\'lldressitwhenBubblescomesback，"SirChristophercried。

"I\'veoftenwondered，"saidPenfentenyou，"whetheritwouldpuzzleamonkey？"HehadforgottentheneedsofhisGrowingNation，andwasearnestlypartingthewhite-thornstemswithhisfingers。

**********

GiuseppeandJimmydidastheyweretold，themonkeyfollowingthemwithawaryandmalignanteye。

"Here\'sadiscovery，"saidJimmy。"Thesingingpartofthisorgancomesoffthewheels。"Hespokevolublytotheproprietor。"Oh，it\'ssoasGiuseppecantakeittohisroomo\'nights。Andplayit。D\'youhearthat？Theorgan-grinder，afterhisday\'scrime，playshisaccursedmachineforlove。Forlove，Chris!AndMichaelAngelowasoneof\'em!"

"Don\'tjaw!Tellhimtotakethebeast\'spetticoatoff，"saidSirChristopherTomling。

LordLundiereturned，verylittlewinded，throughagaphigherupthehedge。

"They\'reallout，thankgoodness!"hecried，"butI\'veraidedwhatIcould。Macronsglaces，candiedfruit，andabagoforanges。"

"Excellent!"saidtheworld-renownedcontractor。

"Jimmy，you\'rethelight-weight；jumpupontheorganandimpalethesethingsontheleavesasIhand\'em!"

"Isee，"saidJimmy，caperinglikeaspringbuck。"Upwardandonward，eh？First，he\'llreachoutfor——howinfernalpricklytheseleavesare!——thisbiscuit。Nextwe\'lllurehimon——(that\'saboutthereachofhisarm)——withthemarronglare，andthenhe\'llopenoutthisorange。Howhuman!Howlikeyourignoblecareer，Bubbles!"

Withcareandelaborationtheyornamentedthattree\'slowerbrancheswithsugar-toppedbiscuits，oranges，bitsofbanana，andmarronsglarestillitlookedveryape\'spathtoParadise。

"UnchaintheGyascutis!"saidSirChristophercommandingly。

Giuseppeplacedthemonkeyatopoftheorgan，wherethebeast，misunderstanding，stoodonhishead。

"He\'sthrowinghimselfonthemercyoftheCourt，melud，"saidJimmy。"No——nowhe\'sinterested。Nowhe\'sreachingafterhigherthings。Whatwouldn\'tIgivetohavehere"(hementionedanamenotunhonouredinBritishArt)。"AmbitionpluckingapplesofSodom!"(themonkeyhadprickedhimselfandwasswearing)。

"GeniushamperedbyConvention？Oh，there\'sawholebushelfulofallegoriesinit!"

"Givehimtime。He\'sbalancingtheprobabilities，"saidLordLundie。

Thethreeclosedroundthemonkey，——hangingonhiseverymotionwithanearnestnessalmostequaltoours。Thegreatjudge\'shead——seamedandverticalforehead，ironmouth，andpike-likeunder-jaw，allsetonthatthickneckrisingoutofthewhiteflannelledcollar——wasthrownagainstthepuckeredgreensilkoftheorgan-frontasitmighthavebeenacameoofTitus。Jimmy，withraisedeyesandpartedlips，fingeredhisgrizzledchestnutbeard，andIwasnearenoughto-note，thecapablebeautyofhishands。SirChristopherstoodalittleapart，hisarmsfoldedbehindhisback，oneheavybrownbootthrustforward，chininascurbed，andblackeyebrowsloweredtoshadethekeeneyes。

Giuseppe\'sdarkfacebetweenflashingearrings，atwistedragofredandyellowsilkroundhisthroat，turnedfromthereachingyearningmonkeytothepinkandwhitebiscuitsspikedonthebronzedleafage。AnduponthemallfelltheseriousandworkmanlikesunofanEnglishsummerforenoon。

"FilsdeSaintLouis，montezauciel!"saidLordLundiesuddenlyinavoicethatmademethinkofBlackCaps。Idonotknowwhatthemonkeythought，becauseatthatinstantheleapedofftheorgananddisappeared。

Therewasaclashofbrokenglassbehindthetree。

Themonkey\'sface，distortedwithpassion，appearedatanupperwindowofthehouse，andastarredholeinthestained-glasswindowtotheleftof\'thefrontdoorshowedthefirststepsofhisupwardpath。

"We\'vegottocatchhim，"criedSirChristopher。"Comealong!"

Theypushedatthedoor，whichwasunlocked。

"Yes。Butconsidertheethicsofthecase，"saidJimmy。"Isn\'tthisburglaryorsomething，Bubbles？"

"Settlethatwhenhe\'scaught，"saidSirChristopher。We\'reresponsibleforthebeast。"

Afuriousclangingofbellsbrokeoutoftheemptyhouse，followedbymuffedgurglingsandtrumpetings。

"Whatthedeuceisthat？"Iasked，halfaloud。

"Theplumbing，ofcourse，"saidPenfentenyou。"Whatapity!I

believehe\'dhaveclimbedifLordLundiehadn\'tputhimoff!"

"Waitamoment，Chris，"saidJimmytheinterpreter；"Guiseppesayshemayanswertothemusicofhisinfancy。Giuseppe，therefore，willgoinwiththe"organ。Orpheuswithhislute，youknow。Avante，Orpheus!There\'snoNeapolitanforbathroom，butI

fancyyourfriendisthere。"

"I\'mnotgoingintoanotherman\'shousewitha，hurdy-gurdy，"

saidLordLundie，recoiling，asGiuseppeunshippedtheworkingmechanismoftheorgan(itdevelopedahang-downleg)fromitswheels，slippedastraproundhisshoulders，andgavethehandleatwist。

"Don\'tbeacad，Bubbles，"wasJimmy\'sanswer。"Youcouldn\'tleaveusnowifyouwereontheWoolsack。Play，Orpheus!TheCadiaccompanies。"

*********

Withawhoop，abuzz，andacrash，theorgansprangtolifeunderthehandofGiuseppe，andtheprocessionpassedthroughtherained-to-imitate-walnutfrontdoor。Amomentlaterwesawthemonkeyrampingontheroof。

"He\'llbealloverthetownshipinaminuteifwedon\'theadhim，"saidPenfentenyou，leapingtohisfeet，andcrashingintothegarden。Weheadedhimwithpebblestillheretiredthroughawindowtothetunefulreminderthathehadleftalotoflittlethingsbehindhim。Aswepassedthefrontdooritswungopen，andshowedJimmytheartistsittingatthebottomofanewly-cleanedstaircase。Hewaggledhishandsatus，andwhenweenteredwesawthatthemanwasstrickenspeechless。Hiseyesgrewred——redlikeaferret\'s——andwhatlittlebreathhehadwhistledshrilly。Atfirstwethoughtitwasafit，andthenwesawthatitwasmirth——theinopportunemirthoftheArtisticTemperament。

Thehousepalpitatedtoaninfamousmelodypunctuatedbythestumpofthebarrel-organ\'soneleg，asGiuseppe，above，movedfromroomtoroomafterhisrebelslave。NowandagainafloorshookalittleunderthecombinedrushesofLordLundieandSirChristopherTomling，whogavemanyandcontradictoryorders。ButwhentheycouldtheycursedJimmywithsplendidthoroughness。

"Haveyouanythingtodowiththehouse？"pantedJimmyatlast。

"Becausewe\'reusingitjustnow。"Hegulped。"AndI\'mah——keepingcave。"

"Allright，"saidPenfentenyou，andshutthehalldoor。

"Jimmy，youunspeakableblackguard)Jimmy，youcur!Youcoward!"

(LordLundie\'svoiceoverborethefloodofmelody。)"Comeuphere!Giussieppe\'ssayingsomethingwedon\'tunderstand。"

Jimmylistenedandinterpretedbetweenhiccups。

"Hesaysyou\'dbetterplaytheorgan，Bubbles，andlethimdothestalking。Themonkeyknowshim。"

"ByJove，he\'squiteright，"saidSirChristopher，fromthelanding。"Takeit，Bubbles，atonce。"

"MyGod!"saidLordLundieinhorror。

Thechasereverberatedoverourheads，fromtheatticstothefirstfloorandbackagain。BodiesandVoicesmetincollisionandargument，andonceortwicetheorganhitwallsanddoors。

Thenitbrokeforthinanewmanner。

"He\'splayingit，"saidJimmy。"IknowhisacuteJustinianear。

Areyoufondofmusic？"

"IthinkLordLundieplaysverywellforabeginner，"Iventured。

"Ah!That\'sthetrainedlegalintellect。Likemasteringabrief。

Ihaven\'tgotit。"Hewipedhiseyesandshook。

"Hi!"saidPenfentenyou，lookingthroughthestainedglasswindowdownthegarden。"What\'sthat!"

*********

Ahouseholdremovalsvan，inchargeoffourmen，hadhaltedatthegate。Ahusbandandhiswifehouseholdersbeyondquestion——quaveredirresolutelyupthepath。Helookedtired。Shewascertainlycross。Inallthishaphazardworldthelastcoupletounderstandascientificexperiment。

IlaidhandsonJimmy——theclamourabovedrowningspeechandwithPenfentenyou\'said，proppedhimagainstthewindow，thatheshouldsee。

Hesaw，nodded，fellasanumbrellacanfall，andkneeling，beathisforeheadontheshutdoor。Penfentenyouslidthebolt。

Thefurnituremenreinforcedthetwofiguresonthepath，andadvanced，spreadinggenerously。

"Hadn\'twebetterwarnthemup-stairs？"Isuggested:

"No。I\'lldiefirst!"saidJimmy。"I\'mprettynearitnow。

Besides，theycalledmenames。"

IturnedfromtheArtisttotheAdministrator。

"Coeterisparibus，Ithinkwe\'dbetterbegoing，"saidPenfentenyou，dealerincrises。

"Ta——takemewithyou，"saidJimmy。"I\'venoreputationtolose，butI\'dliketowatch\'emfrom——er——outsidethepicture。"

"There\'salwaysamodusviviendi，"Penfentenyoumurmured，andtiptoedalongthehalltoabackdoor，whichheopenedquitesilently。Wepassedintoatangleofgooseberrybusheswhere，athisstatesmanlikeexample，wecrawledonallfours，andregainedthehedge。

Herewelayup，secureinouralibi。

"Butyourfirm，"——thewomanwaswailingtothefurnitureremovalsmen——"yourfirmpromisedmeeverythingshouldbeinyesterday。

Andit\'sto-day!Youshouldhavebeenhereyesterday!"

"Thelasttenantsain\'toutyet，lydy，"saidoneofthem。

LordLundiewasrapidlyimprovingintechnique，thoughorgan-grinding，unliketheLaw，ismoreofacallingthanatrade，andhehungoccasionallyonadeadcentre。Giuseppe，I

think，wassinging，butIcouldnotunderstandthedriftofSirChristopher\'sremarks。TheywereSpanish。

Thewomansaidsomethingwedidnotcatch。

"Youmight\'avesub-letit，"themaninsisted。"Oryourgentleman\'eremight。"

"ButIdidn\'t。SendforthePoliceatonce。"

"Iwouldn\'tdothat，lydy。They\'reonlyfruitpickersonabeano。

Theyaren\'tparticularwheretheysleep。"

"D\'youmeanthey\'vebeensleepingthere？Ionlyhaditcleanedlastweek。Getthemout。"

"Oh，ifyousayso，we\'ll\'ave\'emoutofitintwotwos。Alf，fetchmethespareswingle-bar。"

"Don\'t!You\'llknockthepaintoffthedoor。Getthemout!"

"Whatthe\'ellelseamItryingtodoforyou，lydy？"themanansweredwithpathos；butthewomanwheeledonhermate。

"Edward!They\'realldrunkhere，andthey\'reallmadthere。Dosomething!"shesaid。

Edwardtookoneshortstepforward，andsighed"Hullo!"inthedirectionoftheturbulenthouse。Thewomanwalkedupanddown，theveryfigureofDomesticTragedy。Thefurnituremenswayedalittleontheirheels，and-

"Gothim!"Theshoutrangthroughallthewindowsatonce。Itwasfollowedbyablood-hound-likebayfromSirChristopher，amaniacalprestissimoontheorgan，andloudcries，forJimmy。ButJimmy，atmyside，rolledhiscongestedeyeballs，owl-wise。

"Ineverknewthem，"hesaid。"I\'manorphan。"

*********

Thefront，dooropened，andthethreecameforthtoshort-livedtriumph。IhadneverbeforeseenaLawLorddressedasfortennis，withastump-legbarrel-organstrappedtohisshoulder。

Butitisashybirdinthisplumage。LordLundiestrovetodisembarrasshimselfofhisaccoutrementsmuchasanill-trainedPunchandJudydogtriestoescapebackwardsthroughhisfrilledcollar。SirChristopher，coveredwithlimewash，cherishedableedingthumb，andthealmostcrazymonkeytoreatGiuseppe\'shair。

Themenonbothsidesreeled，butthewomanstoodherground。

"Idiots!"shesaid，andoncemore，"Idiots!"

IcouldhavegladdenedafewconvictsofmyacquaintancewithaphotographofLordLundieatthatinstant。

"Madam，"hebegan，wonderfullypreservingtherollinhisvoice，"itwasamonkey。"

SirChristophersuckedhisthumbandnodded。

"Takeitawayandgo，"shereplied。"Goaway!"

Iwouldhavegone，andgladly，onthispermission，butthesestillstrongmenmusteverbejustifyingthemselves。LordLundieturnedtothehusband，whoforthefirsttimespoke。

"Ihaverentedthishouse。Iammovingin，"hesaid。

"Weoughttohavebeeninyesterday，"thewomaninterrupted。

"Yes。Weoughttohavebeeninyesterday。Haveyousleptthereovernight？"saidthemanpeevishly。

"No；Iassureyouwehaven\'t，"saidLordLundie。

"Thengoaway。Goquiteaway，"criedthewoman。

Theywent——insinglefiledownthepath。Theywentsilently，restrappingtheorganonitswheels，andrechainingthemonkeytotheorgan。

"Damnitall!"saidPenfentenyou。"Theydofacethemusic，andtheydostickbyeachotherinprivatelife!"

"TiesofCommonFunk，"Ianswered。Giusepperantothegateandfledbacktothepossibleworld。LordLundieandSirChristopher，constrainedbytradition，pacedslowly。

Thenitcametopassthatthewoman，whowalkedbehindthem，lifteduphereyes，andbeheldthetreewhichtheyhaddressed。

"Stop!"shecalled；andtheystopped。"Whodidthat？"

Therewasnoanswer。TheEternalBadBoyineverymanhungitsheadbeforetheEternalMotherineverywoman。

"Whoputthesedisgustingthingsthere？"sherepeated。

SuddenlyPenfentenyou，PremierofhisColonyinallbutname，leftJimmyandme，andappearedatthegate。(Ifheisnotturnedoutofoffice，thatishowhewillappearontheDayofArmageddon。)

"Welldoneyou!"hecriedzealously，anddoffedhishattothewoman。"Haveyouanychildren，madam？"hedemanded。

"Yes，two。Theyshouldhavebeenhereto-day。Thefirmpromised——"

"Thenwe\'renotaminutetoosoon。Thatmonkeyescaped。Itwasaverydangerousbeast。\'Mighthavefrightenedyourchildrenintofits。Alltheorgan-grinder\'sfault!Amostluckythingthesegentlemencaughtitwhentheydid。Ihopeyouaren\'tbadlymauled，SirChristopher？"ShakenasIwas(Iwantedtogetawayandlaugh)Icouldnotbutadmirethescoundrel\'sconsummatetactinleadinghissecondhighesttrump。AnasswouldhaveintroducedLordLundieandtheywouldnothavebelievedhim。

Ittookthetrick。Thecouplesmiled，andgaverespectfulthanksfortheirdeliverancebysuchhandsfromsuchperils。

"Notintheleast，"saidLordLundie。"Anybody——anyfatherwouldhavedoneasmuch，andpraydon\'tapologizeyourmistakewasquitenatural。"Afurnituremansniggeredhere，andLordLundierolledanEyeofDoomontheirranks。"Bytheway，ifyouhavetroublewiththesepersons——theyseemtohavetakenasmuchasisgoodforthem——pleaseletmeknow。Er——Goodmorning!"

Theyturnedintothelane。

"Heavens!"saidJimmy，brushinghimselfdown。"Who\'sthatrealmanwiththerealhead？"andwehurriedafterthem，fortheywererunningunsteadily，squeakinglikerabbitsastheyran。Weovertooktheminalittlenutwoodhalfamileuptheroad，wheretheyhadturnedaside，andwererolling。Sowerolledwiththem，andceasednottillwehadarrivedattheextremityofexhaustion。

"You——yousawitall，then？"saidLordLundie，rebuttoninghisnineteen-inchcollar。

"Isawitwasavitalquestionfromthefirst，"respondedPenfentenyou，andblewhisnose。

"Itwas。Bytheway，d\'youmindtellingmeyourname？"

Summa。Penfentenyou\'sGreatIdeahasgonethrough，alittlechippedattheedges，butinfineandfar-reachingshape。HisOppositeNumberworkedatitlikeamule——abewilderedmule，beatenfrombehind，coaxedfrominfront，andproppedoneithersoftsidebyLordLundieofthecompressedmouthandthesearingtongue。

SirChristopherTomlinghasbeenravishedfromtheArgentine，where，afterall，hewasbutpreparingtrade-routesforhostilepeoples，andnowadornstheforefrontofPenfentenyou\'sAdvisoryBoard。Thiswasanunforeseenextra，aswasJimmy\'sgratisfull-length——(itwillbeinthisyear\'sAcademy)ofPenfentenyou，whohasreturnedtohisownplace。

Nowandagain，fromafaroff，betweentheslamandbumpofhisshiftingscenery，theglareofhismanipulatedlimelight，andthecontrolledrollingofhisthunder-drums，Icatchhisvoice，liftedinencouragementandadvicetohisfellow-countrymen。HeisquitesoundonTiesofSentiment，and——aloneofColonialStatesmenventurestotalkoftheTiesofCommonFunk。

HereinIhavemyreward。

THEPUZZLER

TheCeltinallhisvariantsfromBuilthtoBallyhoo，Hismentalprocessesareplain——oneknowswhathewilldo，Andcanlogicallypredicatehisfinishbyhisstart:

ButtheEnglish——ah，theEnglish!——theyarequitearaceapart。

Theirpsychologyisbovine，theiroutlookcrudeandrare；

Theyabandonvitalmatterstobetickledwithastraw；

Butthestrawthattheyweretickledwith——thechaffthattheywerefedwith——

Theyconvertintoaweaver\'sbeamtobreaktheirfoeman\'sheadwith。

ForundemocraticreasonsandformotivesnotofState，Theyarriveattheirconclusions——largelyinarticulate。

Beingvoidofself-expressiontheyconfidetheirviewstonone；

Butsometimes，inasmoking-room，onelearnswhythingsweredone。

Intelegraphicsentences，halfswallowedattheends，Theyhintamatter\'sinwardness——andtherethematterends。

AndwhiletheCeltistalkingfromValenciatoKirkwall，TheEnglish——ah，theEnglish!——don\'tsayanythingatall!

LITTLEFOXES

ATALEOFTHEGIHONHUNT

AfoxcameoutofhisearthonthebanksoftheGreatRiverGihon，whichwatersEthiopia。Hesawawhitemanridingthroughthedrydhurra-stalks，and，thathisdestinymightbefulfilled，barkedathim。

Theriderdrewreinamongthevillagersroundhisstirrup。

"What，"saidhe，"isthat？"

"That，"saidtheSheikhofthevillage，"isafox，OExcellencyOurGovernor。"

"Itisnot，then，ajackal？"

"Nojackal，butAbuHusseinthefatherofcunning。"

"Also，"thewhitemanspokehalfaloud，"IamMudirofthisProvince。"

"Itistrue，"theycried。"Ya，SaartelMudir"(OExcellencyOurGovernor)。

TheGreatRiverGihon，wellusedtothemoodsofkings，slidbetweenhismile-widebankstowardthesea，whiletheGovernorpraisedGodinaloudandsearchingcryneverbeforeheardbytheriver。

Whenhehadloweredhisrightforefingerfrombehindhisrightear，thevillagerstalkedtohimoftheircrops——barley，dhurrah，millet，onions，andthelike。TheGovernorstoodinhisstirrups。

Northhelookedupastripofgreencultivationafewhundredyardswidethatlaylikeacarpetbetweentheriverandthetawnylineofthedesert。Sixtymilesthatstripstretchedbeforehim，andasmanybehind。Ateveryhalf-mileagroaningwater-wheelliftedthesoftwaterfromtherivertothecropsbywayofamud-builtaqueduct。Afootorsowidewasthewater-channel；fivefootormorehighwasthebankonwhichitran，anditsbasewasbroadinproportion。AbuHussein，misnamedtheFatherofCunning，drankfromtheriverbelowhisearth，andhisshadowwaslonginthelowsun。HecouldnotunderstandtheloudcrywhichtheGovernorhadcried。

TheSheikhofthevillagespokeofthecropsfromwhichtherulersofalllandsdrawrevenue；buttheGovernor\'seyeswerefixed，betweenhishorse\'sears，onthenearestwater-channel。

"VerylikeaditchinIreland，"hemurmured，andsmiled，dreamingofarazor-toppedbankindistantKildare。

Encouragedbythatsmile，theSheikhcontinued。"Whencropsfailitisnecessarytoremittaxation。Thenitisagoodthing，O

ExcellencyOurGovernor，thatyoucomeandseethecropswhichhavefailed，anddiscoverthatwehavenotlied。"

"Assuredly。"TheGovernorshortenedhisreins。Thehorsecanteredon，roseattheembankmentofthewater-channel，changedlegcleverlyontop，andhoppeddowninacloudofgoldendust。

AbuHusseinfromhisearthwatchedwithinterest。Hehadneverbeforeseensuchthings。

"Assuredly，"theGovernorrepeated，andcamebackbythewayhehadgone。"Itisalwaysbesttoseeforone\'sself。"

Anancientandstillbullet-speckledstern-wheelsteamer，withabargelashedtoherside，cameroundtheriverbend。ShewhistledtotelltheGovernorhisdinnerwasready，andthehorse，seeinghisfodderpiledonthebarge，whinniedback。

"Moreover，"theSheikhadded，"inthedaysoftheOppressiontheEmirsandtheircreaturesdispossessedmanypeopleoftheirlands。Allupanddowntheriverourpeoplearewaitingtoreturntotheirlawfulfields。"

"Judgeshavebeenappointedtosettlethatmatter，"saidtheGovernor。"Theywillpresentlycomeinsteamersandhearthewitnesses。"

"Wherefore？DidtheJudgeskilltheEmirs？WewouldratherbejudgedbythemenwhoexecutedGod\'sjudgmentontheEmirs。Wewouldratherabidebyyourdecision，OExcellencyOurGovernor。"

TheGovernornodded。ItwasayearsincehehadseentheEmirsstretchedcloseandstillroundthereddenedsheepskinwherelayElMahdi，theProphetofGod。Nowthereremainednotraceoftheirdominionexcepttheoldsteamer，oncepartofaDervishflotilla，whichwashishouseandoffice。Shesidledintotheshore，loweredaplank，andtheGovernorfollowedhishorseaboard。

Lightsburnedonhertilllate，dullyreflectedintheriverthattuggedathermooring-ropes。TheGovernorread，notforthefirsttime，theadministrationreportsofoneJohnJorrocks，M。F。H。

"Weshallneed，"hesaidsuddenlytohisInspector，"abouttencouple。I\'llget\'emwhenIgohome。You\'llbeWhip，Baker？"

TheInspector，whowasnotyettwenty-five，signifiedhisassentintheusualmanner，whileAbuHusseinbarkedatthevastdesertmoon。

"Ha!"saidtheGovernor，comingoutinhispyjamas，"we\'llbegivingyoucapiviinanotherthreemonths，myfriend。"

*****

Itwasfour，asamatteroffact，ereasteamerwithamelodiousbargefulofhoundsanchoredatthatlanding。TheInspectorleapeddownamongthem，andthehomesickwanderersreceivedhimasabrother。

"Everybodyfed\'emeverythingonboardship，butthey\'rerealdaintyhoundsatbottom，"theGovernorexplained。"That\'sRoyalyou\'vegotholdof——thepickofthebunch——andthebitchthat\'sgot，holdofyou——she\'salittleexcited——isMayQueen。Merriman，outofCottesmoreMaudlin，youknow。"

"Iknow。\'Grandoldbetchwiththetaneyebrows，"\'theInspectorcooed。"Oh，Ben!Ishalltakeaninterestinlifenow。Harkto\'em!Ohark!"

AbuHussein，underthehighbank，wentabouthisnight\'swork。Aneddycarriedhisscenttothebarge，andthreevillagesheardthecrashofmusicthatfollowed。EventhenAbuHusseindidnotknowbetterthantobarkinreply。

"Well，whataboutmyProvince？"theGovernorasked。

"Notsobad，"theInspectoranswered，withRoyal\'sheadbetweenhisknees。"Ofcourse，allthevillageswantremissionoftaxes，but，asfarasIcansee，thewholecountry\'sstinkin\'withfoxes。Ourtroublewillbechoppin\'\'emincover。I\'vegotalistoftheonlyvillagesentitledtoanyremission。Whatd\'youcallthisflat-sided，blue-mottledbeastwiththejowl？"

"Beagle-boy。Ihavemydoubtsabouthim。Doyouthinkwecangettwodaysaweek？"

"Easy；andasmanybyesasyouplease。TheSheikhofthisvillageheretellsmethathisbarleyhasfailed，andhewantsafiftypercentremission。"

"We\'llbeginwithhimto-morrow，andlookathiscropsaswego。

Nothinglikepersonalsupervision，"saidtheGovernor。

Theybeganatsunrise。Thepackflewoffthebargeineverydirection，and，aftergambols，dugliketerriersatAbuHussein\'smanyearths。Thentheydrankthemselvespot-belliedonGihonwaterwhiletheGovernorandtheInspectorchastisedthemwithwhips。Scorpionswereadded；forMayQueennosedone，andwasremovedtothebargelamenting。Mystery(apuppy，alas!)metasnake，andtheblue-mottledBeagle-boy(neveradaintyhound)atethatwhichheshouldhavepassedby。OnlyRoyal，oftheBelvoirtanheadandthesad，discerningeyes，madeanyattempttoupholdthehonourofEnglandbeforethewatchingvillage。

"Youcan\'texpecteverything，"saidtheGovernorafterbreakfast。

"Wegotit，though——everythingexceptfoxes。HaveyouseenMayQueen\'snose？"saidtheInspector。

"AndMystery\'sdead。We\'llkeep\'emcouplednexttimetillwegetwellinamongthecrops。Isay，whatababblingbody-snatcherthatBeagle-boyis!Oughttobedrowned!"

"Theyburypeoplesodamncasualhereabouts。Givehimanotherchance，"theInspectorpleaded，notknowingthatheshouldlivetorepentmostbitterly。

"Talkin\'ofchances，"saidtheGovernor，"thisSheikhliesabouthisbarleybein\'afailure。Ifit\'shighenoughtohideahoundatthistimeofyear，it\'sallright。Andhewantsafiftypercentremission，yousaid？"

"Youdidn\'tgoonpastthemelonpatchwhereItriedtoturnWanderer。It\'sallburnedupfromthereontothedesert。Hisotherwater-wheelhasbrokendown，too，"theInspectorreplied。

"Verygood。We\'llsplitthedifferenceandallowhimtwenty-fivepercentoff。Where\'llwemeetto-morrow？"

"There\'ssometroubleamongthevillagesdowntheriverabouttheirland-titles。It\'sgoodgoin\'groundthere，too，"theInspectorsaid。

Thenextmeet，then，wassometwentymilesdowntheriver，andthepackwerenotenlargedtilltheywerefairlyamongthefields。AbuHusseinwasthereinforce——fourofhim。Fourdelirioushuntsoffourminuteseach——fourhoundsperfox——endedinfourearthsjustabovetheriver。Allthevillagelookedon。

"Weforgotabouttheearths。Thebanksareriddledwith\'em。

This\'lldefeatus，"saidtheInspector。

"Waitamoment!"TheGovernordrewforthasneezinghound。"I\'vejustrememberedI\'mGovernoroftheseparts。"

"Thenturnoutablackbattaliontostopforus。We\'llneed\'em，oldman。"